Slowly getting started... Please review! just a 'Cool!' is enough, a review can make my day!
2. Loathing
At first, Castiel tried to be friendly to Muriel. Then, he tried to tolerate her. But after a while, the little red-winged Angel started getting under his skin.
She was better at everything. Deciphering, tactics, tracking, only in combat Castiel could top her, but only just.
She was pretty, popular and a know-it-all, and Castiel got more jealous every time he saw her.
It was during tactics that Balthazar said something about it to him. "It's like you're in love."
"Excuse me?" Castiel frowned and stopped making notes.
"Every time you see Muriel, you flush red, you grow silent and your feathers puff out." Balthazar nodded, tapping on Castiel's wings. "I'm pretty sure about it."
"I believe the feeling you are describing has another name," Castiel said, pretending to pay attention when Aziraphale's eyes flew over him.
"And what is that?"
"Hate. Jealousy." Castiel sighed, feeling bad for admitting what he was feeling.
"Why?" Balthazar frowned. "I mean, she is kind of nice."
"I knów." Castiel pulled on his hair.
"You know what that sounds like?" Balthazar leaned towards Castiel. "Loooove."
"No- it was jealousy, then became an obsession, and now it is just..." Castiel dropped his face in his notebook. "She's so perfect and I hate her for it."
Balthazar laughed softly. "Poor Cassie, always the best, and suddenly his seat is taken by a little one."
"Shut it Bal." Castiel smiled. Balthazar was right, he was being a child. But if Muriel was just there in class, it would have been bearable.
But to make matters worse, Castiel and Muriel had been upgraded to roommates.
Rooms in Heaven were sober and small. There was just enough room for two beds and two wardrobes, and a little sink in the corner where they could groom themselves and their wings.
It was custom for roommates to groom each other's wings, and since Castiel always had the room to himself, he had agreed that Balthazar would help him every Sunday.
But after their conversation, there was no way Balthazar would let them use that excuse to avoid having to let Muriel help him.
Castiel wasn't exactly looking forward to Sunday, not because he was disgusted by the fact that he had to groom Muriel's wings, but because he felt bad about his own.
They were big. Whereas most Angels had wings reaching to their lower back or wings reaching their calves, his dragged the ground as he walked.
Balthazar never teased him about his wings, nobody did, but he knew they talked about it behind his back.
They had their advantages, he was faster, he could fly higher and he could create little whirlwinds to confuse his enemies, but they made Cas feel bad about himself.
So then Sunday came anyway, and Castiel was sitting in his room reading the Bible when Muriel returned from he-didn't-want-to-know-what and gathered the brushes and ointment for weak spots.
"So," she said, like it wasn't any big deal at all, "Who goes first?"
Castiel didn't think Muriel knew he disliked her. He swallowed. "I've had Balthazar do mine already." He lied.
"Well," She shrugged, handing him the brushes and sitting down on a stool. "In that case he did a crappy job."
"He did fine." Castiel snapped.
"You don't have to get all defensi-"
"I DON'T GET DEFENSIVE." Castiel slammed down the brush a little too hard and pulled two feathers out of Muriel's wings.
She shrieked. "What is wrong with you?" She stood up and turned around. "I try to be nice, and you are always blunt, or mean to me. What did I do to you?"
Castiel felt bad, really bad, because Angel feathers don't grow back.
But he was also angry. It wasn't fair. He was the best student of the garrison, until this little annoying girl turned up and ruined everything for him. And now she was making him feel disgusting, and evil, and bad.
"You come here and you think that you can just take over everyone's place in the group. Let me tell you something, little one, nobody in the garrison likes you." Castiel hissed.
He immediately felt very bad after saying this, because it was very untrue. Many of the other Angels really loved Muriel for her skills and personality.
Muriel laughed. "Oh! Is that it? Is our honours student a little jealous of the little girl who barged into his world and showed him some truths? Let me tell you something," she mimicked his voice. "you should do something about your attitude, because you are not going to get very far in the ranks if you keep behaving like a child."
