You readers that have so kindly put this fic on your story alert must be thinking "WTF Nadalada! Why is this chapter so late?" Well…the only thing I can say is if any of you had read my profile where I keep the story status', then you would have known this story was on hold and it would be continued. So really, it's your own fault for being lazy;)
Oh and dear Anon reviewer, Why would I take down my story even if I wasn't finishing it? I spend hours writing this shit, so just scraping it would make my hard work a waste of time.
Disclaimer: Nadalada (Me) does not own Lord of the Rings or Naruto and that will never change…no matter how hard she wishes.
Saruman of Many Colour (nee The White) was not pleased. Since the betrayal and subsequent defeat of his once dear friend Gandalf he Grey, this mood was not uncommon. It had only been several months since his fellow wizard's escape, barely anytime for those as old as he, and he was still rather cross. But that was not what had him in such a foul mood today.
No, as he stalked through Fangorn forest dodging dropping branches and irate woodland animals, he would reflect that what really angered him was the utter idiocy of his subordinates. He knew orcs were simpleminded things but this put their stupidity to a whole new level.
You see, a great flash of light had been reported by said orcs to have appeared not far into the very forest that they were in the process of destroying. Instead of investigating the matter like good little minions, the orcs had invaded his bedchambers to tell him; claiming the oppressing feeling now coming from the woods prevented the orcs from entering. It was without question that those cowards would not live much longer.
Now that he made his way through Fangorn he too could feel great bloodlust emanating though he ancient trees. It was truly an unsettling feeling.
Not far from the white clad old man, two very dangerous men clashed in an epic battle of strength and wits. That or they were just once again squabbling rather unprofessionally; depends entirely on your point of view.
"Aww come on Kaku-chan! Pleeeaassssseeee sew my head back on! It was really an accident and I'm very sorry."
The masked nin stared dispassionately down at the severed, but still whiney, head of his partner. Turning away from his handiwork, Kakuzu surveyed the forest they were in, much to Hidan's displeasure ("Oi! You better not ignore me fucker!"). Unlike the forest they were previously hiding in, these trees were ancient and seemed to give off a menacing aura. Odd.
A rustle and the faint sound of footsteps put the ninja on guard immediately. Kakuzu narrowed his uniquely coloured eyes at the direction of the sound and wondered what kind of enemy he would encounter in this strange place. He gave a quick glance to his incapacitated partner and cursed under his breath. Not only would he have to face a mysterious enemy alone, but he would have to put up with Hidan's constant bitching about not being involved afterwards.
Had Kakuzu been a more light-hearted man he would of sweat dropped at the sight of the "mysterious enemy" that noisily appeared in front of the dangerous duo. The "enemy" was an ancient looking man with a ridiculously long white beard with a single black stripe down the middle. He was clothed in all white robes and carried a staff that, at the sight of the nin, he brandished threateningly at them as if the stick had any chance of hurting them.
"What the fuck! Is this old man senile? Kakuzu, what in Jashin's name is he going on about?"
Kakuzu sent an annoyed how should I know? look at his idiot partner before turning his attention to the old man who was indeed spouting gibberish while waving his staff in the direction of Hidan's severed, but still living, head. The elderly man's expression would have been amusing if Kakuzu's temper hadn't been flaring dangerously at that point.
"Shut up," commanded Kakuzu, his voice deadly.
Saruman might not have been able to understand the strange man's words but the meaning was clear; this insolent child was trying to command him, Saruman, the right hand man of the Dark Lord Sauron. This stranger would pay. Calming his earlier unease of seeing the other man's head speak, Saruman put on a pleasant smile and spoke in his silky voice, "Greetings strangers, may I inquired your business in the forest of Fangorn?"
At the two men's blank expressions, Saruman swore inwardly as he realized his own foolishness. Saruman's mask of calm did not falter in the slightest as he drew in his power, concentrating it into the spell he was about to attempt.
"Comprehend strangers, the tongues in which I speak (1)," said Saruman in the ancient language of the elves, Sindarin.
The force of the spell pushed back the masked stranger a few steps and Saruman, satisfied with the results glanced at the blonde head that had rolled a bit and was now face first in the grass rendering the head unable to speak. The wizard smirked at the stranger's situation before turning his attention to the other man, only to be faced with luminescent green and red eyes and the feeling of cold steel pressed to his neck.
"What did you do?" asked the man in a deep raspy voice, sending the unfamiliar feeling of fear tingling down Saruman's weathered spine.
Kakuzu gave a slight start at the strange words coming from his own mouth. Whatever the old man did, it had somehow granted himself, and he assumed Hidan, the ability to speak and probably understand his unfamiliar language.
The missing-nin savoured to feeling of fear coming from the man who had been arrogant enough to cast a strange jutsu on members of the Akatsuki. Pressing the kunai to the man's wrinkled neck hard enough to draw blood, Kakuzu repeated his question.
