Desperately Seeking Sam

Warnings: This chapter contains a bit more suggestive violence. Nothing too much or too graphic yet but I do want to warn.

Chapter Two

24-Hours Earlier, Whitefish, Montana:

"Hey, I'm back and actually found some good stuff at the store for once…well, good for me. I still got you the same boring stuff," Dean Winchester called as he tried to juggle an armful of grocery bags through the cabin's door without dropping anything. "Hey! You wanna come give me a hand with this crap?"

Frowning a little when he didn't get a reply, the hunter blew out a breath but figured his brother might be busy or completely involved with something on the computer, even though it wasn't like Sam to totally ignore him… at least not so much these days.

Dean fully admitted to himself that he and Sam had been crossing the line past tense since he got out of Purgatory a couple months back. Hell, there'd been tension between them since Dean returned from Hell but the stress level these days was so thick at times that even Dean felt uneasy with it.

He knew a huge part of what was wrong now was a mixture of his own anxiety and issues over what he'd seen and done in Purgatory just to survive but there were also two other big issues that seemed to be tearing him and Sam further apart.

The first, as Dean silently accepted, was also his fault. He hadn't told Sam about Benny, the vampire he'd met in Purgatory and who he'd brought out with him in return for Benny's help down there. He hadn't told Sam about Benny, about him being a vampire because he hadn't wanted to tell his brother anything about the year he'd spent trapped in Hell's waiting room.

Of course in Dean's mind he also hadn't told his younger brother about his friendship with something that normally would've been a target to them because he was still more than a little pissed off that Sam had spent the time he was missing living 'normal' with a girl and a dog in some town in Texas.

Even though they'd each promised the other no more stunts to save each other, it was an unspoken rule that they'd ignore that rule and at least look for the missing one. At least try to make an effort to find him and Dean had survived his time in Purgatory thinking that his little brother was up top looking for him because he knew he'd still kept looking into getting Sam out of the Cage while trying to live with Lisa.

Getting back, finally able to contact he harder to find than usual brother only to learn that Sam had pretty much dropped out of hunting, stopped looking after their would-be Prophet, stopped doing what they'd grown up doing and had not even tried to find out if Dean was alive or dead so he could go live with a chick and dog had more than pissed the elder brother off.

As Dean grabbed another handful of bags with a curse under his breath, he gave a kick at an absent stone as he allowed himself to think about it.

Yeah, it had pissed him off that Sam hadn't even bothered to look for him the entire year he'd been gone after they got rid of Dick Roman but more than that, and more than Dean would ever willingly admit, it had hurt him and when he gets hurt he hurts back in the only was possible.

Growing up with Sam, Dean knew all the ways to hurt his brother but he suspected that he'd crossed the line a couple of times, especially when he'd been mindjacked by that damn cursed coin.

Despite all the fighting about Benny and about Sam's time with Amelia, Dean's teeth clenched at the name more than he did when saying or thinking about Ruby, he'd known the moment he tossed it in Sam's face that Benny was a better brother than Sam had been that he'd crossed one of those barriers that he'd always sworn never to cross.

Sam had gotten good at hiding his emotions over the years since once upon a time, before Dean's deal had come due and he went to Hell for four months or forty years depending on whose calendar you used, his baby brother had been pure walking and talking emotion.

That had changed these past few years and even though a lot of those emotions had come back once Sam's soul had been restored, he'd learned to shield most of them from Dean. However, he'd seen the look of shocked hurt reflected in Sam's hazel eyes when he'd said that and Dean wished he could take that jab back if nothing else.

In the last month he and Sam had been trying to get back on the same page by at least being able to work together without fighting all the time. Of course, that little mess with Martin hadn't helped them.

Dumping the bags on the table, Dean shot a look around the old cabin that had once belonged to a fellow hunter and one they'd been using since the damn Leviathans had burned Bobby's house and couldn't help but feel an odd chill go through him but shrugged it off as just being tired.

He still meant to go find out who in their right mind had let Martin out of the nuthouse because there was no way in Hell that guy had been ready to face the real world again, much less a real world with real monsters in it.

Accepting that Sam had asked Martin to keep an eye on Benny had been one issue but when it became clear that no matter what Dean said to prove the vampires innocence that Martin had convinced Sam Benny was the vampire doing the killings Dean knew he needed to get his brother out of harm's way.

