Brian

The Doctor pulled nervously at his bowtie as he stood mentally debating with himself, whether to knock at the front door before him. A few beads of sweat lined his forehead, not due to the vast physical exercise he had just accomplished walking to where he needed to go, but rather because he wasn't sure he was going to like the exchange that was bound to occur, if he was to go through with this.

However before he was given the chance to decide, the door opened slowly and the small figure that was Brian Williams peered out at him.

''Finally decided to show your face then'' Brian said calmly looking up at the Doctor with pained eyes, the loss he had dealt with all too apparent to see in those lost orbs. The Doctor wondered if that was what people saw when they looked at him, before dismissing the thought as Brian opened the door wider and went back inside the house. Without hesitation the Doctor followed following Brian into the living room , but not before he noticed how everything was so...clean…clearly where the Doctor had failed to be bothered to do anything, Brian had managed to keep his mind occupied so that he didn't live in the fact his only child was dead.

The Doctor winced as Brian's calm manner and behaviour made him feel even more guilty, there he was locking himself away and yet here was Brian living on as normal as he could, it send his stomach into knots and bile rising in his throat, how could he have been that selfish when others were hurting at the loss too.

''I'll brew us some tea shall I?'' Brian's quiet voice broke the Doctor out of his daydream as he nodded sitting down on the sofa, turning his attention to the muted TV that Brian had left on, as Brian busied away in the kitchen. Love Your Garden. He smiled wryly, clearly some things never changed, and in a way, that was good.

His eyes flickered over to the photo frames that rested on the mantel piece, and once again his heart panged with sadness, the last photo that was ever taken of him, Brian and the Ponds, only a week before the car crash. He stood up picking it up to study, as another tear threatened to spill down his cheek, he hadn't managed to print another copy of that one and it was weird to think that a week later so much had changed.

''That's a good one of us all, I'm glad that we managed one last group photo' Brian's voice broke out behind him, gentle and kind as he lowered the tea tray onto the coffee table.

'188 days…doesn't time fly when your alone with your thoughts' He sighed sitting down on the arm chair opposite where the Doctor had said, repeating a quote he had said what seemed long ago, when he had spent two weeks watching his plants grow and bloom inside his shed. The Doctor smiled lightly nodding though he knew that Brian would have felt each and every one of those days just as much as he had.

''Brian…I'm sorry, I'm sorry I haven't been…'' The Doctor started to say, his voice low and childlike as he kept his gaze down unable to look at his dead friends father.

Brian shook his head and reached forward to touch the Doctor's hand squeezing it reassuringly as he smiled lightly, though the smile never quite reached his eyes.

''They were your best friends Doctor, I would have been offended if you did anything less than grieve as I have done, everyone needs their own space to deal with a loss, I know how much they meant to you, and as long as you're here now, that's all that matters'' He smiled sincerely this time as he moved back to take his tea and saucer.

The Doctor did likewise and smiled lightly, he always liked Brian, purely because he was one of these adults that never lost his temper and always kept his calm, and even when he was anxious or afraid, he never showed it and always saw the best in others. ''Thanks Brian, it means a lot….It just hasn't felt right doing anything without them here…. For a while I didn't see the point anymore, but then if we're not here…whose going to keep the memory of them alive'' He studied the liquid inside the cup, noting his hands were shaking a little as he spoke.

''I couldn't have said it better myself, as long as their remembered then that's all we can hope for.' Brian paused for a moment studying his silent programme, before he asked

'Doctor…are you coping alright, you don't look like…well you. If your struggling or you need help…I am here you know'

The Doctor looked up to meet Brian's eyes both overwhelmed and puzzled at the same

time; he looked down at his hands frowning lightly. He thought he was back to his old self, physically he meant, he was still not 100% emotionally there but he was getting to it.

''Me…?...No…no I'm fine as can be expected, I mean I'm eating properly and going out again, I finish with my councillor next week, start a new job that Kate helped me find….do I look that bad?'' He looked back up to meet Brian's eyes again a slightly worried note in his voice.

Brian smiled sympathetically before shaking his head ''No...Not bad… just tired looking, a little thin perhaps, but River did tell me what had been going on…'

River...The name made the Doctors hands shake worse, causing him to spill most of his tea on his lap, he winced as the hot liquid soaked through his trousers, and stood upright brushing himself off, he felt his heart pang for the wife who had left him with no reason, the wife who turned out to have told Brian everything he was going through when she was supposed to have gone.

'She…she told you' His voice was low but held a slight anger note to it.

''She was worried, we all were'' Brian replied standing up and pulling a cloth from the back of a chair and handing it to him, which he took hurriedly.

''Is that before she decided to leave me then, or did she tell you that as well…WE…WHOSE WE...Oh ho...all them worried phone calls from Vastra, jenny, Donna , Craig…Kate...they were all laughing behind my back as they knew my wife was going to leave me, laugh at the Doctor throwing his life away ALMOST STARVE HIMSELF TO DEATH….' He heard himself shout the last bit, before he drained the last dregs of the cup and sat back down, pulling an apologetic face ''Sorry, I shouldn't have shouted…it's not your fault she went, I guess I shouldn't have taken it out on her either'' He kept his voice quiet as he looked back to Brian, who walked over and hugged him tightly.

'

'We didn't know until a couple of days later when she left Vastra a message, that's when we knew how much worse a state you would be in, we tried to go to your house, but you never answered, we care Doctor because you've done so much for everyone in the past, now it was our turn to care for you…and we failed, but in the end you sorted yourself out, and now we can make it up to you, by being there for you again. Only if you promise to let us…ok?' 'Brian said pulling away as he looked up to him with shining eyes, he no longer had a son to give advice to, but at the moment the Doctor was the closest thing he had.