Castiel felt even more bad after this, because he knew Muriel was right. He was being a baby. But he wasn't mature enough to stand up to himself yet.
"I hate you!" he yelled like a child. "With your stupid, little, useless wings!"
"Ha!" Muriel mocked him, but he could see in her eyes that he had hurt her feelings. "Says the Angel with wings bigger than the Red Sea!"
Castiel set his jaw and huffed indignant. Without another word, he marched out of their room.
He went outside and flew to the highest branch of the highest tree in the garrison. He liked that spot because other Angels couldn't reach it, and only Balthazar and he knew it existed.
Which is why it didn't really surprise him that Balthazar came to find him.
"Cassie!" he yelled, he had tried to fly up to Cas, but wasn't able to get as high. He was fluttering somewhere in the middle. "I know you're hurt, and arrogant, and a tad selfish, but you have to realise that this is not the solution!"
"Shut up Bal!" Cas yelled back.
"You're being a baby!" Balthazar yelled.
"Go away!"
Balthazar flew back down, walked away, hesitated and turned around. "When you've made up your mind, I'll still groom your wings."
Balthazar walked away, back to the barracks.
Castiel sat there for a while, drowning himself in self-pity.
"I'm being such a child," he said to himself. He was going down to Balthazar, groom his wings and then apologize to Muriel. There were worse things than not being the best student.
Castiel jumped from the branch, spread his wings and seared down to the barracks. Minutes later, he knocked on Balthazar's door.
"It's me, Bal."
There was a hurried scuffle and Balthazar opened the door. "I thought you'd never come back! Get in you idiot!"
Castiel walked into Balthazar's small bedroom and nodded to Samandriel, Balthazar's roommate.
"Sit down," Balthazar motioned to the stool while he grabbed some brushes. "Did you make up your mind?"
"I did." Castiel said quietly.
Samandriel took the hint. "I'm gonna... go... you know... do stuff."
When he had left, Balthazar waited for Castiel to start talking.
It was quiet for a while, the only sound being the brush brush of Cas' wings and Balthazar's brush.
"I'm being a baby." Castiel said.
Balthazar wisely kept his mouth shut.
"The way I'm treating Muriel, it's unfair." Castiel sighed and toyed with a loose strand of Samandriel's blanket. "And when I went to groom her wings today, I pulled out two feathers."
Balthazar was so surprised, he almost pulled some feathers out too. "The moment I finish these black bastards, you get your feathery ass over there and apologize immediately."
Castiel nodded. Balthazar finished up his wings quickly, and he rushed back to his room.
He knocked. "Muriel?"
"Go away!"
"Muriel, for one, I live here and... I came to apologize."
Silence.
Castiel entered the room. Muriel was sitting on the bed, holding her two feathers.
Castiel grabbed two of his own feathers and pulled. It hurt like Hell, but was worth it all.
If Angels exchanged feathers, they offered each other brotherhood and friendship.
He sat down across Muriel.
"I realise that the wound I created will take ages to heal. I've been childish, immature and unreasonable." Castiel put his feathers in her lap. "I understand if you don't want to speak to me, or forgive me, but I hope you will and I hope you can."
Muriel was quiet for a while. "Why?"
"Because I was jealous." Castiel said. He wanted to look Muriel in the eyes but he couldn't. He dared not.
Muriel took the black feathers and fitted them in her wing. Then she took her own feathers and fitted them in Cas' big lumpy wing.
"Peace?" She asked.
"Peace." He said. They shook hands, but then Muriel pulled him in for a hug.
"Has anyone told you lately that you are an absolute idiot?" She laughed when he pulled back.
Once again Castiel realised that Muriel wasn't one to hold grudge. That Muriel hadn't even realized he hated her until tonight.
"Yeah, Bal did." He smiled.
Muriel seemed to open her mouth to say something, but she was rudely interrupted.
By the horn of Gabriel.