CHAPTER 2

BELLA POV

I didn't know what was happening. I cut myself on his gift and then he was… there. Looking at me as though I was his prey. The lion fell in love with the lamb. I hadn't seen that look on his face since the first day in Biology, and… I was really
/scared.

But this was Edward! He wouldn't have actually done anything… would he? I held my finger as tight as I could to my chest and worked on not hyperventilating.

After I managed to calm down, all I could think of was, what now? What would happen to us now? There was no way Edward was going to forget this…

I barely heard Charlie calling out mine and Edward's name until he was right outside my door and knocking on it. "Hey, Bella, Edward are you in there? I thought I said to keep the door open when you are?"

"Um... ah, E-Edward's not in here," I stuttered, slowly standing up and opening the door. "We, um, got into a fight and he went for a walk."

Charlie looked a bit angry at that, "Seriously? He's fighting with you on your birthday?"

Quickly I came up with a lie, "That's what the fight was about, how I don't want to do anything for it and he's insisting. I'm sure he'll be back soon once he's cooled off."

Charlie reached out and patted me on the shoulder awkwardly. Neither of us were very good at dealing with situations like this, but I appreciated the effort nonetheless. "Edward had ordered a pizza for us," I continued.

"He was standing outside when I came in, I paid for it. It's in the kitchen." We both went downstairs and sat at the table, slowly eating the food. After two hours, I still hadn't seen or heard anything from Edward and it started to put me on edge. "He'sbeen
gone for quite a while," Charlie pointed out.

I got up to go look outside to see if his car was still there, and it was. As I looked outside I could also see Edward emerging from the woods, his hair was all wild but he was in a new outfit that was clean. The closer he got, the more I could see his
/face and he looked… well, dead. There was no life in his eyes.

Quickly I got to the door and opened it up. He didn't look past his shoes when he got to me, "Edward?"

His mouth moved as if he wanted to say something but had no idea what to say, I closed the door behind me so we were standing outside, out of hearing range from Charlie. I reached my hand out and touched his face and he flinched.

"It's okay. It's okay," I reached and wrapped my arms around his neck. Maybe I did have a death wish, after all, Edward had been maybe only seconds awayfrom drinking my blood and I was not afraid of him, and I knew he was beating himself up inside.

He didn't reach out for me, just keeping his arms at his side and I could tell he wasn't breathing, feeling more like a statue then he ever has. "I'm not bleeding anymore, it's fi–"

"Don't, Bella. Just…" he trailed off before relaxing a bit. "Just don't."

I let go of him and stared at his face. It was in so much pain and his eyes were more golden then before. I guess he went hunting.

"Come inside?" He nodded. "I told Charlie we got into a fight about me not wanting to celebrate my birthday."

Edward sighed, "You have been fighting me on that all day. Maybe I should have listened."

He opened the door behind me and gestured me through. Charlie looked up as we stepped into the living room where he migrated to watch a game. He gaveEdward an odd look, and nodded.

"Hello, Charlie. I'm sorry about that."

"No worries, there is still some pizza left if you want any."

"Thank you," and we made our way to the kitchen. Edward grabbed a slice of pizza and put it on a plate, offering it to me and I began nibbling on it. "Did you open your present?"

I shook my head. He kissed the top of my forehead and left, I assumed, to go get it from my room.

I hope things will go back to normal soon. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells with him right now. What would the next disaster be? My list of near death experiences since moving to Forks is already quite long. Do I have to add what happened only a fewhours
ago to the list? Maybe not on mine, but it would most definitely go onto Edward's. His guilty conscience has always been an overload, even if it's just me tripping while we are on the way to the meadow.

This was not going to go over well with him, and I don't want to think about where this could end up.

Edward took his time, probably for Charlie's oblivious sake, and came down holding the square present he got for me. Once he sat down he began peeling at the paper.

Maybe I'm just going to get babied a bit more from now on. That I could live with.

Once the wrapping paper was off he offered it to me. It was a CD. "It's me playing the piano. I recorded it at the school, thought that you'd appreciate that more than me buying you a gift."

Tears welled in my eyes, "No, Edward. This is perfect."

He kissed the top of my head, "Your lullaby is the first song."

I smiled. As far as birthday gifts go, this one was a pretty good one. I looked up at him and kissed him lightly on the lips. "Thank you."

