Kronos: so what are these damn books we have to read
*Athena notices a package in the middle of the room*
Athena:I think the books are in that box over there
Ares: well go on go get the fucking thing Theen Theen
*Snickers from The Titans and Hermes and Apollo are heard while Athena glared murderously at Ares*
Athena: . .ME THEEN THEEN! * the room shook*
Zeus: Alright Alright enough of this bickering open the damn package and see what we will be wasting….i mean Spending time reading (noting his wife glaring at him)
Hyperion whispering Oceanus: somebodies whipped *snickers* * unfortunetly Zeus Heard and shot a bolt of lightning at their feet , and being taken by surprise they jump and glare at the king of the gods who likewise glared back*
Athena: it says Percy Jackson & The Olympians : The Lightning Thief, Sea of Monsters,The Titans Curse, Battle of The Labrinyth,The Last Olympian *The Titans Eyes lit up on that one*
Athena: well I guess we…. ( she was cut off by Kronos)
Kronos: Last Olympian you say *evily Smirking while Athena Rolled her eyes*
Zeus:who will read first?
Hermes:I Believe I will inaugurate this fine ceremony * winked at the ladies who rolled their eyes, while Apollo snickered*
I accidently vaporize My Pre-Algebra Teacher
The titans bust out laughing
Kronos:this should be interesting*smirking like a killer*
Look I Didn't Want to be a Half Blood
If your reading this because you think you might be one, my Advice is close this book Immediately, and believe whatever lie your mom or dad tells you about birth,and try to lead a normal life.
Being a Half-Blood is dangerous
Kronos: HA! Try being a Titan boy!
Zeus: I think King of the Gods is much more Harder
Kronos: I disagree Son ( he said through gritted teeth)
Zeus: DON' . . !
Kronos:I JUST DID!
*before the Kings of the Titans & Gods started a whole new War in the Throne room Hermes wisely decided to read*
Its scary
Most of the time, it gets you killed in painful, nasty ways
If you're a normal kid reading this because you think its fiction,great I envy you to keep believing that none of this ever happened.
But if you recognize yourself in these Pages-if you feel something stirring inside of you-stop reading immediately-you might be one of us, and once you know that it wont be long before they come for you.
*Ares yawned*
Ares: Booooooooooooring this book needs some action
Athena: were only in the first few paragraphs genious * rolls her eyes*
Apollo: * gasps* did Athena just say ares was a genious….IT MUST BE SNOWING IN HADES, it…
*he was cut off by hades who was glaring deathly at him*
Or snowing in a place it doesn't normally snow *he gulped nervously*
*Artemis whacked him in the head*
Don't say I didn't warn you
Kronos: we are the most powerful race of being in the universe, I don't have anything to fear!
Zeus: except me
Hades:and me
Poseidon; and me…
*he was cut off by the Titans Laughter at their remarks, but little do they know what will happen when the Titans return to their time….*
My name is Percy Jackson
Im twelve years a few months ago,I was at a boarding school called Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York.
Am I a troubled kid?
Yeah,you could say that
*snickers were heard around the room*
I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last may, when our sixth grade class went on a field trip to Manhattan-twenty eight-mental cased kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at Ancient Greek and Roman stuff.
Athena: that sounds very interesting
Poseidon: yeah of course you'd think so
*cue snicking from some gods and some Titans*
Athena: ill have you know Poseidon that I can throw a knive faster than you can say….AHHHHHHH
*a barge of water was thrown her way *
Athena:POSEIDON!
Poseidon: that wasn't me *looks accusingly at Oceanus*
Oceanus: hehehehe what cant Titans have a little fun hahahahaha
All Olympians shouted: NO!
Oceanus: bunch buzz kills * he whispered*
I know it sounds like torture. Most Yancy field trips were. But our Latin teacher, was leading this trip,so I had hopes.
Zeus: sounds familiar
Apollo: oh yeah just like the night you were drunk and went galavanting with a couple Nymphs after the Winter Solstice...*cue lightning strike* OUCH *he squeaked out*
Hera: oh really? And uh where was I when this little ''Galavantation'' was going on?
*Hera glared at Zeus*
Zeus: Well…uh…you see…..
*trying to make up a cover story*
Hera: RHETORICAL! I DON'T FUCKING CARE WHERE I WAS YOU WERE OUT WITH MORE WOMEN YET AGAIN!
*Zeus shrunk down into his throne and muttered some words that sounded like; mommy …need you here ….. protect me*
Mr Brunner was this middle aged guy in a motorized wheelchair. He had thinning hair and a scruffy beard and a frayed tweed jacket, which always smelled like coffee.
Hermes and Apollo shouted:ITS CHIRON!
Kronos: my other son?
Zeus: *sighs* yes dad your other son, you one you bored with another woman besides mom
Hera: oh please, although I had no love for dad cause he ate us, compared to you dad was a Loyal Husband to our mom.
