I climb back into the little Volvo and pull it away from the curb. Gun it like there's no tomorrow. The car's got pickup, that's for sure.
A road sign lets me know there's a small town up ahead. Forks: Pop. 3,545, it says.
Why does that sound familiar?
A blinking neon sign tells me there's a late-night diner up ahead. The i and the n are out, though, so it's flashing "D er."
I'm so hungry I can't think straight, so I pull in. I try to forget my encounter with the big dude, but it's weighing on me. He acted like he knew me. Called me Edward. Fucking strange. But somehow also familiar.
"Can I help ya, honey?" the counter girl says when I walk in.
"Just a table for one, thanks."
She gives me a look, quirks one eyebrow up. "Ooooo kaayy," she says.
What is it with these people?
"Do you have those little chicken nuggets that are shaped like dinosaurs?" I ask. They're totally my favorite food, so it can't hurt to ask.
"Uh, no. We got regular chicken fingers. You want those with some fries?"
"Sure. And how about some fresh-squeezed lemonade?"
"I'm sorry, sugar. There are no lemons in this story, er, I mean diner."
She runs off, back into the kitchen, I guess, when I hear whispering coming from a couple tables over.
"That's him. I'm sure it's him."
It's a table full of teenage girls. They all look away when I glance over and smile.
"It's OK," I whisper back. "I'm used to it. Do you ladies want an autograph or something?"
They giggle as one.
"No," says a girl with blond curls. She's smacking her gum. "We've just heard the rumor is all. None of us actually believed it. Not until we saw you walk in here."
Her friend whispers something in her ear and the blonde rolls her eyes.
"Gawd, I hate it when my mom is right," she says. Then she's up, tossing bills on the table. "Let's get out of here, guys. We have to tell Ashley. She won't even believe it."
With that, the entire group exits the diner. I see the waitress setting my food on my table. She gives me that look again.
"What is it with this place?" I ask her.
Before she has a chance to respond, a guy and a girl get up from their table. They look nervous.
"All right, everybody be cool. This is a robbery," the guy says.
"Any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!" the girl says, waving a gun around.
The dude starts moving around the room, taking customers' wallets and shoving them into a big garbage bag. When he gets to my table, I put my wallet in, but suddenly, something overtakes me. I whip out a gun I didn't even know I had. I start talking some
Bible shit, then point the gun square at his head.
"I want you to go in that bag, and find my wallet," I say calmly.
He's scared shitless, all sweaty and nervous. "Which one is it?"
"It's the one that says Bad Motherfucker."
He gives me the wallet back.
-30-