20th October 2012 days left 536.
I had that dream again last night.
I am lying in my bed asleep when the light from the window wakes me gently. I feel weird my body feels smaller my, I feel colder. Then something moves against me, something warm and soft, my eyes shoot open and I look down I see a woman's body pressed up against me, her hair is a mass of brown curls and her face is pressed up against my bare chest. My bare chest, no fur, and just human skin my hands are human to. This seems too good to be true I'm human and I must assume that this woman who is here with must love me and I must love her. The heads starts to move, to look up at my mine, but before I cans see her face; the dream ends.
It's my birthday today, I am 22 years old today, and it feels much longer. I had been drawing last night until it was quite late and didn't wake up until about 10 o'clock. I get out of my bed, and shake myself down, I discovered that having as show every day is rather impossible, I end up looking and smelling like a wet dog for hours, brushing the hair presents much similar problems, so I do that once a week, boring I know but hay that's what my life's like. I get dressed, jeans and a t-shirt, brought from some off brand store for "uniquely sized people", yeah I should mention I about 8 foot tall now and proportionally as wide.
I walk over to the window, for some reason and open the curtains; my room is at the front of the house. I can see Peter's car is here, he moved out about 4 years ago after he got married, he's still employed as my tutor so he comes round most days for "lessons" though he's longing for something more I can tell, but I think he stays out of loyalty. He had a child about a year ago, a little girl called Laura, he brought her round a couple of times but, I asked him to stop it because I'm uneasy around anything which can bring on a stressful situation. Any way I could see just beyond the top of the garden to the drive beyond the wall (built ten years ago to keep people out) I think I can see a car or a van it's quite big and bright orange. I just shake my head at it and walk down stairs.
They're both where I expect to find them in the kitchen, it seems, that my time is spent between one of three rooms; mine bedroom, the library or the kitchen. The kitchen is pretty far out from the rest of the rooms; technically it was part of the servant's quarters when the house was in full use but like that matters now. So they're both sitting at the main table both cup of tea in their hands and a plate of Mrs Jacobs homemade biscuits in the middle of them.
"Alex your up, happy birthday" Says Peter cheerily, as I walk in to the kitchen.
"Cup of tea, Alex darling" asks Mrs Jacobs in her soft motherly way.
"Just a coffee for me" I say as I walk over to kettle getting out my mug and the coffee. When the coffee is done, I go to the table and join them, Mrs Jacobs pushes the plate of biscuits towards me, double chocolate chip cookies my favourite. I place a smile on my face and start snacking on them.
"So what's the plan for the day" asks Peter
"The usual, talk with you till lunchtime, have lunch, go for a walk around the grounds, go library and read for a bit, have dinner, then go to my room and draw. The usual." I say very honestly because we know that it's the truth as it is, every day is the same, for all of us and we all wish it would change. And the day starts exactly as I said it would, then we sit and talk in kitchen till Mrs Jacobs gets and makes some sandwiches , we sit talk a little more until I'm about to get then I remember the thing I saw this morning.
"Peter, you didn't see a car near the wall this morning did you?"
"No, why?"
"I just thought I saw something this morning, it's nothing. Anyway I'm going for a walk." I say getting up and exiting though the back door.
I take a walk every day; I just need to get out of the house to feel the breeze and fresh air. I think has something to with the fact I'm more animal than human now. There's a chill in the air today, I may need to start wearing longer shirts. Today I walk round to the front of the house, the car is still in my mind I'm walking by the trees at the wall (another addition from my father to keep the world out). I can smell the stench of the dying leaves in the air; all of my senses were heightened in the transformation, between that strength and the lack of feeling the cold there are some perks of being a beast.
As I start to come up on the gate to the grounds, I stop there is a van a bright orange camper van, it must have parked up after Peter got here this morning. I'm about to try and walk past, when I see her. She walking up and down the gate, like she was trying to figure a way to get in, I knew the lock was coded with a code which means nothing at all. She shouldn't be able to get in short of climbing the gate, which much to my surprise she starts to do the gate, it's 20 foot high she shouldn't be able to climb and get down without falling and hurting herself. And if she does I don't know what I'd be able to do to help her.
