Lord of The Onion Rings

by ROBLOXCATSTORM

this is not like that other one. this is a real plot. REAL PLOT. i made it up all by myself and my brother when we turned off the volume on the tv and talked while the movie was playing. i like the books better and i only saw part of the movie so it is more like the books i like them better. except i dont know what the ending is because i didnt finish the last one ok

2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER DOO

frodo was sad that his uncle was dead but he always kind of hated him for being able to go on an adventure with cool dwarves so he was a little morbidly pleased. he put the fried ring on his finger. it burned a little because it was so hot. but then there was a resounding knock on bilbo's former door.

it was GANDALF and he was a wizard man. impossibly tall. impossibly old. also impossibly... forget it i'll tell you later. anyway he came in with a hearty smile and was going to congratulate old/young bilbo for his 110th birthday or whatever when he noticed the pile of bilbo-like dust. he could tell it was bilbo because it had the faint aura of any who wore the ring and gandalfs wizardy insight knew only frodo had it. this explanation was unneccessary.

"hey dude is that bilbo?" he asked

"yeah"

"bummer"

so gandalf took the ashes and threw them into the fire like any sane wizard. then he noticed the onion ring upon the finger of frodo.

"hey frodo i know where your uncle got that. want me to tell you a radical story about its secret origin"

"but then it won't be a secret :("

"i don't care, this is important," he said. "once upon a time there was a very very very very very very very fat elf."

"was he as fat as-" but frodo was cut off again by gandalf!

"anyway, he was tired of eating regular fast food. so he called upon a minor chef. his name, dude, i can't say it now but he was pretty cool back then. so this guy made the most delicious stuff, i even had some once. so he made for this elfy dude:

'one burger to fill them,
one smoothie to buy them,
one onion to keep them in oil and fry them'

and the elf took one sip of the smoothie and passed out from the sheer amount of sugar. the other foods were scattered across the globe. bilbo (that poor young but old guy) stole this onion ring from this crotchety old fella named gollum and then he gave it to you."

"so what does it do other than making me young?" asked frodo.

"it can make you..." and then gandalf fell asleep because the sheer girth of the situation was overwhelming and there aren't any fans in the shire even on hot days.

END OF CHAPTER DOO