I thought it would get easier to get over him. I thought it would be less painful to see them together, but it didn't. Whenever I looked at them, I wanted to run away and never see either of them ever again.

No matter how mad I was at Rose, I knew I shouldn't be. She had no idea about Scorpius and I. We had kept it a secret the whole time we were together.

But I had no problem with being mad at Scorpius. I did my best to avoid him throughout the Christmas break, and so far I had been doing fairly well.

Until now.

Practically everyone had been outside enjoying the rare warm day. There was still snow on the ground, but it was nice enough to only have to have a light jacket on.

I had been out there with everyone, but it ad been to much to see them together. They were tackling each other in the snow, just like Scorpius and I used to do during the winter time. They looked like they really were in love.

Up until now, I had always stayed around at least one other person, just to avoid the chance of getting stuck in a room with Scorpius alone.

I could tell he wanted to talk to me, but I didn't want to talk to him. I had actually started hanging out with Lorcan more just to make Scorpius jealous.

For the longest time, I thought he was just like his brother, Lysander: always getting lost in his thoughts and believing in nargles. But Lorcan was different. He would listen to me, and we actually got along. I began to wonder why I hadn't talked to him more before now.

I almost felt bad that I was just using him to make Scorpius want me back.

This time, however, I just needed to be alone. I snuck inside when I thought no one was looking, but sadly, someone was. And he just so happened to be the person I wanted to talk to least.

"What are you doing sneaking in on a day like this? I thought you loved the snow," Scorpius asked me as I started ascending the stairs. I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around.

"Why do you care?" I retorted, trying my best to not shout at him. "You obviously don't care about me anymore."

"Lily, of course I care about you. I always have and I always will." He was standing only ten feet away from me, but he was slowly making his way closer.

Still facing him, I started trying to move away from him.

"You know, for some reason, I don't believe you," I said, keeping my voice as level as I possibly could. "Because if you really cared about me, then you wouldn't have made me wait for a year and a half, only to find out you're engaged to my cousin, of all people. So sorry if I don't believe that you actually care about me."

"But I do Lily, I love you," he said, somehow only inches from me.

"But you're engaged to Rose. You can't love me and her," I told him, trying to move away from him, but suddenly I was unable to. I hadn't been this close to him in nearly eighteen months. Was it bad that I wanted him to kiss me? Was it bad that I didn't care what would happen? I missed being around him more than I could describe, but things were different now, and I knew this couldn't happen.

Scorpius didn't say anything. He only started leaning forward. Was he going to kiss me? I wanted him to so badly, but there was no way that I was going to be the girl that messed up Rose's relationship again.

Yes, I had ruined a past relationship of hers, and it had taken years to gain her trust back. I wasn't about to lose it again.

Somehow, I found my voice. "Scorpius, no," it was just above a whisper, "I can't do this to Rose." I pushed myself away from him, and before he even had time to react, I turned around and ran up the stairs, locking myself in the bathroom.

Would he really cheat on Rose that easily? Should I tell Rose and have her heart broken, or should I keep it a secret and just let Scorpius get away with it?

So many questions were flying through my mind, and I had no idea what to do.

What would happen if I had let him kiss me? Would he have told Rose, or would she have found out on her own? Would I have to be the one to tell her and watch her fall apart just like before?

No. She would never find out about this. I would talk to Scorpius, tell him to leave me alone, for Rose's sake. They would get married and live happily ever after.

And I would just be Lily.

"Lily, are you alright? Scorpius said you weren't feeling to well," Rose said after knocking on the bathroom door. "He thought you'd rather talk to me."

"Actually, I'd rather just not talk at all," I replied, turning on the water, and splashing it on my face.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure," I told her. There was no way I'd be able to talk to her without spilling everything.

"You know I don't believe you. You've been acting strangely all break. It's starting to worry me."

"Honestly, I'm fine Rose. But thanks for your concern. I'll be out in a few seconds."

"Lily, either you unlock this door, or I'll unlock it for you," Rose demanded. I didn't say anything. I had to come up with a convincing lie, and quickly. "I'm coming in. Alohamorah." The door unlocked and swung open. "Now tell me what's going on," she said, after turning the water off.

I took a deep breath and turned around to face her. "It's Lorcan. I can't tell if he likes me or not, and it's driving me insane."

"Aw, Lily, that's so cute! Do you want me to talk to him?" Rose asked me, nearly jumping up and down with excitement.

"No!" I said, to quickly, turning away from her to look at myself in the mirror. "I want to find out myself. I just need some time. Promise you won't tell anyone? Especially Lorcan?"

"I won't. At least until tomorrow. You know I can't stand suspense like this! Plus, its been so long since I've seen you happy, and I miss that."

Actually, the last time I was really happy was when I was dating your fiancee, I thought, but decided it would be better to keep that particular thought to myself.

"Fine, whatever. I'll be back down in a few minutes."

"So will I. We have to get you all cleaned up for Lorcan!"

I groaned, but didn't even bother fighting with her. She always got her way when it came to fashion and makeup.

"Come on! I have just the thing for you to wear!" She practically dragged me out of the bathroom and into the room she and Scorpius were sharing.

After nearly an hour of Rose doing my hair and putting makeup on me, I was finally allowed to go downstairs and back out side. My hair was all curled, and pulled back into a loose ponytail. I was wearing a pair of black skinny jeans, and a red sweater. Rose said something about how it brings out the color of my hair, or something like that.

"Lorcan is going to fall head over heels in love with you, Lily!" Rose said giving me a hug.

I smiled, glad that my lie had worked, before heading downstairs. Everyone was still outside at the time.

"So when are you going to tell him?" Rose asked me.

"I don't know, Rose. I haven't really thought about it."

"Remember, if you don't by today, I'll tell him for you, wether you like it or not."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Come on, lets go outside," I said opening the door.

The only bad thing was, when I walked outside, I felt two pairs of eyes on me.