A/n: Okay so with the extra time I have today after typing up a paper of the Battle of the Bulge, I decided to finally type up the second chapter while listening to Asian Kung fu Generation or radioblogclub(not that you need to know but it's 'twelve')
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or its affiliates. Nor do I own any other copy written things in this fiction.
Chapter 2
High Hopes for a Plotline
Climbing onto a teetering pile of books, Flitwick turned to face the boys.
"I want both of you to beat off the crowd and collect me one of those complimentary pretzels!"
Harry's eye twitches, as did Draco's hand. If it were a teacher, Draco would say . . . ah, but it was. . . .
"Yes, Professor," he drawled in sickeningly sweet voice.
Harry rolled his eyes and nodded quietly. This was not something he wanted to do today of all days. Not only was he depressed, horny and hard nippled, but he had stayed up late, spanking his screaming monkey. Well, technically, it was Ron's screaming monkey. It always ended up in his socks just when he needed a sock!!
"After you procure me a pretzel boys," Professor Flitwick licked his lips in anticipation. "I want you to go and hide it in a cupboard—you know which one. The one with all the teetering shelves, stacked high with all sorts of goodies that could create a wonderful boy's love situation."
Draco jumped. "I am not going to go all yaoi of Potter's face, Professor!!" He complained.
"Mr. Malfoy." Flitwick was all anime'd with his hands on his hips. "I said boy's love, not hardcore mansex. Who do you think I am?" He giggled. "And I only assumed because your pants have been spreading your . . . er . . . joy . . . for quite some time now!!"
Harry stared at Draco. Well, it was more like he was spacing out and was staring at the nearest thing to him to make it appear as though he were listening.
Butt, as he was doing so, Harry caught Draco's pale cheeks brightening in embarrassment as he hurled his britches to their rightful place on his wais. When Draco noticed Harry's prying eyes, he light up even more like a feminine napkin, than he thought he had in his entire life.
"Now get going boys, before the line gets too long! It's free pretzel day, bitches!!!"
Flitwick jostled Harry and Draco from the room and slammed the door, locking it. Finding that not too odd at all, Draco and Harry began wandering the halls.
"You," Draco began. "Didn't see anything, did you Potter?"
Harry blinked. It was refreshing after abstaining for a week.
"You mean the bright orange thong from Ross?" he mused.
"It's from Victoria's Secret!! Thank you very much!!" Draco stammered his hand next to Harry's ear on the wall behind the boy who couldn't recognize a good quality pair of man panties. Narrowing Harry's eyes, Draco poked Harry's cornea in the process and narrowed his own eyes. "Don't mock me Potter, I have money." He paused, smirking as Harry rubbed his eyes. "And you know that screaming monkey right now? That's mine."
Harry brushed off Draco, fighting away his embarrassment.
Sfd ghkfdguhgjdf!!!!!!!
Suddenly, a monkey swung through the air on a trapeze, screaming the German national anthem, Das Lied der Deutschen in false soprano.
Harry ducked. Meaning he threw a duck in the monkey's path in an attempt to knock it off course, buttt the monkey was immune to aerial fowl attacks.
The monkey's hand feet collided with his chest, sending him flying backwards into Malfoy's bathtub. As he struggled out of the lukewarm toilet water, something behind him began to make a strange, rumbling noise.
Draco peered over Harry's shoulder, eyes wide as statue after statue and priceless Ming vase after priceless Ming vase topped onto the pair. A terrible cracking noise erupted into their ear drums as the floor beneath them split open.
" Potter!!!" Reverberated in the empty hall as Harry and Pot—I mean Draco fell into the dark recesses of floor whatever floor they were on at the time.
A/n: yep. I didn't answer the all important question. But will someday. Doncha know. O.o