Everyone was writing about how Cas grabbed Dean's hand in the Impala or how they finally kissed after Mary fell asleep and even after reading all those codas and trying to make myself believe everything was already written and far better than what I could ever write, I just HAD TO WRITE THIS AND I HOPE YOU LIKE IT BECAUSE I DO :D

Enjoy ;) ;) ;)

12X01 KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON - CODA 2
I'll Make Sure You're Okay

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Dean's hands were firmly clenched around the steering wheel and everyone in the impala was silent. The only sound Dean could hear was her sweet purr that he loved so much. It always helped to calm him down and forget about his problems, but Sammy was kidnapped and he could never forget about that, they had to get him back somehow.

Cas was sitting right next to him, and Mary was in the back, looking out of the window at the dark trees and occasional yellow lights from other lonely cars or gas stations. And Dean still couldn't believe it, still couldn't make himself believe that Mary, his mother, was real and that she was there with them, safe. That was why he kept glancing at her, so often that he was sure Cas was only seconds away from taking over and driving his baby instead of him.

It wasn't only because he couldn't get his head around the fact that his mom was alive, it was also because of what happened to her. She spent her life running away from this, and then when she suddenly gets pulled back in, it doesn't even last a day and she already has to kill someone. Dean was the one who should have killed the woman, certainly not his mom who hadn't killed anyone in such a long time. She didn't deserve this, she shouldn't even be here with them, maybe she should have stayed at the bunker...

But this was about Sammy, an important member of their little family and they needed help from everyone, including their mother.

Dean looked back on the road and instead of looking at Mary, he looked at Cas. The angel looked sad and angry at once. His jaw was set and his hand was clenched into a fist, resting on his thigh. Dean glanced down and then back up at Cas' hard face, willing Cas to look at him. And Cas did.

"Hey," Dean said, just like he did when they hugged. Worriedly and softly but still loud enough for Cas to hear him. "You alright?"

"Yes, Dean." Cas answered and without staring into his eyes for a suspiciously long time, he turned back to stare out of the window. Huh. Dean was 100% sure that was a lie. It was the way the Winchesters lied all the time, well, except for Mary - she was honest about not being okay. She could teach them a thing or two. First thing – accept that you're not okay and talk about it with your family. Sammy should learn that, and he should too. And it seemed Cas would also need a little lesson on that because Dean knew he wasn't okay and he was definitely going to do something about it. He would have to talk to him once they were alone.

About an hour later and after two hours of refusing Cas' offer to drive, Dean pulled up in front of a motel. Mary was asleep and Dean didn't want his mother's first sleep to be on the backseat. She deserved a real bed.

While Castiel stayed in the car to keep an eye on her, Dean checked them in and got them two rooms. One for his mom, and one for him and Cas. He opened the door and gently shook Mary's shoulder until she woke up. The first moment she laid her eyes on him, it seemed as if she had forgotten that this wasn't a dream and that she was indeed alive again. Then she blinked and smiled at him, finally getting out of the car.

After Dean led her to her room and gave her the keys, she hugged him tight and kissed his cheek. He was not used to that, and he knew he was a stranger in her eyes, but he was very grateful for the gesture.

"Goodnight, mom." He smiled at her.

"Goodnight, sweetie." She smiled in return and then closed the door. When Dean was alone again, he turned around and wasn't even surprised to find Cas already standing there.

"We should get to our room, come on." Dean told him and Cas only nodded. Their room was right next to Mary's motel room, so in case anything happened during the night (or better to say... the rest of the night), they could be right there and help each other.

Dean took the keys from Cas' hand and opened the door, switching on the lights. The room wasn't one of the best, but there was a bathroom and a bed and Dean didn't really need anything else. Before he'd crash into the bed and let the sleep take over, he needed to do one thing though.

He turned around and found Castiel sitting on a chair near the bed. He looked exhausted and somehow... still angry.

"Hey, Cas." Dean started as he sat down on the corner of the bed, right in front of his angel. "I think we need to talk."

Cas straightened up, but didn't look into his eyes. "Whatever you need, of course, Dean." He said. It sounded so emotionless and ashamed all at once. It hurt Dean to hear that.

