Okay, so ummm. . . I felt really happy with the reviews. I read them until I was 'satisfied'. So, about the "no pairings" stuff? I FORMALLY TAKE IT BACK! Yes, people! There will be slight OkiKagu! I hope someone is satisfied. Thank you for reading this fanfiction. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Gin: Oi, where was I in the last Chapter? I'm the main protagonist! I should get more screen time! Oi! Don't ignore me!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama. Hideaki has all the pleasure.

Shinpachi's eyes narrowed as he carefully read the list. It was written clearly in Okita's (surprisingly) flawless handwriting but . . . .

Okita Sougo's to-do list:

Kill Hijikata with a throwing knife

Kill Hijikata with a poisoned arrow

Kill Hijikata with drugged mayo

Kill Hijikata with grenade launcher

Kill Hijikata with bazooka

And so on...

He should've expected this. He shouldn't have agreed to the prank in the first place if he knew about the list. Shinpachi was nervous- almost afraid. This was different, new, and exciting. He really didn't know what to do. The uniform felt hot and uncomfortable, the sword hanging from the belt gave him that foreign, peculiar feeling since he always used a bokken instead of a real sword. It's easy to be me, Okita had said. Shinpachi wondered what he meant about it.

Shinpachi continued strolled down the streets, watching out for any discordance within the bustling district.

-Yorozuya HQ-

Okita squinted through the spectacles. It was clear that Shinpachi's eyesight really is awful because of the grade of the lenses. But what bothered the sadist was that he could see much better with the glasses on. Everything was suddenly bright and vivid the moment he put them on. He could see even the smallest of dust in the darkest corner of the room. It was the other thing that really bothered him to the point of suspicion. The spectacles also gave him an irresistible urge to clean everything. Everything.

He watched his eternal rival eat in a barbaric manner. It was kinda cute. The Yato gracefully picked every food on the table with chopsticks and it would suddenly disappear in the depths of her mouth. And the way Kagura would ask him another bowl of white rice with a toothy grin was . . . yeah . . . cute. As the redhead chowed down her 10th bowl of rice, Okita found himself staring at her face.

"Oi, Shimnpanchi, whasht wong?" Kagura noticed the intense atmosphere. He didn't move nor even respond. He was looking at her with red glowing eyes behind the spectacles. Kagura waved a hand in front of his gaze. "Oi. Shinpachi! Are you alright?"

'Rice...on her cheeks...must...get...it...,' Okita was in the middle of fighting the urge. His body felt terribly warm and numb as he tried to mentally suppress his own mind. And he was losing the fight.

Kagura couldn't bear the bespectacled boy's dark expression. She gingerly put down the rice bowl and chopsticks, stood up and went beside the Megane*. His eyes followed the rice on her cheeks. Those taunting, white puffs on her right cheek looked like they were singing and waving at him. Come get us! Come get us!

Kagura leaned in closer. "Hey, Shinpachi, you need to go to the toilet or something?"

Shit, not good! At this point-!

It was when his vision went black. There was a fast whoosh of the wind and there was a cold, wet sensation on his hands. He heared Kagura's muffled scream as his body slowly became an arc of pure destruction. He was no longer a human being. The urge slowly consumed his body and soul, creeping down from his brain to his feet. Until- "SHINPACHI, YOU IDIOT. STOP IT!"

Something hit his head and jolted the sadist back to reality. His vision cleared again. The Yato gal stood in front of him panting and clutching her red, swollen cheeks. His eyes fluttered down to his hand and saw a wet, piece of cloth used for wiping.

"KONOYARO! It hurts, dammit!" Kagura held her cheeks as she shouted at him. "What was that for?!"

"I...," The sadist froze in place. "What the heck did I do?"

"SO NOW YOU'RE ACTING DUMB, JUST WAIT AND SEE I'M GONNA WRAP YOUR BALLS-"

Before the Yato could say more, Okita grabbed her both of her wrists and pinned her against the wall. The force of it was so strong; Kagura could see stars from the unexpected crash. She tugged against his hold but it only made his grip tighter. One of his legs moved between hers, making it harder to escape.

"You're too noisy. It's annoying." He spoke slowly in his usual cold voice. Kagura could only stare at him in shock. "Let me kill you."

A sound of a sliding door being opened was heard from across the room followed by a lazy drawl coming from the Yorozuya Boss.

"I'm back. Is anybody there?"

"GIN-CHAAAAN!" Kagura managed to react first under the sudden confusion. "SHINPACHI FU**ING TRYING TO KILL ME!"

With one swift movement, Okita used the wall as a springboard, kicking it with force causing him to fly backwards and jumping over the table, food unharmed. He sat back on his original place just before the silver-haired perm went inside.

"Geez, it's too hot. You're blood is still boiling, Kagura?" Gintoki shuffled his feet towards the dinner table and sat down beside the fake Megane*. "Oi, what are you doing there?"

"THAT BASTARD TRIED TO KILL ME!" yelled Kagura, jabbing a finger to Okita's direction.

Gintoki stared at Okita with dead-fish eyes while the Sadist gulped down the nervousness. He perfectly hid his eyes beneath the hazy reflection of the light upon the oblique glasses as he stared back.

After a long minute, Gintoki smirked at Kagura. "Seriously? Pacchan here is trying to kill you?"

"No! Gin-chan, believe me, Shinpachi is really weird today-"

"Danna, would you like to eat some egg rolls? I made them especially for you today."

"Eh? Okay, did you add brown sugar in them instead of soy sauce?"

"Sure did," said Okita, remembering the strange taste the tamagoyaki had. Kagura still tried to convince Gintoki by telling him what happened but the natural perm dismissed her by burping at her face every time she stopped and waited for his reaction.

After Kagura gave up and decided to slump against the wall in utter defeat, Okita whipped up his best and smuggest smile to her.

GAME ON

A/N: Megane: Glasses or pun to people wearing glasses.

Sorry, I was a little "late". Ha-ha.

Blame the freaking Thesis. So, did you get Okita's devious idea of fun while staying in the Yorozuya? Do I have to write another chapter on Okita's side or focus the next one to Shinpachi's side?