Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
A/N: I know I said this was an oneshot, but when reading over it, I decided to update at least once more. I 'm not promising to make this a story with regular updates or anything, but here's this at least. In the first part of this story I believe I mentioned a brownie; any info I wrote about that was based off of movies and the internet. As for any street, place, or info on monsters I mention here, it is either completely made up or, in the case of the monster info, based off of the internet. I apologize if I offend anyone with my lack of knowledge, making me somewhat resemble Cal. The end. Or well, beginning I suppose.
Movies a la Dracula- Part II
"You're back early; did something happen?" Niko asked me calmly from the kitchen table where he was reading the paper. I walked past him, taking my time answering, and into my bedroom. I slipped off my jacket and unbuckled and unlatched all my weapons one by one from their various positions. It was as I was trying to undo a buckle from the middle of my back that Niko stepped in silently. I could hear the television on in the living room and assumed Robin was staying for a while.
Nik took the knife down from my back with a well-practiced ease as I detached my gun holster from my waist. I ran my fingers over it once before setting it down in the small pile that had formed. I thought back to when I got that gun. It had been on my birthday a year or two ago; a present from Niko.
I awoke at the feel of a sharp slap on my head that was expertly angled to hit a nerve in my skull. I twitched, annoyed, and flopped over on my other side. "No Cal. Don't go back to sleep; you have to get up."
"Why? It's too early, Nik, come back in about…" And I drifted off. "Ouch!" There was that nerve again.
"I told you not to go back to sleep," I heard my brother say, and the amusement could only be vaguely detected. I sighed in defeat and, rolling over again, sat up. Or more accurately, rolled over and fell straight to the floor. I gasped as the breath was knocked out of me and my previously-closed eyes flew open. I heard a snort from somewhere up above my head and glared at Niko.
He obligingly offered me a hand and hauled me to my feet. "Well, now that we are all awake," He stopped to chuckle once. "Would you like to open your present?" Oh, well that explains why he's acting almost carefree. I followed him out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, sitting at the table where my present was neatly wrapped. "Happy birthday brother," Niko said handing me a bowl of oatmeal with a candle stuck in the middle.
As I ripped open the package, and saw the nice, pretty gun I didn't even complain about his idea of a birthday meal. I grinned at him and actually tried a bite of the stuff, still holding my new toy in one hand. It was even worse than it looked. "Thanks."
"Cal?" I heard Nik say and got the feeling it wasn't the first time by the annoyed look in his eye.
"What?" I asked, clearing away the memory and focusing on the here-and-now.
"Why were you two home so early?" he asked exasperatedly and led me into the living room. Robin, unfortunately, was still there and decided to answer for me.
"Poor young Caliban here made us leave. The big scary monsters were just too much for him." Niko raised his eyebrow quizzically, and silently told Loman to drop the sarcasm and explain. It's scary how good I've gotten at reading those looks.
"I took Cal to the theatre over on Salem Ave." Goodfellow said as if that explained it all. Which it apparently did, judging from the look on Nik's face.
"Ah," Niko said quietly. "And I assume he wasn't aware of its usual occupants." Robin shook his head, grinning mischievously. "Did anything go wrong?"
I decided it was my turn to talk. "Nothing happened really. There was just a small fight between some werewolves and we decided to get out before it turned serious." Niko nodded thoughtfully.
"I suppose now we have time to kill before we need to get going." We all looked up at the wall clock; it was just now seven o'clock. "Goodfellow, will you be staying for dinner?"
"As long as Cal isn't the one to cook it." I threw my shoe at him on the way to kitchen but Niko deflected it, before it could cause damage to the apartment, no doubt. After Niko had placed some kind of gross-looking veggie lasagna in the oven, we all sat around the table and Nik resumed his paper. Robin pulled out a comb and began messing with his hair as he asked, "So Cal, you said it was a Bogart you two are hunting tonight, correct?"
"Yeah, it'll be fun," I said with false cheerfulness. Niko didn't even grace me with a raised eyebrow.
"Do you know anything about them?" Goodfellow asked doubtfully.
"Yeah, sure. Niko does anyway," I amended. Goodfellow shook his head slowly. I could've sworn I heard him say something involving 'unknowledgeable child' and 'pitiful'. "I'm kidding. I know enough to get by on at least." What made him think he was allowed to doubt my ability to do research…?
"So you know that even though the internet says they are the same thing as boggles, they really aren't? And that in reality, they're just distant relatives to the boggles? Therefore making any way of killing a boggle useless on a Bogart?" he quizzed, testing the truth behind my statement.
"Yeah, sure I do…" I said nonchalantly looking anywhere but at Robin or my brother, both of whom were enjoying watching me squirm.
The oven buzzed just then and I slumped down in my chair, half out of relief and half out of dread for what Niko was now pulling out of the oven. "Saved by the bell," he said quietly, turning off the buzzer. I watched as he dumped a larger than necessary piece of lasagna on three plates and brought them to the table with some forks.