His face, which had turned a bit soft, had hardened once again. "I should get going."

Edward stood up, and I did as well. I quickly grabbed his hand, "Will you stay tonight?" He hesitated, looking very uncertain about the idea. "For my birthday?"

"Really? All day you've told me to ignore your birthday and now you have a request for it?"

"Yup!" I said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

He kissed my forehead again. "Whatever you want. See you when Charlie's snoring."

Edward left the kitchen, giving my father a gentlemanly goodbye. Charlie looked towards me with a raised eyebrow. "Is everything okay, kid?"

I nodded. "Yeah, things will be. I think, he's just feeling bad about our fight earlier. He'll get over it. I'm going to head to bed."

"It's only 8, Bella."

"I'll probably read for a bit, first. I don't tend to fall asleep the moment I get to my room, dad." I rolled my eyes.

He waved his hand. "Okay, fine, fine. Oh, and Bella," I stopped in my tracks as I was heading up the stairs. "Happy birthday."

I blushed, "Thanks."

When I got to my room, Edward wasn't there, so I quickly got changed and laid down on my bed, turning over and putting my new CD into the CD player. My lullaby filled the room with the most pleasant and beautiful sound I have ever heard. I remember whenEdward
first played this for me.

We were in the school and he led me to the music room where a grand piano laid in the back corner. He sat me down next to him on the bench, and his fingers moved with so much grace. My lullaby filled the air and I leaned into his shoulder. "Did you writethis?"

"I did," he replied.

"How long have you played for?" I asked as the song ended.

His fingers lingered on the keys, "I started playing when I was 5. My mother also played the piano so we shared this." He then looked at me and smiled. "One of Carlisle's first gifts to me after I was turned was a grand piano. Esme loved to hear me play,and
I had written a song that later got titled Esme's favourite."

"Have you… never mind," I had leaned away from him, not wanting to be to pushy.

He had grabbed my chin and looked me in the eyes. "What?"

"Have you ever thought about contacting them? Finding them and letting them know you're alright?"

That was the first time I had ever talked with him about his vampire family. It wasn't the last either. We never got into a fight about it, but I knew sometimes that it was a difficult conversation for him. Edward always had a guilty conscience to things,and
I assume the situation with them was one of the first as a vampire.

The next song that played on the CD was Esme's favourite. I always loved listening to this because it makes me think of an Edward that wasn't asalone as he is now.

Right now, he's probably in that cabin in the woods, sitting on the couch and trying not to overthink, or rather completely overthinking everything.

It didn't take me long before I fell asleep, all alone. My bed felt too warm without Edward, as it did every time he wasn't with me. I woke up in the middle of the night, and felt Edward's cool body pressed beside mine, his arm wrapped around my shoulderas
my hands stayed on his chest.

"Hey," I mumbled.

"Hey," he rubbed my shoulder. "You should go back to bed."

"I'm not tired," I leaned up and looked at him. His eyes were still ones of pain. "How are you?"

He scuffed, "How am I? Really? I should be asking you that."

"Why?"

"Why? Seriously? Bella, I almost…" he trailed off, his eyes closed in frustration. "I almost killed you. I had no control when you cut your finger, I was going in for the kill, Bella."

Blunt honesty. He was very good at that. "Yeah, and you are taking it a lot harder than I am, so that's why I'm asking you."

"You're not scared of me? You don't think this relationship is a bad idea because of how much a danger I am to you?"He spoke a bit too loudly, we waited a bit to make sure Charlie was still sleeping before continuing.

I leaned into his chest and his arms wrapped around me. "You've told me since the beginning this was dangerous, and I've accepted the risk, because I love you. I just got to be more careful and if anything, what happened today proves that."

"It's not your fault, Bella. It's mine. I never should have pursued this."

I leaned back and grabbed his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. "Don't. Don't you ever say that. Edward, these past few months have been… the best of my life and I wouldn't change it for anything. Please, don't regret it."

His eyes softened up and he moved my hands to intertwine with his. "I don't regret our time. Just the danger, and sadly us spending time together is a danger to you."

That scared me, "What… what are you saying?"

"I don't know yet," he closed his eyes. "I don't know what the right thing to do isanymore."

Neither of us said anything after that. All this uncertainty in the air was killing me, but I knew if I pushed it, it might not turn out very well.