Zeus: . * his eyes glowed*
*Hera walked up to him and got in his face*
Hera: I SAID DAD HAS A BETTER GRASP OF LOYALTY THAN YOU DO! *Hera screamed at him*
*Zeus was outraged, so he grabbed Hera by the throat , made chains appear and wrap around her arms and legs and tie her to the ceiling*
Hera:AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LET ME DOWN LET ME DOWN!
Zeus:*Screaming to her* MAYBE NEXT TIME YOUR CHOOSE YOUR WORDS MORE FUCKING WISELY!*
Iapetus to the other Titans: like father like son
*they snickered together until Kronos turned around and gathered at them*
You wouldn't think he'd be cool, but he told stories and jokes and let us play games in class/he also had this awesome collection of Roman armor and weapons, so he was the only teacher whose class didn't put me to sleep.
Athena:tsk tsk tsk should not sleep in class, for shame percy Jackson, for shame!
Demeter: maybe he needs some Cereal? Frosted flakes?
Hades: damn it woman! I thought you had gotten off that crap!
Demeter: no any as long as you have my precious baby Persephone I will keep bringing it up *she snarked at Hades who just rolled his eyes*
I hoped the trip would be least, I hoped for once I wouldn't get in trouble.
Boy,was I wrong.
See,bad things happen to me on field my fifth-grade school,when we went to the Saratoga battlefield,I had this accident with a Revolutionary War cannon.I wasn't aiming for the school bus,but of course I got expelled anyway.
Everyone in the Olympian throne room was laughing including Titans
Hermes: this kid is the coolest ive ever heard about
Apollo:but certainly not the brightest
*badum tsee*
Everyone looked at him
Apollo: no…nothing….not even a chuckle* he looked around and then he got an expression of anger* Screw you that was funny.
*Artemis rolled her eyes at her brother*
And before that,at my fourth-grade school,when we took a behind-the-scenes tour of the marine World shark pool, I sort of hit the wrong lever on the catwalk and our whole class took an unplanned swim.
More laughter erupted
Hermes: okay this kid is Primed to be the Master of Dieaster
Apollo: Hades yeah * cue glare form you-know-who*
Everyone laughed even harder at Apollo's expression except Dionysus who was sleeping, and this didn't go unnoticed by Zeus
Zeus: Dionysus wake your Godly butt up!
No Response
Zeus kept doing this for several minutes until he made a loaf of wonder bread appear so he threw it at him, knocking Dionysus out of his throne and at the feet of Kronos, who smirked down at him while he groaned
And the time before that… well you get the idea.
This trip, was determined to be good
All the way into the city,I put up with Nancy Bobofit,the freckly,redheaded kleptomaniac girl,hitting my best friend grover in the back of the head with chunks of peanut butter-and-ketchup sandwich.
Aphrodite,Demeter,Hera and Artemis all looked green,while the rest didn't look much better either.
Grover was an easy was cried when he got must've been held back several grades,because he was the only sixth grader with acne and the start of a wispy beard on his top of all that,he was crippled.
He had a note excusing him from PE for the rest of his life because he had some kind of muscular disease in his walked funny,like every step hurt him,but don't let that fool should of seen him run when it was enchilada day in the cafeteria.
Dionysus: SATYR! *Dionysus screamed*
Starling everyone then glared at him
Zeus: why did you scream like that Dionysus *glaring hardest*
Dionysus:its fun taking you guys by surprise * he said chuckling at the faces he was getting from the other gods*
Anyway,Nancy Bobofit was throwing wads of sandwich that stuck in his curly brown hair,and she knew I couldn't do anything back to her because I was already on headmaster threatened me with death by in-school suspension if anything bad,embarrassing or even mildy entertaining happened on this trip.
''Im going to Kill her, I mumbled
Ares: YEAH DO IT! BLOODSHED BLOODSHED BLODSHE….
Hera:ARES! SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP
Ares: someones on her period today *he mumbled but hera heard him and glared*
Grover tried to calm me down.''its okay I like peanut butter.''
Aphrodite: but not in your hair BLEH! *aphrosite shrieked*
Artemis:for once I agree with thousand year old Barbie
Aphrodite: aww see artemis sees…..hey wait a minute you insulted me
Artemis: gee Aphrodite what gave you that idea
Aphrodite glared at her until Hepheastus comforted her, while Ares glared at him
He dodged another piece of Nancy's lunch.
''That's it.'' I started to get up,but grover pulled me back to my seat
Ares: Damn it Satyr let him kick her ass!
Aphrodite looked appalled
Aphrodite: you would actually incourage him to hit a girl
Ares: hey she is picking on him, and throwing crap at him and she is the one who started the controversy so technically in his defense he would be showing self defense against her so there wouldn't be any wrong being done.
Kronos: are you sure you're a war god?
The Titans bursted out laughing along with a few Olympian gods, but Ares looked enraged
Ares: YES IM A FUCKING WAR GOD AND A DAMN GOOD ONE TOO AND AT LEAST I WASN'T CUT TO PIECES BY MY OWN SCYTHE BY MY OWN SON!