"You've seemed a little... angry lately." Dean started. He knew it wasn't the best start, but it was the main issue he wanted to address in this conversation. When Cas shifted in his seat and refused to look up at him, Dean narrowed his eyes. "You know that... this wasn't your fault, right? I know Sam's gone, but you did nothing wrong."

When Cas looked up at him, he had tears in eyes. "How can you say that?" He asked and Dean was slightly taken aback by the sudden emotional outburst. "I failed you. Again." Cas looked down again and Dean sighed. "I'm sorry." He added in a defeated voice.

Dean stood up and walked over to Cas so he could be closer to him as he looked down. "Cas, that bitch blasted you away before you could even do something, I saw the sigil on the wall."

"I should have known, I should have noticed." Cas gritted through his teeth, closing his eyes and looking down.

Dean sighed and knelt down in front of his friend. "Cas, look at me." And Cas raised his head, staring at him with tears in eyes. Another thing that he learned from humans - angels never cried, but Cas did. "I don't blame you for this." Dean told him, staring up at him. "Sam is a Winchester, who could even take care of him? No one can take care of us, we always get into trouble."

"But I promised you and only hours after that Sam was already gone." Cas told him slowly, trying to get his breathing under control. Dean frowned as he was watching him. Cas cheeks were flushed and his eyes were red-rimmed, staring at him as if he was a miracle.

"This isn't only about Sam being gone, is it?" Dean asked, getting straight to the point. Castiel stayed silent as he was watching him and then his eyes dropped and he took a shaky breath. Dean already knew what this was all about even before Cas started talking.

"I... I thought you were dead."

And Dean couldn't take it any longer. He stood up and touched Cas' shoulder gently, just like Cas always touched his. "Come here," he mumbled and in the next moment, his arms were full of the angel, clinging to him far more desperately than when Mary was watching them in the bunker. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean, squeezing the fabric of his shirt on his back and listening to his heartbeat, and Dean couldn't help but smile and close his eyes when he hugged Cas back.

"It's alright, I'm alive." Dean told him, tightening the hug because he knew Cas needed it and to be fair, he needed it just as much. It has been a long time since anyone hugged him so intensely like that.

"Dean." Cas breathed out, hiding his face in Dean's strong shoulder.

And they stayed like that for far longer that Dean thought he was comfortable with, but to be honest he never minded having Cas so close to him. He almost wanted them to stay like that the whole night. But he needed his sleep so they could continue on their way to Missouri in the morning, so he patted Cas' back to signalize they should pull away again.

Cas sighed when he felt it and pulled away, just like Dean expected. Dean took him by his shoulders though and kept him close, looking into his blue eyes. "You okay?" He asked.

And after a while, Cas nodded. "I will be." He answered honestly and smiled at Dean, hesitating for a second while looking down at his lips and although Dean noticed that, before he was sure he wanted to just lean in and let it happen, Cas was already stepping away and looking at the ground again.

"You should get some sleep." He looked up, leaving Dean still slightly leaned forward.

"Yeah." He nodded and straightened up, walking over to the bed and only kicking off his shoes before he slid under the covers. When he looked up and saw Cas just standing there, not really knowing what to do, he regretted he didn't lean forward a few moments ago. So he patted the empty space next to him and smiled up at Cas. "Stay with me?"

The bright smile that spread across Cas' face was the only answer Dean needed. Cas took off his trench coat and his tie, leaving them on the chair and laid down right next to Dean who'd already pulled away the covers so he could cover them again.

Cas snapped his fingers to switch off the light and was slightly surprised when he felt Dean's body shifting closer to him. He hesitantly raised his hand, as if afraid he would be rejected if he attempted to touch Dean like that, but instead he heard, "just do it Cas," followed by a soft little laugh.

And so he did. He wrapped his arm around Dean's stomach under the covers and pressed his body to Dean's back, relaxing on the bed and closing his eyes, finally feeling better after the difficult last few days and after Lucifer.

"Goodnight, Dean." Cas whispered.

"Night, Cas."

Sorry for any grammar mistakes, I'm not native speaker... well, I hope you liked it! ;)