Author's note: At the beginning of this story I said this would probably be three parts? Time has gotten away from me. I think of this story often, this particular part has been sitting on my laptop for months now, untouched. I realized the other day that I hadn't updated this since months ago and decided that even though I hadn't finished this off or gone as far as I wanted with this part I wanted to upload it anyway. Things were originally going to progress with Dean and Seth a bit more later in this chapter but I never got there. Here's what I have so far. Something is better than nothing. I am hoping that uploading this and putting it back in my mind some will help me possibly finish it. I would love to see this fic finished. If you're reading this, THANK YOU! A review would be awesome.
With Dean safe and sound at least until morning, Seth soared through the night sky, his wings carrying him on the wind as he flew home to the heavens. He climbed higher with each flap of his wings, ascending towards the promised land so many prayed and worked to earn entry to once their time on earth was done. Being an angel had its ups and downs, Seth was all too familiar with both the rewards and drawbacks. As he made his way back up and sped through the pearly gates Seth thought of his favorite part of being an angel. Flight. Coasting through the sky never failed to help Seth clear his head and served as a great asset to help bring him some semblance of peace after particularly difficult nights spent preventing Dean from coming to his premature demise.
Despite the events that had transpired just hours ago, Seth felt calm and in good spirits as his wings carried him towards the little section of the heavens that he called home. He'd nearly reached home when he spotted a familiar figure in the distance, flying towards him and approaching fast. "Shit." Seth swore quietly as he landed, one hand shielding his eyes as he squinted and watched the small figure get larger and larger as it closed in on him. "Roman." Seth called out, the word heavily coated with dread.
"Seth! Seth Rollins!" That deep, booming voice reached Seth long before Roman himself did, a shiver shooting straight through Seth when he noted the fashion in which Roman yelled his name. Roman was Seth's boss and an archangel. Seth was considered an intermediary between humans, their souls, and God. Roman was the intercessor between the big man himself and Seth, and he was a fearsome boss indeed. He never failed to strike fear in the hearts of those he spoke to and any angel working underneath Roman's watch was most careful not to end up on Roman's bad side. The man's appearance read more like Greek God than archangel, his large muscles and sculpted body leftovers from his living days as a professional football player. When Roman talked you listened. His demeanor was always serious and Seth couldn't recall an instance where the man wasn't all about business. Roman landed close to Seth and looked him over, seemingly disgusted with what he saw. Just feeling his eyes on him made Seth's skin crawl. A visit from Roman was never good. "Seth, we need to talk. I've been sent to give you a warning."
Seth crossed both arms to his chest and stared at the ground as Roman stepped closer, too embarrassed and intimidated to make direct eye contact. "Hey, Ro. Yeah, I figured as much."
"You know why I'm here."
Roman's tone told Seth he shouldn't push the bigger man given his current mood combined with the reason for having to pay Seth this visit in the first place, but he couldn't resist. "Because of my swearing?" Seth glanced at Roman, giving him half a smirk, hoping perhaps the boss man would take it a little easier on him if he started with a self deprecating joke to break the ice. Seth's joke sank like a ton of bricks, Roman's eyes narrowing as they shot daggers straight through Seth.
"Don't be cute, Seth. You know that isn't why. We're here to talk about your behavior and actions concerning Dean." Roman flashed Seth a grim look, the muscles in his jaw clenching as he said Dean's name. "You're way outta line and you know it."
"I know, Ro. I know. I can't help it." Seth turned away and toed the ground to distract himself, unprepared for what Roman was sure to tell him next.
"You can help it. That's why I'm here. To remind you what your job is. Apparently you've forgotten…" Seth frowned at Roman's last statement, his shoulders hunched and tense as he waited for Roman to scold him further. "Not even going to deny it, are you? What you've been doing is wrong, Seth. If you don't start conducting yourself in a proper manner there will be consequences." Seth turned and looked Roman in the eye at the mention of the word 'consequences', positive that whatever the consequences Roman spoke of were, surely they were grave. "You're meddling in Dean's affairs too much. There are lines you don't cross, Seth. All this was explained to you very early on and laid out in extremely strict guidelines, don't you remember?" Roman raised a single eyebrow at Seth, the look in his eyes telling Seth he shouldn't need to be reminded of such things.
