Chapter one: Night.
A/N: This chapter is sad. Just sad. FAIL…..
The gray cat was no more than a shade.
It watched its prey with calculating eyes, hiding among the shadows. It was no more than a shadow, at least to its prey. Its lithe muscles were covered in dark grey fur, its body made for movement. Any other time, it would be high in the trees, leaping from branch to branch, or running swiftly through the forest. But in this moment, it was completely still, bunched up in the shadows, coiled and tensed, ready to spring. Ready to spring onto its unwary prey, a mouse to be exact.
The mouse snuffled along the forest floor, looking for food (unknowing that it would soon be food). Liquid black eyes searched the forest floor for a tasty nut or two, but to no avail. No food again. Alas, all those tasty nuts had been taken by greedy squirrels! Dang squirrels. If only the mouse could give them a piece of its mind! But unfortunately for the mouse, those squirrels were darn fast, and always got to new feeding areas—and left, too- before the mouse even heard of it. And when it finally got there, there would always be nothing left. Dang squirrels.
Innocent little mouse, so unknowing. Thinking such irrelevant thoughts instead of being sensible and alert. The cat felt its mouth curve into a smile.
The mouse uncovered something in the fallen leaves, and found it to be a nut! Finally! It eagerly picked up it prize, only to find that it was half an empty shell, chewed through by sharp squirrel teeth. Tricked again! The mouse's whiskers twitched in what seemed to be annoyance, but one can never tell. It is just a mouse, after all. It sulked the forest loam, and unwittingly slid closer to the cats waiting body. Closer to danger. Closer to death.
And then the cat lunged.
Yes, I know, another dramatic beginning. Another typical beginning, a cat's hunting refined by a pen that just seems to be overdoing it. Yup. Another bang! (that's kind of wannabe) for the start of a new chapter. Yes, again. As if the storm in the Prolouge wasn't enough.
But fear not, Shade's glory won't live long. (You know, Shade, the she-cat mentioned in the Prouloge? Her.)
In fact, well, just watch.
Suddenly-
"Mommy! Mommy! MOMMY!" A little black cat burst out of the bushes, holding a branch with berries on it. "Mommy, look what I found!"
The cat, Shade, started. Then groaned. You shall soon see why.
"MOMMY MOMMY! LOOK AT ALL THE PRETTY BERRIES, CAN I KEEP IT? ITS SO PRETTY! MAYBE WE CAN EAT IT BUT THEN I WON'T BE ABLE TOO KEEP IT AND ITS SO PRETTY AND TOO PRETTY TO EAT AND ITS JUST SO COOL SO CAN I KEEP IT? I CAN USE IT AS DECORATION FOR OUR DEN SINCE OUR DEN IS TOO BORING RIGHT NOW AND ITS ALL GRAY AND BROWN AND THERE ARE NO BRIGHT COLORS AND THE MOSS IS TOO BROWN TO BE MOSS AND ITS HARD AND UNCOMFORTABLE, TOO. I WANT SOME NEW MOSS, TOO, AND THEN CAN WE GO PLAY? CAN WE? MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY-!"
The rest is irrelevant. What is important, however, is that this little cat's mouth moves at a hundred miles per hour.
Which means that he was making a lot of noise. A LOT OF NOISE.
"MOMMY MOMMY I REMEMBER ONCE I SAW A RAINBOW AND IT WAS SO SHINY AND PRETTY AND THE TOP WAS ALL RED JUST LIKE THESE BERRIES AND IT WAS SO PRETTY AND I WANTED IT BUT I COULDN'T REACH IT BUT NOW I HAVE THE RED AND CAN MAKE A RAINBOW!"
Now, the mouse Shade was hunting was not exactly the brightest crayon in the box (Cats actually don't know what crayons are, but I do), but it wasn't brain-dead. So of course its going to abandon its desperate quest for nuts –gasp!- and run away. Of course.
You may have won this time, little nuts, but next time I, Mouse, shall get you! There was definitely a strange glint in the mouse's black eyes as it ran away. Probably plotting dark revenge against those evil squirrels, or the nuts that just refused to appear.
Actually, it was probably just scared and creeped out by the strange black thing that did not know how to shut up.
"SEE MOMMY THE RAINBOW WAS A SIGN AND IT SAD THAT I MUST GATHER ALL THE COLORS OF THE RAINBOW AND UNITE THEM, IT'LL BE A QUEST AND-!"
But I digress, again. Third time, in fact.
The mouse had ran. And the cat, Shade, was empty-pawed once more. Shade felt annoyance that could be considered similar to the mouse's frustration at those darn squirrels. Darn squirrels. No, darn Night.
Shade, the great huntresses' son, Night-who-did-not-know-how-to-shut-up.
In fact, he was still talking.
"MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY THE MOUSEY RAN AWAY DID YOU SEE? IT JUST RAN AWAY WITHOUT EVEN SAYING HI AND THAT'S SO MEAN! MOUSEY IS RUDE FOR NOT SAYING HI AND NOT LETTING YOU CATCH IT MOMMY! THE MOUSEY IS A MEANY! MAYBE THE BUNNIES ARE NICER AND WILL SAY HI AND PLAY WITH US AND BESIDES THEY'RE SO FLUFFY TOO CUTE TO EAT! WE SHOULD ALL BE FRIENDS AND NOT EAT EACH OTHER AND INSTEAD EAT BERRIES AND KEEP THE COLORFUL ONES LIKE THIS ONE! SEE MOMMY SEE ITS ALL RED AND BRIGHTEY AND ITS SO PRETTY AND I JUST WANT TO KEEP IT AND ATTRACT FRIENDS WITH IT! EVERYONE WILL COME TO IT AND SEE THAT ITS SUPER BRIGHT AND PRETTY AND THEN I'LL EAT T AND BECOME ALL COLORFUL AND EVERYONE WILL WANT TO BE MY FRIEND AND I'LL NEVER BE LONLEY AGAIN AND WE'LL ALL PLAY IN THE MEADOW YOU FOUND AND BE FRIENDS! MOMMY MOMMY JUST LET ME KEEP THE BERRIES AND—"
Night was interrupted by a loud sigh.
