The wait until Lily saw James Potter again was nearly unbearable. Not just for Lily but maybe even Dorcas, to whom Lily had been prattling on for days about James.

"Do you think he likes to read? I wonder if he would like 'Navigator, Baker and Clockmaker'," Lily said, referencing one of her favourite novels, an autobiography of a man who lived in the kingdom a hundred years ago who had gone through a series of dramatic career changes.

Lily found the anecdotes contained in the novel to be intriguing and heartwarming. Lily liked novels based on true stories. Lily wondered if she counted as a true story. What was it that made a story true?

"I've never met the boy, Lily. And you barely know him for that matter," Dorcas said.

"I could lend him my copy," Lily continued.

Dorcas groaned, letting herself fall back onto Lily's bed in apparent exasperation.

Lily turned and smiled at her friend.

"I'm sorry. It's just… been a long time since I've made any new friends. I only want to get to know them better. I want to do it right," Lily said.

Dorcas shook her head and laughed, making a face as if someone had just referenced an inside joke.

"What?" Lily said.

"Nothing. I'll explain it to you some other time," Dorcas said.

Lily frowned and shrugged. Sometimes Dorcas seemed to enjoy watching Lily figure things out for herself. It was charming in a frustrating sort of way.

James Potter knocked on Lily's door exactly seven days from the last time she saw him. When she opened the door she was briefly caught off guard by his new bespectacled appearance and far finer state of dress than when she last saw him. He was wearing a nice dark-blue dress shirt and black slacks, clothing far finer than could be purchased on the island.

"Hello," Lily said, warmly but James just stood there slack jawed as if he'd just had a stunning revelation.

Lily's mouth twitched in a nervous smile, waiting for a response.

"I'm sorry. I just… hadn't seen you with my glasses on before," James said and Lily felt herself blush.

"Won't you come inside," Lily said, gesturing behind her.

"I was hoping you might walk along the beach with me, actually. It's far too nice out to be inside," James said.

Lily nodded and locked her door. Lily was wearing her favourite white summer dress, that showed a bit more skin than most of her other dresses. It consisted of a single piece, with the thin straps going over her shoulders connecting to fabric that covered all but the tops of her bosoms and stopped just above her knees. For a hot day like this, it was especially ideal. She had sewn it herself.

Her sandals were becoming wore down, on the other hand. She was going to have consider getting them repaired soon as even on the beach they were feeling uncomfortable.

Lily followed James down the path to the beach and walked alongside him. The breeze was slight and the sun felt harsh on her skin. But the company made up for any discomfort.

"I miss the water," James said.

"What do you mean? It's right there," Lily said.

"I miss being on the water. Don't get me wrong: I'm a terrible sailor. Dreadful, really. But I just got so used to being on the water. It's like I'm missing something. I feel naked," James said and Lily resisted the urge to remind him that she knew what it actually looked like when he was naked.

"I suppose I can understand that. I'm so used to the sound of the waves and the gulls that I can't imagine what it would be like without them," Lily admitted.

"Being out on the sea made me feel a bit sick at first but over time I grew used to the lack of stability. Now, the ground feels so solid and unyielding," James said.

"I could make the ground swallow you up if you'd like," Lily said with a wicked smile.

James stopped in his tracks and stared at her in disbelief.

"I'm only kidding. I think," Lily said and continued to walk, forcing James to follow.

"I do have so many questions but I don't want to pry," James said.

"Pry away. I'll answer what I can," Lily said, knowing it was probably futile.

"Where did your powers come from?"

"I can't answer that."

"How long have you had them?"

"Always. I remember being small. My mother was holding me. She was afraid and I could… feel it. I could feel her fear. I could almost tell what it was she was afraid of," Lily said.

"You can read minds?" James asked.

"Not exactly. Here, stop," Lily said, grabbing his hands.

James stopped moving as Lily gently held his hands. Lily's heart began to pound with excitement.

"Hmm… I can't feel anything," Lily said.

"Maybe I'm feeling the same thing you are," James said and Lily laughed and let his hands go.

"Normally, I can get a sense for what's on someone's mind if I concentrate. And no, I never do it against anyone's wishes," Lily said.

"Do you know anyone else like yourself?" James said.

"No."

"What does it feel like?"

