A.N.
Ok, so here's what I'm planning. The world from where Hinata comes from is obviously AU if you haven't already guessed it. And after dying, she gets reincarnated in the KHR!verse in an also AU setting as well.
How her previous world is will be explored through internal monologues throughout the chapters in hints and bits, but here is some info to have at least a vague understanding of it.
1) After the whole Fourth Shinobi War and the Kaguya arcs ended, Naruto and Hinata married and moved to a small house in a quiet and nice neighborhood. Most of Hinata's flashbacks, if there are any, will be starred here unless implied otherwise.
2)Sasuke never returned back to Konoha, traveling around the Elemental Countries instead. The Konoha citizens sure as hell don't forgive and want him back despite the fact that he helped in the war and is the last one to have the Sharingan kekkai genkai.
3)Neji didn't die, yeah!
4) ...I'll just add in other stuff when I think of them, hahaha.
WARNINGS: This fic is rated M for a reason, and yes, while I do plan of putting in the gory stuff, I would like to explore writing sexual themes here. As in yes, Hinata will be having sexual intercourse with men and even women ( I don't really think that shinobi care for gender and whatnot, their lives are short and they shouldn't limit their search for happiness for such a silly thing as to whether their partner has a penis or vagina. It is more important for the clan heads that they manage to have a legitimate offspring, of course ) whether they'd be important in the story or not. And not just because she wants too either. Well, you'll see. So if you aren't up to reading such stuff, or because you don't like my writing or because of the themes I'm rather excited to explore on, then you may go. I'm not keen on flames. Constructive critics, yes, if they have valid reasoning.
Also, IN SIRIUS NEED OF A BETA! So, if one of you are offering, just PM me.
Alright, here is The Childhood arc.
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1.
It was a nice life.
Quiet, peaceful and safe. She should love and appreciate it. After all, hasn't this been what the Elemental Countries all fought, risk dying and died for in the fourth shinobi war? A world where children are truly able to live their days happily and without the constant threat of enemies invading the village and losing loved ones hanging over their heads.
An ideal world.
But not the perfect one, if such a thing does exist.
Humans are not pure beings and there will always be those that venture too far the line.
"Remember, there is no such thing as black and white, only infinite shades of grey." Kurenai-sensei gazed at them warmly, a small smile on her beautiful face. "But, Sensei! How do we know if it's, you know, more black or more white?" Akamaru barked in agreement from atop Kiba-san's head, tilting his furry head to the side like his human partner. "Well," the young jounin leaned on the table, red lips pursed thoughtfully. Other customers, most of them fellow shinobi and kunoichi, meanwhile, leave and enter the nice, cozy tea shop, the bell door chiming almost mutely, muffled by the privacy seals placed on every table. "Do you think that killing is wrong?" Hinata fidgeted uncomfortably in her seat, not fully understanding the question. The killing is something that every shinobi would face sooner or later in their career, done mostly in missions from B rank to up, though it is highly possible that they would need to execute the action in a mere C rank as well. Shino-san coughed politely, opening his mouth to respond after an encouraging nod from their teacher."I think that-"
Cheers explode from her classmates, signaling that lunch break finally came. She blinks slowly to center herself before taking the bento that Nana-san kindly prepared for her and heads outside her desolate classroom, the children having left hurriedly for the courtyard already.
Nana-san is the young woman that birthed her, very sweet and a tad naive, but then again, there was no reason for her to harden herself for any imminent tragedy or for her to dress like a concealed miniature armory. She is a great cook, even better than the ones assigned to prepare the Main house' food. They get along well enough, but she didn't consider the woman her mother. She feels saddened and a bit guilty for depriving her of the devotion and love only children could give their parents, but she is a kunoichi, or at least had been in her former life.
It was a fact that shinobi matured more quickly than civilians, less they fell in battle for such petty reasons like being in a feud with a comrade. And it is mostly for this that she could never view Nana-san as a mother, it is much too like the opposite actually. She sometimes wishes to help and guide the young woman, much like what Kurenai-sensei did with her teammates and her.
It seems such a long time ago that she was eating dinner with her teammates, reminiscing of the days they spent together before they had to steel their hearts and get ready for war. As if the time she spent in the company of Kurenai-sensei, cooing over sweet Mirai-chan and wishing of a little blond child with pale, pupilless eyes and a blinding smile were mere dreams that quickly vanished from mind once awoken from slumber if not grasped tightly.
"You're doing it again." An upset voice cuts through her melancholic thoughts before a small hand reaches for her face.