Sure, it had pissed Sam off when he figured out that the text message from 'Amelia' hadn't really been from her and Dean knew the risk he'd taken by sending his brother back to Texas but it had seemed the best way to ensure that Sam and Benny didn't come to blows or worse because regardless of problems or fights Sammy was his little brother and he'd kill anything or anyone to protect him…even the vampire he owed his life to.

Of course, Dean hadn't been expecting Sam to be so mad that he'd stay in Texas or that he'd go back to the woman whose husband had been found alive and there was that nagging doubt in his gut again that happened whenever Dean let himself think about Sam just walking away to live with a woman he barely knew and forgot their number one promise to each other.

It wasn't Sam walking away from the hunting that bothered Dean too much since he'd known for years, since Sam had been a teenager that this wasn't the life his brother really wanted.

Sam had wanted to be normal. He'd always wanted to feel like any normal kid and for four years in Stanford he'd found that but he'd come with Dean for a weekend and his life had been spiraling ever since but no matter the stress, the problems, the fights or what else had come between them they'd been brothers and Dean had never once thought that his brother, the little brother that had went down the dark path after Dean went to Hell saving his life, would ever walk away without even looking for him.

After saving Kevin from Crowley, Dean had thought his brother would go back to the woman…to what he'd thought of was normal but Sam had stayed. Sam had stayed and Dean had said a final goodbye to Benny, who had seemed to know that it was coming.

Dean suspected Benny knew that it would only be a matter of time before Sam came after him because his little brother had a mad on for the vampire unlike any other thing that Dean had ever seen and Benny also would know that if he made a move on Sam that their friendship would be over.

Beginning to put things away, Dean sighed when Sam still hadn't made an appearance and vowed to make his brother pay the next time they were in the car because shopping was one chore but actually figuring out where all this crap went was next to torture for him.

Worried that Sam had another bad spell, Dean hurried to put the stuff away so he could find his brother while those thoughts came back and reminded him that he'd been meaning to ask Sam if he'd been sick while in Texas because the sudden shakes, the way he'd zone out, the nightmares Sam wouldn't talk about, the headaches and a few other things just weren't making sense to Dean.

Of course, all the noise he was making and Sam still hadn't at least come out to bitch about the distraction also wasn't making much sense to him so after tossing a loaf of bread onto the counter, Dean tossed his jacket on the couch and headed for the bedroom. "Sammy? All the work's done so you can come out now," he gave the door a swift knock before counting to five and frowning.

Normally it only took a three-count to get have the door opening or Sam's voice giving some reply but this time there was nothing but silence was all he got.

Dean started to turn but something in his gut changed his mind as he pushed open the door and felt that same cold rush through him but this time it was mixed with a sick feeling when he noticed the note on the bed as well as seeing that some of Sam's stuff seemed to be missing.

"What the hell?" he demanded on the silent room, scowling as he shoved some stuff that he knew was in Sam's duffel but seemed to have been dumped out on the bed out of the way so he could sit down to view the note when all of the recent troubles, the pain, the fights, the bitterness seemed to return in spades as he read the first sentence. "Sonuvabitch."

"'Dean. I understand that you're going to be angry but I've left. I've decided that this life isn't for me and I'm going away. I shouldn't have come back. I had a life that I loved with a woman I loved more than anyone else I've ever known and while I understand that this may be hard for you to grasp, I'm no longer going to do what you tell me to. I'm my own man and it's time for you to stand on your own.'"

"Really? Oh, I'll stand on my own alright, kiddo. Right after I knock you on your ass," Dean gritted, not seeming aware of the wetness on his face right then as he continued to read the well written letter from Sam.

"'I know I said I'd stay but after thinking about it I've decided it was time for me to find my own life. I know we're brothers but you're not my father and it's time I found a life of my own. Please don't look for me or try to find me as I don't want to see you again. I'm done. We're done. Goodbye. Sam.'"

The note crumpled up as Dean's hand curled into a fist but it was the ball of emotions that had fisted in his gut that Dean couldn't ignore.

Swallowing thickly, he read over the letter again before crumpling it again while seething. He believed that Sam had wanted to do this when he came back, when he hadn't taken Dean up on the offer to go back to normal. He'd actually allowed himself to think there was a chance for them to start to finally heal from all the crap they'd been going through since their Dad had died.

A look told Dean that some of Sam's clothes were gone, a few T-shirts and a pair of new jeans but all the rest had been left but seemed…out of place, though right then Dean's anger and hurt were too huge to notice.