"Niko," I said pleadingly. "I promise it won't take me long; it is right at the corner of the block. They depend on my business to stay running; please!"
"Quit whining, Cal," Niko reprimanded. "You will not waste money on a chili-cheese dog when we have perfectly healthy food right here."
"Yes, but Nik 'perfectly healthy' isn't really the top priority in food for most people. 'Tasting edible' however…"
"And you actually think the greasy garbage you prefer can be counted as edible?" he retorted in a very un-Niko-like manner.
By this point Robin was unable to hold in his amusement. "Would you two shut up already?" he said, laughing. "Wow. You know, I have tried in the past to imagine Niko bickering with you, Cal, but never were able to. I didn't think it was a manageable feat for him to act his age, but finally I've had the pleasure to witness Niko act like a regular person."
"What are you going on about, Goodfellow?" Niko asked in annoyance. Robin just shook his head, still chuckling, and took his plate to the sink. As he was dumping the full plate of lasagna I could have sworn I heard him say "And there you are ladies and gentlemen: Niko Leandros. He really is just a regular guy, able to fight with his brother like a regular person. No samurais necessary. I believe a round of applause is in order."
Following Robin's example, I started toward the garbage disposal but Niko stopped me and pointed at my chair silently. I sighed and flopped back down. By the time I had choked down enough 'food' to satisfy my brother, Robin had made himself comfortable on the coach with a bottle of water and the remote control and Niko, in his bedroom with the door open, was down to only two or three weapons that needed to be stashed somewhere on his person. Just as I was about to suggest leaving those few at home Nik somehow, impossibly, managed to tie a knife to each wrist and a pistol to the side of his foot. I let out a small gust of amazed, and slightly amused, air.
Getting up, I headed over to where Niko was standing by his bed, slipping on his long coat. "Hey Cyrano, did you save any deadly toys for me?"
Ignoring the chance to reprimand me for considering the weapons 'toys', Niko nodded and pointed to his closet, a.k.a our sword-knife-and-all-things-sharp jackpot. After grabbing a select few I left and went to my room. From under the bed I pulled out one of the guns I had stored there and did the same from the closet and dresser. You never can have too many weapons. Looking around distractedly I called out in Niko's general direction, "Nik? Hey Niko!"
"What Cal?" he said calmly, if a bit exasperatedly as he came into the room. Grinning sheepishly I said at a normal volume, "Do you know where my coat is?"
"I'm sure what you meant to say is 'Do you know where I irresponsibly threw my coat down the last time I was finished wearing it?' Right? I put it in your closet."
"No you didn't; I already checked in there… See, nothing here," I said, flinging the doors open to show him. He stepped closer, eying the pile of discarded clothes on the floor in distaste then looking up to the almost-empty clothes rods pointedly. All that was on those were the few things Niko had put away for me… Oh. There it is. Niko stepped back again, looking satisfied. "Come out to the living room once you put your shoes on. You can deal with hanging your clothes up when we get back; there isn't enough time now." He walked out and I sat on the bed with a scowl creasing my forehead and a shoe occupying my hands.
Out in the living room I slipped my coat on and checked once more to see if all my guns and knives were still in place and secure. Niko was on the phone with Promise, probably to find out if she had obtained any more useful information about our next job. Apparently she had. "And you are sure that's all it takes?" he asked her, looking a bit more relaxed about this whole gig.
I looked over at Robin, who was also listening, and raised my eyebrows in question. He shrugged and turned back to listen to Niko's conversation. Niko hung up a moment later and slid his cell phone in his pocket. "Time to go, Cal. Do you have all your stuff?"
I nodded and waved goodbye to Robin. He nodded in acknowledgement and pressed play on whatever movie he was watching. As we walked toward the door I asked Niko what Promise had told him.
Closing the door behind us and starting down the stairs he answered, "All we have to do to get rid of thing is to drown it. Actually we don't even have to do that. Just get it completely wet, she said, and it will mellow out. Then tell it to leave the guy who called us alone; it will leave and not come back."
"Seriously? That's all it takes? Hopefully that won't reflect on how much he decides to pay us."
"I'll make it clear to him that it shouldn't." I grinned at the very Zen, Niko-ish way he said it.
When I saw the guy's house my worries of underpayment subsided. This professor was, by what I could tell, very well off. I stepped back as Niko knocked on the front door. I had learned that our little business went better if I became a silent figure in the background when it came to talking to customers. It appears that I wasn't exactly the most… eloquent person when it came to first impressions.
A man about sixty with brown, fading to gray hair and a thoughtful, scholarly look about him answered the door. He let us in and shook Niko's hand. Turning to me, he reached out his hand again. A bit startled, I shook it and took the seat he offered. I was kind of disconcerted; normally when I wanted to fade away I was more successful at it. Surprising me yet again, the grandfatherly man smiled and said in a quiet voice, "Hello, my name is Mr. Alvin Greenliy. I've never been very good at ignoring people; I find them just too fascinating to overlook." I swear if right at that moment ten or twenty little kids ran in, yelling 'Grandpa!' I wouldn't have been that shocked; this guy just looked like some Hallmark ad for family.
