4/17/17

This was originally chapter 1, and I swapped in with chapter 2. If you're an old reader, I edited some parts, removed and added some scenes. Hopefully, the scenes finally make sense!

Have fun!

-Chryselis

Now

He was going to commit big mistake, and he knew it.

Sacrificing a happy six-year relationship for the "one who got away" was a stupid decision. Foolish, or crazy even. But dumping your hot girlfriend? That trumped everything.

Men would call him foolish, but Cloud didn't care. His life was his to live. Not for others to dictate.

He didn't know when the notion came to him, but he knew that every dazzling smile his girlfriend bestowed upon him, it would jab his heart like a sharp knife.

For six long years, he endured those jabs, and he had enough. He couldn't afford to keep up with the lies and pretenses.

Tifa Lockheart was a good woman, and he knew he was blessed to have her by his side. They had become a couple during their last year in high school, and his classmates had envied him for it. They had even sent him death threats, to be exact.

But he was still alive, thank God his classmates didn't have the spine to do it.

Tifa was present and supportive during the high and low points in life. She became his pillar, providing him the safety and balance when life became rough. And she was an excellent cook. What living man wouldn't appreciate a woman who could keep his stomach full and satiated?

He was a lucky guy, he told himself. He thought he could learn to love her, and when the knife jabs thrust his heart again, he repeated the mantra again.

Except that he had enough of deluding himself.

The door to Tifa's Café, Seventh Heaven was wide open. He knew she lived on the second floor, and he made it past through the ground floor, ignoring the male patrons who frequented her place. Climbing the stairs, he was about to knock on the door when it opened.

"What a surprise, Cloud!" Tifa exclaimed, ushering him insider her humble abode. "Sit down and I'll brew your favorite coffee."

"Thanks." He replied, hoping his trembling body didn't hint his nervousness. Man up, Cloud Strife. You can do this.

The strong aroma of coffee filled her apartment, making his stomach churn.

In his haste, Cloud had forgotten to eat. Ever loving and supportive, Tifa served him a mug of hot coffee with two fresh bagels.

"Your favorite." She smiled and kissed his cheek.

Tifa's smile was one of her greatest assets. His male friends cheered how lucky Cloud was to have her, yet the cheers and envy weren't enough to placate his guilt.

He was lying to her for the past six years.

Tifa deserved better. She deserved to be with an honest man, not a cheater. Not a man whose heart was pre-occupied with a green-eyed woman.

"I need to break up with you."

Tifa dropped her fork, the sound piercing the silence in the room.

Suddenly, the room became uncomfortable, the silence suffocating him. He didn't want to hurt her, but he did. And there was nothing he could do to make it hurt less.

After a long minute or two, she finally found her voice. "It took you long enough to tell me that."

Cloud looked sullen. "I didn't want to hurt you.

She arched her brow. "Well, you're hurting me."

He couldn't look at her in the eyes, with guilt gnawing his heart. "I couldn't forget her."

She knew who he was talking about. "You don't need to apologize."

"I wasted six years of your life."

She twined her hands with his. "We spent six years experiencing the pitfalls of a one-sided relationship. Think of it as a learning experience."

She was taking this well. Too well.

"Try to be an optimist." she assured him. "The worst thing you can do to me is continue this farce of a relationship. That's what it has been to you all these years, right?"

"I did care for you—"

"—But it's not enough to make you forget about Aerith."

No, she wasn't taking this too well, he decided. She was nearing her breaking point, and she knew it.

"I've been under her shadow the entire time, huh?"

He gave her no answer, and that was all she needed from him.

She stood up from her seat, urging him to stand as well. Tifa twined her arms around his neck, playing with the buttons on his shirt. "If I can't have your heart, then will you let me have your body?"

Shit, not this.

"One last time, please?"

It had been like this during their first time, and it would be the same for their last. Cloud gave in, hoping it would suffice as an apology. An apology, he knew, that would only hurt her further.

The hours stretched, and by sunrise, Tifa opened her eyes in a post-coital daze. They were still lying on her bed, with her hand sprawled across Cloud's naked chest. He was in deep sleep, his chest heaving. Leisurely, she removed a lock of hair that fell on his forehead.

She would never get tired of looking at him. She would never stop loving him.

But if she didn't do anything to get him out of her system, she would never be able to recover from the heartbreak she sunk into.

Then one tear fell from her eyes, followed by another, and another. The tears were cascading from her eyes so fast that she couldn't suppress the sob from her throat.

The ship has sunk, Tifa. There's no use in trying to stay in sunken ship.

She wanted to hate him, to make his life miserable. To make him feel the guilt of deceiving her for the rest of his life. But she loved him too much.

Cloud's blue eyes opened, and he focused on the crying woman beside him. Gathering her in his arms, he said no words, damn him, and held her for a very long time.

"Will you look for her?"

"Yes."

"But you don't know where she is."

"I don't," he admitted. "But that won't stop me."

She could make his journey miserable, Tifa contemplated. Gaia was such a large place, and Aerith was only one human, a needle in a haystack. He would never find her. One wrong turn at the wrong place at the wrong time could cost him his life.

She almost gave in to the temptation. Almost.

"I might never return alive." he confessed. "I could die along the way and never find her."

"Then why are you risking your life?" she wanted to understand him, wanted to understand why he could give up everything for the woman who vanished from their lives six years ago.

"I didn't want to be a butcher's dog anymore."

Did he really see himself that way? An animal deprived of the meat while lying down on the corner of the shop?

She made up her mind. If he decided to be honest with her, then she could afford the same.

"She's working in Sector Six at the Honey Bee District in Midgar."

Cloud froze, hearing her statement. "You knew where she was all along?"

"Just recently." She confessed, knowing he would bombard her with a dozen of questions. Aerith's disappearance had disturbed their sleepy little town, and it had destroyed whatever remained of Elvira Gainsborough.

"She wrote me a letter."

"Why haven't you told me?"

"She asked me not to."

He looked hurt, as if he didn't believe her.

Let him, she grumbled. "Don't give me that look. I'm actually giving you a favor. I could have shut my mouth, and you wouldn't have a clue on where to find her.

Cloud looked at her for a long time, and damn him, his eyes looked brighter. Much brighter compared to the six years they spent with each other. "Thank you, Tifa."

"What happens when you realize it's too late to be with her?"

He wrinkled his brows, looking puzzled.

"She's no longer the same Aerith we knew." She told him, because it was the truth.

Aerith had never disclosed what happened to her for the last six years, but the Flower Lady had been her classmate for years. Tifa knew how she composed her letters, how Aerith strung her words and sentence, how optimistic she could be.

The letter was not optimistic.

"Nothing is too late."

Tifa's smile barely reached her ears. "I see." Then she rolled to the other side of the bed and drew a deep breath. "Get out of here Cloud, I never want to see you again."

"For the rest of your life?"

Damn him.

"For the rest of my life."