"Good. Powerful. It feels like waking up and knowing it's going to be a good day. It feels I'm a part of the universe and completely alone. It feels intensely carnal and infinitely spiritual."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

James stopped and plopped down on the sand. Lily sat down beside him, tucking her skirt under her. She looked at her arms, red from the sun and shining with sweat. James looked at her and smiled then looked back out at the waves.

"How many know about you?" James asked.

"I suppose it depends what you mean by know. Lots on the island suspect things about me. Some say I'm a witch or that my parents made a deal with the devil. If you mean who generally knows that I am different… You, Sirius, Peter, my sister, Ab and my friend Dorcas. But as for how many know the real truth… Just me," Lily said.

"That's a terrible burden, isn't it? Being the only one with a secret like that?"

Lily nodded and sighed.

"I would give anything just to tell someone but I can't. And I can't even explain why I can't," Lily said.

"Could you write it down?"" James asked.

"I've tried so many times. It's no better than trying to speak it. My hands won't move," Lily said.

"Can you send thoughts like you can read thoughts?" James said.

"I've… never tried," Lily said.

James extended his hand to her. Lily took it in both her hands. His hands were surprisingly soft for one who had been at sea for so long. She focused very hard, the truth of her nature filling her mind with exquisite and terrible wonder. She thought of Grindelwald and the book of dreams and the ink that bound her very existence. She thought it as hard as she could at James Potter.

James pulled his hand away with shock.

"Did you see it?" Lily asked, feeling herself trembling and swimming with anxiety.

James shook his head, his hazel eyes wide and filled with regret.

"No. It… it started to hurt. No… that's not true. It wasn't pain. It just… was too much. But I felt something. There was something dark, terrible and far too awesome to understand," James said.

Lily nodded, genuinely unable to offer any clarifying words. Instead she placed her hand back on James's but only with affection in mind, wanting to sooth the anxiety they both probably felt. He placed his other hand on hers and squeezed it softly. She liked how small her hand looked between his. It made her get that most peculiar feeling of giddiness again.

James turned towards her and Lily found her eyes focusing on his lips. They looked so soft. And there really was so much of them. That was… a good amount of lip.

James wet them with his tongue, Lily unconsciously mirroring that motion and shifting her body closer to his. Lily held her breath for a moment as their faces leaned ever so slightly close together. They held in place, her mouth close enough to his to feel hot breath. James closed his eyes and pushed closer, brushing her lips just as she felt a jolt of panic and pulled away.

Lily pulled herself to her feet, feeling more unsure and confused than she ever had before. She felt flushed and she was trembling again. She had definitely never felt like this before. It was so exciting and that terrified her. Maybe she was losing control. She needed to take a step back.

"I'm sorry," James said.

"No, it's all right. I think trying to send you my thoughts has made me feel tired," Lily said.

"Let's get you home then, shall we," James said.

They walked back in silence, Lily replaying the moment in her mind, not understanding why she wanted to kiss him and why she didn't want to kiss him either. Lily definitely needed some soothing tea.

Lily struggled to sleep that night. The only thing she could do was lie there and think about James Potter. It wasn't any one particular thing about James Potter. It was everything about James Potter. It had felt so good to be so honest with him about herself. She couldn't believe she had been able almost send him her thoughts and on the first try at that!

She didn't understand why everything was so damned exciting and terrifying about James Potter all at once. The way he looked at her on the beach took her breath away and made her tingle all over. It also made her want to run and hide.

Why was this such a big deal? She had made friends before and it had never been a big deal. But James Potter was definitely a big deal. Perhaps, the biggest deal she could possibly imagine. Lily started to think about over every single moment from the moment he came to the door to the moment he left, her copy of 'Navigator, Baker and Clockmaker' in his hands.

She wondered if she had said anything wrong. Did she use the wrong tone here or there? Could she have done this differently or that differently? Should she have tried to be more funny? Maybe she should've laughed more at him being funny. Should she have kissed him? No, she shouldn't have but oh how she had wanted it to!

Why did it make her heart want to pound out of her chest when they touched or even when he looked in her eyes and smiled? Or when he said her name. She pictured it in her mind. The way his mouth moved when they formed the shapes that created the sounds of her name filled her with joy. Lily pushed her face into her pillow and groaned in frustration.

