A/N: (by Bel) Here it is, the eagerly anticipated Chapter 2! Yaay! :) In which Draco has his conversation with Snape....enjoy! And, sorry it took so long, the delay was due to the fact that we've been busy with our other slashfics, Wyv's A-level exams, and the fact that the computer has only just decided to let us upload chapters!
Disclaimer: Not ours. We own nothing. Wish we did! The Slytherin boys mentioned here are actually players from the AFC Bournemouth footy team. Don't worry, Mr O'Driscoll, we'll have em back nice and fit by the start of the season!
It's freezing in these dungeons. It should be illegal to be this cold. The door creaked open and I stepped inside. Snape smiled when he saw me.
"Mr Malfoy," he said. "What can I do for you? Do you need any help with..."
"No," I interrupted. I just needed to talk to someone, and I thought you would listen." Snape nodded sympathetically. I took a deep breath, and began.
"Well, you see..." I hesitated. "It's rather difficult. Um...just lately, I've been having feelings, strange feelings about someone."
"Pleasantly warm, happy feelings? Butterflies in your stomach? Feeling like you're floating on air?" I nodded. "It's perfectly obvious, Mr. Malfoy. You're in love." I said nothing, just kept on staring at the floor. "So, who's the lucky girl?" This was the part I'd been dreading. My hands were shaking.
"it...it isn't a girl. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. It's a boy. And I'm scared."
Snape said nothing. The silence flowing around us was disconcerting. I forced myself to look up at Snape.
He had gone deathly pale and was just staring at me. It was probably the most terrifying thing I've seen this year. His fists were clenched tightly, his knuckles turning white with the pressure.
"Sir?"
"I think you should go." I was stunned. What was wrong with Snape? Why was he looking at me like that? It looks...it almost looks as if he's scared of me. Great! Is there no-one I can talk to about this? I tried pressing him one more time.
"Professor, I..." "I said go!" Snape snapped, suddenly looking fierce. I took the hint and went.
I ran from the dungeons, tears streaming down my face. It was difficult enough trying to cope with all these weird emotions rushing through me without encountering hostility wherever I went. Just my luck! I was starting to feel shame. Ashamed of feeling for this way. It somehow feels natural to me...but I know it's not. It can't be. Not looking where I was going, I bumped into someone, knocking them over.
"Watch where you're going, Malfoy!" spat the person. I stopped sobbing for a moment. It was him! Harry! I stared at him for a second, then looked away. I didn't think I could face him right now. Or ever. I heard him get up and walk away, then howled in sheer frustration. I didn't hear him come back.
"Draco?" I jumped at the sound of his voice. "What's wrong?" I tried to sneer, but somehow, sneering doesn't quite work with tears running down your face. I said nothing, just looked away. I couldn't say anything, I wasn't ready for a verbal battering, which is what I would surely get from Mr Perfect Gryffindor.
Then I felt his arms circling around me, drawing me into a hug. I clung to him for a couple of minutes until the tears had stopped. I pulled away from his embrace reluctantly. I quite enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms....no! stop it! Stop...oh hell!
"Thank you," I murmured. He smiled at me, and helped me up.
"No worries. So, what's wrong?" I just shook my head. "And don't tell me it's nothing. It must be something bad in order to make Ice Queen Draco Malfoy howl."
"I....I can't tell you. You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
One look into those green eyes told me that I could tell him. And I must admit, I had to admire the way he was making the effort to talk to me, even though we haven't ever exactly seen eye to eye. Anyway, I told him everything. Well, not everything, I still had enough pride and self control left to conceal the fact that it was him I fancied. The silence that followed my outburst was making me feel uncomfortable again, and I risked a look at Harry, expecting to see horror and revulsion twisting his features. Instead, he was looking at me with sympathy and understanding.
"Sorry," I mumbled, still feeling extremely uneasy.
"Don't apologise, I know just what it feels like."
"What?" I was stunned. I was not expecting that! "You mean you're...?"
"Gay. Yes." he finished. "I went through it all last year. It wasn't easy, but I had Dumbledore to talk to, and Ron and Hermione. Probably a lot more support than you've had." I nodded. Everyone I knew seemed to have a revulsion towards homosexuals.
"Who did you realise you fancied, then?" I asked. He went bright red at these words. "Weasley?"
"No, erm, Seamus Finnigan," he replied, a shade too quickly. "You?"
"Wade Elliott," I lied. "The one who always sits opposite Pansy Parkinson in Potions. He nodded. I lost my nervousness as we talked for what must have been hours. And I found my admiration for him growing. His bravery and easy manner were starting to rub off on me, and I started feeling a lot better. Then we said goodbye. I walked back to the Slytherin common room feeling a lot happier than I had in ages. So happy, in fact, that I had lost the shame I was feeling after coming out of Snape's office and wanted to dance along the corridors singing "I am gay! And proud of it!"
