Kyushiki Naruto
By ______
Chapter Two: Shigan!
After having taken a boat ride that should have been entirely unnecessary as ninja could literally walk on water, the intrepid team of untrained genin arrived in Wave. Of course there really wasn't much to see, given the dense forest growth and morning fog, but then again they weren't there for sightseeing were they?
It was about this time that Sakura roused herself. She had a lingering moment of bliss, being carried piggy-back style by someone, her head resting lightly on thick, silky hair that smelled slightly of old books, ramen and the forests of Konohagakure. Then Outer-Sakura heard Inner-Sakura coo something about true love and how sweet, which bolted her awareness all the way into panicking range.
There was only a single thing in this world that could make Inner-Sakura coo, subject matter notwithstanding.
She froze in terror, finding that the situation was every bit as bad as she feared. She was being carried by her blond teammate, her cheek nestled against his surprisingly soft hair. Not only that, his inexplicably callous-free hands were cupping her bottom and forcing her to press her torso against his back! The pervert!
Inner-Sakura snorted and asked how else someone was suppose to carry an unconscious, stick-figure of a teammate. She then narrated a fantasy of him actually fondling their rear, with their shorts removed, and lamented the fact that they lacked large, cushy breasts to press against him right now. Somewhere around when the persona started threatening her outer aspect about what she'd do if her trivial diets stunted their chest's development, Sakura snapped back into awareness.
"Na-Ru-To!" Bam.
Inner-Sakura exploded into violent cursing, reminding Outer-Sakura that her Naruto was still injured. An injury he got saving Outer-Sakura's ungrateful butt. At the very least that gave him rights to fondle it a little.
Despite the surprise blow to the back of the head, Naruto only wobbled a step, careful not to drop the pinkette until his footing was normal again. Not that he dropped her then either, unless you consider gently placing someone on their feet to be dropping, in which case he dropped her very carefully.
"Are you okay, Sakura-chan?" The blond genin immediately asked after she was standing on her own again.
"Hmph." As if Sakura was going to acknowledge the pervert after he'd taken advantage of her while she was unconscious for who knows how long.
"Sakura-cha-" The blond cut himself off suddenly, whirling towards a specific tree. "Rankyaku!"
The blue energy blade impacted the trunk, cutting a deep notch into it before exploding, leaving a wide diagonal rut. A terrified white rabbit hopped forward as though surrendering.
"Baka!" Bam. "How could attack this poor, defenseless little bunny?" Sakura demanded, cuddling the still traumatized rabbit.
Inner-Sakura cursed again, called her outer aspect a twit and pointed out that the hare in question had a pure white winter coat and it was summer. The rabbit was raised to be used in substitution jutsu! What kind of sicko would go through that much trouble when any piece of junk lying nearby would do instead of endangering another living thing? And why on earth would you want to carry a normal white rabbit into battle with you? A vorpal bunny sure, but an ordinary snow hare?
Kakashi came to the same conclusion at about the same time, though without the rabbit raising issues and with his thoughts on the matter tempered by the sound of a blade whistling through the air. "Get down!" The jounin shouted, diving over their client.
"Tekkai!" Naruto had a tough life. In an odd way, this simple fact was what had allowed him to master the skills he currently had. Running away as if his life depended on it, which it often did, on a daily basis had greatly accelerated his soru and geppou training, in turn letting him focus on the next abilities up. But ultimately the skill he was best at, the one that had gotten the most practice in the end was tekkai. First against the force of drunken civilians, then, once he could escape civilians without a problem, against the strength of chunin and their kunai and finally against the power of a jounin and his katana, fearing the kyuubi's influence some days after the chunin failed.
Each event had injured him but each event also set a precedence. Had his attackers not announced their intent or aimed for less protected vitals he wouldn't be here today. As it was, an lesser sword brought to bare against him was more likely to snap than pierce.
Kubikiri was no lesser sword. It was forged by the sword smiths of Kirigakure for the express purpose of being a legendary, world famous weapon. In most regards it fell short of that goal, but it remained one of the master works of the most practiced makers of heavy, oversized blades in the elemental countries. While not the deadliest or sharpest zanbato, it was by far the sturdiest and, outside of Samehada, also the heaviest.