"Goddammit!" he slammed the door, hearing something jar on the wall but ignored it. This betrayal and loss hurt nearly as bad as learning that Sam hadn't given a care enough to look for him or to at least see if he was dead or trapped.

Grabbing the full six pack of beer he'd just bought, Dean slumped on the couch to pop the first top while stewing and debating if he wanted to go track his damn brother down long enough to kill him or give the brat what he seemed to be demanding: never to see his brother again.

"Find a life of his own? I'm not his father? What the hell did he have in Stanford and who in the hell does he think raised him while Dad was hunting?" the ringing bitter words in that letter still stuck in Dean's throat as he replayed them over and over, refusing the empty hurt that wanted to come as partly his own damn fault.

Sam had been hurt by all the jabs at him that Dean had been making, about all the times he'd failed Dean, or betrayed him or just hadn't been there and something had happened while Dean was at the store to finally make Sam decide to walk away.

It wasn't just the surprise of this or at how short the letter had been but Dean just couldn't figure out what had made his brother take off like this. He'd seemed fine a few hours earlier when he was bitching at Dean using his laptop again since he was tired of opening it to find porn.

Yes, it was clear they had a ways to go before finding peace again or of getting over the bitterness but Sam had seemed relieved to be back hunting with Dean and he seemed alright with his choice to leave…her so this sudden departure was bothering Dean and not just because the goodbye letter had cut him a lot deeper than he thought possible.

In eight years they'd both said a lot of crap meant to hurt the other but usually it took someone else's involvement, a drug, a demon, a siren or a goddamn bald Angel to get them to the point where things like this had been said and usually it was Dean doing the hurting.

Even while soulless his brother hadn't come close to this level of hurt and back then Sam hadn't been able to care if what he said hurt someone or not but this time, in short two paragraphs Sammy had done what no demon, angel or the like had before and cut Dean deep.

And like usual when Dean's hurt his first basic response is to hurt back but without knowing where Sam went when he…left, he refused to say run this time, he didn't know who to hurt when all he wanted to do was to at least talk to Sam.

Grabbing his phone, he quickly hit speed dial to see if Sam would answer. The three beers that he drank right on top of one another on an empty stomach was giving him a slight buzz but Dean frowned because he knew he wasn't drunk enough to be hearing noises.

Sitting up on the sofa with his phone still held up to his ear, he kept hearing a familiar tone when it finally hit him that he was hearing Sam's phone. "What the hell?" he muttered, pushing up to see Sam's jacket still tossed on the back of the chair where he'd laid it the night before.

Grabbing the jacket to search through the pockets, Dean felt something icy crawl up his back when he pulled his geek tech loving brother's new phone out and something suddenly didn't feel right.

Sam might walk away without his clothes, or his jacket, or his laptop but Dean knew his brother would not walk away with his phone and the fact that he had was making something about this not add up right.

"What the hell, Sam?" he asked out loud, turning to toss Sam's jacket on the coffee table only to whirl back around at the sound of crashing and saw that one end of the table had collapsed. "Sonuvabitch! What? Who'd I piss off this week?" he knew the wood coffee table was probably old and worn out but his brother's jacket didn't weigh enough to have caused it to break.

Still fuming, the crumpled letter laying on the couch until Dean chose to burn it for just existing, he really didn't want to pick the table up but he also didn't feel like being haunted by two grumpy old hunters and that's exactly what Rufus Turner and Bobby Singer would do to him.

"Why can't I have a mopey little brother who just goes and sulks until we're ready to beat the hell out of each other?" he grumbled, hating the thought that Sam felt like he did especially since he honestly didn't think Sam would ever come right out and use the excuse that Dean wasn't his father since as far as Sam was concerned their own Dad hadn't raised him…his brother had.

If Dean was honest it had really been the 'we're done' part that had hurt him the most because even while fighting the most they had still been there for one another. Even after Dean had tossed the amulet and he still regretted that move, and had given up on them Sam hadn't lost his belief in his big brother so the cold tone of the letter now was like a totally different side of his brother had come out and…

"God, that's so not a good thought to have considering all the troubles he's had in his head," Dean knelt down to see what had broken on the table when his slightly fuzzed head suddenly began to clear as he noticed the legs on one end had snapped but a closer look showed that the jacket hadn't broken it.