That good mood evaporated when I entered the Slytherin common room. For a start, Pansy Parkinson latched herself on to me, and I could hear Crabbe and Goyle sniggering about the sweets they'd just nicked off a Hufflepuff first year. I settled down into an armchair by the fire, and was immediately surrounded by Pansy and her girlie gang. They were giggling about something. Wade Elliott also joined us.
"What's the matter now?" I sighed.
"Karl Broadhurst's just announced that he's gay!" Pansy shrieked. "Can you believe it! I'd die if it was one of my friends!"
"Bloody poof," grunted Goyle in my other ear. "If he tries it on with me I'll smack him one." I sniggered; the only thing likely to try it on with Goyle was a dead pigeon.
"I always liked Karl," whispered one of the girls to Pansy. "Now I don't want to even look at him."
"There's nothing wrong with being gay!" I yelled, without thinking. Their pathetic, bigoted comments were really getting to me. Some of the girls started giggling again. They always do. It should be made illegal. The rest just stared at me, and I started to panic. I could hear the rumbling that meant Crabbe was trying to string a relatively coherent sentence together.
"You're not...you know...are you?" he asked.
"Of course I bloody am!" I snapped, in what I hoped was a sarcastic tone, yanking my arm away from Pansy's death grip.
"What's the matter with you, Draco?" demanded Wade. "You've been all tetchy lately."
"Just tired, I guess," I lied. "I haven't been sleeping well lately." This was partly true; I had been losing some sleep over concerns about my sexuality, which was even harder to come to terms with when I was encountering homophobic reactions at every opportunity.
"Poor Drakie, what's wrong?" simpered Pansy, snuggling up to me.
"None of your fucking business!" I snarled, jumping up, dumping Pansy unceremoniously on the floor. She stared at me for a minute, hurt. I swept across the common room and ran up to my dormitory, jumping on my bed and burying my face in the pillows.
A few moments later, Wade came in.
"What is wrong with you!" he shouted. "You had no right to treat Pansy like that, she loves you, she deserves better treatment from her fiancee!" I shuddered at those words. We'd been betrothed ever since our birth.
"She loves me or my money?" I snapped back. Wade didn't have an answer to that.
"Come on, man, what's wrong? We're friends, aren't we? You can tell me."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"You wouldn't understand. None of you would understand."
Disclaimer: Not ours. We own nothing. Wish we did! The Slytherin boys mentioned here are actually players from the AFC Bournemouth footy team. Don't worry, Mr O'Driscoll, we'll have em back nice and fit by the start of the season!
It's freezing in these dungeons. It should be illegal to be this cold. The door creaked open and I stepped inside. Snape smiled when he saw me.
"Mr Malfoy," he said. "What can I do for you? Do you need any help with..."
"No," I interrupted. I just needed to talk to someone, and I thought you would listen." Snape nodded sympathetically. I took a deep breath, and began.
"Well, you see..." I hesitated. "It's rather difficult. Um...just lately, I've been having feelings, strange feelings about someone."
"Pleasantly warm, happy feelings? Butterflies in your stomach? Feeling like you're floating on air?" I nodded. "It's perfectly obvious, Mr. Malfoy. You're in love." I said nothing, just kept on staring at the floor. "So, who's the lucky girl?" This was the part I'd been dreading. My hands were shaking.
"it...it isn't a girl. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. It's a boy. And I'm scared."
Snape said nothing. The silence flowing around us was disconcerting. I forced myself to look up at Snape.
He had gone deathly pale and was just staring at me. It was probably the most terrifying thing I've seen this year. His fists were clenched tightly, his knuckles turning white with the pressure.
"Sir?"
"I think you should go." I was stunned. What was wrong with Snape? Why was he looking at me like that? It looks...it almost looks as if he's scared of me. Great! Is there no-one I can talk to about this? I tried pressing him one more time.
"Professor, I..." "I said go!" Snape snapped, suddenly looking fierce. I took the hint and went.
I ran from the dungeons, tears streaming down my face. It was difficult enough trying to cope with all these weird emotions rushing through me without encountering hostility wherever I went. Just my luck! I was starting to feel shame. Ashamed of feeling for this way. It somehow feels natural to me...but I know it's not. It can't be. Not looking where I was going, I bumped into someone, knocking them over.
"Watch where you're going, Malfoy!" spat the person. I stopped sobbing for a moment. It was him! Harry! I stared at him for a second, then looked away. I didn't think I could face him right now. Or ever. I heard him get up and walk away, then howled in sheer frustration. I didn't hear him come back.