The Titans stopped laughing and stared glaring at Ares
Kronos looking like he was ready to murder him but not even Kronos could defy them at least not without paying the consequences.
Kronos: thank your lucky stars the fates forbade me from hurting any of you, other wise I would be ripping open your innerds, carving out your eyeballs, chopping off your toes and fingers, drilling a hole slowly across your brain, and then ripping out your tongue then grinding them up into meat and force feeding it to you. *he said still glaring at Ares for a low blow remark*
All of the Olympians Gulped, and Kronos noticed this and smirked
''Your already on probation,''he reminded me.''You know who'll get blamed if anything happens.''
Looking back on it, I wish I'd decked Nancy Bobofit right then and there. In school suspension would've been nothing compared to the mess I was about to get myself into.
Mr. Brunner led the museum tour
He rode up front in his wheel chair, guiding us through the big echoey galleries,past marble statues and glass cases full of really old black-and-orange pottery.
It blew my mind that this stuff has survived for two thousand , three thousand years.
''HA! Way longer than that boy'' * Kronos and Zeus said at the same time and just stared at eachother*
He gathered us around a thirteen-foot-tall stone column with a big sphinx on the top,and started telling us how it was a grave marker,a stele,for a girl about our told us about the carvings on the sides.I was trying to listen to what he had to say,because it was kind of interesting,but everybody around me was talking,and every time I told them to shut up, the other teacher chaperone,Mrs Doodds,would give me the evil eye.
Hades: sounds like one of my…er nevermind
Zeus: one of your what Hades?
Hades: nothing ok lets just drop it
Zeus:do you know something brother? *he stared accusingly at hades*
Hades: NO NO NO AND NO!
Zeus: I will find out if you are *glaring at Hades who did the same right back*
was little little math teacher from Georgia who always wore a black leather jacket,even though she was fifty years looked mean enough to ride a Harley right into your locker.
The Titans snickered
Kronos: sounds like something Atlas would do
Hyperion:Yeah or my son Helios the FIRST! Sun god * glaring at Apollo*
Iapetus: yeah my sons are wild and wreckless…that's what I love about them
Crius: excuse me but don't you think I would be more suited for…..
Hyperion:please Crius you can even open a jar of pickles by yourself with crying about how hard it is
Crius: Hey its not my fault they make them so Titans damn tight!
Kronos: somebody needs masculinity lessons*whispered to Oceanus who snickered behind his hand*
The Olympians watched in amusement as their Father and Uncles bickered and gossiped
She had come to Yancy halfway through the year when our last math teacher had a nervous breakdown.
From her first day, loved Nancy Bobofit and figured I was devil would point her crooked finger at me and say, ''now,honey''real sweet,and I knew I was going to get after-school detention for a month.
Hermes and Apollo Groaned
Hermes:ugh that sounds like torture
Apollo: you said it brother
Ares: you guys ae such Nerdy McAirheads
Hermes:oh yeah well you're a Idiot McDumbass
Ares:ooooh terrible insult im so hurt *sarcastically speaking*
Apollo: okay how about this a one eyed weasel with 3 balls, who just got a prostate exam from wolverine, and lurks in dark alleys fighting stray dogs for cold French fries because nobody likes him.
The Olympian council cracked up at that except Ares and Artemis who thought ' how is this dunce my brother'
Ares:that is so fucking funny not even insulting at all
Apollo: oh hot about this * snapped his fingers and ares seat rose to the tempture of the sun*/
Ares:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW! APOLLO! *He got up and chased Apollo out of the throne room*
Zeus waved to Hermes to continue reading
One time,after she'd made me erase answers out of old math workbooks until midnight,I told Grover I didn't think was looked at me,real serious,and said,''You're Absolutely right''
kept talking about Greek funeral art.
Finally, Nancy Bobofit snickered something about the naked guy on the stele-
Dionysus: girls are always like that when theyre at that stage in life
Zeus looked at his son weirdly
Zeus:how would you know
Dionysus: you sent me down to earth to look after those brats
Every Olympian with kids glared at him
Dionysus sniffed
Dionysus:what?
And I turned around and said,''Will you shut up?''
It came out louder than I meant it to.
The whole group laughed. stopped his story. '' ,''he said, ''Did you have a comment?''
My face was totally red. I said, ''No, sir''
pointed to one of the pictures on the stele.''Perhaps you'll tell us what this picture represents?''
Zeus,Poseidon,Hades,Hera and Demeter groaned knowing what it was a picture of
Kronos: hey it wasn't pleasant for me either so stop whining
They all glared at him
I looked at the carving,and felt a flush of relief,because I actually recognized it. '' That's Kronos eating his kids, right?''
Everyone involved in that incident shuddered
Poseidon:why did you eat us dad!
Kronos:I was trying to protect my reign, just like I know full well you all especially you*pointing his Scythe at Zeus* would.