Likely, even with tekkai in place, the best Naruto could hope for when clashing with the weapon was the be cut to the bone and have a groove forcefully notched into said bone. Of course that was working on the assumption that he knew how to stick his feet to the ground.
With a clank strangely reminiscent of metal striking metal the massive sword hit the genin's braced arms with full force, lifting the genin into the air and flinging him backwards into a tree while the weapon itself veered harshly, spinning off course and burying itself halfway into the loamy soil of wave country. Zabuza, who had already jumped to land on the weapon's hilt by then, landed awkwardly in a bush of poison ivy, managing to keep his footing only by grabbing the tree for support.
His wrist was promptly seized by the rattled but unhurt genin who had also hit the tree.
"Tekkai." The shinobi in safety orange shouted again, instantly freezing up.
The nuke-nin didn't particularly care, or at least he didn't until he realized his hand was caught fast and the brat's fingers were, while not too tightly gripping him, completely locked in place. His response was to rear back his free arm and deliver a powerful blow straight on the kid's nose.
Now, when he thought of a powerful blow, it was more in lines of flesh versus flesh or flesh versus training log, so he was unprepared when it turned out to be closer to flesh versus wrought iron statue. Solid wrought iron statue, including the traditionally fragile nose. And so, Zabuza, demon of the mist, A-ranked missing nin and attempted usurper of a kage nearly broke his own hand fighting a genin on their first C-ranked mission, one month after being instated.
While the nuke-nin cried out in pain, Naruto shifted to the offensive, rearing back one leg again. Zabuza caught the slight shift of grip, indicating the muscles were no longer locked and immediately broke the surprisingly flimsy hold.
"Rankyaku." The legs swept forward just as the target fled back towards his weapon, narrowly evading the blue lash as it sailed into another tree.
Tugging his weapon free and watching the resultant damage of the brat's strange jutsu, the feared former mist-nin decided it was time to hide. "Kiimphhr mm 'utsu." The man cried out in muffled, completing the Kirigakure no jutsu and flooding the area with thick, rolling fog.
"Hitosochi." Using the cover provided, the blond hopped in place, his arms angled oddly, promptly vanishing the moment he landed from the third bounce.
One would assume that having a rotted, semi-legible tome would be a disadvantage when trying to develop a fighting style written in it. True, if exact recreation was the goal, it would be a rather great handicap, but when you're Naruto Uzumaki and neither libraries nor bookshops are accessible thanks to civilians running them, you work with what you have on hand.
In this particular case, that was for the best. There was no move called Hitosochi in 'The Tales Of Kumadori The Lion'. There was nothing even close to it except for the Umisenken from 'Mighty PandaMan Genma!', which was mostly because Naruto had read that volume and figured that Hitosochi should work the same way when he invented it.
In truth the entirety of Hitosochi came from just one scene that was so illegible the boy never understood exactly what was going on. In it Fukurou hid from some evil and vile 'Franky Battler 36' using a step technique. In an undamaged version, the reader would see that it was a gag using the incredible speed of Soru to fake invisibility. In Naruto's version it appeared that Fukurou the Silent, Lover of Rumors, used an actual invisibility technique and then was hunted down when he started talking. Even heroes had their flaws.
Of course, something from 'Mighty PandaMan Genma!' should work about as well as something from 'Tales Of Kumadori The Lion', but when there's an entire village out on an annual 'fox hunt' chasing you, things like physical impossibility aren't particularly important.
"Nm fmmick whm!" Zabuza screamed in muffled, swinging his blade at where the brat last stood in a wide arch, hoping he was still within reach.
Nothing. And then...
"Rankyaku!" The blond genin reappeared, standing on the flat of his blade, one leg already reared back.
The former mist jounin nearly broke his spine leaning away from the kid's attack. If he had eyebrows, they would now be missing.
The blue wave struck the scratched hitai-ate on its side, exploding in a burst of concussive force the moment it stopped slicing, sending the large man reeling to the ground.