Laying on his side to get a better look at what was now causing him to frown more, Dean noticed that the table seemed to have been broken before and just propped back up on the legs. The sudden weight and movement of the jacket had made it fall again.

Sitting up, green eyes looked around the cabin again but this time with a hunter's eye. Sam was gone but his phone, laptop and clothes were mainly still here. His jacket was here despite the chills he'd been having and that Sam had had it drilled into his head as a kid to always take his phone and jacket with him, even if he was being a spoiled brat about something.

Pushing the hurt and pain aside of a big brother aside so the trained hunter could take over, Dean went to push himself up when his fingers touched something gritty under the edge of the sofa and a look down soon had his already tense stomach flipping.

Dropping flat to his stomach to peer under the sofa, Dean growled and gave it a shove back to reveal a small scattering of white powder but it was the syringe that he also noticed that stopped him cold because there was no reason for one to be under the sofa.

They didn't use needles unless it was called for because Sam hated the things and had since he'd been a toddler when a bad hospital experience had left his little brother with a life-long fear of them so Dean never used them and he knew Sam wouldn't have had a reason to.

Narrowing his eyes at the offending object, he nearly jumped when his phone rang and he snatched it up with true hope it was either brother even though the ring tone was off. "Sammy?"

"Uh, no, it's me…Garth," came the voice from the other end as the skinny hunter checked in with the Winchesters but he didn't have to have the senses of a Bobby Singer to know something was off with the oldest Winchester brother. "Something wrong with Sam?"

Pushing up from the floor to look for something to put both the powder and the needle in for testing, Dean rolled his eyes at the stupid question but held his tongue since the other man had no idea that his brother had seemingly take off.

"No…I guess not…I don't know," he replied darkly, going into the kitchen when his eyes zeroed in on the sink where two glasses sat and he knew the sink had been empty when he left earlier in the morning. "Got back, found a note from…Sam. Guess he's tired of this, of me and he'd taken off. Doesn't want me to find him but…he left his phone, his jacket, the laptop and…damn it, Garth…I thought we were getting back on track."

Listening to the pain and honest confusion in his silent hero's tone cause Garth to look to where his current houseguest and Prophet sat with a look of concern on his face. "Kevin talked to Sam this morning, Dean," he began slowly, having only met Sam Winchester a couple times and the first hadn't been under the best of circumstances. "He sounded fine and didn't sound like he was getting ready to bolt. In fact, he said he was waiting for you to get your ass back so you guys could go check out a new lead on a hunt he'd found."

"Come again?" Dean had picked up one of the glasses when a sniff didn't reveal anything but found a greasy substance on the bottom which once again had his senses ticking. "If he had a lead, why would he write this crappy note and just take off?" he demanded, getting more confused, more angry and also more than a little concerned as he pushed his anger away because that was clouding things.

"How many pages did he write?" Garth asked, figuring if Sam had suddenly decided to leave his brother and hunting again it probably took him all day to write the letter.

Dean snorted while looking back at the letter. "Two paragraphs of crap, like I wasn't his father, he could find his own life, that he didn't want me or need me and that we were done…and are you choking?" he frowned as he pulled the phone away while looking at the door for signs of forced entry but seeing none. "Garth!"

"We're talking about Sam, right? Sam Winchester? The kid I saw you nearly shotgun that obsessed fan over and the same one whose eyes I thought were going to come out of his head the other week when you were mouthing off to him?" Garth caught the way Kevin was shaking his head and agreed. "Dean, you sure Sam wrote that note?"

Since he wanted to believe that these weren't his brothers feelings, Dean wished he could say no, he wasn't but since Sam had been alone and there wasn't any forced entry he was left with the task of facing the fact that he'd lost his brother for good this time.

"Sammy and I've been off since I got back. Hell, you saw how we were so…I guess the kid just decided to bail when I was gone," that also hurt Dean since Sam couldn't have waited until he was there to shoot him in the heart with those words. "Guess it just took eight years of this crap to finally let him tell me how he really feels. I mean, he didn't look for me and had a decent life in Texas so…again with the choking, Garth?"

"Uhhh, what d'ya mean he didn't look for you?" Garth blinked, waving Kevin away as he began to pace and put things together.

Neither Winchester was huge on sharing things, be it emotion, hugs, or details so it had taken Garth a lot of pressing, a lot of hard work and finally a lot of bugging Kevin until he'd gotten a clearer picture on things.