Zeus: I wouldn't eat my Heirs and besides it hasn't happened and I did a much better job of preventing it than you did.
Hades: yeah I don't think eating your children resolves the matter cause I mean we were still alive when you ate us, and we were just bouncing around inside your stomach so you basically just gave us a Dark,warm place for us to get to know one another instead of killing us.
Demeter: I don't know where you guys were but I personally thought it was disgusting, I mean it was gooey everywhere* Demeter whined*
Hera: it was not cosy at all, it was dark smelly and really slimy * shudders more*
Hestia: I for one did not think that was a very smart way to preserve your throne father I think you could of made it so that we all could live but never to stage a coup, but you didn't and that's why you lost the war,your throne,your body,your power,and your reign, your didn't plan it out well enough, not saying I would of wanted you to rule but you just weren't a great dad and no child should every suffer the way we did.
Kronos stared at Hestia
Kronos: you really remind of your mother when you said that
Hestia blushed
Hestia: I am her daughter
The other children of Kronos stared at Hestia in shock, no one had ever been that way with Kronos before. I guess when your as nice as Hestia you tend to open your heart out and spread happiness.
''Yes,'' said,Obviously not satisfied.''and he did this because …''
''Well…'' I racked my brain to remember. ''Kronos was king god, and-''
Both Gods and Titans were angry at this
Kronos gritted his teeth
Kronos:DID THAT LITTLE CRETIN DARE CALL ME A GOD!
Hyperion:that is a huge mistake and he better than his lucky bucks hes not here right now
Oceanus: Like Kronos would ever sink down to the Levels of a God
Poseidon:and what is that supposed to mean Asswipe?
Oceanus turned to a glaring Poseidon and glared back
Oceanus: what I said Water Chicken
Zeus: ha! You wish you were as cool as us father
Kronos: im not in this to be cooler besides everyone knows im much more powerful than you all put together.
That's when Hades broke loose, Weapons out, Goddesses calling for peace, angry father staring down and angry son, Sun deities throwing fire balls and chasing eachother, Water fights between the water deites, until Hestia intervened
Hestia: STOP IT NOW!
Everyone stopped and looked at her
Hestia: the fates do not want you guys to fight, we are here to just read books now can we try and be calm and get through this without any problems?
Kronos and Zeus's glares softened
Zeus: I suppose we could but I doubt it will last long
Kronos: I have no doubt it wont last long
Everyone recomposed themselves
Hestia: now Hermes please continue
''God?'' asked?.
''Titan,'' I corrected myself. ''And … he didn't trust his kids, who were the gods. So um, Kronos ate them, right? But his wife hid baby Zeus,
Kronos' eyes when wide 'Rhea betrayed me'
Zeus smirked knowing what he was thinking
And gave Kronos a rock to eat later, when Zeus grew up, he tricked his dad,Kronos into barfing up his brothers and sisters-''
Kronos growled and wanted to attack Zeus but his Brothers held him down,and the fates told him not to .
While The Olympians gave Zeus a silent thank you. While Zeus smirked at a struggling Kronos.
''Eeew!'' said one of the girls behind me.
Demeter,Hera and Hestia: Eww is right''
''-and so there this big fight between the gods and titans,'' I continued '' and the gods won''
The Titans looked outraged
Hyperion: How on earth can a bunch of petty pathetic nothings of deities ever win against war primed superior powered superbeings of the universe?
Oceanus: NOOOOOOOOOOO I CAN LOSE MY DOMAIN!
Zeus:Actually Oceanus you remained Neutral
Oceanus calmed down and smiled
Oceanus:oh ok
Meanwhile the other Titans glared at him
Iapetus: why don't you join the fight
Crius:yeah were your brothers
Coeus:yeah you would actually sit on the sidelines and watch your kin be demolished by Younger Generationals?
Kronos:well now that we know what will happen when we go back, I can change the course of the war *smiled evily until a noted floating to him*
Kronos,
Everything will go as planned you are not to disrupt the course of events and if you do you'll be sorry and beg to just be thrown into tartarus chopped up
Sincerely, The Fates.
Kronos Wailed in Outrage
Some snickers from the group.
Behind me, Nancy Bobofit mumbled to a friend,''like were going to use this in real its going to say on our job applications, 'explain why Kronos ate his kids' ''
''and why Mr,Jackson,''Brunner said''to Paraphrase Miss Bobofit's excellent question,does this matter in real life?''
''Busted.'' Grover muttered
''Shut up,'' Nancy hissed, her face even brighter red than her hair.
At least Nancy got packed, .Brunner was the only one who ever caught her saying anything had radar ears.
*Hermes:Cough*Horse ears*cough*
Zeus raised an eyebrow
I thought about his question,and I shrugged.''I don't know sir.''