"You should get back to sleep," he suggested, moving me to lay on the pillow beside him. "I'll be here when you wake up. I promise."

That wasn't much reassurance to me, but my eyes were heavy and it didn't take long before I went back to sleep to the sound of him humming my lullaby.

The next day had gone by rather strangely. Edward left as soon as I woke up, giving me a quick kiss then picked me up for school. All day Edward never said a word, he would hold my hand but not rub his thumb on the back of it like henormally does.
Inclass, whenever I tried to steal a glance at him,he never returned it, which he normally does. And whenever I tried to make even a bit of conversation (even going as desperate as to talk about the weather), he would just smile and shake
his head.

I didn't like today. I didn't like it one bit.

After school, Edward pulled up at my house and closed his eyes. "Want to go for a walk?"

I blinked, "Oh, yeah! Sure."

He got out and at vampire speed came to open my door. "Show off," I said, trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

We walked towards the wood down a hiking path there, him leading the way. Still in sight of the house he stopped, but didn't turn around to face me. I put my hands in the pockets of my jacket and just waited for him to say something.

His next words did not surprise me.

"I need to leave."

Even though I knew this was coming, it still causes my body to react surprised. "For how long?"

"Forever."

I shook my head. "Then let me come with you," I begged.

"Bella…"

"Don't. Don't do this. Not because of yesterday."

Edward finally turned towards me, "It's not just about yesterday, Bella. It's about everything since we first met. The first day in class and that first day in the meadow... I almost lost it as well. James and nowyesterday…" He ran a hand through
his hair. "I'velet this go on for too long because… I feel alone. And that's not fair to you."

That statement took me by surprise. "What are you saying? Are you saying you don't… you don't… love me?" It hurt more than I thought it would to say those words in that sequence out loud.

His eyes never met mine, instead they were deep in the forest. "No. No I don't. I mean, I did. It hasn't always been a lie. Recently though… I think I'm here more because I don't want to be alone anymore."

My knees felt like they were about to buckle beneath me. "That changes things."

"I'll always love you, in a way. But after what happened yesterday, itmade me realize I can't keep pretending to be what I'm not, Bella. I'm not human," I wonder if he could see how I was falling apart right in front of him. Probably. "Can you just
promiseme something, Bella?"

"Anything."

"Don't do anything stupid. For Charlie," he quickly put in, almost like it was an afterthought. "It would kill him if something happened to you. Anyway, I guess that's it."

I reached out for him, "Please… please don't do this."

He grabbed my hand and placed them at my sides before kissing me on the top of my head. "Take care of yourself."

And he was gone.

I don't know how long I stood there for, unable to move my feet until my knees finally gave away and I was on the floor.

Eventually Charlie found me and brought me inside, one of the doctors at the hospital came to look at me, I think. I wasn't sure… everything around me was such a blur and I couldn't make sense of it all. All I could think of was he was gone.

And I did not resurface.

EDWARD POV

I ran. I ran and ran as far away from Forks as I could, but it seemed no matter how far away I went, itwas never far enough. I could still hear her heartbeat, smell her scent, feel her lips pressed against mine, and it almost seemed thefurther
I went awayfrom her, the more I could hear, smell and feel her.

It wasn't logical. Every fibre of my being told me to go back, beg Bella to forgive me and take me back.

But if I did that, it would be the death of her. But what pained me more wasn't me leaving, it wasn't the fact I had almost killed my one true love just yesterday, but how her first thought when I was leaving was that I didn't love her.

Did she think so little of our time together? Did she think it was so insignificant to me? No, no that wasn't it. She felt she was insignificant. And I played that, I played that so it would be easier for me to leave because I knew if she knew the
truth,that I loved her with every bit of me I have, she would not have let me go and she would have begged and pleaded until my will crumbled and I couldn't leave.

My one wish is that she will be safe, and she will be loved. She will find a human worthy of all she has to offer, she can get married and have children and be… Bella.

Me on the other hand… what was I going to do? I can't live my life, or whatever this is, without her. But I could still be here in this world if she was.

I have no idea where I am, I think somewhere in Canada. But things up here remind me of Forks too much. I keep going. Running faster and faster.

Maybe this is how I will spend the next eighty or so years. Running. And when she dies, I will too.