"Yep, Sam's own words…he hit a dog, met a girl and that was it," Dean didn't bother to hide the bitterness in his voice since it still bugged him, though not as much as this did. "I mean, I know he was alone and probably confused but we'd always promised to look for each other if…something happened again but he just ran."

"Dean…I don't know why he stayed in Texas after hitting that dog but he spent the first month after you went 'poof' trying to find you," Garth knew that because Sam had been driving him nuts about ideas of where his brother might be and how to get him back.

"I know he was running himself ragged trying to find any lead on you until I was worried he was cracking. He left me one night half asleep cause he couldn't sleep without screaming for you and said there was some kind of Shaman in Texas who might have a clue. That was the last time I saw or heard from him until I met up with you guys," he suddenly felt like kicking himself for not trying to find the younger Winchester.

That admission made a little of the hurt go away but it still left Dean with too many questions and no enough answers as he began to pace, ending up back in the bedroom to finally pay attention and caught some little things that no one else would have.

Sam was the more organized of the two of them. Hell, Dean had given his brother grief for taking so long in folding everything just right and his need to keep things in place that the mess that was dumped from his duffel should've been the first warning bell.

In all of the years they'd been hunting together or before that as kids traveling with their Dad, Sam had never just dumped his duffel out like it had been now.

Skimming a hand over the contents on the bed, he noticed nothing seemed to be missing except for the extra credit cards Sam kept stored in there for emergencies, when his fingers brushed over the black rubber band bracelet.

They'd both each had one because Dean had given Sam one to keep his annoying little brother from tugging on his.

Sam had stopped wearing his until just recently when Dean had given it back since he'd found it in his pocket after digging himself out of his own grave.

The bands had been a symbol of the bond they had as brothers and while Dean knew he couldn't replace the amulet in Sam's mind since he'd tossed it away in a fit of pain and betrayal during the time when both Heaven and Hell wanted them broke apart.

Dean had given this one back to Sam and had begun to wear his own again shortly after getting his little brother out of that mental hospital last year and as far as he could tell Sam had still been wearing it…until now.

Tuning the complaining Garth was doing out, he continued to absently sift through the contents of Sam's duffel and swallowed as another burst of pain hit him as he picked up a torn card that he vividly recalled giving to Sam on his graduation from High School.

His pain in the ass little brother tended to be a pack rat and had kept the card but it hurt now to see that he'd…or someone else had torn it in two as if tearing them apart.

Laying it aside for taping later, he was about to pick up a tossed shirt when it unfolded and Dean slowly had to sit back down. "Garth…Sammy didn't get into a fight with a wolf or anything while I was gone, did he?"

"Huh?" wondering how Dean had gotten onto that since he'd spent the last ten minutes giving him a detailed rundown of Sam's first month solo. "No. As far as I know the worst thing Sam might've fought was the spirit of a witch he raised to get information and…stop snarling, Dean."

Dean wasn't snarling but he was sputtering since his brother knew better than to screw with spirits and especially that of a witch since those things did not like Winchesters very much but then his attention was back on the T-shirt with shreds in it that suddenly hit home and he closed his eyes. "Damn it, Sammy."

It had been five years since the night he was torn to shreds by that hellhound in front of his little brother and Dean had just assumed either Sam or Bobby had tossed the shirt since he'd clawed his way out with a clean shirt on and his brother's bracelet in the pocket of the over shirt.

It had never once occurred to him since he'd never gone through Sam's duffel after he lost his brother to Lucifer's Cage that Sam had kept the damn shirt he'd died in or… "What's…oh," completely forgetting the phone and Garth for a moment, Dean's attention locked on the tiny gold amulet that had been wrapped in a small bit of cloth and for a moment the anger subsided.

Sam tended to be a packrat as Dean knew but he couldn't bring himself to believe that if his brother thought or believed the things he'd written in that so-called note that he still would have these things.

Sharp memories of the night before they met Lucifer in Detroit came back to Dean and he'd noticed that Sam had clung to something the last night at Bobby's.

Dean had tossed the amulet when he'd lost faith in them but Sam had picked it up and had held onto it. Even with all that had happened recently, his little brother had kept these things well hidden in his duffel.

"What the hell, kid?" he whispered, not getting this at all. "You pretty much said you hate my guts and don't want anything to do with me but you're still holding onto this. Why? Garth, what the hell did you just call me?" the shouting on the phone finally got his attention and vowed to hurt the skinny looking hunter.