''I see.'' looked disappointed.''well,half credit, .Zeus did indeed feed Kronos a mixture of mustard and wine,which made him disgorge his other five children,who,of course,being Immortal gods,had been been living and growing up completely undigested in the titans gods defeated their father,sliced him to pieces with his own Scythe,and scattered his remains in Tartarus, the darkest part of the that happy note,its time for .Dodds,would you lead us back outside?''
Demeter: umm in what Universe is that a happy note?
Athena: it is a metaphor tha-
Ares: okay we get it Athena its not what it seems,we don't need the Christmas Special (lol cause Christmas is tomorrow XD)
Athena glared at Ares
The class drifted off, the girls holding their stomachs, the guys pushing eachother around and acting like doofuses.
Artemis rolled her eyes ' males'
Grover and I were about to follow when said,'' ''
I knew that was coming.
Apollo: hmmm he knew it was coming, maybe hes a legacy of me
Poseidon glared at him knowing that Percy is his son.
I told Grover to keep I turned toward . ''Sir?''
had this look that wouldn't let you go- intense brown eyes that could've been a thousand years old and had seen everything,
Athena: hes older than a thousand and he probably has seen everything….who knows *smiling cause she is fond of this Centaur*
''You must learn the answer to my question,'' told me
''About the Titans?''
''About real how your studies apply to it''
''Oh.''
''what you learn from me,'' he said ''is vitally important. I expect you to treat it as such. I will accept only the best from you, Percy Jackson.''
I wanted to get angry, this guy pushed me so hard.
''It's the best way to learn'' Ares and Athena stated at the same time, they looked at eachother and glared
I mean sure,it was kind of cool on tournament days,when he dressed up in a suit of Roman armor and shouted:''What ho!'' and challenged us,sword point against chalk, to run to the board and name every Greek and Roman person who ever lived,amd their mother, and what god they worshipped.
The Olympians mouths were open
'I don't think even we could do that let alone kids' Athena thought
But expected me to be as good as everybody else,despite the fact that I have dyslexia and attention deficit disorder and I had never made about a C- in my life No-didn't expect me to be as good; he expected me to be I just couldn't learn all those names and facts, much less spell them correctly.
I mumbled something about trying harder,while took one long sad look at the stele,like he'd been at this girls funeral.
Demeter:probably had been
Aphrodite: its very depressing about how when we gods truly love someone of the mortal world and they love us but don't know were gods/goddesses its sad because as they die and never return to this world again while we Immortals resume life for all Eternity.
Athena:wow im inpressed Aphrodite, you actually know some big words there
Aphrodite glared at her
Aphrodite: of course I know words which words surprised you * still glaring*
Athena: lets see Immortals, Eternity,Resume,and Depressing
Aphrodite walked over and stepped on Athenas foot for mocking her
Athena: you little Bi-
Zeus: ATHENA!
Athena :sorry father *she grumbled*
He told me to go outside and eat my lunch.
The class gathered on the front steps of the museum, where we could watch the foot traffic along fifth avenue.
''BOOOOOORING!'' The Titans Chorused
Aphrodite: whats worng with fifth avenue *she glared at them
Kronos: I may not be from this time but even I know foot traffic would be boring
Dionysus: I agree
Zeus glared at his son
Overhead, a huge storm was brewing, with clouds blacker than I'd ever seen over the city. I figured maybe it was global warming or something,because the weather all across New York state had been weird since Christmas.
We'd had massive snow storms,flooding,wildfires from lightning strikes,I wouldn't have been surprised if this was a hurricane blowing in.
Oceanus: I can make those
Poseidon: really?
Oceanus:yes really you little sea dinch
Poseidon: oh you wanna know how big mine can get
Oceanus: Bring it on little god .ON!
Hurricane winds picked up in the throne room, Gusts of wind circling around both Oceanus and Poseidon making the procedures much more powerful coming from two sea Deities. Everyone was either hiding,gripping their thrones or being tossed in the air by the storn winds.
Zeus: ENOUGH!
Lightning came down on both Oceanus and Poseidon
Both:HEY!
Zeus:Continue reading * in a dangerously low voice*
Nobody else seemed to of the guys were pelting pigeons with lunchables Bobofit was trying to pickpocket something from a lady's purse,and,of course wasn't seeing a thing.
Hades: mmmm….she really sounds familiar I cant put my finger on it
This of course didn't go unnoticed by Zeus
Zeus: anything you want to share brother
Hade: Nope *he said smirking making steam come out of Zeus' ears*
Grover and I sat on the edge of the fountain, away form the others. We thought that maybe if we did that,everybody wouldn't know we were from that school –the school for loser freaks who couldn't make it elsewhere
"Detention?'' Grover asked
"Nah" I said. "Not from Mr. Brunner. I just wish he'd lay off me sometimes. I mean im not a genious."
Grover didn't say anything for a while. Then when I thought he was going to give me some deep philosophical comment to make me feel better, he said."Can I have our apple?"
Dionysus snickered
I didn't have much of an appetite, so I let him take it.