But A-rank wasn't something awarded haphazardly, even after taking a blow to the forehead Zabuza was still in practically top form. He rolled backwards with the strike, twisting his zanbato to rid it of its passenger while performing half-signs with his off hand. Six new Zabuza appeared in a ring around where the brat should have landed. They would take care of whatever the kid might do. Hopefully.
And by the time he turned around, it was all but too late.
There were these scarce, peaceful moments that allowed a missing-nin to reflect back, through the years with an odd clarity the nuke-nin in question typically lacked in life. Often, for ones such as Momochi Zabuza, these moments came at entirely inappropriate times, such as when one was staring down a shrieking, crackling bluish bolt of energy that was all but guaranteed to rip his heart from his very chest. You'd think he would have heard something that trying to sneak up on him.
At that moment, seeing his death sweeping forward with a glaring Sharingan to guide it, he came to a profound conclusion.
He shouldn't have tried to usurp the Mizukage just for assigning him a team of genin. Honestly, what had he been thinking? He should have just taught the brats to be more like him or let them die horrible deaths on their first mission. It was just simpler that way and left so much more time to prepare. Hell, there was a chance they could have turned out like Haku.
Man, all those years fleeing from hunter-nin seemed so pointless and wasted now.
The icy mirror that suddenly sprang to life between the two jounin was a mixed blessing for both. On one hand it prevented the attack from running home, on the other it revealed that there was another competitor present with a stake in saving the nuke-nin.
When something swept down from the trees above, crashing gracelessly through the branches, he'd had enough. The nuke-nin leapt aside just in time to see the blond genin his clones should have killed by now impact the ground he'd been standing on with enough force to both shatter the mirror when it hit his shins and still partially bury him, the bright yellow hair clearly sharpened into needles.
A missing-nin doesn't survive by being reckless and Zabuza had been a missing-nin for a very long time by non-Akatsuki standards. Stupid immortals skewing the averages...
Despite how many might think of him, he was a very cautious man. If possible he'd only fight a battle where he knew he'd win. At worst he'd try all the way up to even odds, beyond that it was time to flee.
The current odds were clearly not in his favor. He'd had Haku spy on the demon brothers when they made their attempt, on some level hoping they'd at least survive and could be recovered later. When they'd been killed by genin he'd been forced to dissect what his pet kunoichi had seen from as many angles as possible. In the end he chalked it up to a combination of bad luck and skilled genin.
Unlike the demon brothers, Haku had been angled at a perspective that let her see Naruto reappear, labeling at least one of his abilities as a mastered shunshin instead of what it truly was. The Uchiha was obviously some kind of taijutsu freak sadist and the pink-haired kunoichi a genjutsu using cheerleader/fangirl. Skilled genin, taught by Sharingan-Kakashi after all, but still limited to the high-end of expectations. If he neutralized Kakashi his clones could kill them at his leisure.
Only the blond brat didn't use a mastered, but still detectable shunshin. Well he might, while unprecedented there were genin with multiple skills mastered so early in their career. But that really wasn't the point. The point was the brat was obviously a taijutsu specialist and not the ninjutsu specialist he'd expected. From there, knowing the typical organization of Konoha genin assault/heavy combat teams, it wasn't hard to envision the other two as equally skilled at their respective crafts, one being ninjutsu and the other genjutsu. The thing was, that meant the Uchiha brat had killed a chunin using only taijutsu when he was specializing in another field. Add to that that his field was unknown and the girl had yet to be seen doing anything, then boost both of them level to at least near chunin in their non-specialized fields...
These weren't genin! Dammit, this had to be a trap of some kind. Was Konoha after his bounty or just trying to put Wave in their pocket?
The blond rose to his feet, totally unharmed and ready to fight, his sensei a vague silhouette unfurling a scroll some scant meters behind him.
Zabuza attributed it to luck that the remaining gen... chunin were staying out of the fight, likely in some stupid formation to try and cover their client. They'd be an inexcusable distraction while fighting Kakashi and would tear Haku apart if he had her face them alone while he dealt with the other jounin. And for the time being Haku was far to valuable to throw away to get through one mission.
