Disclaimer: Don't own it.
A/N: Hello all you lovely people! Thanks very much for your reviews - much appreciated!
So here's the second chapter, and a long one i'm afraid, because there was a lot to write about - too much I think actually, but oh well.
Anyway, various things may be a tad confusing to some of you in this chapter, so here we go:
This writing - Present time
This writing - Hitomi's thoughts
This writing - memories
Just a small warning that there are some rather erm...coughs steamy parts in this chapter - although obviously nothing that would constitute a higher rating.
Enjoy!
Ok…so he wasn't joking.
Hitomi smiled unconvincingly as Van motioned for her to take a seat opposite him.
The restaurant was quiet, filled only with a few other late diners and their low, inaudible murmurs. Heads were close, fingers were entwined on tables, and eyes were shadowed in unreadable private emotion; the atmosphere was warm, almost too much so. Looking around as she removed her coat, Hitomi noted how the place itself was cosy and almost sensual in décor, with deep, rich coloured walls and gorgeously textured tablecloths, and ambient music that had a low, seductive beat.
"Nice place…" She said quietly, turning back to Van as he took his own chair, "Do you come here often?"
She could tell he did, even without his reply. It seemed that Van fitted this place strangely well actually, with his dark eyes and the passion she knew he concealed in their depths; she knew he loved to touch, to feel…and this place seemed somehow all to do with those, almost forbidden things.
"Not as often as I'd like." He removed his own jacket, looking over to her, and rolled up his shirt sleeves, "Now stop making small talk and tell me what's wrong with you."
Hitomi blinked.
That was quick.
"What?"
Van glanced at his watch briefly before looking back up at her widened eyes, "Oh come on, Hitomi, I can see straight through your unpractised fake smile."
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Hitomi picked up the wine menu and pretended to understand it.
Van raised his eyebrows.
"Well?" He pressed, coolly removing the card from her fingers and scanning it himself.
"Well what?" Hitomi snatched it back.
Van smiled playfully, "Don't snatch."
"Don't presume to tell me there's something wrong with me."
His smile fell.
Hitomi cursed inwardly as he frowned.
"So what, are you just planning to sit there all night and sulk?" He asked, displeased, calling over a waitress silently with a somewhat masterful flick of his hand.
"I'm not sulking!" Hitomi countered defensively, putting down the menu, "How am I sulking?"
"You've barely said a word to me all night - that's how."
Hitomi's brow creased.
"Well—"
"Monsieur Fanel?"
Van looked up at the young woman who'd walked over, completely ignoring Hitomi's indignation and flashing the waitress a devastatingly charming smile.
"A bottle of the Chateaux Margaux." He said, handing her the menu.
"Oui monsieur."
The waitress nodded before promptly leaving them, a light blush visible on her cheeks as she walked past.
Van leant back casually on his chair, a fairly satisfied smile lingering on his lips as he hooked an elbow over the backrest. He ran a hand through his hair as he turned to Hitomi again, "Sorry about that; what were you saying?"
Rolling her eyes, Hitomi shook her head helplessly, "Do you even realise the extent to which you flirt shamelessly with absolutely everyone?"
Van grinned in a somewhat roguish manner, looking up at her from beneath his dark lashes, "Does it bother you?"
The familiar words struck her unexpectedly.
Her mind reeled in recognition.
"What do you mean, 'does it bother me'?"
Hitomi grabbed another glass of champagne from a passing waiter, spilling its contents slightly in her haste.
Van raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, sure, I'm technically twenty-nine today and I'm technically one year away from thirty, and technically that means I'm a scant ten years away from middle age, also meaning that I'm well on my way to half a century, which is, my dear Mr Fanel, indeed, half of a century, meaning there's only another half to go until I'm—"
Van pried the glass from her fingers.
"I think you've had enough." He said gently, putting the champagne flute on the piano Hitomi was currently leaning against, "And I take it from your rather succinct response to my question, that your age does, in fact, bother you."
Hitomi bit her lip, "Well yes, if we're speaking in literal terms."
"As opposed to…?"
"Non-literal ones."
"Of course."
She frowned at his amused expression.
"You do realise that no part of this horrific day is funny."
"Hitomi, this 'horrific day' is your birthday."
"Precisely. And I feel like a hag."
Van sighed in exasperation and shook his head, looking round.