"I said, did you catch the video to see what Sam was doing today, dumbass?" Garth very rarely lost his temper enough to cuss and especially would not cuss at a Winchester but he hadn't seemed to be getting through to Dean so far.

Scowling, Dean looked around the cabin that barely had cable TV. "What video? Garth, have you ever seen this cabin? It's like living before…well anything was invented practically."

"Dean, I might not be Bobby and I might not be what most people expect but I did meet Rufus Turner once and that was enough to tell me that old guy was more paranoid than you and he rigged that cabin with cameras," Garth chewed his lip a little. "Sam knew they were there so…check his laptop. There might be an app to view them or something."

Hating his brother's laptop since it usually only got him in trouble, Dean went to find it and after a brief search located on a side table which is someplace his brother never would have set it. "I hate this thing," he grumbled to Garth then slit his eyes at a comment from Kevin. "What the hell does he even know about porn?" he shot back, seeing the computer was still on.

Dean's nerves were getting tighter since he knew his brother wouldn't have left his laptop on if he'd gone for good. Checking to see what Sam might have been doing before whatever happened had, he caught several sites on cases but then noticed an app listing that he hadn't seen before. "Hey, what this little app with a camera and a gun?"

"That's the security feed," Garth had smirked when Sam told him the little icon he'd listed it under. "Click it and go back to whatever time after you left today and see if you can see what Sam was doing or…Dean? Dean, hey, what…damn," he closed his phone since he'd been hung up on while hoping whatever Dean found wasn't too bad.

Deciding he had enough distractions, Dean disconnected from Garth while he tried to figure out the video feed and quickly realized by the multiple windows that this whole cabin was rigged and he growled, swearing to kill Sam for not telling him about this.

Finding the right timestamp, Dean grabbed another beer as he began to watch Sam prowl the cabin after he'd left for the store.

Sam had been more restless in the last week and even Dean had the odd feeling like someone was watching them but hadn't pinned it down to what and had finally just shrugged it away to his usual paranoia since getting back from Purgatory.

That morning in fact Sam had down everything but come right out and asked Dean not to leave but he'd finally settled down with a mutter about not being gone all day.

Dean sped the feed forward to see his brother work on the computer before beginning to pace again and he knew Sam only paced like that when on edge. Seeing it come on the two hour mark that he'd been gone, since it had taken Dean longer than he thought it would, he heard the knock on the door which made him sit up since no one should come knocking on their door.

As another knock was heard, he saw Sam come from the hall and head for the door and he heard his name out of his brother's lips, suddenly knowing why there wasn't a forced entry and felt sick.

Sam had thought he'd come back and needed help. Sam had opened the door without looking or checking like they almost always did because whatever had made Sam nervous had also made him forget the most important things both Dean and their Dad had taught him: never open the door without checking and always have a gun in hand.

"Sammy, don't open…shit," he cursed when the door opened and he got a look at who was on the other side. "Shit!"

Seeing the smiling face of Amelia Richardson suddenly made Dean's radar go off but it was the short look of surprise, confusion, and fear that flashed over Sam's face that really had it singing as he sat up to view the screen better.

The sound wasn't good and he could only make out a few words as he watched Sam pause then slowly step back but Dean couldn't be sure if his brother had stepped back to let the woman in or to avoid the hand she'd lifted to touch his chest.

Unaware of the growl that had formed when the woman finally did touch Sam, Dean could feel the hairs on the back of his neck slowly lift as he watched Sam try to avoid the casual touches while there was no mistaking the look on his face as he looked between Amelia and the door as if hoping to see Dean walk through it and Dean was kicking himself for being late or he would've been back by this time if the Impala hadn't gotten a…

"Oh, she is so dead," he whispered, fingers clenching as the sudden flat tire made more sense and felt his blood pressure spike then his attention went back to the video to see that the woman seemed to trying to convince Sam of something but his brother wasn't buying it. "That's my boy."

Sam had been taught by the best on how to get out of a situation and since he was taller and outweighed the woman Dean really didn't think she was a threat. That was when he was sickeningly reminded that it wasn't just the supernatural things he needed to worry about shielding his brother from.

"'No! Amelia, I told you if I didn't come back to the room that night that I wasn't coming back. Now you need to leave,'" Sam's voice was strained, shaky as he tried to steer the now crying woman toward the door. "'We're done. You have Don and I'm…happy. My brother and I are getting along or almost but I'm not walking out on him.

