2 – The Celebratory Calamity

The four academics nervously entered Manny's. The doorman recognized Howard and immediately offered his congratulations and called the manager over.

"Howard, congratulations! I'm so happy you've decided to have your bachelor celebration here with us. I've picked some very special girls just for you. But first, I understand that one of you would like to inspect the kitchen before dinner."

Raj had given Jeff the manager a heads up on Sheldon's dining peculiarities. Jeff had been trying for a while to get people to visit Manny's for more than just the girls and while they did offer the typical strip club buffet they also had a full-service kitchen with a pretty good chef who had graduated from the Culinary Institute in New York.

Sheldon skeptically followed Jeff, careful not to touch anything. He was surprised to find the club appeared to be quite clean and not at all grungy or dank. When they arrived at the kitchen Sheldon was shocked. The entire kitchen staff wore gloves and hairnets and the kitchen was immaculate. Jeff introduced the chef, Weldon, to Sheldon and Sheldon quickly quizzed him on preparation techniques and proper cooking temperatures. When he was done Sheldon found that he would be perfectly willing to eat what Weldon prepared. In fact he was looking forward to it.

Jeff then escorted Sheldon upstairs to the private party room and he joined the others. They placed their dinner orders, Howard, Raj and Leonard all ordered steak. Sheldon requested a barbeque bacon cheeseburger with barbeque sauce, bacon and cheese all on the side. Though there was a bottle of champagne in a high hat by the table Sheldon requested lemonade.

They were having a pretty good time. Sheldon would have been satisfied with dinner as his entire evening out but then some music started playing and Howard, Raj and Leonard started getting excited.

The first girl to perform was introduced as Nancy. She was brunette and quite shapely. She was a good dancer. As the music played she teased the boys and interacted with them, periodically tossing them a piece of clothing as she removed it. Howard, Raj and Leonard were loving the performance. They clapped and hooted at Nancy. Sheldon felt a bit embarrassed at their immature behavior.

Ultimately Nancy stood before them completely naked. She took a bow and then moved off to the side, donning a short, sheer robe.

The music started again and the next girl was introduced as Pam. She was blonde and very beautiful. Her body type was similar to Nancy's but on Pam it just seemed right. Leonard leaned over to Howard and said "Dibs!" Howard responded, "Leonard, this isn't that kind of place." Leonard retorted, "I don't care. I'm having sex with her." Howard, Raj and Sheldon dismissed it as Leonard just being Leonard.

While Nora was a good dancer, Pam was amazing. It was like she was in another world. Her movements were ethereal. She didn't really interact with the boys at all and she seemed to discard her clothing in Nancy's direction. Sheldon couldn't take his eyes off of her. He also noticed a curious tattoo. Alarmingly he started to feel himself having a physical reaction. Embarrassed to be in public with an erection, especially in front of such a beautiful woman, Sheldon quickly excused himself. The other three didn't notice him leave.

When Pam finished she stood before the boys naked and triumphant and then went off to the side, put on a robe much like Nancy and just waited there.

The bouncer informed the boys that the girls would be taking a short break but would be back shortly. Leonard whispered something to him and handed him a wad of money.

Raj perked up.

"Hey, did you guys notice Sheldon left."

"Actually I'm surprised he lasted as long as he did. He's probably never seen a naked woman he wasn't related to before."

"Leonard, considering the traffic you bring through the apartment that would surprise me."

"Hey, I give him ample warning according to the Roommate Agreement. He either finds a reason to stay away or he keeps to his room until they leave."

"So what was all that with the bouncer."

"I just bought a lap dance with Pam."

Leonard had a big smile on his face.

The girls were in a dressing room on the side discussing what they were going to do next when Barney came in.

"Hey Penny. The guy with glasses bought a lap dance with you."

"Damn. I was kind hoping that wouldn't happen."

"Barney, how about if I do it instead."

"Sorry, Nora. He was real specific. He wants Pam and that means Penny."

"Okay. Right now or after our next thing."

"After the next thing."

"Nora, I've been pretty much avoiding these."

"Yeah, I know. Just look at it this way. It's an extra hundred bucks. He's not allowed to touch you. You get to wear a g-string. And Barney will be watching like a hawk."

"Okay."

Sheldon was walking around the block for the second time. He was still surprised at the reaction he'd had to "Pam." He debated going back into the club but decided against it. It was a nice night. He decided he'd wait for the others outside. He calculated it wouldn't be that much longer.

