"Last night

Can't remember

What happened

Where'd we go?

I woke up

This morning

Where's my car?

Where's my keys?

Where's my clothes?"

"You get the best of both worlds! Chill it out, take it slow, then you rock out the show!"

Gin sang to himself whilst cruising down the streets of Karakura in his stolen police car. Hey, don't judge. Hannah Montana is the BOMB. Oh yeah, he had found himself a new cop car. Apparently, the police force decided it was a great night to get wrecked too, and so Gin just decided to borrow their car while they were passed out on the ground outside a club.

He had been screwing around for about twenty minutes now, trying to find the Victoria Secret from the picture. He drove on, blowing a few red lights and stop signs, when he suddenly caught a store painted at least five different shades of pink. He spun back around and took off after it.

'Mmmm… thongs…'

Gin gracefully parked the car on the stop sign he just ran over, and skipped out of the driver's seat. He glued himself to the window of the heavenly store, feasting his eyes upon the massive array of lingerie.

All too quickly, he heard a crash from across the street. Gin reluctantly turned away from his dream store and jogged over to the bar across the way.

'The Big Bong. That seems like an accurate name.'

Peeking inside, Gin took note of the sorry state of the place. Chairs and tables lay on their sides, alcohol covered the floor, glass was embedded in the walls, and one of the walls lay in pieces across the counter and bar stools. Suddenly, one of the pieces of scattered wall bits moved and groaned.

"Fuck…" A shaky voice stated.

"Spoony! I found ya!" Gin cried out while running out to pull to grumbling giant. "I was sure tha' you would end up dead, or at least in jail! Daw, I'm so happy for ya, Piano Face!" Gin squealed, hugging Nnoitra.

"Gerroffme," came his mumbled reply.

"Shh, don't ya worry now. Uncle Gin is here ta take ya home and keep ya safe," Gin cooed as he stroked the quinta.

Nnoitra pushed Gin off. "I don't need you to take me home or keep me safe, fucktard. All I need are some meds for this ridiculous headache."

As Nnoitra clawed at his head, trying to scratch the endless pounding in his head away, Gin noticed a picture taped to his back.

"Hmm? Wha's this?"

Gin pulled off the photo, and Nnoitra, now curious, leaned over to get a closer look. It appeared to be Szayel, Starrk, and Grimmjow standing outside of a college campus giving thumbs up signs. Or the finger, in a certain bluenette's case. Nnoitra squinted at the college.

He pointed a finger at the photo. "Hey, I remember that place. We passed that on our way here. It's a few streets down."

Gin smiled even wider. "Tha's great! I'll have you all back in Las Noches before Aizen even notices tha' ya left!"

Gin dragged Nnoitra out onto the street, towards the damaged car. Once in the car, Gin tried to fire up the engine, but found that it wasn't working. Gin got out of the car and look at the underside.

'Ah. I guess I ran over a fire hydrant too. That must be what tore through the mechanics down there. I should really watch out for those more…'

Gin waved at Nnoitra through the window. "Time ta get out, Nnoi-Nnoi. The car won't start up."

Nnoitra shot him a hateful glare before stepping out of the passenger seat. "Don't call me that, douche."

Gin frowned. "But I call ya nicknames 'cause I love ya, Spoony! I raised ya since ya were just a little pirate-like arrancar!"

"No you didn't. I turned into an arrancar not too long ago."

"…balls."

Gin pouted as they started down the road to Karakura Tech. Nnoitra rolled his eyes at his superior's idiotic behavior. Feeling kind of awkward, he decided to start up a conversation.

"So… err… have you found any other clues about the others besides these two photos?"

"Nope. I woke up in a cop car like tha' we just abandoned, and then found you. That's 'bout it."

"Oh."

"…"

Nnoitra was relieved to finally see the building come into view. It was quite spectacular, really. Shiny windows, well-kept lawn, litter-free pathways, smoke rising out of the left wing…

…wait, what?

Nnoitra nudged Gin and pointed. Gin opened his eyes a little, and debated what could have happened. A microwave exploded after some idiot decided to heat up the wrong thing? A fire started after some asshole dropped a match in a bucket of kerosene? Fog machine party? Weed-smoking party gone wild? Szayel? I think it's safe to go with the last one.

"We better go get him before the authorities do." Gin mused.

"That seems like a good idea." Nnoitra stated.

Just as they were approaching the front entrance, a flash of pink shot past the nearest window on the second floor. Gin looked up.

"Hey, there he is!" Gin beamed.

Nnoitra looked over just in time to see Szayel come crashing out of a window right above him.

"Oh shi-" he was cut off by Szayel, who had used the unfortunate spoon to cushion his fall.

"Aww, Pinky, you're safe! Come here and give Gin a hug, you little butterfly you!" Gin swooned, as Szayel staggered up off of Nnoitra. He looked down for a moment, his eyes hidden by locks of hair falling across his face, when he suddenly jerked his head up and smiled.

"My experiment worked! I have successfully fused a cockroach and a ringworm! I shall name my new creation, the cockring!" Szayel proclaimed, shaking his fist in victory.

Still on the ground, Nnoitra managed to get out a snicker. "Heh. You said cock ring. You're so gayyy."

Szayel shot him a look and then addressed Gin. "Where were you last night? We lost you at around eleven."

Gin turned his head a bit to the side. "Err, that's not important righ' now. Righ' now we gotta find all the other Espada. You got any ideas as to where they may be?"

"Well-" Szayel started, but was cut off by a voice coming from the building.

"You! You did this! Get back here, you're going to face the consequences! You aren't allowed to use the labs without authority from the-"

The voice was instantly drowned out by a massive explosion, filling the surrounding area with purple smoke. Szayel grinned lecherously, and put the panel of buttons he just brought out back into his pocket.

"Oops, I guess my fingers slipped. I suppose I accidentally set of the chemical bomb I rigged up in the History room."

Gin looked at him for a moment, then snapped his head upward at the sight of a paper sailing through the air toward him. The white haired shinigami reached out and grabbed the paper, flipping it over to reveal yet another photo.

'Oh my.'

Seeing Gin's surprised expression, Nnoitra and Szayel leaned over his shoulders and examined the photo.

It showed Ulquiorra sticking his tongue out at the camera whilst flipping them off in a parking lot, and while that itself was extremely surprising, it was what was in the background that really shocked the three.

Grimmjow was in the back, arm in arm with two busty females, obviously as twisted as him. They were walking to a car. Gin opened his eyes wide as he took in one of the lady's purple pony tail, chocolate skin, and golden eyes. He covered his mouth as he recalled the orange hair, purple eyes, and soft features of the other. How did Grimmjow manage to pick up Yoruichi and Orihime? How did they even get there? All Gin was sure of was this: if either of the females woke up to find Grimmjow naked in their bed, he was going to die. Be it by Yoruichi's shunko or Orihime calling out to Ichigo, their little panther buddy was gonna lose his dick.

"We gotta get to Grimmjow as soon as possible." Gin said as he turned to Szayel and Nnoitra.

They gave Gin a knowing look, and the three of them set off to find and save Grimmjow from a bloody, dickless death.

"I feel my head still spinning

But I'm doing alright

'Cause I think I just had

The best night of my life

Last night

Can't remember

What happened

Did it happen?

Last night"