Chapter 1

From the Beginning

I wake up in a layer of sweat that covers my body and dampens the sheets on my bed. I sit up and run a hand through my dark, damp locks and let out a labored breath. I swallow the small amount of saliva that has amassed in my mouth to ease my parched throat. My eyes begin to burn and water.

I feel like the embodiment of sickness.

Aside from my physical ailments, my mind races a mile a minute recounting the events that just happened. But the term 'just happened' would be incorrect here. If everything went the way it should have, then 'just happened' hasn't happened yet and hopefully never will. Basically, I should be back in time.

This would be, if I am indeed back in time and not in some fresh cut of Hell, Wednesday morning. Roughly around seven o' clock. The sky should be clear, and the birds should be voicing their songs to the world.

If everything went the way it should have, that is.

And if that's the case, then I should be getting a message right abo-

BZZT!

My cell phone rattles against my side table sending a current of brief panic through my body. I glance at the phone, though I can't see what it displays due to my contact lenses not being in. A small part of me doesn't even want to know what it says in fear that nothing changed. But that's irrational; I know what it is. It should be a message from Ryosuke asking me if I want to check out his kendo club with him after school today.

I place my head in my hands and take a breath. I know full well that this worked and that Monika held up her end of the deal, I can feel it, but I still have reservations that something may very well be off. Well, there is one thing off, I was never sick the last two times I lived through this day. I take a look at my hands only to see that they've grown visibly paler, even in this dim light it's clear to see. I lean back and rest my head against the wall and close my eyes.

I've been given a chance to make something good out of an awful situation. If I can't even get myself out of bed right now, then I didn't deserve this. That thought alone was enough motivation for me to swing my legs over the side of my bed and stand up. A cruel response to my motivation comes in as a wave of dizziness spreads throughout my body like a harrowing current. I rest my fingers on my side table to steady my legs. I scan what now appears to be blurred shapes on the table for something that looks like the case that holds my contact lenses. Of course, as luck would have it, I can't seem to find it.

It suddenly dawns on me that I never put them there in the first place, they should be in the bathroom where I left them.

I feel for my phone and raise it up towards me. Luckily, muscle memory forced me to hold my phone far away from my face before turning on the blinding display. With a few swipes of the thumb I had turned the brightness down and could clearly see the date and time:

June 6, 2017

7:12 AM

As soon as the date and time registered in my mind, I was stabbed in the back of the head.

Well, at least that's what it felt like.

A mind-boggling, powerful demon of a migraine gripped my skull and refused to let go. The phone slipped from my hand, and my vision grew blurry. I press my hands to the side of my head and squeeze tightly hoping that pressure would alleviate the pain. But, of course, it couldn't be that easy for me.

The bathroom. I'd have to make it to the bathroom and take something for this, maybe run my head under the sink for a while. Something.

Anything.

Anything to stop this pain.

Each step I took towards the bathroom was like fighting an uphill battle while walking on flat ground. With each step, a rhythmic pulse of pain would terrorize my skull. It was like some seriously pissed off miniature goblin was inside of my head with the sole purpose of scrambling my brain into something that resembled a crudely prepared plate of scrambled eggs. Essentially, it was the most painful headache I've ever experienced in my life.

Upon finally arriving at the bathroom and being shocked yet again by the bright bathroom light, I managed to find some pain medication. I promptly threw the pills back into my throat and washed it down with water from the sink to which I immediately stuck my head under and let the water run over my already damp hair.

After several minutes of this, I turn the faucet off and collapse back against the shower door behind me. Water runs off my hair and onto my shirt and the white and black tiled floor. I pinch the bridge of my nose while simultaneously thanking whatever god is listening for ridding me of this headache from hell. Well, the headache was still there, but it felt more like pressure as if I had never removed my hands from my head earlier.

I slide myself up the shower door into a standing position, strip down to the nude, and recede into the shower's warm, water-based embrace. I rest my forehead against the wall of the shower and close my eyes allowing the water to cascade down my back in several different branches. At last, I was able to think and collect my thoughts.

Now that I know I'm back in the past for sure I need to have a plan of action. I need to be able to know exactly what I can do to change the course of this timeline. Obviously, that would mean I would have to save Sayori first. All I had to go on was the fact that Monika had amplified Sayori's depression from being harmful to debilitating which resulted in her committing suicide.

Suicide.