Meanwhile the music had started up again and "Pam" and "Nancy" came out fully dressed in super-hero costumes. Nancy was Wonder Woman and Pam was Supergirl They danced together and rubbed up against each other and each removed the others' clothing. The music was quite slow and so was the action. The boys were loving it. When they were completely naked they came over to the table and said hello to the boys. Penny took Leonard's hand and led him to a booth on the other end of the room. She told him to wait there for her. Barney then came over and told Leonard the rules. "Stay seated. Keep your hands to the side. No touching. No talking."

Leonard said fine. He was thinking that for the right amount anything was negotiable and, after all, he had called dibs.

Meanwhile, "Nancy", still naked, sat down with Howard and Raj. They were shocked when the first words out of her mouth were "So what did you think of the new issue of The Fox?"

Howard was shocked.

"Wait a second. We're sitting here with a beautiful woman and she's naked and she wants to talk about comic books? Have we died and gone to heaven?"

"Hey, geeks come in all shapes and sizes. This one just happens to be a naked woman."

"How did you know we were into comic books?"

"Well, I could say it's obvious, but I've kind of seen you at Stuart's comic shop."

"You buy comics?"

"Since I was a kid."

Meanwhile across the room the music had started and Penny came back out in her robe. She stood in front of a seated Leonard and started slowly removing the robe. When she was done she stood before him in nothing but a g-string. She ran her hands along his legs and then slowly turned around and sat on his lap. Penny could feel he was getting excited as she slowly ground against him. Barney was to Penny's left and she saw that he seemed to be momentarily distracted. While Barney was distracted Penny felt something in her lap. She looked down to see Leonard starting to slip his right hand under her g-string. Penny quickly stood up.

"Hey!"

Barney jumped up.

"What happened?"

"He tried to cop a feel!"

"I did not."

"You sure as hell did."

"Pam, I'm sorry. I didn't see it."

"Well, he's had all the lap dance he's getting from me."

"I paid for a lap dance and I want a lap dance."

"Sorry dude, if she says you touched her, you touched her."

"This place sucks."

Penny went over and joined Nora at the table. She seemed to be having a fun discussion with the two guys over there, well one of them. The other one was smiling but completely mute. Penny looked upset.

Howard looked concerned.

"What happened?"

"Your pal touched when he wasn't supposed to. And he was rude."

"I'll go talk to him."

"Thank you."

Howard walked over to Leonard.

"Dude, are you trying to get us thrown out of here."

"They aren't going to throw us out. We're paying customers. We can do whatever we want."

"Leonard, I told you before this isn't that kind of place. All the girls who work here are students, not hookers. The management doesn't allow that. Or drugs."

"That's just what they say."

"Leonard, this is my party and I've been a customer here for a long time. Please apologize to Pam."

"I've done nothing I need to apologize for. She wanted me to touch her."

"Did she say that?"

"I saw it in her eyes. She wants me."

"You're imagining things. Apologize or we're leaving."

"Fine. I'll say something to her."

Howard went back to the table. "Pam, Leonard has something he'd like to say to you."

Penny got up and walked over to Leonard.

"I understand you have something to say to me."

"I do. I paid for a lap dance but I'll call us all even for a blow job."

Penny slapped Leonard and ran out of the room crying.

Barney went over to Howard and Raj.

"I'm sorry dude but I'm going to have to ask you to leave. What your friend just did was completely out of line. You two and your tall, skinny friend are welcome to come back some other time. He's not."

"Great job, Leonard. You got us thrown out."

"We were done here anyway."

The three of them went downstairs. Howard and Leonard went outside. Raj went to Jeff to settle up.

"I'm extremely sorry for my friend's behavior. Please accept our apologies. Raj pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket."

"You already paid for everything up front."

"Please convey my apologies to Nancy and Pam. And please give this to them. This does not excuse my friend's actions but I wish to offer them my thanks and respect."

Raj gave Jeff ten one-hundred-dollar bills.

"I am trusting that this will go to Nancy and Pam and nobody else."

"I guarantee that they will get it. You are a true gentleman. Your friend could learn a thing or two from you. I look forward to you visiting us again."

"I'll be happy to. Good night."

Raj walked outside.

"So have you found Sheldon?"

"He probably walked home."

"So what was all that with the manager. I thought you paid for everything up front."

"I did. I left something for Pam and Nancy."

"Why. They didn't do anything that deserved more money. If anything the blonde owes me money."

"That's not how I see it, Leonard. And you owe me $500."

"You gave them $500."

"No, I gave them $1,000. $500 is your share."

"Yeah, well good luck collecting it."

The three of them started walking towards North Los Robles.