Bucky is looking out off the space ships' massive front window in the command center. It's a great view. Thanos likes to see all the death and destruction he brings to those defenseless planets up close.
He's not here now though. Convenient for Bucky's plans. They're not currently at war and he has no idea what the mad titan does in his leisure time. Maybe he doesn't want to know.
Behind him, the door opens with a hiss and Proxima Midnight enters.
Bucky hates every member of the dreaded Black Order but right now, he hates her the most for disturbing his moment of peace.
"Is this the time you finally stop being stupid, pet?" She comes closer unsolicited and sits in the pilot chair next to him.
No, it's not but Bucky doesn't tell her that. It's been three years since they left Earth and took him. Bucky has left most of himself behind. He's a ghost out here more than he ever was as the Winter Solider.
Thanos calls him "The Executioner". The rest of them call him his "human pet".
It doesn't matter. He knows he's not here because of his skills in battle. Not really. He messes up often enough, trying to save people, going against orders. No, he's here because Thanos is bored and enjoys his pain.
One of his artificial legs twitches like a reminder.
"You know he's gonna make you suffer for your insubordination."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
She tsks at him. Disappointed.
Sometimes I think you like getting punched. Bucky suppresses a smile.
It's almost midnight on Earth. You wouldn't be able to tell out here, of course. The outer galaxies have no sun light. Only reflections from the stardust and the nuclear fog.
Still, Bucky always knows the time. He has a clock that he keeps locked up in his quarters. It's hidden in his breast pocket today. An actual clock that tells real time build by humans. He traded it on Sakaar for something precious. It's one of his most valuable possessions now.
He turns around and leaves Proxima Midnight without her say-so. She is his general and they're supposed to ask for her authorization when they leave for their private rooms. He's not to turn his back when he exits and show respect, but Bucky never does. He only answers to Thanos and it has kept him alive so far. He thinks she might admire him for it. He's a fly with courage. Never show fear to a monster.
Bucky stalks past the lower ranked guards without acknowledgement and goes straight to his room. It's dark and quiet. He doesn't turn on the lights.
The laptop Bucky modified to pic up long range signals with garbage material from their current base is sitting on his desk. Waiting. It's been turned on for a while. Their channel is always open although it gets used only once a year. Bucky likes to think of it as an unbreakable chain that connects him to everything he loves without the limitations of space and time. It's romantic.
The last time, he's had an alien radio transmitter but Thanos had destroyed it when he found out what he was using it for, and then he'd paid for it.
Bucky takes a deep breath and sits down at the table. His legs creak and shift. Rearranging wired muscles.
There's no use crying over spilled milk now, is there?
He pulls out the clock from his uniform's breast pocket, lays it on the table and checks the time. The watch hands turn.
Time goes slower when you're waiting for something and faster when you're in love.
His mother had told him that.
He tries to keep his breathing even and his hands from trembling. Steady like a sniper. The new arm is harder to control.
The second the clock strikes twelve, Bucky's heart skyrockets and he slams the connect button with more force than strictly necessary. The laptop makes a noise that reminds him of that time he saw 'The Matrix' with Clint, and Natasha, and...
STEVE.
Seeing his face on screen now feels like being stabbed in the chest. Bucky does his best not to break the laptop with his death grip, bringing his face closer to the screen.
Steve looks beautiful. His hair is even longer than the last time and there are dark shadows under his eyes but he's still the most beautiful thing Bucky has ever seen.
"Hi." His voice sounds shy and a bit hoarse to his own ears but Steve's is not much better.
The Audio cracks with static when he clears his throat. "Hi there, yourself."
Both of them take a moment to look at each other properly and compose themselves. Bucky traces Steve's face with a finger.
"How have you been? How's Earth?"He always tries to ask these questions with a casual smile. Like he's on vacation or on a deep cover mission and Steve keeps him in the loop.
"Earth is great, Buck." You should come see it. "We have this system in place now. They come here every 4 months for the pick up but no one gets hurt anymore. We've had no incidents for a while."
The Order comes down to Earth a few times a year to pick up their tribute in resources and 'keep the peace' as they say. It's a means of control for them to show up unannounced. Bucky knows that but it's the only mission he ever wants to go on anymore, and he's not allowed. Thanos keeps him guarded for the duration of their little visits to keep him in line.
"That's great, Stevie. Maybe I'll get to come with them one day."
It's hard to pretend sometimes. They both know that he'll never come with as long as Thanos is alive and Bucky hasn't seen him age a day in the past three years so, he's most likely to die out here just like that.
"Yeah, maybe." He can tell that Steve is trying to keep the disappointment out of his voice. Bucky reads him like an open book.
"Did you find the story I told you about? The one with the man who was stranded on Mars who survived all on his own until they came for him?" Steve asks, allowing for a changing of subject.
"I did. I was thinking about getting this thing to download it for me," Bucky gestures towards the laptop dismissively, "but then I found a hard copy. Just took it from some guy in the Delta region. You wouldn't believe what Earth stuff goes for up here. He couldn't even read the words. It's crazy."