Even though his sight was swimming a little, he could see that the enormous foyer was almost empty at this point, with only a handful of men and women present, most of whom seemed very close to passing out anyway. The party had been a success actually; very relaxed and ultimately classy up until about one o'clock in the morning, when the amount of champagne ingested had proved a little too much for some.
Van had rented out a large, picturesque country house for the weekend, solely in celebration of Hitomi's birthday and much to her displeasure, and they had invited every single one of their mutual acquaintances, amounting in total to about twenty people.
"What's wrong with me?"
Van turned at her question, his brow furrowing, "Please don't start that again."
Hitomi looked at the floor.
"I don't get it."
"Hitomi, there's noth—"
"Why am I so unattractive?"
Van sighed again and crossed his arms, leaning back on the piano with her.
"What happened?" He asked expectantly, sounding ever so slightly bored. Hitomi sniffed in a rather unladylike fashion, and regarded the wooden floorboards in silence for a few more seconds before answering quietly.
"Allen hasn't looked at me all evening."
"Allen is a bastard."
His reply came, perhaps, a little too quickly.
"He came over here to say happy birthday, but that was about five hours ago," She continued without invitation, "and he's been with Millerna ever since then, laughing and flirting and having a fantastic time with her."
"It's alright for some…" Van muttered under his breath.
Hitomi ignored him, "I just…"
She swallowed, her eyes glistening.
"I just don't know what she's got that I h-haven't."
And the drunken tears began.
Van frowned and looked over to the blonde pair in the corner of the hall, their eyes trained on one another, their bodies close. He expected to feel a stab of jealousy, perhaps a sting of regret, but found that he felt no such thing upon seeing the way her hand stroked his cheek, or the way she pretended to find whatever he'd just whispered in her ear amusing. Millerna had always treated men as targets, had thought of them as nothing but expense-paying rungs on a social ladder. During the brief period Van had dated her, she had talked about nothing but herself and what she'd wanted out of life, out of her job; out of him.
She had one layer, and it was transparent.
And he simply found he didn't envy Allen Schezar at all.
Which was a first.
"I mean," Hitomi wiped a reddened eye with the back of her hand as Van's gaze lingered on the couple, "after he joined your stupid firm, he always used to tell me how much he hated her! How furious he was that she'd been chosen as his secretary, how he could never see anything in her!"
Noting how close the pair in the corner were to…well, a public display of their fondness for one another, Van bit his lip as he turned to Hitomi, obviously realising that her witness to such an action would be fairly catastrophic, to say the least.
"All he sees in her is the R-rated cut of her dress," He said quickly, grabbing her hand, "Let's go to the bar."
Hitomi stayed put.
"Well then maybe I should just dress as a prosti—" She stopped abruptly.
Her eyes widened.
Van winced as he followed the line of her vision.
And indeed, just as he'd suspected, Millerna and Allen seemed unperturbed by the others in the room, and had set about claiming one another's mouths in a rather enthusiastic demonstration.
He turned his head back to Hitomi sharply as he heard a faint, "I…" escape her slightly parted lips. Her hand fell from his.
"Hitomi—"
"Excuse me."
She left him before he could stop her, walking briskly to the door a few metres away from where they stood.
"Hitomi, wait!" He called after her, looking hastily from the rather busy couple in the corner to her retreating form. He watched as she brought a hand up to still her quivering lips, pausing after she opened the door.
And without thinking, he followed her into the hallway.
"Hitomi—" He grabbed her arm as the door closed behind him. She wrenched it from his grip with a brusque, "Don't", and continued forward, the trail of her long green satin dress dragging on the carpet behind.
"Just go, Van, and enjoy the party." She said without looking round, "Go and find a pretty girl to kiss."
Van's eyes narrowed.
He stepped forward, taking her arm again and turning her to him. Her eyes met his in determined sorrow.
"Let go of—"
"What do I have to do to make you see that he doesn't deserve you?!" Van asked heatedly, pulling her closer.
Hitomi's brow creased, "Don't say things like that."
"Why not?!" He demanded angrily, "It's true!"
"Stop it!"
Van took hold of her shoulders, "Well what do you want then?!"
"I…"
"You what?!"
"It doesn't matter!"
"Tell me!"
She snapped.