"'What we had was…Hell, I don't even know what we had cause I…I can't remember most of it except…I'm having flashes and I'm hoping I'm wrong but I need you to go and…Amelia? What're you…damn!'"

Dean had been frowning as he struggled to listen and he'd been too focused on that and the ugly little thoughts that were building when Sam's more alarmed tone hit him and he blinked just in time to see Amelia turn from digging in her purse to blow a handful of white powder…alarm bells were singing…into Sam's face with a sudden smile.

Eyes shooting to the white powder on the floor, Dean swore as he watched his little brother stumble back as whatever had been blown into his face blinded him but he wasn't watching as Sam lost his balance and fell back into the coffee table, breaking two front legs. He was watching for what he was praying he didn't see next.

Four years older, Dean knew he had a bit more experience in certain areas than Sam. He'd been conning and hustling pool in bars before he was really legally allowed so he knew what went on behind the scenes in some of them.

He'd also been on the receiving end of his fair share of mickeys and doused drinks, learning a few hard lessons to never leave his beer unattended or always have someone watching his back.

Ever since Becky had ruffied his brother last year he'd been reading up on the more advanced drugs people sometimes used in bars or the like and he'd been watching Sam's reactions since getting back from Texas.

The signs had been there but Dean had been too preoccupied to see them and now as he watched Sam struggle to get back up, to move a sick feeling warned Dean what was happening even though he couldn't believe it.

He watched Amelia kneel down beside Sam to stroke his hair, saw her dump more powder directly into his mouth as he tried to shake his head, to avoid her grasping fingers only to gag on the powder before slowly going still.

"No…God, please," he whispered as if willing this not to happen as he watched and listened to everything Amelia, who the first time he'd seen her had given him some weird vibes, said and did to his suddenly helpless brother.

Fighting not to slam his fists either through the screen or the table, Dean felt his lips curl back as he realized whatever that damn powder was had pretty much paralyzed his brother but he could see Sam was still awake if not fully with it as Amelia slowly inserted a needle into his arm while going the extra mile to pour two drinks while stirring something into the one she forced Sam to drink then just sat on the sofa and watched her combined mickey take its maximum effect.

Sam's eyes seemed huge from what little Dean could see from the limited view of the camera and it hit him that his brother was drugged. He was awake or at least partially awake but unable to move unless…

"That goddamn bitch," he gritted, hissing at the screen as if that would have some effect while Amelia moved to open the door and Dean's eyes nearly jumped as two men entered the cabin.

Dean recalled every single thing about the vet who saved the dog he'd hit. Sam had spoken of Amelia as a kind, emotionally battered young woman who had lost her husband and had just been searching for someone who could understand.

Sam had thought he'd found a kindred soul, someone who understood what it was like to lose someone they'd loved. Or at least that was his brother's description. Now as Dean watched this 'emotionally' battered woman smile and laugh as she pulled his brother's shirts off and reached for his belt he recognized her for what she was…a demented sociopath with serious issues.

Amelia's use of the mixed drugs told Dean that this wasn't the first time she'd slipped his little brother some kind of concoction to make him pliable and then he could hear her voice more…

"'Shhh. Don't fight it, Sam. You know you want to come with me. You know in your heart that this life with your brother isn't what you really want. Didn't I tell you back home when I first took you that I'd make you forget your precious brother? Didn't I tell you not to fight me or the drugs while you were chained those first few weeks? You were made for me, my Sammy,'" Amelia cooed while rubbing a hand down Sam's bare chest and smiled into his glassy brown eyes as he still tried to get his mouth to move around the pleas that she'd heard him use before.

"'No, once we're gone, once we're safe I'll show you how much you love me and what you're going to do for me because we're going to have so much fun. Things that won't come close to what we did in Kermit…or at least the things I let you remember. Now you're going to write a little goodbye note to your big brother so he won't come after you.

"'You'll going to tell him how much you hate him, how this is your life and you don't need him anymore and then you, me and our new friends are going to go home and you'll be all mine, my big strong Sammy. You don't like it when I call you that. Even with the drugs I see it in your eyes. You're mine, Sam and you never should've tried to leave me. You came back and I knew it was meant to be us. Now it will be.'"

Dean's stomach twisted as he heard Sam's drugged moan but it was the big brother that still watched as his little brother's fingers tried to claw at the empty air as she pressed herself down on him before letting the new men jerk Sam up and forced him to write that goddamn note.