Heh, that settled that though, Konohagakure was going to turn Wave into a vassal state. There's no other reason to send such a powerful squad for the amount the bridge-builder could offer.
For a brief moment his reputation and pride warred with his survival instincts. On one hand, it'd be known that he had failed and pretty much the only reason you hired a high-paid nuke-nin was because you had a guarantee that the job would get done. On the other, ditching a suicidal mission was a perk to Kiri-nuke-nins. If the Mizukage assigned you a suicide mission, you either succeeded and were forgiven for whatever you did to piss him off or died, whether by the mission or the Kirigakure hunter-nin after you for dereiliction of duty a few days later. Course, death is death so arguing over details like what killed any particular Kiri-nin was the sort of nit-picking that got you sent on a suicide mission.
The Mizukage isn't a very popular boss, what with the civil wars, repeated kekkei genkai slaughters and nihilistic murdering of subordinates.
Then again, nobody really wanted an Uchiha to lead them, not even other Uchiha. Just at what Itachi had done at the idea of an Uchiha Hokage!
If only Kirigakure had thought to include Konohagakure's 'no Uchiha kage' clause is their own charter...
With a simple gesture he instructed his subordinate to flee, closely following her while unleashing denser mist jutsu in his wake. If anyone knew Gato hired him and he failed his reputation was ruined, but if Gato were to be killed by 'Konoha-nins', no one would associate it with him. Especially if the man's thugs and records weren't left around to dispute the claim.
...Hell, thinking along those lines, he'd been trying to save enough money to build his own hidden village. Sea country sounded like a nice, quiet area to start collecting the mist kekkei genkai users to. If he was ever close to that much funding, it was in Gato's mansion. He chided himself for not realizing this sooner.
Heh, who knows, Konoha might actually be grateful.
"Yo-yo-yo! That's right villainous assassins! Flee from Naruto the great, future Hokage! Yo-yo-yo!" Naruto laughed at the nuke-nins' retreating backs in a stylized gloating pose. Or at least to the open air twenty-seven degrees off from their retreating backs, the mist made it kind of hard to judge.
"...Well, that went well." Kakashi noted, rolling up his scroll lazily before taking out an orange book. It certainly was nice to have no debilitating injuries after two ambushes, though the fact that Sasuke was still Sharingan-less was inconvenient. But a nuke-nin like Zabuza survived only through a reputation of success, he'd be back, probably with a better strategy. Unfortunately that meant he'd need to train Sasuke in order for him to survive long enough to activate his eyes.
Sigh, what to do? What to do? Hmm... Tree-walking was basic, right? After having been a ninja since the age of five, the early training methods were a little fuzzy. Wasn't there something with a leaf before that? ...Nah.
Books are, by their very nature, subject to the times and languages they are published in. Often, when translating something from a far off land into a more easily understood, localized version, errors are made as the translator relates aspects within to things found in their own, everyday lives.
It would be quite easy, for instance, to transform trained assassins into ninja, even when the assassins in question had basically nothing in common. And all it would really take to get a local reader to relate more readily to the storyline, was a few minor alterations that had no baring on the plot and a quick entry among the other moves at the end to bridge the cultural gap.
Thus was hanetacchi born through the mind of an Elemental nations translator. The editor in question had gone out of his way some decades before the founding of Konohagakure and tried to decipher just how ninja could walk up walls and cling to surfaces. Naturally, the ninja questioned all told him exaggerations about the power of chakra control in hopes of garnering greater acknowledgment of their craft and a higher volume of mission contracts for their clans.
The editor loyally recorded the most agreed upon traits.
At its lowest level the invented move allowed its user to cling to surfaces, walk on water and do all those other little tricks ninja were commonly seen doing.
At its highest level it allowed a light tap from one finger to destroy an entire castle, a brush against a target to stop their heart and a poke or two to cure any ailments the human body could suffer from.
