Tali sat in the dark escape pod, illuminated only by a dim red light. The adrenaline from her escape from the Normandy was beginning to wear off. Her mind began to wander.
I wonder how many others made it out, she thought.
She was in a pod with Chief Adams and a few other engineers. Just like Commander Shepard assumed, Adams had performed remarkably given the circumstances. He and the crew tried their best to keep the Normandy running as long as possible, but immediately obeyed the evacuation order when it came. Nobody said a word in the pod, everyone trying to process what had just happened. The Normandy, their home away from home, had just been destroyed. Nervousness set in, and Tali began wringing her hands. Her mind raced through all the possible outcomes of their situation.
What if the Alliance can't find us? How long can we survive out here? Did Shepard make it out?
Her mind lingered on the Commander. She hoped everyone had made it out of the wreckage, but she hoped he made it out alive the most. He had always treated her with respect, which was abnormal behavior towards quarians. Most people were wary of quarians, and they had a reputation for thievery. Shepard was different though. If he had ever been wary of Tali, he didn't show it through his actions. That kind of attitude toward her had immediately gained Shepard her respect. Not only did he respect Tali, but he allowed to serve aboard the Normandy. Allowing a quarian to serve aboard a non-quarian ship was almost unheard of. Tali had been in awe of the ship's drive core, and cherished the opportunity to work on it. As if that wasn't enough, Shepard also allowed her to have a copy of classified data on geth evolution to use as a pilgrimage gift. Tali couldn't think of a more valuable gift, and he gave it to her without any reservations.
Shepard and Tali had become friends almost immediately. He would come down the the drive core to talk with her often. The Commander would make sure the rest of the crew was treating her right, ask her about quarian life and culture, and also seemed genuinely interested in hearing about her. Talking about herself always made Tali nervous, especially around non-quarians. Something about Shepard calmed her nerves however, and she always felt more comfortable when she was around him. She had accompanied him on countless missions because of her tech expertise, and saw how Shepard wholeheartedly cared about the safety and well-being of those under his command. Sometime during her time aboard the Normandy, Tali had developed a deep romantic interest in Shepard. She had been rescued from an ambush on the Citadel Wards by a dashing and heroic commander, who invited her to join him on his quest to save the galaxy. How could Tali not develop feelings for him? She never told him though, every time she thought of bringing it up during conversation her anxiety would run wild. Tali convinced herself that Shepard only saw her as a valued crew member and close friend, nothing more. Her feelings for him never lessened, though. If Shepard hadn't survived the Normandy's destruction, she would never be able to tell him how she really felt and see if he felt the same way.
Tali's thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Joker's voice on the pod's short range transmitter.
"This is Joker", the familiar voice said, "how many other pods escaped?"
Liara checked in, and reported who was in her pod. Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko did the same with his pod, as did Adams and the rest. An eerie silence fell over all the pods, one name in particular was missing from everyone's count.
Finally breaking the silence, Kaidan's voice came over the transmitter, "Joker, is Commander Shepard with you?"
Joker hesitated for a moment, struggling to find his voice.
"Commander Shepard…", he could barely get the words out, "Shepard… didn't make it. He… died… making sure I…"
Joker couldn't finish, a wave of guilt and grief crashed over the normally wise-cracking pilot. He broke down and started sobbing.
All the survivors were in shock. Nobody said anything, there were no words to describe what they were all feeling. Some crew members started crying, others just sat there, unable to process what they had just heard. Commander Shepard was gone. The only man that could've possibly filled the hole left by Captain David Anderson's departure. The man who they had all come to know and deeply respect. The savior of the Citadel, who defeated Sovereign, Saren, and the geth. To those survivors, Shepard wasn't just their commander, he was their friend. He wasn't supposed to go out like this. Shepard deserved better. Instead, he was killed by an unknown ship during a meaningless mission. However, they knew Shepard died fulfilling his duty. He gave his life to make sure Joker was able to keep his. Shepard died the same way he lived, caring about the safety and well-being of his crew.
In the engineering crew's pod, everyone was taking the news hard. Adams buried his face in his hands, distraught at what he just heard. The other engineers were feeling the same grief. However, it was Tali who was taking it the hardest. She was hit by a painful mixture of sadness and anger. She muted her helmet's voice output so the others wouldn't be aware of how much of a mess she was. Tali's body language, however, made it obvious how she was reacting. Her whole chest sagged with each sob that escaped her body. Her shining eyes, normally visible through her visor, were absent, as tears streamed from her closed eyelids. Tali cried because Shepard was taken away from her and the crew by an unknown enemy while on a useless mission. She lost the only man she had ever developed any kind of romantic feelings for. She was angry with herself that Shepard had died unaware of the feelings she had for him, because she was too scared to tell him. Now Tali would never get that chance, and she had to live with it.