"I want someone to kiss me like that!" She shouted without thinking, grasping the front of his shirt.
"Fine!" His hands slid down to her waist in an instant as he pulled her against him.
"Fine." She breathed.
And his lips met hers in a rush.
"Well?"
Hitomi blinked several times.
She shook her head slightly and looked over to him, still leaning back casually, still smiling at her, still blissfully unaware as to what it was she was thinking about. Again.
"I uh…what was the question?" She asked, dazed.
"We shouldn't be doing this." Van muttered against her lips, turning the light on, closing the door and pushing her up against it as he turned the key in the lock.
"You should have thought about that in the hallway."
She smiled at his low chuckle.
"I believe I asked if my 'shameless' flirting bothered you."
His lips felt amazing on her own; soft and giving. They were warm, like the rest of his body, and tortured her mouth with the deliberate slow and languorous tattoo of their movements. She tasted him, savoured him, took as much of him as he offered to her.
The kiss was fuelled with need and passion, and an unmistakable thirst for the other after so many years of mutual, unbearable desire. Her hands travelled to his waist, pulling him as closer. She moaned at the contact, relishing the way his body reacted to her own.
Whether or not this was a mistake, she didn't know.
To be honest, she didn't even care.
Hitomi swallowed.
Of course it bothers me.
"I…"
She gasped as he laid a kiss just beneath her ear, running his hands up her back slowly, reaching for the zipper of her dress.
"Hitomi…" He breathed against her skin, "This is…after this I don't think I can stop."
Smiling wickedly against his cheek, she trailed a hand down from behind his neck and undid the first button of his shirt.
"I don't want you to stop." She whispered, shivering as she heard the slide of the metallic fastening.
His lips met hers once more, "Thank God."
The room suddenly felt so hot that she found she couldn't breathe.
Van's expression shifted to one of concern.
"Are you ok?" He asked, leaning forward.
"N-No…" Hitomi said quietly, avoiding his eyes and putting a hand to her forehead, "No I don't think I am…"
She could see it.
It was all flashing in front of her eyes as clearly as it had been that same night. Her hands were on him, running over his body, through his thick, dark hair. She could hear his breath coming light and fast in her ear, hear the words he whispered brokenly into the night.
It was all coming back.
"Hitomi—"
She wrenched her hand away from his when he touched it, the contact burning her sensitive skin in recognition.
"Van…"
"What's wrong?"
"Please…"
She shuddered.
"I-I think maybe this was a mistake," She whispered, not daring to look at him as she pushed back her chair.
"What are you—"
"In fact, you know what, I think I'm going to head off," She stood up, "I'm tired and—"
A hand grabbed her arm as she turned.
Oh dear.
"You're going to sit down right now." He had risen aswell, and his voice was deadly serious as he held her gaze intently.
Hitomi shut her eyes in displeasure.
"But you don't—"
"Sit. Down."
She looked at him then, and found his own eyes piercing her, their dark depths no longer filled with the laughter that had glistened in them before, but with a seriousness that, frankly, terrified her.
And then she remembered something else.
He hadn't looked at her like that since…
Since the morning after.
She swallowed and took her seat again, holding his gaze as he did the same. Van regarded her for another long moment, silently taking in her obvious anxiety.
"Tell me." He said simply.
"Tell you what?"
Van raised an unimpressed eyebrow.
"Judging by the display you just gave the whole restaurant, I'd guess something's up with your job…" His soft voice halted, "or a guy."
Hitomi opened her mouth in indignation, "That's—"
Completely true?
"Don't bullshit me, Hitomi." He interrupted, his tone laced with mild warning, "Don't try my patience; not today."
The light clinking of glasses echoed through the room, along with the deep, hypnotic beat of the music in the background. So much was going on around them, she could feel it in the air, and yet at the same time she felt nothing but embarrassment and foolishness; she heard nothing but the rapid beating of her own heart in her ears.
She looked down uncomfortably.
"Van, I…"
Just tell him about Dornkirk.
Come on.
That's not a lie.
"I got fired."
Van didn't show any reaction.
"What else?"
What else?!
Hitomi frowned, "What do you mean 'what else'?!" she asked a little incredulously, "It was my job! My—"
"It is a guy, isn't it." He stated passively, leaning an elbow on the table, "What's his name?"
Van.