Lily tossed her pillow aside and stared at the wooden ceiling of her home, barely visible in the dark save for moonlight shimmering off the water that shone through her bedroom window.

She closed her eyes but the only thing she could see was James Potter smiling at her on the beach, licking his lips and leaning into her, like a good scene from a novel. Her mind tried to remember what it felt like for James's lips to brush hers. What would it feel like for James Potter to really press his lips into hers?

She imagined what it would be like as best she could. She had never done that before with anyone. She had never really understood why it was a thing that people did. It didn't even make any sense! And yet here she was in bed, entirely unable to sleep and wishing more than anything she'd had the courage to kiss James Potter that afternoon.

Suddenly, it really was like one of those stories her mother used to tell. The beautiful maiden fell back upon the beach, the handsome sailor's lips strong and sensual as he placed his hands firmly on her body, the both of them nearly melting into the sand. It was something simultaneously mythic and carnal.

But this wasn't a story and James Potter was only her friend. There was no use trying to make things fit some absurd ideal. And anyway, the rest of those stories were terrible. The beautiful maiden never seemed to have much of a choice in her life, merely existing as an object of conquest or self betterment for the men in the tales.

She had also asked her mother why the stories were always about a man and a woman, since not everyone fit into that box just right, including Lily herself, who had never seen why she should have to pick one particular gender to be attracted to.

Lily finally felt herself starting to relax. But James Potter still lurked in her mind. She was going to have work on this. She was making a big fuss out of nothing. Honestly, Evans, lots of people are capable of making new friends without making fools of themselves like this, she told herself.

As sleep began to overtake her, she vowed to work on her friendship with James Potter. If she were to just make it a priority and push this other confusing business out of her mind, everything would be fine.

Everything was not fine. Not at first, anyway. For the next few weeks, Lily really didn't see much of James Potter. She was busy collecting herbs and berries for village merchants a great deal of the time. She also sometimes helped mend clothing. Her parents hadn't left her much so it was important to make money where she could. But mostly, she felt it was important to help the community as much as she could.

James Potter stayed busy keeping his word, beginning the process of going door to door of every home, business or merchant in the village offering whatever help he could give. One day Lily saw him helping to repair a child's tree swing and it warmed her heart. That swing had been broken for at least a year. Sure, repairing the swing didn't bring the boat back or reinvigorate the stagnating economy but it did increase the happiness of the village ever so slightly.

Surprisingly, it was Sirius Black she saw the most of that month. One day he came to her looking nervous.

"Can I ask you a favour?" Sirius asked at her doorstep.

"Of course," Lily said and step aside, allowing him to enter her home.

"Will you come with me to the lighthouse this evening? I'm going to formally ask Aberforth to take me on as an apprentice. Now, I don't want you to say or do anything. I just feel like if you are there he might be kinder towards me," Sirius said.

"All right," Lily said.

"Wait. That's it. All right?" Sirius said, looking confused.

"Anything for a friend," Lily said and smiled at him.

Sirius beamed with joy.

"Here. Sit down. Have some wind spice tea," Lily said.

Sirius sat down and Lily slid a cup in front of him into which she poured the hot liquid.

"That's amazing," Sirius said, taking a sip of it.

"Thank you. It's my own blend," Lily said, sitting down in front of her own cup.

"Do you sell this in the village?" Sirius said.

"I sell a version of it. A version that's a bit more spice than it is wind, if you take my meaning," Lily said, giving Sirius a small wink.

"I think I do," Sirius said.

"I'm always nervous about exposing too much of who I am to the villagers. I doubt they'd ever do anything to harm me… but there's already too many uncomfortable rumours about me here," Lily said, staring absently at her cup.

"That's not what I hear," Sirius said.

"Hmm?" Lily said, looking at Sirius with confusion.

"In the month I have lived on this island I have heard nary a displeasing word about Lily Evans. I have been told how kind Lily Evans is. I have been told how strong she is for essentially making it on her own at only the age of sixteen. I have been told much Lily Evans cares for this village. I have been told by one Dorcas Meadowes what a good friend Lily Evans is. And there are some who have told me how beautiful Lily Evans is with an assortment of impressive adjectives," Sirius said then took a sip of his tea with a smile.