I watched the stream of cabs going down Fifth Avenue, and thought about my mom's apartment, only a little ways uptown from where we sat. I hadn't seen her since Christmas. I wanted so to jump in a taxi and head home. She'd hug me and be glad to see me,
Hera smiled then glared at her sons
Hera: any reason you two don't do that
Ares: Im the God of War,
Hephaestus: your threw me off a damn mountain
They said at the same time
Hera huffed and sat back in her throne
But she'd be disappointed too. She'd send me right back to Yancy, remind me that I had to try harder, even if this was my sixth school in six years and I was probably going to be kicked out again. I wouldn't be able to stand that sad look she'd give me.
The Goddesses smiled
parked his wheelchair at the base of the handicapped ate celery while reading a paperback novel.a red umbrella stuck up from the back of his chair,making it look like a motorized café table.
Hephaestus pondered about this
''Motorized café table, interesting'' then he took out a notepad and wrote the idea down smiling.
I was about to unwrap my sandwich when Nancy Bobofit appeared in front of me with her ugly friends- I guess she'd gotten tired of stealing from tourists-and dumped her half eaten lunch in Grovers lap.
Dionysus: why that little….
Zeus: shut it Dionysus
Dionysus huffed and puffed then picked up a magazine
The Titans Laughed silently
"Oops." She grinned at me with her crooked teeth. Her freckles were orange,as if somebody sprayed her face with liquid cheetos.
Aphrodite looked horrified
I tried to stay school counselor had told me a million times," count to ten, control your temper." But I was so mad my mind went blank. A Wave roared in my ears.
Poseidon beamed with pride at his Son, though he thought 'why hadn't he talked about him earlier instead of letting everyone find out like this.'
I don't remember touching her, but the next thing I knew,Nancy was sitting on her butt in the fountain, screaming, "Percy pushed me!"
materialized next to us.
Some of the kids were whispering: "Did you see-"
"-the water-"
"-like it grabbed her-"
Zeus: POSEIDON YOU -
Poseidon: Shut up Zeus, don't you dare start lecturing me on how I broek the oath you broke it fist and you broke it twice so you have no right yelling at me over something hypercritical done by you.
Zeus and the others were speechless, while Hera fumed being reminded of the yet again infidelity of her Husband.
I didn't know what they were talking I knew what that I was in trouble again.
As soon as was sure poor Nancy was okay, promising to get her a new shirt at the Museum gift shop,etc.,etc., turned on me. There was a triumphant fire in her eye, as if id done something she'd been waiting for all semester."Now, Honey-"
"I know," I grumbled. " A month erasing workbooks."
That wasn't the right thing to say.
Kronos snorted: No shit Sea ass
Poseidon glared at his father
.
Kronos: Never! *He snarled*
"Come with me." said.
"Wait!." Grover yelped. " It was me. I pushed her."
I stared at him,stunned.I couldn't believe he was trying to cover for me. scared Grover to death.
Hades mumbled: Shes not Thanatos but she can make your crap yourself * then he started chuckling*
Zeus looked over and glared 'something he isn't telling me, im gonan find out'
She glared at him so hard his whiskery chin trembled.
"I don't think so, ." she said
"But-"
"You-will-stay-here."
Grover looked at me desperately.
"its okay, man" I told him. "Thanks for trying."
"Honey," barked at me. "Now."
Nancy Bobofit smirked.
I gave her my deluxe I'll-kill-you-later stare.
Kronos: wow that must be scary if it came from a petty Seaman
All the Titans started laughing
Poseidon doused every Titan in water, and they started growling
Poseidon: I bet you didn't SEA that coming did you
The Olympians laughed
Then I turned to face , but she wasn't was standing at the museum entrance,way at the top of the steps, gesturing impatiently at me to come on.
How'd she get there so fast?
Hades eyes widened
Zeus noticed again and he couldn't take it anymore
Zeus: SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!
Hades: that's Alecto one of my furies
Everyone gasped
Poseidon: you…..sent…a fury…after…MY SON!
Hades: I don't know why but im sure the books will explain why
Poseidon glared at Hades
I have my moments like that a lot, when my brain falls asleep or something, and the next thing I know I've missed something, As if a puzzle piece fell out of the universe and left me staring at the blank place behind it. The school counselor told me this was part of the ADHD, my brain misinterpreting things.
I wasn't so sure.
I went after
Halfway up the steps,I glanced back at Grover. He was looking pale, cutting his eyes between me and ,like he wanted to noticed what was going on, but was absorbed in his novel.
Poseidon: Chiron needs to get his Horse ass with the program, my son is in danger and he's sitting being all driving miss daisy In the sunlight, when he should be weary of whats going on!
Hestia: patience brother, I know its hard to hear this part but lrt us find out what happens it may not be as bad as you think it is.
Poseidon grumbled something like: Better hope so…..horsy ass….stupid novels.
I looked back .Dodds had disappeared again .She was now inside the building, at the end of the entrance hall.