"I simply cast a spell in order for you and your companion to understand my tongue; it is completely harmless of course," answered the old man in a smooth voice that reminded Kakuzu strongly of Orochimaru when he wanted something.
"You will tell us where we are old man," stated Kakuzu with narrowed eyes.
A furious expression flashed across the man's face before being masked behind a false mask of indifference.
"I am Saruman of Many Colours," informed the man, despite not being asked, "You are in Fangorn forest just on the doorstep of my fortress Isengard."
"This tells me nothing Saruman," replied Kakuzu, deliberately leaving off the man's ridiculous title.
Saruman, feeling barely masked killing intent, paled slightly but his pride would not let him back down. Instead, he stiffened and replied haughtily, "Since you are so incompetent that you do not know of the world beyond whatever filthy village you hail from, I will grant you the knowledge that you are in Middle-Earth."
The last part was said as condescendingly as Saruman dared but the words Middle Earth seemed to hold some significance to the stranger.
Kakuzu looked at Saruman calculatingly before releasing his hold on him, deeming him not a real threat, causing the elderly man to stumble back a few steps.
"I am Kakuzu, S-Rank missing-nin of Takigakure and member of the Akatsuki," Kakuzu gestured to Hidan who was still face down in the grass unable to yell obscenities at his partner, "and that is Hidan, S-Rank missing-nin of Yugakure and my partner in the Akatsuki."
Kakuzu was suspicious of the lack of recognition in Saruman's eyes at his words. He had deliberately let as much information as possible out in their introduction to see if the man had any idea about his world. It was obvious that this Middle-Earth was a completely different world judging by Saruman's ignorance. Even the most secluded villages in the Elemental Continents knew what a missing-nin was and while letting the name Akatsuki slip had been a long shot, Saruman should have still recognized a ninja when he saw one.
"I am afraid I have never come across such titles and places. Your names too are very strange to me," replied Saruman, "Perhaps you will explain to me what a missing-nin is?"
Kakuzu was very tempted at this point just to kill the crotchety old man but he knew it was necessary to gather as much information as he could from the resident of this Middle-Earth, even if it meant he had to indulge Saruman's pointless questioning.
"A missing-nin is a warrior of sorts that has forsaken his home village, becoming a criminal," explained the masked shinobi, trying to use terms Saruman would understand.
"A criminal? I can feel that you and your partner are both very powerful and I am in need of some assistance. Perhaps in exchange for information on these lands and a place to stay, you both will assist me," said Saruman, the power of his persuasive voice working unknowingly on both Akatsuki members.
Kakuzu glanced to his partners head as he made his decision. They were both in unknown enemy territory and Saruman's offer was not an unfair one. After all, shinobi were tools to be used, well, for the right price of course.
"We will agree on the condition that we are both paid handsomely for whatever assistance you require," answered Kakuzu, ignoring Hidan's muffled protests.
Saruman seemed to consider this for a moment before smirking and saying, "I agree to your terms. Let us go to Isengard and I will explain more of this world and the task I need you to complete."
With that, Saruman swept off into the forest surprisingly fast for such an ancient looking man. Kakuzu ignored his new employer's dramatics and went over to the forgotten Hidan. He grabbed a chunk of light blond hair and lifted his partner's head not too gently.
"You cocksucking motherfucker! Jashin will smite your greedy ass for your fucking sins! You better reattach my head fucking now or ill-"
It would never be known what Hidan would do because Kakuzu , already at his wits end, sewed his immortal partner's mouth shut before going to crouch down by Hidan's immobile body. With practiced ease, Kakuzu reattached the Jashinist's head with his threads before going to stand out of reach of the soon to be fully functional body.
Before long, Hidan, as predicted, came up swinging, probably intending to slice his partner with his precious scythe. He, of course, missed and became off balanced for a second, letting Kakuzu shoot forward to rip the fresh stiches from Hidan's mouth, knowing if he didn't remove them, Hidan would never shut up when he got them removed on his own.
The fresh blood dripping from his lips didn't deter Hidan from opening his mouth wide to start yelling at his merciless partner. Unfortunately for Hidan, Kakuzu did not give him the opportunity as he had already disappeared into the forest, following Saruman to Isengard.
"Hey fucker! Wait for me!"
Once again, my apologies for the crappyness of the spell. It's just something I made up on the spot 'cause I really couldn't think of anything better.
TGIF! Thank god it's finished! This wasn't really an exciting chapter but it's necessary in the long run. Don't fret! Next chapter will hopefully contain some ninja kicking ass;) I do regret to inform you guys that an update probably won't be terribly soon since school had now started AND I do have another story on the go. PLEASE REVIEW! You guys have no idea how much inspiration I get from your reviews! That last review I got was the reason I kicked my ass into gear to get this chapter out in the first place!