She had committed suicide.

Sayori. My best friend. My light.

Despite the heat of the water, the blood in my body ran cold as I thought back to that day. My headache came back with a vengeance as I recalled how she looked: pale, lifeless... gone in mind and spirit but still there in body. I still remember how I felt when I sat there, horrified and broken, unable to comprehend the weight of the situation. Except I did understand what was going on, I understood all too well; I just couldn't face the truth. I remember the only words that had gone through my head the entire time:

Never. Never. Never. Never.

Those words ran through my mind at a breakneck speed and tormented me with their cold truth, 'You'll never be able to take this back.' If Monika hadn't sent me back in time, I would have lost my mind right there. But then again, removing Sayori's existence from everyone else's memories certainly didn't help. When Sayori's existence was wiped from the face of the earth, I had felt so alone in holding all of the memories of her that I could never share again. The fact that my mind remained sound was an enigma I hope I'll never need to solve.

To quote myself, I should never, never, never, never have to experience that hell again. Not with this chance I've been given. I'll save her life no matter what, and I'll put a real smile on her face. A world without Sayori is a world without light. My world, anyway.

Next up would be Yuri. There isn't too much I know about her. She had always sheltered herself from the rest of the club so I could never correctly gauge her real personality, but as far as I could tell, and from what Monika said to me in that... place, she had an obsessive personality coupled with an unhealthy obsession with knives. She also seemed to suffer from self-harm. For just a brief a moment I remember when I had wanted to turn to the blade just to feel something different than the mundane everyday disappointment that plagued my life. I'm just glad I never did, but Yuri... I just hope I can talk to her and help her. If only she could open up to me, I'd never let her feel the pain of numbness again. I'm sure that in some way I could relate to her and maybe that way we could help each other through our experiences. Besides, I could see her as being a great friend to sit down with and discuss anything that came to mind for hours on end.

At least I don't have to worry about her psychotic breakdown as that just wasn't who she was at all. Thanks to Monika, though, she turned into something she didn't even understand. I even remember her telling me about it. She knew that something was happening to her. She just didn't know how to stop it. Looking back on those conversations I can't help feeling sorry for her; this never should've happened. No one deserved this. I know I have to make it right somehow.

I know Yuri will be difficult to crack, but I know that I at least have more time to help her than I do for Sayori. I can't tell for sure if Sayori had ever planned on committing suicide before Monika had manipulated her into going through with it, so she's my number one priority. At least I know for sure that Natsuki should be relatively okay, with her being so young I'd hate to see that there's something wrong with her too.

Another thing I need to worry about is this sudden sickness. It's gone now, but I don't know what caused it. It could've been stress on my body, or maybe I just caught something small for a few minutes, but that's not really how sickness works. It's something I'll have to ask Monika about, provided that she remembers all of this. Though I can't see why she wouldn't, she already pulled us back in time once and she remembered it... To think she thought she was doing the right thing.

Monika... There was so much to her that I didn't know about. For her to just snap like that... there must be something up with her. I don't even know how she did all of this, and no ordinary human being can just rewind time or manipulate the very fibers of someone's being. This isn't a movie or anything so how could this be possible? I just know that there's a lot I need to discuss with her today. And, to be truthful, I don't know if I'm dreading it or looking forward to it.

The water in the shower runs cold to signify that I've been in there far longer than I needed to be. I shut the water off and wrap a towel around my waist before heading back to my room to change into my uniform.

As I pull my blazer over my shoulders, I check the text message from earlier and, sure enough, it was from Ryosuke: 'Hey Akira, if you'd like I can show you around my club after school if you still haven't found a club. Think about it. I'll see you in homeroom!'

I pull my school bag over my shoulder before texting back: 'Sorry for the late reply. I'll think about it. See you at school.'

Before I can put my phone down, it buzzes angrily again. This time, I receive a message from Jun: 'Yo, Akira, check this trailer out. This anime's gonna be so sick!'

Attached is a link to what appears to be some mecha anime PV, I smirk and roll my eyes. I had forgotten that Jun sends me this trailer. I never actually watched it when he first sent it to me because I was walking to school with Sayori.

...

With Sayori.

I check the time.

7:54.

I'm late!