Okay, I thought. She's gonna make me buy a new shirt for Nancy at the gift shop.
Kronos: I doubt that
Hyperion:yeah if I was him I would of just like…fuck!
Iapetus: Haha Perion' cant follow through with his 'heroic response'
Crius: I would of brought a weapon with me , always….always have –
Zeus: SHUT UP!
Kronos: *his eyes flared gold* who do you think you are speaking to the king of the Titans and your Father like that BOY!
Zeus: I Zeus, The King of The Gods, and God of Thunder and lightning and the Supreme commander of the Army of Olympus are telling you to shut up * his eyes turned electric blue
Hyperion: there will be a time to settle your score but remember the fates messages Kronos
Kronos: I HATE THE FATES!
Suddenly the throne room got darker , the flames turned black and suddenly a portal opened up and three beautiful women clothed in cloth and jewels with eyes like lava lamps cane through
Zeus: who are you three
Suddenly they turned their heads toward Zeus
Annoym: . !
Suddenly every deity in the room got scared, never before have the fates paid a personal visit before
The Fate( now known) turned to Kronos and growled: you should be more careful with your words Kronos cause they may just might be your last *they gave him a glare so powerful it made even him flinch*
Kronos: argh!
The fates: you may not realize this Kronos but you are not the most powerful being in existence.
Kronos: what are talking about of course I am.
Fate #1: No your are not, you see there are being far older than you like the Master of the Universe Chaos , then Gaea your mother, then Typhon the Storm Giant,then Keto the Goddess of Sea Monsters. So do not think you are the most powerful cause if you don't watch your step you will be at the mercy of any of these Deities are we understood Kronos?
Kronos nodded his head
The Fates: ok then control yourself, consider this your first warning * they disappeared into the vortex of darkness*
Kronos: lets continue * shocked at the sudden visit by the fates*
But apparently that wasn't the plan.
I followed her deeper into the I finally caught up to her,we were back in the Greek and Roman section.
Except for us, the gallery was empty
Poseidon was chewing his fingernails and rocking back and forth ' please be alright, please be alright'
Mrs,Dodds stood with her arms crossed in front of a big marble frieze of the Greek gods. She was making this weird noise in her throat, like growling.
Even without the noise, I would've been nervous. it's weird being alone with a teacher, especially . Something about the way she looked at the frieze, as if she wanted to pulverize it…
Hades: probably knew that girl and didn't like her
Ares: No shit sherl…
*Hades immediately grabbed Ares throat and glared evily into his eyes*
Hades: go ahead Ares finish that sentence…..I DARE YOU *his voice violently calm
Ares: no no im good
Hades then realeased Ares and return to his seat, while Ares was trying to regain his posture and breathing normal.
''you've been giving us problems honey," she said
I did the safe thing. I said,"yes, Ma'am."
She tugged on her cuffs of her leather jacket."Did you really think you would get away with it?"
Demeter: Get away with what?
The look in her eyes was beyond mad. It was evil.
She's a teacher, I thought nervously. It's not like she's going to hurt me
Hades snorted
Hades: WRONGO!
Athena: wrongo?
Hades: yeah haven't you seen that movie the Grinch, when the little girl asks him something he says wrongo, and its pretty catchy
Athena: ….ok?
I said,"I'll-I'll try harder,ma'am."
Thunder shook the building
Zeus: I must be mad about something
Poseidon: No shit
Hades: nice *fist bumps Poseidon
Zeus: hey I will have you know I can send your asses to Tartarus right now.
Hades: nuh-uh, Tartarus is in my territory so you'd have to get my permission, and my authorization
Poseidon leaned in towards Zeus
Poseidon: hey Zeus?
Zeus: what?
Poseidon:do you need some aloe vera?
Zeus: why the fuck would I need aloe vera
Poseidon: cause you just got BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNNNNED!
Apollo, Hermes, Ares, and Hephaestus laughed out loud while some goddesses gave a small chuckle,
'We are not fools Percy Jackson," said."It was only a matter of time before we found you out. Confess, and you will suffer less pain."
I didn't know what she was talking about
All I could think was that the teachers must've found the illegal stash of candy I'd been selling out of my dorm room. Or maybe they'd realized I got my essay on tom sawyer from the internet without ever reading the book and now they were going to take my grade worse, they were going to make me read the book.
Athena: theres no harm in reading a book
Apollo: yeah well no harm ever came from opening a chest you remember how that went.
Artemis whacked him in the head
Apollo: ouch!
Artemis: that's from that movie The Mummy, you Dummy *rolling her eyes*
Athena glared at Apollo, who shunk back into his seat.
"Well?" she demanded
"Ma'am,I don't…"
"Your time is up," she hissed.
Then the weirdest thing happened. Her eyes began to glow like barbecue coals. Her fingers stretched, turning into talons Her jacket melted into large, leathery wings. She wasn't human. she was a shriveled hag with bat wings and claws and a mouth full of yellow fangs, and she was about to slice me to ribbons.
