This chapter is a flashback to how Rey and Ben got together. We'll get back to the main story in the next chapter. Please review.
After Ben's abrupt departure, Rey hurried to finish the repairs on her ship. As she worked, her thoughts drifted back to how they'd arrived at this point, with the infamous Jedi killer worried about her.
After their union against the Praetorian Guard and the ensuing battle on Crait, the Force Bond between them had surprisingly continued. The first few times the connection happened they had spent the whole time yelling at each other. Each filled with disappointment and anger at how things had transpired. Rey was amazed that nobody had caught her arguing with empty air, as their new rebel base was not exactly large.
However, they soon realized this connection wasn't going to end. Both had grown tired of their repeated arguments and threats, each session felt like a carbon copy of the previous. So they resorted to simply ignoring each other, barely even acknowledging the other's presence.
This routine continued on for some time until one evening, Rey noticed that Ben seemed more tired and drained than normal. Usually, he would give her some sort of menacing glare before continuing on with whatever task was occupying him at that moment. On this occasion however, he didn't even glance up when the bond opened with the now familiar rush of senses that always hit them. As the bond had grown more enhanced lately, Rey could see he was sitting on the edge of his bed, his hands resting on the gray sheets on either side of his hips. Even though his face was partially obscured by his raven black hair, Rey could tell something was bothering him. His eyes were locked on the floor and his jaw was clenched so tight it must have hurt. Seeing him like this caused her curiosity to spike so she finally decided to break the ongoing silence and carefully asked, "What's wrong?"
"You wouldn't understand" He replied curtly, not even bothering to meet her gaze.
Rey felt a spike of anger at his response that caused her cheeks to flush. Here she was trying to make civil contact for once and he was blowing her off. "What? Did you not reach your desired kill count today? Can't decide which star system to wipe out next?" Rey replied mockingly. She was trying to get a rise out of him with those comments; she had plenty of experience dealing with an angry Ben and was preparing for an argument. But, she was surprised when he merely turned away from her, his shoulders appearing to sag even more. Startled by this reaction, Rey's anger vanished as quickly as it had come; this was not the Ben she was used to seeing. She set down the Jedi text she'd been reviewing and turned her complete focus towards him. Even though it was against her better judgment, she dropped her mental barriers and was surprised to find his almost non-existent. She reached through them with ease, but the multitude of conflicting emotions that hit her caused her to actually take a step back. Guilt was the most prominent of the feelings emanating from young sith lord; the intensity of it caused a wave of nausea to pass over her. Fear, loneliness, and sadness were all mixed in as well. Rey didn't know how he was able to stand it all.
"Ben..." She said softly, taking a couple of steps forward and subconsciously reaching out for him.
"Just leave me alone!" He spanned harshly at her.
Rey stopped, drawing her hand back. "I've never felt those emotions from you before. I didn't know Dark side users..." She started, but decided against it and began to turn away from him.
"Ever since Snoke's death, it's gotten harder for me to access the Dark side as fully." Ben spoke suddenly. "It's still very much a part of me, but it doesn't drive me like it used to. I think Snoke was feeding the Darkness inside of me to control my thoughts easier." He shifted around to face her and Rey could see he was almost as surprised as she was at what he was telling her.
"He must have been suppressing certain emotions as well and now they're reemerging. The guilt at my past actions it's…..getting hard to deal with." His voice seemed dangerously close to breaking as he spoke.
"Is there...someone you can talk to on your ship?" Rey asked cautiously, unsure what to make of this new development. Could this be a trick of sorts?
Ben let out a heartless laugh as he pushed off the bed and stood to face her. "You're kidding, right? Being the Supreme Leader, I don't have the luxury of friends. You can't understand what that feels like."
Rey was quiet for a while as she contemplated his words. When she'd lived on Jakku, there was no one she could turn to. Her life had been about simply surviving from one moment to the next in the harshest of environments. Working long, scorching days to get the smallest of portions that couldn't begin to satiate her hunger. Often having to fight to protect her scraps or her honor against the thugs who thought they could have their way with her. There were countless nights where she would have given anything for some much needed company.
She was lucky to have a few good friends now, especially Finn and Rose. They made her laugh, were easy to talk to, and cared deeply about her. But, as she considered it, she realized there was still a loneliness lurking below the surface that she hadn't wanted to face. None of them could ever fully understand what it had been like to truly be alone in life.
When she glanced back at Ben there was a new tenderness in his eyes as he gazed at her. She realized that she'd forgotten to put her mental walls back up after reading him so he had experienced her memories and thoughts as well.
"Maybe we're more alike than we both realized." He said thoughtfully.
After that night, the dynamic shifted between them. They started talking and confiding in one another, providing much needed companionship. Over time, they learned how to control the bond and soon either could initiate it whenever needed, or desired.
Ben started giving her some basic training and advice on Force use and fighting styles. He even assisted her in building a new lightsaber. In return, Rey helped give Ben the strength to deal with his conflicted feelings and emotions that had been long buried.
After many shared evenings, they both had to admit their feelings ran deeper than friendship. Something in the Force seemed to be pulling them together like a magnet. They started longing for the day when they could finally put an end to this war and be together.