Naturally the editor then claimed it was the most difficult to master skill, despite every single one of the elite assassins knowing it well enough to casually stand or walk on walls or water. To the editor it was no big deal and nobody actually paid too much attention to the text to notice the inconsistencies, such as when Lucci states he'd sink like a stone no matter what before running across the surface of the water to get back from ship to tower.
Most peasants were illiterate back then anyway.
Yet, in the impressionable mind of young Naruto the idea sank and festered.
And that's why he balked when their sensei tried to teach them tree-walking without undergoing the hours of 'harmonious meditation' his notes recommended.
It didn't help that Sakura got it on her first try, though the resulting praise did make Inner-Sakura very pleased... Right up until Outer-Sakura socked him and started another tirade.
It also didn't help when Kakashi, hearing Naruto's complaints and then considering Tsunade, the Rasengan and the Jyuuken, agreed that you could indeed perform such impossible acts with little more than chakra control.
Still, his sensei said it was possible to achieve the basics of the technique without meditating for hours and, being Naruto, running up the side of a tree for days only to fall off over and over again was certainly seen as a better, faster way to learn. After all, it took Naruto four or five hours to actually fall into a meditative trance and about a hour to fall asleep from that trance, so logging in any meditation time was pretty much impossible for him.
Still, throwing yourself from great heights was part of learning another move and at the very least it'd give him some practice before finding a cliff overlooking the ocean.
The week passed disturbingly quiet and peacefully, and by the time the bridge was completed everyone's nerves were on edge, expecting... something at least. Some form of interference or offensive from Gato.
None came. Even his ships seemed to disappear from the surrounding waters.
So it came to pass that a sullen Kakashi, a cheery Sakura, a moderately happy Sasuke and an over-energized Naruto set out to return to their home village, each so caught up in their own thoughts about 'still no Sharingan', 'Sasuke/Naruto-kun's in a good mood today, squee!', 'nice to get attention for something I actually did' and 'I know the hanetacchi, I know the hanetacchi' to even spare a bit of attention towards the former Kiri-nin and side-kick sneaking away with millions of stolen ryo less than a hundred yards from them.
Sometime later the two groups arrived at their destinations, Kakashi and his genin returning to report a complete success, no casualties to a slightly disappointed Hokage and Zabuza and his charge to a secret missing-nin lab on a much feared island officially owned by Orochimaru. After killing or recruiting the squatters and purchasing it through the missing-nin network, the new leader of Shimagakure set about making his village name known...
Hmm... How does a village become famous anyway? Which of course put him on the unfortunate path of sending a team to the next chunin exams.
But Zabuza is only a supporting character, so let's get back to our main focus.
Hinata was many things, most of which made her an irresistible target for tentacled beasts from beyond.
She was shy, a noble's daughter bordering on princess, liked to avoid most other people and areas that other people were likely to wander into by chance during a heated encounter of the tentacly kind, blushed a lot, was underaged yet impressively bustier than most adults, the equivalent of a ninja schoolgirl in a Japanese themed setting, had a 'super power' that had potential for perverted use and was just the sort to easily submit to anyone's deviancies provided they could fabricate a mostly believable Naruto-form.
Unfortunately she wasn't actually a 'magical girl' perse and that same 'power with potential perverted uses' allowed her to see through almost any attempt to imitate Naruto, excusing commandeering his body wholesale which left you with a demon lord Kyuubi to deal with.
Besides that, they'd have to find her first.
Yes, few things made one quite as sneaky as a love-struck stalker girl who routinely kept up with, and out of sight from, a hyper active blond capable of moving faster than even her eyes could follow, turning invisible and leaping off of air itself. Where a more normal Hinata might stand in a corner and try to avoid eye contact from behind her teammates, this Hinata could seemingly vanish into thin air the moment any watching jounin blinked. And she frequently did instead of standing around pretending she didn't exist.
Which made it fortunate she was teamed up with two scent-based trackers as Naruto was convinced her lavender and vanilla scent was just a natural feature of Konohagakure, given how often he'd smelt it everywhere he went. Unlike sight, sound and, crimson blush, touch she'd never needed to compensate for how she smelled.