I won't be late getting to school, but I should've already met Sayori outside by now. We should already be crossing the railroad tracks now. I shouldn't have stayed in the shower that long, I'm already screwing up the timeline in a way I don't want. I didn't even put on my contacts yet. I swear under my breath and reach into my bedside table drawer for my glasses. I'd have to settle for these today instead of wasting time putting on contacts.

As soon as I fit the black frames over my face, I make a break for the front door while making sure to shut off all of the lights and grabbing my house keys. I quickly swing the door open fully ready to start scanning the area like some sort of psychopath trying to look for Sayori. But it seems like I won't have to look more than a few inches in front of me to find her.

At the speed I was going I had almost run her over trying to fly out of the house like some low-budget marathon runner.

"Oh! Geez, Aki, you scared me!" Sayori's hand was still up like she was about to knock on my door.

I take a brief moment to really see her, to know that she's really real, to know that she's alive and that she's right in front of me. I could cry, but I know I shouldn't, there's no possible way for me to explain my way out of that one. At least I can talk my way out of this: I put my hands on her shoulders and pull her in for a hug.

She's shocked at first, as expected, "Ah- Aki! What're you doing?" she stammers that last bit before awkwardly patting me on the back.

I'm just happy that she's real, that she's warm, and that she's safe. I had missed her far more than I realized. But even then, that was a bad move, letting my emotions get the best of me and hugging her like that. I can't do this sort of thing even if I really want to. It's so out of character for me. Still, I find it hard to regret.

I pull away, and she's blushing, she looks out from the corners of her eyes past me, embarrassed.

I swallow the lump in my throat and scratch the back of my neck, "Ah... I'm sorry. I was just really happy to see you. You know, I uh- I missed you- I mean, I missed walking to school with you-"

Congratulations, smooth-talker, now you're in an endless cycle of stammering through words that are only going to make this situation more and more awkward. Luckily for me, Sayori saves the situation by completely ignoring what I just said and only picks up on the last part:

"You wanted to walk to school with me again?" her blue eyes light up, and she's practically jumping in excitement.

In this moment, things turn back to how they used to be for us. My heart feels light. Finally, I'm at ease. For now, anyway, I have plenty of work to do, but at least now things feel familiar.

"Yeah, of course, it's been a while," I respond trying to gain some shred of my 'cool' back.

She smiles sweetly, "That's why I was coming here, actually. I didn't see you leaving so I thought you might be home. I'm happy that you wanted to walk to school with me though, I missed that a lot," she admits.

The fact that we didn't walk to school anymore was my fault really, and it was something that I regretted only when it was too late. If I had known that Sayori wouldn't be able to be out of her house in time for me because of her depression, I would've waited for her or went and gotten her myself. I won't make those mistakes anymore.

I smile at her, "Me too. Let's get going before we're too late."

She nods in agreement, and we set off down the usual road to school.

About five minutes into our walk that consisted of exchanges about trivial topics she stops and grabs my arm. She has a horrified look on her face as she stares into my eyes, my heart starts beating like a drum while my mind tries to keep up with theories on what just went wrong.

But instead of something genuinely life-threatening, I get a load of this:

"Akira, there's something wrong with your face."

Really?

"Are you kidding me?" I ask frowning at her.

I was so worried for a second only for her to suggest that there's something wrong with my face, which is, by the way, a little hurtful.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that! I meant you're wearing glasses today," she corrects herself quickly.

If I could roll my eyes any harder I would, "Sayori, you're just now noticing that?"

Of course, she ignores what I say and immediately gets up onto the tips of her toes and removes the glasses from my face before promptly examining them and continuing down the path to school as if I disappeared. She's disturbingly good at seamlessly switching to a different plane of existence. I merely shake my head and catch up with her as she turns my glasses around thoughtfully. She runs her slender fingers over the brand's emblem before speaking, "You haven't worn these in a really long time."

She was right. I hadn't worn those for at least five years. They were just backups at this point because I now strictly wore contacts. However, due to how they don't help my vision as much anymore, I've considered getting a new prescription.

"Nah, not for a while," I muse.

She hands them back over to me and watches as I put them back on before looking away with a fit of giggles.

"What is it?" I asked raising an eyebrow at her.

She folds her hands together in front of her, "You look like a dork with those on," she can hardly contain her laughter.

I love having her back and hearing her laugh again, "Oh?" I feign hurt, "At least I haven't worn this since the beginning of my existence," I flick the red bow she always wears in her hair.

