**Ok, so I totally spaced out on beginning the story properly. First off, **DISCLAIMER** I do not own any of the WWE superstars, please don't sue me. Second, Please read and review! Let me know if this is something you would like me to continue or not. Next story I'll make it a John story, promise!**

Amanda nudged Brandon to get inside. She grabbed the mail out of the mailbox as she walked inside with him. Bills, bills, bills and then a letter with no return address on the envelope…but she knew that handwriting anywhere. She did a onceover of the envelope and promptly tossed it into the garbage. She didn't have time for his stoned out of his mind ramblings.

"Brandon, pizza or chicken nuggets?" She called to Brandon. He had already sat down at the coffee table and opened up his laptop. He was only four and a half and already knew how to navigate to his favorite websites without too much help.

He didn't look up or look away from the screen, "Pizza mommy." He replied.

Amanda smiled and took a pizza out of the freezer and began to pre-heat the oven. She walked into the living room and turned on cartoons for him. "Mommy's going to do some dishes. Can you be a good boy?"

Brandon nodded his head, "Mommy, I wuv you." But he still didn't turn away.

She kissed the top of his head, "I love you too sweetie." And she walked back into the kitchen. Amanda ran the dish water, fed the cat and quickly cleaned out the litter box. As she scrubbed the dishes, her mind floated to the letter she had gotten in the mail. She hadn't heard anything from him in quite awhile. She used to get random phone calls and letters, but then they moved. Randy had missed out on so much of Brandon's life. In the last year, he had really blossomed. He was such a smart kid, and now he was talking in almost full sentences, he still had horrible eye contact, but he was learning to be social. If Randy was sober, he might actually be proud of him. Or even, maybe proud of the work she had done too. Amanda busted her ass to help Brandon as much as possible. She worked a full-time job Monday thru Friday and then a part-time job on the weekends so she could afford to buy the things Brandon needed. Randy made it clear that he didn't want to be a part of his life, so she didn't feel right cashing his child support checks. She had mailed them all back to him. And he stubbornly mailed them right back and told her to start a savings account, so she did. Maybe one day Randy would change his mind about Brandon. He might not have been perfect, but he sure was great. Yes he had his moments, but he also taught Amanda a lot about life.

The timer went off so she took Brandon's pizza out of the oven. She let it cool off and finished up the dishes. She poured him some juice and called him to the table. There she sat down at the table with him.

"Brandon, tell me about your day." She said to him.

Brandon took a drink of his juice, "I pwayed…and I was a good boy today."

Amanda smiled, "No naughties?"

He shook his head and made a quick glance towards her, "No naughties mommy."

She clapped her hands, "YAY! That makes me happy!"

He began to eat his pizza. Then he glanced over at her, "How was your day mommy?"

"It was very busy. Then I got to come pick up up and bring you home."

Then the silence took over again. As soon as he was done, he got up, threw his plate in the garbage, put his cup in the sink and walked right back to the laptop.

Amanda cleaned up a bit more and saw that Brandon's plate basically covered the letter. She argued with herself for a couple minutes, and then finally grabbed the letter out of the trash. She dusted off the crumbs and wiped off the pizza sauce. The postmark read Atlanta. She thought to herself, "There wasn't a show in Atlanta anytime recently." And even though she'd probably regret it, she opened it and sat down.

Dearest Amanda,

I don't know if you'll read this or not. But I'm hoping you will. It's Randy, in case you didn't notice. And, do you remember how you wanted me to clean myself up? Go to a few meetings? Maybe even rehab? Guess what…here I am. I'm in an inpatient rehab facility in Atlanta, Georgia. Granted, I'll be honest, it wasn't my choice to come here…I'm pretty glad I did. I'll be in here for 92 or 93 days.

I lost it. I got done with our first show in London and I got back to my hotel room and started to go through my mail. There was a thick envelope, and when I opened it there were the official, notarized, finalized papers of our divorce. And amongst those papers, were the other papers that read that I had been paying child support and you approved of the amount and that no custody arrangements needed to be made because I had deserted the two of you. And I snapped. I finally realized just how badly I fucked everything up. And I flew off my rocker. I got really high, then I downed a bunch of Jack Daniels and my temper flared. I began to destroy the hotel room. Long story short, I wound up almost losing my job. But Vince agreed to pay for rehab if I made the conscious effort to turn my life around.

So here I am, writing you this letter that I should have written long ago. I'm officially ten days sober. Yup, it sounds little, but damn its amazing. I can't tell you the last time I went ten days in a row without anything in my system. We aren't allowed to have or make phone calls, and my therapist/counselor whatever he is said that I should write letters to those who drug abuse hurt the most. And that would be you and Brandon.

How is Brandon doing? I bet he's getting really big. Is he talking now? Does he have any friends? Favorite toys? I am so so sorry that I screwed up so badly. I look back now and I curse the fact that I ever let myself get so out of control. You guys mean the world to me. And I know damn well that his autism has nothing to do with what I did or what you did, but it was out of our hands. I am so sorry that I blamed you. You're a great mom, and you were a great wife.

I love you and I love Brandon. I know that I completely demolished the bridge, the home and the life that we made together, but I really hope that one day you'll forgive me enough to let me be a part of his life even if it is too late for us to ever be an us again.

I don't know if Brandon even knows who I am…or if you even care where I am anymore. But I do hope that I hear back from you. And please, be completely open and honest. I'll never know just how badly I screwed up if you're not.

Amanda, I love you so much. And I know that I never showed it, but I love you and Brandon with all of my heart. Please write me back.

Randy

Amanda crumpled up the letter in frustration and then began to cry. And then it became sobs. He finally was getting sober…but how long would it last? Was he really dedicating himself to getting and staying clean? How dare he expect her to just come running? Or to try and subject Brandon to the possibility of being rejected again? It was shortly after Randy kicked them out that Brandon walked into the bedroom with a picture of Randy in his hand and said "Daddy?" for the first time…but he'd never know that he was Brandon's first real word…and it came after their huge fight. Unless she broke down and told him.

She stood up and wiped her eyes and said out loud to herself, but quiet enough so Brandon wouldn't hear. "He wants the honest to God truth….fine. That's what I'll give him."

Amanda ran Brandon a bubble bath and scrubbed him up. Then she dried him off, lotioned him and played with him a bit. Then she read him his three bedtime stories. She tucked him in and gave him a kiss. "Goodnight Scooter Scoots. I love you."

He smiled and hugged her back, "I wuv you too Mommy."

Amanda walked downstairs and slipped into her pajamas. Then she sat down with a pen and a notebook and began to write him back. He wanted honesty….then by God that's what he was going to get.

**Please read and review! Let me know what you think of this so far.**