And so Kiba and Shino were on her tail, with a bemused Kurenai following them. All she'd done was absently mention team 7 was scheduled to return today, trying to lift the poor girl's flagging enthusiasm, and poof! No more Hinata.
Which is all just a segue leading up to them standing beside the distraught kunoichi, watching as the blond systematically broke his fingers on a training log.
"Shigan!" Crunch. "Shigan!" Crunch. "Shigan!" Ka-Thump. "Eh? I did it! Yo-yo-y..." Thud.
And also get to witness the horrors of what happens when you get a training log stuck on your index finger and then tried to cheer by flinging your arms above your head.
Shino... well, blinked isn't exactly the right term, but expresses the sentiment behind his inaction. "Did he just perform the Jyuuken?"
"A,ano..." Hinata trailed off, not entirely sure of what that was. She'd seen him practicing the 'shigan' ever since he mastered tekkai, but it'd never punctured the training log before.
"Come on, let's get the idiot to the hospital." Kiba grumbled, Akamaru yipping in agreement from on top of his head.
"Ara." Hinata muttered softly, fidgeting.
"Heh, who knows, you might even get to have a moment alone while he's still asleep." Kiba threw in, shoving the log off the KO'd ninja.
"Aru...?" Hinata gurgled, turned red and passed out.
"Kiba." Shino reprimanded, adjusting his glasses ominously.
Kurenai just sighed in disgust. A kunoichi was suppose to be independent and strong, she'd thought she'd lucked out and gotten the one non-fangirl in the lot but Hinata was even worse than Sakura or Ino. Well, as far as her crush being a weakness that is.
Sakura woke up and decided today was a nice day. Yes, today was definitely the day Sasuke would finally realize that she was his only true love and the only one he could possibly want to restart the Uchiha clan with. After all, her hair was the most fearsome color, apocalypse pink, rivaled only by piratanical orange and demonanical red as color most feared by ninja. In fact its terrifying color might be what was driving him away! Why hadn't she thought of that before, it was so obvious a shy and misunderstood orphan like him would balk at the thought of asking her out while he hair practically screamed 'dangerous'.
Having come to this realization, Sakura rushed to the nearest saloon, briefly puzzled over the drunks, and then proceeded to a nearby salon to see about dying.
Unfortunately she bumped into someone very interested in the other type of dying. Well, into might be an overstatement as it was more bounced off a sand shield than anything else. But the important thing was that she had their attention.
Dead teal eyes gaze blankly at her as the suna-nin slowly rasped in a low and ominous voice created by being way too close to sand for pretty much an entire lifetime. "You, you attacked... me?" The eyes glowed briefly, a burnt umber shade as a four pointed star appeared within them.
"G, Gaara, this, this really isn't the time or place for-" A blond girl with a giant fan started, backing off the instant she saw the eyes.
"Sakura-chan! Sakura-chan, guess what?" Naruto broke the tension appearing so suddenly even Shakaku was given pause. "I got shigan, isn't that awesome? Yo-yo-yo!"
"N,Naruto... look behind you..." The fearsome haired girl whimpered.
"Eh?" However unusual, a request from his true love was a request from his true love. Finding himself eye to eye with what was assuredly a demon of some sort, he did what he'd long rehearsed. "Y,yoi yoi. How truly frightening. This terror, this fear... You are a truly worthy foe. I think I'm beginning to like you." Reciting the short, paraphrased monologue was mostly bravado in face of the monster wearing human skin before him, but at least it helped him get into stance.
In contrast to all expectations, the dead, evil eyes instantly cleared to a brighter teal that slowly faded back their original, dull shade. "Temari. You are going to marry this man." The dread voice commanded suddenly as the suna-nin swept away, sand flowing around him in agitation.
"What!" The blond kunoichi shrieked before quieting herself and demurely accepting out of fear.
"What!" Inner-Sakura cried, raging against the world in general and her Outer aspect specifically.
"What?" Outer-Sakura blinked, utterly lost.