She gets to the top of the gate, without much difficultly, but as she starts to come down one of the heels on her boots missis a step. She doesn't regain her balance quickly enough and she's start to fall to the ground, my senses start to kick and rush to catch before she falls. I'm able to catch before she hits the ground, for one second my heart stops beating, she's seen me I'm mean I'm holding her eyes are wide open she can see me. Then her eyes begin to roll back into her head and her body goes limp. She's fainted I don't know what to do; I mean I don't even know who she is. Well that's a lie I know exactly who it is I'm just not letting myself to believe that it is her. But her face, an older slimmer version of it, her hair is still a crazy mass of chocolate curls, it is Rose it has to be her who else who could it be. I carry her up to the house and into the kitchen, Peter and Mrs Jacobs both stand up and rush over.
"What, where, how, who?" Peter says struggling with this idea. While Mrs Jacobs comes over to check her.
"Is that really her?" asks Mrs Jacobs clearly recognizing her too.
"I'm not sure, but I think it. I mean look at her." I answer as Mrs Jacobs dives into her pockets and find a purse, a phone and a half eaten packet of mints. She opens up the purse and finds a driving licence which confirms what we are thinking. It's Rose, beautiful Rose. Mrs Jacobs's hands the licence to Peter his face goes white.
"What do we do?" I say scared.
"We need to lie on the bed, follow me." Mrs Jacobs answers and starts walking off in one direction, I follow her she takes me to one of the old servant's rooms, her mother's room to precise. I lay her on the bed fully clothed. I didn't realize before but her body has shaped into a women's, no I mustn't think like that, but Rose is beautiful there's nothing that can change that. I stand their looking at her for a moment till Mrs Jacobs shoos me out.
Peter is standing outside the door, "Come with me, I think I know what you need." I follow him as he walks up into the main part of the house when he comes to a stop; it's a room I haven't been in for years, my father's study.
"No, I can't go in their Pete,"
"Look, considering what's happened I think you can." He opens the door and leads me, this room still holds far to memories for me but I go in. Peter goes into the room and over to the desk, where he finds a bottle of some alcohol. Pours out two glasses and hands one to me then sits down on one of the chairs and I join him.
"So Rose then," he says
"Look it's just a shock to see her again, it's been so long and so much has changed." I say looking down at my glass.
"Yeah, but the way you two were when you were children. Every one that you two were going to get married, heck even you father thought so."
"Well we know that's not going to happen. You saw her; she's most likely got a boyfriend or something." I put the drink down and got up to leave.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"To the library, look Rose will wake up soon Mrs Jacobs will see if she's find, most likely feed her and send her on her way. What's the point in doing anything different?" I say leaving the room.
I walk down the corridor to the library where I begin looking for a book, what book I'm unsure, I just need to be on my own for a while to just, and I don't. In the last ten years I've read a lot but I'm still to even make a mark on the number of books that this library holds. I start to walk over to the book shelves nearest window, these shelves contain books that I have brought over the last few years. I don't know why, I not even going to read to day. Then I hear the door open.
I shoot around and face the door. It's Rose she stands, there staring straight at me, her face is not one of fear, but perhaps nerves. Oh I don't I frozen by her stare.
"..Alex?" She says unsure as she walks up toward me, in her violet eyes, I do see fear, but this the same women who less than an hour ago climbed a twenty foot fence. I turn my face away from her slightly. But she still comes up to me and touches my arm and I can't look at her. "Alex, I know it's you, come on I know you."
"I've changed." I say to the widow.
"No one changes that much, your eyes are still the same, that's how I knew it was you." She says which causes my head to turn to look at her. She had a sad smile on her. "Hello, Alex."
"Hi"
"God, this is hard isn't, you'd think that this would be easier, we used to be so close." She says, I give a small laugh and she does to.
"Rose, look I'm sorry I couldn't tell you, my father." I try and explain.
"Alex, when I saw you, I worked it out."
"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you when it happened. My father wouldn't let me leave the room till everyone had left."
"its okay, Alex can I ask you something."
"What?"
"Can I stay here with you?"
"…what?"
"Look I can't find a job, let alone a flat and I don't want to be a burden on my family, look I know this sound stupid I just need time to get my head straight and find a job."
"What kind of job are you looking for?"
"Oh, I want to be a writer, but I'll take anything even connected with writing now."
"You were always a good storyteller. You can stay, go talk to Mrs Jacobs, she'll find you a room."
"Thanks I'll get my stuff from my van." She squeezes my arm then walks to the door to leave before turning at the last minute. "Oh and Alex, happy Birthday" and then she's gone.
What have I let myself in for?
AN/ Am I moving too fast? I just want to get to the middle of the stories as that's where I seem to run out of ideas.
Anyway I realised that I didn't name him last time so his name is Alex, which is short for Alexander, yeah I'm crap at name people.
Oh yeah I'm British, so I guess it's set here.
Please review.