Gasp! So it is possible to interrupt the uninterruptible!
Shade felt her annoyance growing. Not only did Night scare away the first prey she had seen in this dang forest for weeks, but he didn't even know it. Great. Just great.
But, as usual.
Because Shade was almost one hundred percent sure her son was an idiot. A total idiot.
Before, she had tried to teach him how to fight and hunt. After all, Shade did spend some of her life in Twolegplace and earned herself a reputation to live up too. No son of hers was gong to be a pussy! But it didn't work. After all, Night was no tough guy (Quite the opposite, really). But Shade suspected, no, knew that Night was happy not knowing, and would much rather chase dandelion seeds than actually learn to survive (Which struck Shade as extremely weird, because who would rather be a total idiot than someone who is actually strong?). So the lessons failed, and Night remained defenseless. And an epic fail, in Shade's eyes.
"Its time you learned to fight." Shade and Night stood in a clearing.
Shade looked at Night, eyes dead serious. Night, however, was chasing a dandelion seed.
Shade stared and waited until Night's focus came back. Which was a long time later.
A really long time later.
Finally, Night looked up.
"As I was saying," Shade said, trying hard to keep the irritation out of her voice. "It's time you learn to fight." She looked at Night seriously, expecting him to be paying attention.
But no. Once again, Night was chasing that darn dandelion seed.
Shade felt her patience wear thin. And before she could stop herself, Shade lunged and in one movement, snatched the dandelion seed out of Night's paws and pinned it to the ground, all before Night could even react. Night blinked, stunned, and then started to protest.
Shade interrupted him before he could start whining. "Okay, okay, you can have another one, just as long as you pay attention!"
Night frowned, but held his tongue. And tried to listen. No really, he tried! But the blades of grass tickling his paws were just so interesting….
"This world is full of cats," Shade began. "And many of them are nasty. Really nasty. And they will try to hurt you." Shade paused. Night quickly tried to look like he was interested.
Satisfied, Shade continued. "So it is essential that you learn to defend yourself." Once again, she checked to see if Night was paying attention.
This time, Night could not move fast enough, and Shade caught him playing with a blade of grass.
Shade fought the urge to whack him on the head and instead settled for yelling: "NIGHT!"
Night snapped to attention like a deer caught in headlights. But perhaps a bit to quickly, for he jerked backwards and ended up toppling over. Shade groaned.
"Pay attention!" She snapped for what felt like the millionth time. "You want to learn to fight, or do you want to remain the lazy kittypet that you are now?"
This caught Night's attention. But not in the way you would expect.
"Wait, you want me to fight?"
"Of course!" Shade yowled. "Weren't you listening?" Oh, wait. Don't answer that. Of course you weren't listening.
"But-but-" Night protested.
"But WHAT?" If cats had hands, Shade would be facepalming right now. Better yet, banging her head against a tree, which didn't even require hands!
"But I don't want to fight!" Night burst out. "I just don't want to hurt people! I just want to be friends with everyone! Can't we all be friends? It's much nicer, you know. We could all be happy and laugh together and no one hurts anyone and all is happy! It's nicer to be friends and everyone is happy and all is nice and we all smile! And everyone would be friends, even the fluffy bunnies and little mice because they're super cute! And-"
Shade interrupted. "But at least learn to hunt so you can live!"
"But then I'll have to kill innocent little bunnies and mice and I'll be sad because they're so cute but I killed them and they're never coming back! They're just so fuzzy and little and I just can't hurt them! And they are just so cute and I can't kill them because they're too cute to kill! And I just want to be friends with the all and paly in the meadow you found and have fun and laugh and cuddle little bunnies and mice-!"
Shade finally snapped and started banging her head against a tree.
And now, although he had scared away the last mouse, he still yammered on as if nothing had happened and the sky was still filled with rainbows and magical pink unicorns. Shade opened her mouth to snap at Night for messing things up again, but wait-
What?
Shade blinked. Rainbows and magical pink unicorns? The hell did I just think?
Night stared, then suddenly announced: "Rainbows and magical pink unicorns!"
"I said that aloud, did I?"
"YEP! AND MOMMY MOMMY NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT I REMEMBERED THE RAINBOWS! I SUPPOSED TO GO ON A QUEST AND FIND ALL THE COLORS OF THE RAINBOW AND YAAAAY!"
Shade moaned. Not the rainbow thing.
Night had found some catnip when he was a kit. And before she could stop him, he had eaten it all. All of it. And so, for the next few hours, Night bounced off the walls, well, trees. And screamed about strange things that Shade had never heard of, such as "Nyan Cat" and "Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows" and something about "lame parodies", whatever that was.
"AND WAFFLES!" Night suddenly yelled.
Oh, yeah. Lets not forget those "waffles" that Night wouldn't shut up about for the next few days, even though the catnip was already out of his system.
But speaking of catnip—
"Night, is that catnip I smell on your breath?!"
It would definitely explain Night's refusal to speak in anything but Caps.
A/N: This was only a chapter meant to introduce some characters. More parody-like than usual. And yes, I know that Shade kind of forgot about the mouse thing. She will remember in the next chapter.