"Draco?" I jumped at the sound of his voice. "What's wrong?" I tried to sneer, but somehow, sneering doesn't quite work with tears running down your face. I said nothing, just looked away. I couldn't say anything, I wasn't ready for a verbal battering, which is what I would surely get from Mr Perfect Gryffindor.
Then I felt his arms circling around me, drawing me into a hug. I clung to him for a couple of minutes until the tears had stopped. I pulled away from his embrace reluctantly. I quite enjoyed the feeling of being in his arms....no! stop it! Stop...oh hell!
"Thank you," I murmured. He smiled at me, and helped me up.
"No worries. So, what's wrong?" I just shook my head. "And don't tell me it's nothing. It must be something bad in order to make Ice Queen Draco Malfoy howl."
"I....I can't tell you. You wouldn't understand."
"Try me."
One look into those green eyes told me that I could tell him. And I must admit, I had to admire the way he was making the effort to talk to me, even though we haven't ever exactly seen eye to eye. Anyway, I told him everything. Well, not everything, I still had enough pride and self control left to conceal the fact that it was him I fancied. The silence that followed my outburst was making me feel uncomfortable again, and I risked a look at Harry, expecting to see horror and revulsion twisting his features. Instead, he was looking at me with sympathy and understanding.
"Sorry," I mumbled, still feeling extremely uneasy.
"Don't apologise, I know just what it feels like."
"What?" I was stunned. I was not expecting that! "You mean you're...?"
"Gay. Yes." he finished. "I went through it all last year. It wasn't easy, but I had Dumbledore to talk to, and Ron and Hermione. Probably a lot more support than you've had." I nodded. Everyone I knew seemed to have a revulsion towards homosexuals.
"Who did you realise you fancied, then?" I asked. He went bright red at these words. "Weasley?"
"No, erm, Seamus Finnigan," he replied, a shade too quickly. "You?"
"Wade Elliott," I lied. "The one who always sits opposite Pansy Parkinson in Potions. He nodded. I lost my nervousness as we talked for what must have been hours. And I found my admiration for him growing. His bravery and easy manner were starting to rub off on me, and I started feeling a lot better. Then we said goodbye. I walked back to the Slytherin common room feeling a lot happier than I had in ages. So happy, in fact, that I had lost the shame I was feeling after coming out of Snape's office and wanted to dance along the corridors singing "I am gay! And proud of it!"
That good mood evaporated when I entered the Slytherin common room. For a start, Pansy Parkinson latched herself on to me, and I could hear Crabbe and Goyle sniggering about the sweets they'd just nicked off a Hufflepuff first year. I settled down into an armchair by the fire, and was immediately surrounded by Pansy and her girlie gang. They were giggling about something. Wade Elliott also joined us.
"What's the matter now?" I sighed.
"Karl Broadhurst's just announced that he's gay!" Pansy shrieked. "Can you believe it! I'd die if it was one of my friends!"
"Bloody poof," grunted Goyle in my other ear. "If he tries it on with me I'll smack him one." I sniggered; the only thing likely to try it on with Goyle was a dead pigeon.
"I always liked Karl," whispered one of the girls to Pansy. "Now I don't want to even look at him."
"There's nothing wrong with being gay!" I yelled, without thinking. Their pathetic, bigoted comments were really getting to me. Some of the girls started giggling again. They always do. It should be made illegal. The rest just stared at me, and I started to panic. I could hear the rumbling that meant Crabbe was trying to string a relatively coherent sentence together.
"You're not...you know...are you?" he asked.
"Of course I bloody am!" I snapped, in what I hoped was a sarcastic tone, yanking my arm away from Pansy's death grip.
"What's the matter with you, Draco?" demanded Wade. "You've been all tetchy lately."
"Just tired, I guess," I lied. "I haven't been sleeping well lately." This was partly true; I had been losing some sleep over concerns about my sexuality, which was even harder to come to terms with when I was encountering homophobic reactions at every opportunity.
"Poor Drakie, what's wrong?" simpered Pansy, snuggling up to me.
"None of your fucking business!" I snarled, jumping up, dumping Pansy unceremoniously on the floor. She stared at me for a minute, hurt. I swept across the common room and ran up to my dormitory, jumping on my bed and burying my face in the pillows.
A few moments later, Wade came in.
"What is wrong with you!" he shouted. "You had no right to treat Pansy like that, she loves you, she deserves better treatment from her fiancee!" I shuddered at those words. We'd been betrothed ever since our birth.
"She loves me or my money?" I snapped back. Wade didn't have an answer to that.
"Come on, man, what's wrong? We're friends, aren't we? You can tell me."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
"You wouldn't understand. None of you would understand."