Every time either Amelia or one of the men's hands touched Sam, Dean saw red and was in the process of searing all their faces into his memory for later use that he caught what Amelia and her puppets hadn't.

After Sam had haltingly written the note with exactly the wording Amelia whispered to him, and one of the men had come out of the bedroom with a few items of clothes and waving the credit cards with a filthy sneer that Sam was able to lift his head, and the strain was clear that he'd had to fight the drugs building in his system to do even that as his glassy eyes, wide with shock, drugs and more clearly fear locked on to the camera that he knew was recording this attack.

Dean could feel his breath stop as he realized that during the drugging, the mild beating that Amelia let the men do when Sam still tried to fight as his jeans were stripped down to only leave him his boxers that his brother knew the camera was watching and that…he'd…hopefully, see this and know the truth.

"'…Sorry…De,'" it was mouthed and only barely before another needle jabbed into his neck and Sam's eyes rolled back in his head.

Rage built as the needle rolled casually out of Amelia's hand to fall to the floor while she ran a slow hand up Sam's back to around his chest while she whispered something the camera didn't catch before snapping an order and Sam was dragged out of camera view.

The rest of it, the attempt at clean up, the fixing of the coffee table, anything else went unheeded as Dean kept seeing the fear and loss in Sam's eyes before he lost consciousness and knew.

Dean knew that Sam couldn't fight, that he hadn't written that note, the note that he was going to cram down someone's throat the first chance, and he knew deep down in his gut, just by the way the woman talked, bragged and promised that this wasn't the first time she'd done this to Sam.

He didn't know what types of drugs had been used but he would soon. He didn't know where the bitch had taken his brother but he'd also know that soon as well. He didn't know who else was in on this stunt but he had a good hunch on where to find that out but compared to all that he didn't know Dean did know one thing…

Dean was positive that he was getting his brother back from that sick bitch and if he was hurt more than what he'd seen down now then their Father's rule against killing humans was going out the window because he was also very much aware that his brother hadn't stopped looking for him because he wanted to.

The buried fears, the nightmares, the lapses of memory all screamed drugs. Sam had been nailed probably the moment she first laid eyes on him and his only escape had come with Dean's return.

Sam had left or escaped when Dean had called him because there wasn't anything stronger than the bond they had as brothers. He'd been free but Dean's attempt to keep Sam safe from Benny had unknowingly sent his brother back to the bitch and he'd never forgive himself for that.

Rewinding the feed to see Sam's eyes locked on the camera and his use of Dean's nickname, the very shortened form of his name that Sam had used as a toddler just learning to shout for his big brother had broken his heart because he suspected that in his own heart Sam didn't know if he'd see this or not or if he'd believe the note.

The note that had come very close to convincing Dean that he'd lost his brother for good. The lying piece of paper that his brother had strained against fighting since Dean knew every move his brother made and had recognized the way the muscles in Sam's arm seemed to be fighting the urge to listen to the whispered orders.

"It's okay, Sammy," he whispered to the eerily silent cabin as he struggled to control his ragged breathing while slamming the lid on the laptop and making a decision that under any other time he'd be splashing himself with holy water. "I'm coming, baby brother. Heaven and Hell, Leviathans, demons and whatever else thought they could screw with us and we showed them differently. Now I'll show this bitch that she never should've tried to screw with you."

As rage, guilt and hate all began simmering, Dean shoved the laptop into his own duffel while he quickly tossed Sam's stuff back in his then put what he thought he'd need in the Impala before grabbing his phone. "Garth, lock Kevin up and get your ass to Kansas. You're about to get reacquainted with your soul mate," he growled, cutting the hunter's groan off. "This bitch nailed Sam where he should've been safe. I want her found and we're going to drop in on my less than favorite groupie to do that."

Shutting the phone down before Garth could ask more questions that would bring back the full memory of seeing what Sam had endured in over an hour and a half of torment, Dean knew he needed to find them before this got worse and to do that, to be able to help Sam when he did find him he needed to know what she'd given him.

Not feeling like dealing with Feds in his current black mood, Dean made another drastic choice as he hit another number he'd kept on speed dial. "Hey, Sheriff…it's Dean Winchester. I…no, Sammy needs help."

TBC

A/N: Still here? I know not much but a little backstory on this one but I do promise you will get to see more of Sam and Amelia and what he's going through in a later chapter as Dean tries to find a way to lock in on them before he loses Sam for good.