Authors Note: I don't own any of the characters or songs I might use. Please excuse the errors you are sure to come across the story I don't have a beta, and I do try to proof read before posting but grammar has never been my strong point.

I've been here for about a week now, and the universe is being quite nice to me as I haven't seen Him at all, nor anyone from the club. Which is giving me the creeps if I'm being honest with myself, its like they no longer live here but I know I'm just fooling myself I hear the Harleys roar as they drive around town. Still haven't gotten a glimpse of any of them though and I really do hope it stays that way. Fuck who am I kidding I want to see him, even if it's just from afar, I want to see him, touch him, feel him. Fuck I'm screwed.

I walk into my room, turn on the radio and garb my pack of cigarettes from the bedside table. As I light one up the sweet sounds of The White Buffalo come through my speakers, I lay down on the floor with my head resting on the edge of the bed.

" This time is different it's not like the times before, I crossed my heart that I won't kill no more" I whispered. " Jesus watch over me, keep my anger at home, you better bless these wicked hands, cause they got a mind of their own." I finished with a croon.

I finish my cigarette, get myself off the floor and head towards the shower. I can feel the memories just waiting to rush through my mind, I try to think of how soon I'll start my pediatric residences at the hospital. But I can still hear Jake Smith voice as he finishes The Whistler.

I let myself be consumed by the memory of Him, I can smell the whiskey on his breath, feel it on my ear as he once whispered this very same song too me.

As I hurry to take my clothes off and get into the shower I let the scolding hot water pour down on me. I give into the need and let my mind wonder. I feel his arms around me, his kisses on my neck. His voice at my ear, " this time is different not like the time before," he nips at my neck. " I crossed my heart, that I won't kill no more."

I hurried to get out of the shower. I wrapped myself in a towel and head towards my dresser, I put on a white tank top and some boy shorts. I turn off the radio thinking that's enough reminiscing for the day.

I take a look around the room, "what now" I wondered out aloud. My stomach growls. " I guess that answer that question," I giggled. Yea I talk to my stomach leave me alone. I head towards the kitchen and remember that I had nothing, I needed to head towards the local market which I have been avoiding for the sake of not bumping into anyone from the club. I guess I could head to target again, and restock for a week or two, fuck maybe even a month. No, I need to man up, or in my case woman up and go to the market. Why try to prevent the unavoidable. I run upstairs and put on some jeans, not bothering with a bar I really hated them I need to let the girls breath a little.

Grabbing the keys to my car and my bag I lock up . Walking towards my car I can hear the Harleys in the distance. Which makes me think about going to the store now, I mean I'm not that hungry.

No Bella, I scolded myself grow a pair get into your car and drive. I still sit in my car for about 15 minutes in silence no need to add the radio to this mini freak out. As I back out the drive way I keep taking deep breaths, I mean what are the chances of me running into Him now after being here for about a week with no signs of him or his club. Fuck but with my luck, I would see him at the store of all places. I send a little prayer to the big man upstairs Bowie, yea I named the big man Bowie sue me. I was five when that happen and it stuck with me ever since. He used to tease me about it, but he said it was one of the things he loved about me. I quickly shake my head, no need to think about him, you know what they say speak of the devil and he shall appear.

Finally I get to the store which was only like a 10 minute drive, but in the state I'm in it made it seem like an hour drive. I park the car and stay for 5 minutes just giving myself a few minutes to get my bearings. I walk into the store and grab a cart and head towards the meat section. I make sure to grab at least two whole chickens, they can last me a week and then I'll just head up to target because I'm not ready no matter how much I would love to see him, but I never thought that for me to see him, he might have to see which in no way am I ready for that kind of confrontation. Specially since I don't know what kind of reaction would hurt me more, if he were to play indifference or let the hurt I know I feel if I were to settle my eyes on him. I was so wrapped up in my inner musings that when I heard that voice it startled me completely.

Fuck it was Esme. Shit-shit-shit what do I do. I just froze, I couldn't think straight so I ran. I just left the cart there and ran out the store like the devil himself was after me. I quickly open the door to my car, put the key into the ignition and gun down that son of a bitch like there was no tomorrow.

I made it to my house and quickly got inside. I didn't notice I was crying until I tasted the saltiness of my tears on my lips. I was angry at myself because I would have to deal with this shit sooner or later so what was the point in running. I felt weak. I wasn't going anywhere I was here to stay, and I had to face shit so why did I ran. I was strong, fuck I put up with a bunch of shit for the past seven years and even more when I was here with Him.

"Goddamn it!" I yelled, punching the wall.

I was strong and Esme didn't scare me anymore, she couldn't hurt me, shit she didn't hold anything dear too me anymore. I mentally scoff myself, yea keep thinking that Bella you know you still love him.

No I wasn't that eighteen year old girl anymore, I wasn't that naïve, but if she saw me would she have told him. I doubt it she hated me then, and I bet she loathed me now. I was the bitch that had the power to take her precious baby away from here, from the club. She treated me like crap, because she was afraid I would be the one to destroy everything she worked for. That He wouldn't be king if he was so wrapped up in me, if I had convinced him to leave with me have a future that didn't involved guns, drugs, murder. She had underestimated the power they all had over him, because at the end of it all I was just pussy to him. He let me walk away. He didn't follow, he said he couldn't. couldn't turn his back on his brothers.

I walk into the bathroom, splash my face with cold water. As I exist, I walk towards the kitchen and grab the bottle of whiskey and my cigarettes and head towards my room its just going to be one of those nights.

Authors Note: Well there you have it folks chapter two. Next chapter we will finally see Him! I'm very excited to see how it happens. I started writing it, but still don't know how they should first see each other, or should she just see him. Maybe even write it in his point of view and he see her first without here knowing. As you can see I am very indecisive right now, if you guys have any suggestions let me know.

Thanks for reading everyone!