"You know, maybe I could give them something for you when they come here next time, and then we could..."
Steve stops when Bucky holds up his right hand. Its purple shine is picked up by the camera. His face falls.
He was smart enough to tell Steve about his arm right away when he sent the message after the fleet had moved out. Knowing that Thanos still had the power to hurt Bucky now kept him from doing stupid shit Like getting himself killed.
"No. I'm sorry. We can't. He's gonna say that's communication."
Bucky sighs and puts his arm down again carefully so it's out of the frame.
There is a reason why he never gets up when they're having their little chats. Steve hasn't seen his new legs yet. He doesn't know about them because Bucky lies about getting away with this. He really doesn't. If Steve knew he'd ask him to stop calling and he can't stop. He can never stop.
Better to be a cyborg than - not to be at all. Take that Shakespeare.
"Gotta stay on his good side, right?"
Steve nods with a pained expression. "Right... Just try to stay alive. Don't get in trouble."
"I won't." Buddy, you have no idea how much trouble I'm gonna be in when he comes back.
"Did you see Pepper again? How is she doing?"
"I saw her. Didn't believe she'd actually go through with it but she seems... Better now. Better than I expected. I'm glad it worked out."
Steve didn't have to see Tony Stark die. They'd tortured him for hours until he was out of his mind but he didn't have to watch his friends get torn apart one by one. Bucky thinks it would have killed him. Small mercies. That's all they have now.
Stark had been a brave man. Even at the end. He'd protected Pepper. Kept her out of the fight and sent her away in a suit until it was over. Bucky would have done the same thing with Steve but he'd known the punk would be too stubborn. Dead set on being the hero as usual so he didn't even try.
Bucky isn't brave like that.
"Is she still running things with the trade and threat protection services? Doesn't it get too tiring for her now?"
"No, she's good. Tells me you can't tell a pregnant woman to stop working now. It's taking away from their autonomy."
He smiles. "She's probably right. I've seen pregnant women do incredible things and I've been on this Earth— I mean here, for a while."
Figure of speech. Right... He swollows his grief.
"Remember little Jimmy's mom and how she helped build that house when she could hardly see her own feet? That woman could move mountains."
Steve chuckles. "You were kind of in love with her if I remember correctly."
"Kind of. She was fierce. It was probably that and the fact that she had really huge nipples." Bucky winks for dramatic effect.
Steve laughs at him. "You never change."
Bucky swallowes hard. Don't let him see.
"No, I don't."
There is a vibrating sensation and a sound like a small earthquake. He freezes.
"Everything ok up there?"
Bucky tries to quell the panic that grips his spine and makes his hands shake under the table.
"Yeah it's just..." He looks back to the closed doors of his quarters. There's noise outside. "The ships are back."
God damn it! Thanos wasn't supposed to be back yet. They were supposed to have time. He just wanted some goddamn time...
"You gotta go, right? So he won't know we're talking? Buck?" Steve brings his attention back to the screen.
He takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry but yes. I need to put everything away. He hasn't found the laptop yet."
He doesn't need to. Thanos controls all in-and outgoing communication. There is an electromagnetic field that can only be deactivated from his private room and Bucky's not there yet. He doesn't stand a chance to put it all back in time. Thanos needs to take one good look at the panel and he'll know.
"You know I love you, right?" He's surprised how calm he sounds.
Maybe Thanos won't take both eyes at once.
"I know. I love you, too." Steve gets choked up now. "You know, I can never repay you for what you did for me, for Earth. I know they spare us because of you."
"No, it's alright. It's not so bad." Don't fucking cry. "I only did it for you."
Despite the tears in his eyes, Steve gives him his bravest smile. It's the last thing Bucky wants to see.
"See you next time, Buck."
"Yeah, see you soon, Stevie."
The line disconnects. Bucky watches the empty black screen for a while.
They have an arrangement. Steve knows he's putting himself at risk so they only talk once a year on his birthday. It's never enough but Bucky counts the days.
Turning his body into a machine is Thanos's punishment for it. He has done the same thing to Nebula a long time ago and it's made her cold and angry.
Bucky doesn't want that. To stop feeling. To be a robot. A ghost. The soldier once more.
He doesn't know how long he sits there in the dark, staring at that point where Steve face had been until the intercom demands his presence in Thanos's room. Come at once.
When he finally stands up, it's like he's walking in a dream. The halls to Thanos's quarters are long and endless, and he moves slow, like he's threading water.
He tells himself he's not afraid of the pain, and he isn't really.
It's just that he won't be able to hide a missing eye from Steve. Or an artificial one. Maybe Thanos will be merciful and give him a new prosthetic right away. Purple and cold. Like his new arm and legs.
Can't have his warriors look weak.
Bucky is not going to ask for it though. He'd just lose his tongue, too, and he needs to keep some things to trade for the calls.
When he has no human parts left for Thanos to remove, he'll kill him. He's sure of it. The mad titan keeps him around because he enjoys it when Bucky cries real tears and does all these ridiculous human things. It's entertaining.