Lily felt her eyes filling with tears. She turned away, unable to stop herself.

"You're more loved than you know, Miss. Evans," Sirius said.

"Thank you," was all Lily could manage as the tears streamed down her face.

Lily insisted they not bother Ab until she was sure he was awake for at least an half hour.

'The last thing you want is to ask him for something after you've made him get out bed early, believe me," Lily told Sirius and he thankfully took her word for it.

Ab answered the door and silently let them in. He had an oddly expectant face on. He didn't seem terribly surprised to see either of them.

"How have you been Ab?" Lily asked.

Ab grimaced.

"I've been well enough. We can dispense with the small talk, though," Ab replied.

"Oh," Lily said.

"Whatever it is you want, just say it."

"I'm actually the one who-" Sirius started.

"Of course, you are," Ab said flatly.

"I was wondering… I mean I don't know if this is a thing that you would ever do…" Sirius continued.

Ab sat down at the table, placing an elbow on the surface and resting his head on his hand, tilted to one side in a sign of impatience.

"I was just wondering if… you would take me on as an apprentice," Sirius said with a smile.

"There. That wasn't so hard. And, no, I won't," Ab said.

Sirius looked stunned.

"But don't you need one? You have no heir or family," Sirius said.

Ab flinched at that last word.

"Say what you're really thinking: I'm old. Yes, I'm old. Yes, I need to train someone to take over for me after I'm gone. What the hell makes you think it should be you?" Ab said.

"It should be someone. And I am fairly well-educated and have experience on the water. Back home I had books on lighthouses that I used to read. I can promise you that there's no one on this island more prepared than me," Sirius said.

Ab shrugged.

"All right. Then you start immediately. I expect you here every night. Not some nights. Not most nights. Every night, no exceptions," Ab said.

And that was that. Lily continued to accompany Sirius to the lighthouse in the evenings for a time. If nothing else, time spent with Sirius was a distraction from thinking about James Potter. Well, until Sirius brought James up. Sirius really admired James.

"It's nice that you think so highly of your best friend," Lily said one day while walking to the lighthouse.

"Oh, James is so much more than that," Sirius said and Lily felt an unusual moment of panic before he finished, "He's like a brother."

Lily felt an inexplicable feeling of relief and smiled at Sirius.

"The brother you never had?" Lily asked.

Sirius frowned and shook his head.

"I have a brother. Regulus. He's everything my parents wish I was. He's going to grow up to be just like them, I know it," Sirius said.

Lily suddenly wished she hadn't said anything but Sirius continued: "No, James is so much better. I didn't choose Regulus. I chose James. He means everything to me," Sirius said.

"So do you fancy him?" Lily asked, not knowing where her sudden boldness came from.

Sirius burst into laughter.

"James? Do I fancy James? Of course, not. I'll admit that he's pleasing to the eyes but he's really not my type. And he only likes girls," Sirius said.

Lily hadn't really considered the sort of people James might be attracted to. She did feel a rush at the knowledge that she wasn't precluded from belonging to that group, however.

"Actually, I've never really known anyone else like me," Sirius said.

"My friend Dorcas and I both like girls but not really each other. We've known each other since we were small. It would be too weird," Lily admitted.

Sirius smiled at her admission.

"I do hope you find someone, Sirius," Lily said.

"And I hope someone finds you too," Sirius said then chuckled and Lily wondered if he knew exactly who her mind leapt to.

Lily didn't see much of Peter Pettigrew that first month. Now that he was back on the island his mother was apparently demanding all of his attention. According to Peter he had apologised more times and in more ways than he knew was possible for abandoning her.

She felt terrible for Mrs. Pettigrew for having spent two years believing her son to be lost at sea. Lily decided to say hello one day but Peter greeted her at the door and didn't seem to want to introduce her to his mother.

"Mum isn't feeling well, unfortunately," Peter said.

"I just wanted to say hello and that I'm sorry for never having met her before now. I know most everyone on the island but not her," Lily said.

Lily had glimpsed her on the porch from time to time, not knowing who she was but Mrs. Pettigrew kept to herself. Lily had to admit that she didn't look particularly ill but she often seemed to be drinking from a bottle of liquor.