Poseidon turned into vapor and circled his throne
Demeter: is he okay?
Apollo: hmmm…*walks over and examines* hes apparently got PWI
"PWI?"
Apollo: Parent Worrying It is
"Oh"
Then things got even stranger.
,who'd been out in front of the museum a minute before,wheeled his chair into the doorway of the gallery, holding a pen in his hand.
"What ho,percy!" he shouted, and tossed the pen through the air.
lunged at me
With a yelp, I dodged and felt talons slash the air next to my ear. I snatched the ballpoint pen out of the air, but when it hit my hand, it wasn't a pen anymore. It was a 's bronze sword,which he always used on tournament day.
spun towards me with a murderous look in her eyes.
My knees were hands were shaking so bad I almost dropped the sword.
Ares bursted out laughing ,but only long enough to not notice a stream of water hit his face from Poseidon
Ares: ARGGGGGGGH!
Poseidon: DON'T LAUGH AT MY SON HES NEW AT THIS WHOLE EXPERIENCE.
Ares: okay okay calm down.
She snarled, "die honey!"
And she flew straight at me.
Absolute terror ran through my body. I did the only thing that came naturally: I swung the sword.
Hera: that's not really a natural thing to do
Ares: no shit
Hera: watch your language my son
Ares sarcastically answered: Yes oh precious mommy , im sorry with all my heart
Hera didn't detect the sarcasm so she smiled, but Hephaestus did and laughed silently
The metal blade hit her shoulder and passed clean through her body as if she were made of !
Poseidon re-formed and cheered along with everyone else including Ares
was a sand castle in a power exploded into yellow powder,Vaporized on the spot, leaving nothing but the smell of sulfur and a dying screech and a chill of evil in the air, as if those two glowing eyes were still watching me.
I was alone.
There was a ballpoint pen in my hand
Dionysus:Still letting the mist affect is he, such a poor criter
Zeus: you were listening
Dionysus: warrrrre you toooking bout course ooooof I listrrrreeeeeeeen ing to rooooooooooooo!11
Zeus' was filled with rage
Zeus: DIONYSUS! YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING WINE AND I TOLD YOU SPECIFICALLY THAT WAS FORBIDDEN!
Dionysus: come on poops! Doont be slo harsh wish maaaaaaay!
Zeus:your right maybe you should be what your god of
Zeus snapped his fingers and Dionysus became a big vine of grapes
Dionysus muffled
Zeus: this is your punishment til I say OTHERWISE!
wasn't was there but me
My hands were still lunch must've been contaminated with magic mushroons or something.
Had I imagined the whole thing?
I went back outside.
It had started to rain.
Grover was sitting by the fountain, a museum map tented over his Bobofit was still standing there,soaked from her swim in the fountain,grumbling to her ugly friends. When she saw me, she said, "I hope whipped your butt."
I said, " Who?"
"Our !"
I had no teacher named .I asked Nancy what she was talking about.
She just rolling her eyes and turned away.
I asked Grover where was.
He said,"Who?"
But he paused first, and he wouldn't look at me, so I thought he was messing with me.
"Not funny, man" I told him."This is serious."
Thunder boomed overhead
Zeus: wow I must be really mad
A muffled laugh came from the vine known as Dionysus, and Zeus glared at it/him
I saw Mr. Brunner sitting under his red umbrella, reading his book, as if he'd never moved.
I went over to him
He looked up, a little distracted."Ah, that would be my pen. Please bring your own writing utensil in the future, Mr. Jackson."
I handed Mr. Brunner his pen.I hadn't even realized I was still holding it.
"Sir," I said, "Where's Mrs. Dodds?"
He stared at me blankly." Who ?"
" The other chaperone. Mrs. Dodds. The pre-Algebra teacher."
He frowned and sat forward, looking mildly concerned. "Percy, there is no Mrs. Dodds on this trip. As far as I know, there has been a Mrs. Dodds at Yancy Academy. Are you feeling alright?"
Hermes: Phew, done finally
Apollo: that was rather a long chapter, and the first no less!
Kronos: I don't why we have to read these, i mean this is ridiculous , me the King of the Titans and most Combat experienced Warrior on this Earth, being forced to be reading with my Bastard children.
Zeus: yeah well we don't like it any better than you do
Kronos: mmmhmmm sure
Athena: lets start the next chapter shall we?
Hyperion: Hold on, lets take a break im a little sore on my ass
Ares: that's cause you were sitting on it all day moron
That flared Hyperion up
Hyperion: QUIET YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A WAR GOD!
Ares stood up in full armor
Ares:WHAT DID YOU SAY!
Hyperion got in Ares face
Hyperion: I DIDN'T STUDDER I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A WAR GOD!
Zeus: SHUT UP! *The room rattled* you *Hyperion* back to your seat and you * Ares sit on your throne and stay there*. Now we will continue reading.
Hermes: who wants to read next
Athena: I will *Hermes hands her the book*