Even Niko seemed a little off as he cleared his throat and waited for the man to turn back to him. "Sir, we are here about the… the Bogart?" He phrased it as a question and Mr. Grandpa nodded. "Well it shouldn't take us long to get him out of here, so we'll get started. Can you tell us where you last saw him, Mr. Greenliy?"
"Oh sure, just follow me. I heard him rummaging around in the guest bedroom about a half hour ago." He led us down the hall and opened the door to a spacious light green room with a queen size bed by the window. From the closet the faint sounds of destruction could be heard. Niko and I started into the doorway of the room but before we could get farther than a few steps Mr. Grandpa spoke up hesitantly. "Excuse me, boys, can you wait just a minute?"
We both turned to face him and I started talking before Niko could get a word in. "Mr. Gra- eenliy, I'm afraid we need to get started. If we wait much longer, he may move on to a different room."
Mr. Grandpa stepped into the room as well and said persistently, "I understand, but well, can I please have a moment to say goodbye?" At our confused looks he continued. "I know Bogarts are major nuisances, and this one isn't any different, but the little guy has kind of grown on me in the past few weeks…" He looked to Niko hopefully. 'The little guy'; seriously?
Niko nodded once, almost jerkily and turned sideways to let Mr. Grandpa past. "All I ask is that you please don't open the closet door; just talk to him from in here so he doesn't escape. We'll be waiting right out in the hall." Niko motioned to me and we stepped just past the doorframe of the guest room.
From there we could here the crazy old man start his goodbye. "Hey there Gilbert. Can you hear me in there? I know we've had some fun times together in this old house, but it is time for you to go. I hope you don't take this too hard, it's nothing personal…"
Niko cleared his throat once again, and he had a slight glint in his eye. To keep from laughing I began a conversation, not meeting his eyes as I talked. "So how are we going to do this?"
Niko thought about it for a second then said, "Come with me; I have an idea." He led me down the hall a few feet, into the bathroom, and gave me instructions. "Wait here while I go get some bowls. Grab any towels you can find in here that aren't too expensive, just in case… Gilbert… puts up a fight." He left the room, as silent as air and I sifted through the cabinets, grabbing towels.
When Nik came back he had six large mixing bowls in his hands. "Let's start filling these up. He has two sinks in here, so we won't bother with the bathtub."
As we were filling up the last of the bowls I looked over at Niko, carefully avoiding the mirror as I did so, and asked him, "So what are the towels for?"
Picking up his half of the bowls, he motioned for me to do the same. As we walked slowly down the hall, carefully not spilling any water, he answered my question, sounding a little exasperated. "Well little brother, when you throw buckets of water at something the water tends to hit other things too. So we will open the closet door carefully, set blankets around the Bogart, wait for it to start shredding them, and dose it in water. Once the water takes affect, which should be immediately, we'll tell Gilbert that it's time to go. The blankets will be both a distraction and a way to shorten the clean-up process."
Once we stepped into the room, Mr. Grandpa left, looking sad and miserable. We offered reluctantly for him to stay, but he opted not to watch. He told us he'd be waiting with our money in the living room.
The job went exactly as Niko and I planned and the Bogart left looking confused and wet. We made sure that he went through the back door so no one would see him, but also so he wouldn't be going through the living room where Mr. Grandpa would see him. That, once we were sure he was gone, was where we went. Mr. Grandpa was waiting for us, just as he said, with our money. He thanked us and we left. On our way out the front door we heard some sad, slow oldies band playing in the background. I didn't look back once.
When we were safely on the bus headed home Niko relaxed a little and stretched his arms, staying ever-alert. "I glad to be done with that job," he said. "I don't see how someone could get so attached to a nuisance."
I didn't say anything about it until later, when we were back at the apartment and Robin was trying to get a show of annoyance out of Niko. He should have given up; I tried that all the time and Niko always won, but Robin was Robin. "I don't know, Nik. It seems like there are always nuisances and annoyances around. Mr. Grandpa, or Greenliy, whatever; he just happened to accept his little annoyance and I guess somewhere along the way got too attached to make it leave." A moment later I added, "Sounds a little familiar to me."
"I may not completely know what you two were talking about, Caliban, but I get the feeling I was just compared to a Bogart and I don't appreciate it!" Robin said indignantly.
"No of course not, Goodfellow. Cal," he emphasized, having noticed Robin's use of my full name. "was just comparing you to someone we met today. His name was Gilbert. And yes, I guess you're right," he said, glancing my way. "But don't let it get to your head; it doesn't happen much." I grinned. Robin looked back and forth between us then huffed and looked back at the T.V., fed up with the both of us.