She puts both of her hands on her head, "Aw, come on, this is cute, though," she pouts.

I playfully nudge her shoulder, "And my glasses aren't cute? Are you kidding? You know some people..." I pause to sweep my hair back except for one curly lock, "...call me Superman."

She puts a hand in front of her mouth trying and failing to stifle her laughter. I try to say something else that's witty, but I can't get through the first word without breaking into a fit of laughter which in turn encourages Sayori to start laughing as well.

"You really are a dork," she says when she regains her composure.

I scoff at the comment, "Says you. I'll have you know that-"

"But~~" she interjects, "You're my best dork."

"If that was supposed to be another way of saying best friend, then I'm taking a detour, and you can walk to school by yourself," I deadpan.

Her shoulders slump, "Meanie. It was clever!"

"That was almost as bad as some of my jokes," I counter.

"But I wasn't joking," she protests.

"Oh God, I know, I think that was the worst part. You thought that actually worked," it was quite fun for me to tease her like this.

She simply sighs and shakes her head.

A few moments later she's already moved onto the next topic, "So, you thought of joining any clubs finally?" she asks.

This time I could see her ulterior motive from a mile away, except she follows up with a question I hadn't expected and that she didn't ask last time, "What about the music club?"

I hadn't thought of making music in a long time, much less joining the school's club.

I swallow, "No, I'm not doing that. I was actually looking at-"

"Why not? You were so good at it, though! It would be fun, I'd love to hear you make music again!" she's really supportive about this, but that's just like her. I know she wants me to join the Literature Club even though she hasn't mentioned it, but it's nice that Sayori would support my decision seeing as how she's egging me on for this.

"That's past tense - was good, not anymore. That's not my thing anymore," I say, my voice has a sense of finality to it that even Sayori picks up on.

She purses her lips, "Okay, what about the Literature Club?"

"Your club?"

"Mhm, you should come today, it'll be fun!"

I bite my lip and dramatically look up to the crystal clear blue sky, "I don't know~ Sounds kind of dull."

As if.

Of all the things that were and weren't dull in my life, the Literature Club certainly didn't turn out to be dull.

"What! No! It's not dull at all," she protests grabbing my arm for attention, "We have lots of fun!"

"What? Reading books in a circle or something?" I look down into her eyes and it's as if I can see her trying to come up with something to say, I decide to go ahead and just speak before she can, "Hey, I'll think about it, okay?"

"Really? You promise?"

"I promise."

"Pinky swear?"

"Sayori."

She holds out her pinky. She hasn't changed.

I roll my eyes and lock pinkies with her, "Pinky swear. Satisfied?"

She smiles brightly, "Yes! We're going to have so much fun today. I can't wait!"

"Hey, now, we still have to survive regular school hours," I say, "And speaking of school hours, we're almost there."

In the distance, peeking above the lush, green trees lies our school. It was a very well-kept school that looked like it just came out of construction despite its age. I suppose that was because it was a school dedicated to the performing arts, so it lied in between the threshold of a prestigious and standard institute. I initially wanted to come to this high school for music, but now I'm just a regular student. Sayori, on the other hand, came here because her entrance exam scores were good enough to land her in this school.

"Hmmm," her eyes are closed and she's humming to herself happily. For a moment I wonder if she really is happy right now, or is just simply bluffing.

I nudge her on the shoulder as we begin to filter into the school crowd that consists of couples, friend groups, and loners alike all filing through the front gates, "Hey, Earth to Sayori," I raise my voice to be heard over the cacophony of morning conversations as we walk through the main courtyard, "I'll see you later, okay? I'll drop by your class after school and we'll go to your club."

She smiles, "Deal! I'll see you later, Aki!"

I stand off to the side and watch her run off to the other side of the school. I suddenly raise my eyebrow when I see her catch up with a familiar-looking pink-haired student carrying a tin foil covered tray. Natsuki? Does she have homeroom with Natsuki? That can't be, Natsuki is a first-year student and Sayori's a second-year student. I shrug it off. It doesn't matter too much anyway.

In the midst of the courtyard and surrounded by the crowd trying to pass me and get to their destinations I smile towards the ground. I know I have a good chance of making things right, I can feel it in my bones. I look up at the front of the main school building to see the giant, old-fashioned clock ticking away.

8:20.

I have a good ten minutes to get to class. I turn on my heel and head to homeroom.