She leans instinctively away, stopping when she sees the hurt look upon the boy's, her brother, face. She takes his fingers before it falls to his side, marveling at how tiny their hands are and presses it gently to her cheek.
"I apologize for hurting you, Yoshi-kun." She tells him softly, smiling when he huffs, the red blush upon his round cheeks contrasting quite nicely with his light skin.
"You didn't hurt me!" He draws his chin up proudly, spine straightening but came closer to her anyway when she opens her arms for him. Fragile arms encircle her waist and she runs a hand through his dark blond hair as he lays his head on her lap. "I'm strong," he mumbles to her stomach. "And I'll protect you and mama always." And so quiet she nearly doesn't hear him, he said. "I love you, Zumi."
Hinata, now called Kazumi, feels an almost startling amount of love and affection for the small child clinging to her, but not quite enough to quail the sadness and grief in her heart completely. She doesn't think it possible to stop longing for the life she had back then and for this, she feels remorseful. Yoshi-kun and Nana-san don't deserve to not be loved wholeheartedly, don't deserve someone broken like her for a family. They deserve more, someone who has a clean slate and not blood in their hands and the willingness to leave them, should the chance of returning home ever arise.
They deserve so much more.
She pushes back the urge to cry when her brother, her sunshine, turns his head towards her due to her prolonged silence and smiles at him.
"I love you as well, Yoshi-kun, more than anything else in this world."
If he noticed the almost unnoticeable waver in her voice, he didn't say anything. She takes his hand again and kisses his palm, nuzzling to it tenderly.
A pleased smile is her answer and she decides that for as long as she stays in this world, she will do her best to ensure that he stays happy and keep that bright glimmer in his eyes.
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2.
All good things always come to an end.
Hinata, now called Kazumi, watches numbly as the machine, a plane, slowly and steadily departs from the ground, flying away in the sky, carrying along with it her one true anchor to this life towards another continent in this strange, big world and feels helpless furthermore.
It is a familiar feeling, a constant companion throughout her previous life. It isn't welcomed in the slightest.
She tears her eyes away once the plane becomes a mere dot, wishing that she has the Byakugan again when she sees the brokenhearted look on Nana-san's face and the silent tears that glisten and fall from her doe eyes.
She somehow feels closer to her, a kinship that wasn't there before linking them together. She knows that expression intimately and remembers that not only is the woman losing her child that day, but also a husband who knows how many times already. She isn't much familiar with the man that Nana-san is married to, but she knows how loyal and dedicated the young woman is to him, aware of the times her whole body seemed to brighten at the sight of a letter filled with messy penmanship and the rare calls here and there from the phone. She is in awe at how advanced the technology has progressed here and still is.
All women married to shinobi had donned that look countless times too.
She would know.
From what she gathered from the short visit, Iemitsu, their father or papa as he told them to call him, loves them very much, but the way he walked and moved and the faint, lingering scent of blood that she smelled on his clothes were more than evidence enough that he was no ordinary businessman and certainly had a load of skeletons in that bright orange luggage of his.
She doesn't think that Nana-san knows any of it, though more probably than not the woman suspected something amiss behind her loving smiles. It must be serious if the man feared that not even his wife's naturally accepting nature and devotion towards him could endure the truth of his secrecy.
Reflecting on it logically, the matter is plausibly threatening to them so she doesn't understand why the man would take Yoshi-kun away with him but knows that it isn't quite entirely his choice due to the reluctance and regret in his eyes. That doesn't mean that she doesn't fault him for endangering her brother and them knowingly, leaving them in ignorance and more specifically to the uncertainty of the dangers that may lay ahead. Of course, there could be secret bodyguards protecting them in the shadows but that isn't enough.
Team eight had never been meant to be an assassination squad or even a frontline one like Team seven was, but assassination jobs were rather frequent missions and even she had participated in at least thirty or so to know that all it took was a single moment of inattentiveness to find a dead corpse hours later. She didn't really like murdering people in cold blood during their sleep, especially as the majority of their targets were incapable of fighting back as they were nobles and as such had mercenaries, whether they be samurai or shinobi, to do the dirty work for them, but to be promoted to Jounin they were necessary.
The trip back to their house is quiet and both females notice vividly the awkward silence permeating between them, the bridge connecting them starkly absent. She feels rueful that their relationship is abysmally lacking and knew that the blame is mainly hers but the matter is that she truly isn't that determined to create bonds here. She is no Naruto, who has that genuine charm that manages to draw and enthrall each person he has ever spoken with. What she is resolved to do, however, is to return to her world and her friends and family, and the last thing she wants is to leave people she loves behind. She knows how it feels, watching her loved ones' back as they leave and never return.