"Yo-yoi?" Naruto tilted his head, fairly sure that was the point his foe was suppose to smash him into the ground. Then his eyes caught the sand. "Suna-suna-no-mi..."
Shakaku, already having settled himself in drunken remembrance shivered as another memory surfaced, a memory of being trapped inside a fruit and set adrift upon the open seas. Caught up in his nightmarish reminiscing, he completely forgot he was suppose to be messing with his host and making him kill things right now.
"Mother's silent." Gaara noted as Temari ran to catch up with him.
"You mean..." The kunoichi trailed off, having no clue what-so-ever about any possible significance that could have.
Gaara simply nodded, believing the girl who'd never heard a voice in her head understood the immensity of a voice that never shut up quieting down.
"S,Sakura? Did I just..." Naruto trailed off, sharing a blond moment with Temari as he had no idea what just happened.
"You just got engaged." The pinkette murmured in agreement, Outer Sakura trying to puzzle out why the extremely scary suna-nin had just left while Inner Sakura frantically tried to do something, anything, to reach Naruto.
"Yo-yoi?" There was a moment as Naruto thought that over. "Gah! B,but Sakura-chan, I, you..."
Sakura beamed, seeing the perfect opportunity before her. "I'm happy for you. Congratulations. Make her happy."
Inner-Sakura shrieked in despair as her Outer aspect had their body step away from the one they truly loved, leaving him with apparent approval to pursue that awful harpy from Sunagakure. Why was her Outer aspect such an ungrateful bitch?
#Author's Notes#
Haku is a girl. The closest she is ever allowed to being male is the version in 'Sad Life Deserves More', which is to say 98-99% female. May no bishounen crossdressers ever blight your manga. So mote it be.
Except when it's funny.
Or involves Jusenkyo.
Oh and PandaMan is still One Piece canon, take a closer look, he's everywhere. We don't really know his name or story, so I'm going with 'Genma' and 'on a quest to train his son to be the ultimate martial artist'.
I'd also like to say that while Kakashi was indeed bias towards Sasuke, I doubt it had as much effect as most people attribute it as having. At least in terms of ninja skills. Sasuke was top of his class in a year composed mostly of clan heirs, so he essentially had a head start yet under Kakashi's training keeps tying with Naruto at various points. And despite portrayals to the contrary in fandom, he does appear to apply and push himself to master new skills presented to him, not to the same levels as Naruto, but still enough that if he was receiving 'competent' training as opposed to Naruto's 'self' he'd be much farther ahead.
The point I'm trying to make is that outside of reenacting moves for others to copy, Kakashi sucks as a teacher. On some level that's even how he taught tree-walking and until Sasuke awoke his Sharingan, there was no perceivable advancement of himself in comparison to his teammates. I'd even go so far as to suggest that on some level he was correct in fleeing to Orochimaru for training as it's made obvious Kakashi is a crappy teacher who can't bring out any of his student's true potential. Even the inept training style Jiraiya uses gets better results and his student had no grasp of the basics when that training started.
In short, even if Sasuke does get all his teacher's attention and special training sessions, it isn't necessarily doing him any good if the teacher can't really teach. Yeah it sucks for his teammates in someways, but if his teachings are incompetent and incomprehensible then self-training might actually benefit them... Which gives me an idea...
Sorry, ranted a bit there.
Say, did anyone else notice in the anime that they say 'too much and the bark breaks, too little and you slip off' yet Sasuke kept breaking the bark under his foot and Naruto kept sliding off? Now, I don't know about Sasuke, but since Naruto's poor control was from having too much chakra, shouldn't the bark have been snapping under his foot? And that never actual actually bugged me until just now.
Ano – That Over There
Ara – Oh, Ah or Flaw/Defect
Aru – To live, To be, To have or A certain...
All of which are used incorrectly in fanfiction as things shy people say instead of spitting out what they want to say. At least here they can be taken at one of their literal values.
Mind you, I can totally see a shy person randomly saying 'that over there' to try and draw attention off themselves or using the trailing off 'A certain...' when trying to bring up their feelings. And I'm probably going to use them incorrectly elsewhere anyway...