"Yeah, yeah, I remember. Thou shalt not fuck around and stick your nose where it doesn't belong. Amen." Seth mumbled, half glancing at Roman. "RO! Shit...what the..." Seth stuttered as Roman lunged forward, wings at full span as his large hands closed in on Seth's neck. Seth found himself in Roman's clutches, both feet inches off the ground as the bigger, more powerful angel hoisted him up by the front of his shirt.
"This isn't funny. It's not time for fun and games and certainly not time for your potty mouth, understand?" Seth slowly nodded, hardly able to squeak out a 'yes' as Roman's grip tightened. "We're talking about serious business here, Seth. You can either straighten up and listen to what I have to say or I can pluck every feather out of those skinny little appendages you call wings, what's it gonna be?" Behind Roman's light grey eyes Seth saw unbridled anger. He hadn't meant to irritate his boss so, it was just that Seth didn't want to hear his Roman tell him something he already knew.
"Okay! Sorry, Ro. I'll shut my mouth and listen. Can you put me down?" Roman smirked as he shoved Seth down to the ground, Seth collapsing down to his knees once Roman let go. Seth brushed himself off and rose back to his feet, following Roman as he walked and talked.
"The big man sent me. It's never good when that happens, Seth. You know that. You've displeased him. You're Dean's guardian angel, there to protect him and guide him during times of trouble, not save his ass every time he decides to make what you think is a bad decision. Do you understand the difference?" Roman glanced down at Seth as he asked this question, waiting for a response.
"Yeah, I guess. It's just that..."
"No. There's no 'just that'. Here, let me show you. Maybe a visual will make you understand." Roman reached over Seth's shoulder and came back with a freshly plucked short black and blond feather, straight from Seth's wing. "See this feather?" Roman held it high, the quill of the feather pinched between his thumb and forefinger. Seth nodded, observing silently, his eyes following it as Roman suddenly let it go. He watched skeptically as it fell in slow motion, gently approaching the ground. "This feather is Dean. He's gonna fall eventually, Seth." Roman never broke eye contact with Seth as he squatted down and blew on the feather, his breath hitting it from underneath and sending it coasting higher and closer to Seth. "You can alter his path slightly but you can't change his fate." Despite Roman's momentary interruption the feather drifted to the ground and landed softly against the floor of the heavens. Seth sighed and nodded at Roman, the point of his demonstration crystal clear. "Your duty is to guide him, you can help him see that there's an alternative and nudge him in the right direction but what you can't do is literally everything you've been doing lately. I don't even know where to start, Seth." Roman pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a heavy sigh, stopping to grab Seth's shoulder with his free hand and turn him so they were face to face. "You're altering his path too much, Seth. It's no longer his will that drives him to make a decision, it's yours. That's wrong. That isn't what you're sent to do."
"I know, Roman. Don't you think I know I've been wrong? I can't help myself. I just...I..."
Roman's tone turned gradually more solemn the more he spoke on the subject, causing Seth to become more frightened as to just what Roman meant. "You've got to, Seth. If you don't there will be trouble ahead for both you and Dean. I know you probably think you're protecting him but in the long run you'll do him more harm than good if you keep meddling the way you have been."
"What do you mean?" Seth's eyes shot to Roman's, mortified of exactly what he could be referring to.
"I can't elaborate. Just know that there are consequences for your actions, always remember that. You can't make decisions for him, Seth. Not hours ago you knocked pills straight from his hand. That's going too far. If he chooses to continue even after you've planted a seed of doubt in his head then you must let him." Roman squeezed at Seth's arm as he issued a stern warning. "You're playing God and you're not God, Seth."