It would be painful enough to part with her dear brother and she is aware that she is being entirely selfish, but... she can't not ache and long for her precious people.
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3.
The days blurred together and Hinata, now called Kazumi, apprehends how withdrawn and reclusive she has turned to be. Without Yoshi-kun to drag her to play games with the other children and have her attention focused on him solely now, the world felt all the more tiring and monotonous.
She is doing it again, she realizes bitterly.
She is revolving her life around another person again, just like Before. She feels ashamed. She has been viewing and treating her brother as though he was her husband and her's child. No, worse than that. She treated him as though he was the consolation gift she yearned for as she didn't get the love she had been longing for from her husband. She sighs and covers her eyes with a hand. Fumiko-sensei's rambling about the Tokugawa period, the student's whispered chatters, the pencil scratching on paper and the rustling of clothes on the background are definitely not helping with the brewing headache she could feel coming.
She raises her hand.
"Yes, Sawada-chan?" Fumiko-sensei asks, a sweet smile on her face as slight concern pooled in her tawny brown eyes. Perhaps she hasn't masked her emotions as well as she believed. The thought makes her almost frown, an unnoticeable crinkle near her eyes emerging. She was getting out of touch with her abilities. A heavy feeling settles in her gut. If she were to return to Konoha, then she would have to be in top shape, especially considering that her sudden appearance would be wholly impossible to them due to her death. She might be accused of lying and attempted espionage and she knew that the Hyuga clan would definitely be completely enraged on her - Hinata's - behalf at the presumed disrespect. Not to mention, her current form is far from being similar to her previous body.
A shudder tingled in her spine, suddenly remembering Orochimaru's...failed method of immortality. She could have phrased that better.
"May I please be excused to the toilet, Fumiko-sensei?" she asks demurely, walking to the door calmly when given permission.
More importantly, though is that she needs to consider the difference between the timelines of this world and of her homeland, not to mention that this was about traveling from universe to universe and chances were that she could end up on a whole other new one. Of course, all her theories are based on time-traveling and even the notes her husband had of his Father's most coveted technique, the Flying Thunder God, and even then all she knew of it was that it consisted of teleporting in the present time from great distances. Perhaps, she could find out more with the technical advancement here, or something to help her start with.
She splashed her face with cold water to help clear her head, her shoulders slumping tiredly as she stared vacantly at the sink.
How did this even happen? While she never excluded the thought of reincarnation being a possibility, the fact that she would remember her previous life had never crossed her mind. She wanted to go home, wake up and feel relief that all this was just a dream. She brings her clasped hands in front of her face, pressing them to her forehead as her stomach tightened in anxiety and pain.
Did... their baby survive? She hopes so, knowing that their child would be well taken care of. Perhaps, Naruto-kun would even stay longer in the village to spend time with their precious little sun. She would have loved it so much to watch them bond together. She knows that he is good with children, just a brief glance at Konohamaru-kun's and his' interaction is proof enough. Is their child a boy or a girl? Did their baby inherit those mesmerizing sky blue eyes that she fell in love with? And those whiskers that only he has. Curiosity burns in her chest and her hands fall to grip herself in a tight hug, imagining that they were someone else'.
Soft footsteps snap her back to reality and she composes herself quickly, glancing briefly to the mirror to see her reflection. Soft and curly butterscotch hair and doe-like amber eyes greet her, a startling difference from her former dark coloring. She meets hazel eyes through the mirror, nodding politely at the girl that entered the loo.
"Ah, Sawada-senpai! Hello, good morning," The girl grins at her cheerily, and she tries identifying her name, feeling guilty when she comes up blank. "Hello and good morning to you too," She settles on saying, smiling at her enthusiasm. "Please feel free to refer to me as Kazumi, there is no need to be so formal with me." A light blush rises on the unnamed girl's cheeks, her grin widening. "Then call me Sachiko-chan, Kazumi-senpai!" She hums in agreement before excusing herself, she stayed more than long enough away from the classroom but pauses when Sachiko-chan addressed her once more.
"Ano, would Kazumi-senpai like to play with me during lunch break? It'll be fun, I promise!" The girl looks at pleadingly, her lower lip jutting out in a pout as she bounces slightly on her heels. She huffs out a small laugh, finding her attempt at persuasion adorable. Little Sachiko-chan reminded her of Ino-chan and Sakura-chan just then, whenever they invited her out for a girl-only outing along with Tenten-senpai and, when she was also in the village, Temari-senpai. "I'll be happy to play with you, Sachiko-chan. See you later."
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