There is the door.
Bucky doesn't bother to announce his presence over the com. Protocol won't help him now. He takes a deep breath, pushes the button and enters.
Thanos is sitting in the middle of the vast room. It's dressed in golden colors and stone from foreign planets he's conquered in the past. Some of it must be from Earth.
At his feet there's the dismantled switch of the control panel. There are no scratch marks on it. Bucky had carefully removed it with the blade Thanos is holding in his hand right now. Just get it over with.
The titan turns to face him.
"Someone has been in my room." He flips the blade from hand to hand. "I wonder who it might have been."
His mouth has this mean twist that tells Bucky that he's angry but he'll act like they're having an innocent conversation over nothing.
Bucky knows this game. He'll try to deny it and Thanos is gonna ram this thing into his thigh. If he admits to it right away, Thanos might get to removing his body parts, the real punishment, sooner, but he won't feel entertained so he'll take more than he has to.
"Come over here. Sit."
Bucky does as he's told and tries to keep his heart rate down. It'll bleed less.
"I think Proxima likes to sit on your bed and browse the naughty channels when you're away."
Thanos laughes. There's no real humor in it. The hollow sound of it echoes.
"I already know it was you. I don't keep track of Earthern time but something tells me it's that special day of the year again when you lose your head and want me to punish you for calling him."
"Well, it's a hobby. You have those, don't you?"
Bucky sees the blade moving but does nothing to stop it. Fighting only makes it worse.
The pain in his right thigh explodes as Thanos sticks the blade deep into his flesh. Predictable.
He doesn't flinch. The titan watches him as he tries to breath through the pain. He's had worse and this is just the beginning.
"Do you feel this?" Thanos twists the blade slowly. "This is what your human emotions get you."
In all fairness, it's not like the guy had no idea about Bucky's plans. He would find a way to contact Steve every year without fail. Thanos knew this was happening the second he left the fleet. Otherwise, he would have had him guarded or taken him with. Thanos sets him up to fail because he enjoys this.
"Do you still think he's worth all this? Answer me."
"Yes," Bucky hisses.
Thanos stands up, towering over him."Pathetic."
He grabs him be the hair and drags him backwards until Bucky is flat on the ground. Laying on his back, like a defenseless animal showing its belly, he stares into Thanos's hateful face. It looms over him, telling Bucky to play dead.
"You know, you could make this a lot easier on yourself. What does he have that I can't give you?"
For one insane moment, Bucky thinks Thanos is gonna proposition him. He looks up to him with wide eyes, blinking, terrified. His heart rate picks up.
Don't show him you're afraid.
Then the mad titan shakes his head and steps back. He sighs. "This man isn't worth your pain."
Bucky feels a hot flash of anger flare up in his chest.
"He's weaker than you."
Just keep your mouth shut...
"You could crush him like a fly."
Bucky's feeling reckless and so he's already talking before his brain has had the chance to scream 'bad idea'.
"You know, you could kill a thousand planets and he'd still be worth more than ten of you."
Thanos takes the gauntlet from the display and slaps him across the face so hard, a few teeth come loose.
This is not Hydra.
Bucky coughs up blood and spit. Above him, the mad titan's face is twisted in rage. His voice rises to an unnatural volume when he screams. Bucky's ears ring.
"Shut your mouth! Don't scream! If you scream I'll go back there and then I'll make your precious Steve regret the day he was born!"
Bucky shuts his mouth fast.
Thanos twists the knife once more, then yanks it out of his thigh. Theres blood all across the floor. Injury sustained. He doesn't make a sound.
"Very well." The mad titan's voice becomes sweet again. "Now to your punishment."
He always makes it sound like such a fucking walk in the park, doesn't he?
Thanos sits back down close to his head and pets Bucky's hair. He doesn't move.
"You know what you did to deserve this, right?"
There's pity in the mad titan's eyes like he's talking to a stupid child that doesn't want to learn.
Maybe he is.
"You disobeyed the rules again. You made contact. Any and all contact with Steve Rogers is forbidden."
Bucky almost smiles. Steve was never one to follow the rules either.
It helps to think of Steve when these things happen. It reminds him why he made the choice to call him in the first place.
Thanos brings the blade to his eye."I'll only take one this time. We can replace it later. Call it a leap of faith."
Bucky doesn't reply. He knows that Thanos's pretend faith in him is misplaced because he can't stop. He won't. No matter what they'll take from him.
Next time, he'll just have to make up an excuse. Keep half of his face turned away or wear a bandage. Tell Steve it's from an injury sustained in battle.
He never asks what Bucky does to meet the agreement. It's doable.
Then, the next time after that, he'll tell Steve his camera isn't working. He just needs to tell him...
When Thanos starts cutting out his eye he screams after all.
—
He's lucky. The mad titan knows that it was an impossible request to stay quiet so he gets to make up for his mistake later.
Thanos appreciates effort. He's not that 'inhumane', he says, laughing terribly about his own joke.
He doesn't go back to Earth.
Steve keeps on living.
That's all that matters.