CHAPTER TWO: Changing Diapers
a/n: And welcome again, charming people of the world of fanfiction! Thank you very much to everyone who favourite d, set this fic on alert and reviewed. Your responses have encouraged me very much. Please review also as I would love to hear about your opinions and suggestions.
Thank you, as always, to my extremely talented friend Serinal (check her out) for introducing me to the world of fanfiction. A very special thank you to mrs peeta mellark 2.0 and the Guest for reviewing. Do PM me if you'd like to say anything. Without further ado, chapter 2 friends...
James Potter was definitely not cut out for this job. Neither were any of the other three gentlemen, who had most kindly assigned him the position of ''Diaper Changer'' to Harry when James was away in the bathroom. 'He's your baby mate', a very happily grinning Remus told him, when James complained about the unfairness of this horrid job. 'It's only fair that you get to see him without clothes. Just imagine what he'd feel like around us if we did it'.
'But he likes you guys better!', replied James, who was now feeling very, very betrayed. Mumbling to himself, he carried Harry up to the kitchen table. Sirius was (most unfortunately for him) sitting here at the time, eating his third post lunch snack. He raised his eyebrows at James. 'Is he going to nap here?', he asked James, looking rather annoyed.
'No, I'm changing his extremely full and stinky as hell diaper', replied James. 'Remember? Peter already told me it was entirely your idea. So I think you deserve this', he said, the evil grin on his face growing more evil every second.
Sirius looked at him, horrified. 'You would not', he said, looking in turns between Harry, James and Harry's loaded diaper.
'Actually I will, can and am going to', said James. It was only fair that Sirius witness first-hand all the wonders of changing a baby's diaper. He bent down to pick up the squishy toy ball Harry had dropped on the floor. Under the kitchen table was the small ball of Fruition's ever lasting sweetness bubblegum James had left there last month at dinner. Today's my lucky day!, he thought.
James picked the gum off the table and popped it in his mouth. Sirius would be so jealous, he laughed evilly in his mind. Looking up he called out 'Padfoot?'.
Judging by the looks of the place, (which now looked like some natural disaster had come over it) Sirius had run for it. 'Guess it's just you and me then, Harry', he turned to Harry and smiled. Harry giggled back at him. 'Oh yeah, make that you, me and a stinky diaper', James laughed.
He looked at the pamper. It was White and had prints of animals on it. He poked at the lump in the bottom, it was mushy. Now how on earth am I supposed to remove it?, James thought, scratching at his chin. 'Definitely more complicated than I thought. Now where is that manual Lily left?', he wondered out loud. He was sure she had said something about leaving it on the kitchen table, or was it the washing machine? James picked Harry up, seated him on the baby seat and gave him a bottle of milk. 'Stay here Harry, I'll be back', he said to the baby and walked out of the kitchen.
Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew were sitting in the living room at Potter cottage. They were watching a muggle rock band's music video.
"I should get myself one of these Fellyvisions", said Remus. He was sitting cross-legged on the couch and munching on some muggle snacks Peter had found in Lily Potter's kitchen cabinets.
"And these fried snacks", agreed Peter. "Pass me more of those cheese munchies Moony", he held out his fat palm absentmindedly.
Just then Sirius Black ran in looking like he was a murder convict who had escaped from azkaban.
"What's up with you mate?', Remus asked him. Peter was too busy gobbling up a bag of crisps to notice the new arrival.
"There I was, eating a sandwich, minding my own pleasurable business when James ran in with Harry', replied Sirius. "He was going to expose me to some things I'm really not ready for", he finished. "Is that popcorn?", he asked, immediately running over to it and snatching the entire tub from Peter, who looked devastated at this.
"What things?", asked Peter, he looked unhappy the thievery that had come his way. "Padfoot can I have some of that?".
"Baby poop. Here", said Sirius, handing Peter the popcorn and plopping down on the sofa.
Remus laughed.
"Has anyone seen my 'how to not kill a baby in two weeks manual'?'', asked James. He had just entered the living room and was now looking under the many piles of clothes and food for the aforementioned item.
"Not really", said Remus.
"Nope'', said Peter.
"Actually, I remember seeing it somewhere", said Sirius, to everyone's extreme shock and disbelief.
"What?"
"You?"
"Impossible..."
"Where Sirius?", asked James.
"Sheesh! You made me forget where with all that stupid commentary. What do you all have to say for yourselves? The one time I can actually help one of you and you people messed it up! Don't you know about my limited memory span?", Sirius said.
"Pssh, calm down Sirius, no need to have a kitten. I know where all of our manuals are.", said Peter. "At my mother's place. I thought we might not need them so I let my mother use it for her dog, Fe-fee.", he said, sounding very important.
"What are we going to do now?", asked James in utter desperation. "None of us know how to change a pamper. Bathilda is on holiday and I don't know any other girl!"
"Girl...", said Sirius, he seemed to be thinking. "Astral!", he shouted out.
"What?", asked Remus.
"Not what, who. Does Astral Miracle ring a bell?", asked Sirius.
"The only girl from Hogwarts that wouldn't go out with you back then and still wouldn't?...", guessed James, "...Yeah I remember her", he said.
"What about her?", Remus asked.
"She's a girl.", said Sirius, like as if that explained everything. He got up and went over to Lily's writing desk. Pulling out a new parchment he sat down at it and started writing something. "She'd know how to change pampers and stuff"
"Astral probably doesn't know half as much about kids than we do. She's not girly or married remember?", said Remus.
"She may be a tomboy but she's obviously better at babysitting than we are.", said James.
"What does Astral work?", asked Peter curiously.
"She designs witches robes' patterns in London.", said Remus. "But Sirius, what on earth are you going to say to her? 'Astral could you come over. Harry's pooped his pants and we can't figure out a way to change them...'?".
"Presentation Moony, it's all in the presentation. Done", said Sirius. "I'm going to run down to the post office. You lot better clean up, we don't want to give a bad impression. Even if it is Astral we're talking about", said Sirius. He went out of the living room and got his coat before leaving for the post office.
"You might want to sit Harry in a bucket until then James, we don't want poop all over the place", advised Remus. "Come on Peter, let's clean up the house"
a/n: Boo-yeah! Second chapter done. The next chapter will show Astral. She's a school friend of the marauders and Lily. She's not real but then again, we really don't know much about the people in the marauders' time. I didn't want to have someone popular like Alice Longbottom come over because she already has Neville right to look after right? But don't worry, Alice is like an exact girl version of Sirius. She's lazy and everything hahaha. =D Hope you guys liked this chapter. Please review!