Seth instantly tensed up, a lump in his throat as he jerked and pulled away from Roman's grip. "So, what? I'm just supposed to let him kill himself? I thought I was meant to keep him alive, isn't that part of my job? I'm supposed to...to just let him die?" Tears fell down Seth's face as he stammered out those last few words, the thought of watching Dean perish causing him to choke up.
"You're not the master of his destiny, Seth. The sooner you accept that the better. You aren't there to alter his fate, that crosses a line. Be his guide." To Seth's surprise Roman paused and reached out with his wing to wipe Seth's tears away, Seth feeling rather pitiful and small that he needed Roman to do such a thing for him. "You love him." Roman spoke after several quiet moments, shaking his head as he stated the obvious. "You know that's against the rules too, Seth. You're really in over your head, aren't you?"
Seth didn't have an answer for Roman. Instead he stood still, quiet as could be as he stared off into the distance, refusing to validate Roman's accusation even though they both knew it to be true. Seth didn't need his big, intimidating, hulk of a boss to tell him he was in the wrong. He already knew. The problem was Seth didn't know how to turn things around now that they'd gone this far and was even less aware of exactly how he could turn off his feelings for Dean, if at all. Seth quietly wondered if any other guardian angel had ever fallen in love with the one they were ordered to watch over. He convinced himself he couldn't have been the first or only one.
"Get your head on straight, Seth. You're an angel. If you play your cards right and stick to the book you can move up, but you've got to do better than you're doing now. You certainly can't get anyplace lusting after Dean the way you've been lately. It's sick, Seth."
"Sick? Why? What's so wrong with it?" Seth jumped to defense, raising his voice at Roman, offended that his boss would use such a word to describe how he felt for Dean.
"It's wrong because it's impossible, Seth. He can't see you for more than brief moments. He can't touch you. It's not plausible, what you're thinking and feeling. You gotta let it go." Roman chided him, shaking his head at the thought of Seth in love with Dean.
"What if I can't?" Seth asked the question softly, fully aware that he wouldn't like Roman's answer.
"Then you'll be punished. Keep lusting after Dean and continue breaking rules to save his ass all the time and you'll receive swift and harsh results, and Dean will as well. You'll be banished, damned, tortured, and relegated to living out the rest of eternity in hell, if that's God's will. I can't say what could happen to Dean, but you can imagine..."
"Yeah." Seth swallowed hard, a sharp pang of guilt surging through his stomach as he pictured Dean subjected to what Roman had just described.
Roman took Seth's chin in his large palm, pulling Seth's head up so they were eye to eye as he continued speaking. "You're gonna go back down there next time you visit Dean and you're going to play by the rules, understand? Do your job and there won't be any difficulties. Stick to the guidelines. Don't make me come talk to you about this again, Seth. Unless you want me to transfer you and appoint Dean a new guardian angel, of course. Man, that would make a third for him if I end up having to replace you..."
"No. No, Roman. You don't have to do that." Seth swallowed hard and blinked rapidly, trying desperately to compose himself and quickly. "No, that won't be necessary. I can do this, Ro." Seth clasped both hands together in front of his body as he swore up and down he'd do as Roman told him, trying his best to be as sincere as possible.
"Let me give you one last piece of advice, Seth. If you truly care about Dean you'll let him choose his own path. No more making choices for him. No more saving him at the first hint of danger. And no more revealing yourself to him when it isn't absolutely necessary, got it?"
Seth took a deep breath and gulped, the severity of Roman's warnings striking great fear into him. Roman's words hit home with Seth, the idea that because of his actions and inability to control his emotions he'd put both Dean and himself in danger of being punished shook Seth to his very core. Thinking of what could potentially happen to Dean in all this made his palms sweat and his mouth go dry, a deep sadness churning in the pit of stomach as he realized he might lose Dean and the blame would be on his shoulders. "Got it." Seth answered finally, staring Roman dead in the eye as he nodded.
"Don't disappoint me." Roman called out as he began to fly off. "And don't let down the big man. That would be a huge mistake. Remember your place, Seth."