Another month passed and Lily saw little of her new friends, all three of them finding things to keep themselves busy. By some miracle, Lily was managing to keep thoughts about James Potter to a minimum. He came by from time to time and he still smiled at her in that same way but it seemed she had successfully made things a little more normal and friendly.

Of course, for Lily normal was a relative term. She had never felt normal and wasn't sure what it was. She just knew it was something to be desired. Friends didn't lay awake at night imagining what it would be like to kiss and hold each other. That wasn't normal. At least, not as far as Lily knew and she only had stories and observances to go on.

At the end of their third month on the island something rather unexpected happened: she stumbled upon Dorcas and Peter kissing on the beach while going hunting for shells to place in her home. Lily was uncertain of how to react. It was several new pieces of information and not easy to process.

She hadn't known that Dorcas and Peter were friendly and she certainly hadn't known that they were interested in kissing each other. By the goddess, Dorcas never even mentioned Peter.

"Oh, hey, Lils," Dorcas said, pulling her mouth away from Peter and smiling back at Lily.

"Hi. Hello, Peter," Lily said.

"I was just leaving, actually," Peter said looking awkward.

Dorcas looked disappointed as he stood up, brushed sand off himself and quickly left. Lily was beginning to worry that Peter didn't like her, but that was probably ridiculous. Lily sat down next to Dorcas, the autumn breeze giving her chills. It was time to put her summer clothes away.

"So, Peter, eh?" Lily asked.

"Yeah. Sort of. It's not what it looks like," Dorcas said.

"So you weren't kissing him?" Lily said and playfully bumping her shoulder into Dorcas's.

"Well, yeah. I was. But it's not… a big deal. He's just a friend and I wanted to kiss him. I like kissing boys," Dorcas said.

"Recreationally?" Lily said then snickered.

"Sure," Dorcas said.

Lily wondered if she could just kiss James Potter, recreationally. Her mind flashed back to that time when they so nearly kissed and her heart began to pound once more. No, kissing James Potter definitely would be a big deal and she tried to quickly push it out of her mind.

"What's it like?" Lily asked.

"Kissing? It's nice. It's intimate but not as intimate as sex," Dorcas said.

"Why do we do it? I mean sex makes some level of objective sense but kissing doesn't seem to serve any purpose," Lily said.

"Do hugs have a purpose? It's just affection, Lily. Don't overthink it," Dorcas said.

Lily wondered if Dorcas had ever wanted to kiss her since this was just something she did with friends recreationally. Lily hadn't really thought about it. In fact, before James Potter she had never really thought about kissing anyone.

"I guess maybe I would understand if I had done it before," Lily said.

"Do you want me to kiss you?" Dorcas asked, shrugging.

Lily blushed then laughed.

"I'll take that as a no," Dorcas said.

"No. I mean, yes! You can kiss me," Lily said.

Then, in a strange mirror of her moment with James, Dorcas leaned over and pressed her lips into Lily's. Dorcas's lips were soft and warm and Lily held her breath until they slowly parted.

Dorcas pulled away with a smile and said, "How was that?"

"That was nice," Lily said with a smile.

"You're a good kisser, Lils. You're gonna knock James Potter dead someday," Dorcas said.

Lily stared at her in shock.

"Come on, Lils. You've prattled on about James Potter for months now," Dorcas said.

Lily was certain that she had been cutting back in honour of keeping her friendship was James normal but perhaps she was wrong.

"I talk about all of my new friends. There's no need to single out James," Lily said.

"Then why do you do it?" Dorcas asked, giving Lily a pointed glare.

Lily wasn't sure how to answer that. Instead she replied with an objectively unusual observance: "I kissed you after you kissed Peter. Does this mean I've kissed Peter?"

Dorcas burst into laughter and shook her head.

"No, of course not. You are such a silly girl, Lily Evans," Dorcas said.

After several minutes of laughing and Dorcas explaining all the boys and girls she had kissed and how now Lily had practically, by proxy, kissed every teenager their age in the village, Lily continued on her seashell hunt.

She knew it was going to be harder than ever to not imagine that moment with her and James on the beach and what it would've been like if she had let him kiss her. As she headed home, she had almost no sea shells in her pouch. Her mind was far too distracted.

As she passed the village she spied another sight that she did not expect: James Potter holding the hands of another girl, Petrova Porskoff.