"It's not a guy! I'm not that sh—"
"Did he break up with you?"
"It's not a guy!" She whispered viciously, leaning closer to him, "And will you please stop talking so loudly?!"
Van leant in, a corner of his lips twisting wickedly upwards.
"What's his name?" He asked again, his voice having dropped to a rather amusing stage whisper.
Hitomi refused to smile.
"Stop it."
"Was he rude to your mother?"
"Van…" She couldn't help laughing a little.
She hated how easily he could make her laugh.
"Was he disgusted at the amount of ice-cream in your freezer?" His eyes sparkled again, "Did you mention marriage to him? Did he leave the toilet seat up?"
"You're ridiculous—"
"He laughed at your troll collection, didn't he."
"I don't even have a troll collection!"
Neither of them noticed the waitress return, and the young woman had to cough before asking permission to pour the wine.
And as they waited in silence for her to finish, Hitomi suddenly realised how the tension had somehow magically disappeared from between them in mere seconds, and how, without a doubt, Van knew her better than anybody else ever could.
He knew about her ancient troll collection for God's sake.
And he'd even made her forget about what she'd been thinking befo—
Oh I did not just do that.
No.
"Tell me what you want..."
Nononononono!!!
Her ears burned with the heated memory of his voice.
"So are you going to tell me?"
Hitomi groaned inwardly.
"It's not a guy!" She replied quickly, leaning back and away from him as if he might singe her, away from his warmth and his scent and his—
Van seemed to notice her sudden discomfort, and his smile fell once more.
"Whatever." He leant back himself, pretending to be nonchalant even though it was obvious he was anything but satisfied. He reached for his glass.
"So you lost your job." He said quietly, regarding her over the top of it before he drank, "Is Dornkirk going bust?"
Hitomi picked up her own glass, considering the slight change of subject and eyeing the red liquid for a moment, "Does it matter?"
Van regarded her at length, "I suppose not." He conceded eventually, replacing the glass, "I just imagined you to be slightly more thankful, that's all."
Hitomi blinked.
"E-Excuse me?" She asked, not quite believing she'd heard him correctly, "Did you just say I should be more thankful for losing my job?"
"More thankful for Dornkirk giving you this chance, yes."
Hitomi blinked several times, "How on earth does that make any sense?"
To her exasperation, Van only smiled slightly before picking up his wineglass again, "Think about it."
She frowned.
"It simply eludes me how someone who appreciates their job as much as you do could say this to me."
Van put his lower lip to the rim of the glass, his eyes dark as they roamed her face, his mouth twisting in a familiar, roguish grin.
"Want to come and work for me?"
Hitomi's eyes widened.
What?!
"Wh—?!"
"Monsieur Fanel, would you like to order?" The waitress had returned, her impeccably bad timing surely a practised art.
Van didn't take his gaze from Hitomi, "No, thank you. We'll just take the check and go."
The woman nodded and scurried away.
"We'll just take the check and go?" Hitomi mimicked confusedly, momentarily forgetting the insane proposition mentioned several seconds previously, "Go where? We only just got here!"
Van glanced at his watch briefly, "I'm taking you home." He stated, getting up, "It's late and you have work tomorrow."
Hitomi stared at him incredulously.
"But— I'm not going to work for you!"
"Oh, I think you'll find you are," He took his jacket off the back of the chair, draping it over his forearm, "Where else are you going to find work after losing every one of your cases this year?"
Her mouth formed in indignant "O".
"Well certainly not from the establishment that ensured such apparent and overwhelming failure on my part!" Standing up quickly herself, she snatched her coat up and looked down at the floor in a hasty search for her bag, "And you—"
"You look beautiful tonight, did I tell you that?"
His voice, low and soft and suddenly aggravatingly seductive, made her look up.
And the familiar look in his eyes, the one she had spent all night trying to erase from her traitorous memory, made her forget what she'd been so angry about; it made her shiver.
And she hated how he knew that.
"N-No, you didn't."
He regarded her, his expression pensive and serious, for a long moment.
And then he ruined it by smiling in…well, an annoyingly playful fashion.
"Well now that I've told you, are you more likely to come and work for me?"
Hitomi scowled, picked up her bag from the floor and hit him with it over the table in a remarkably swift movement. She turned from him, rolling her eyes as she made her way to the door.
"No?" Came his amused voice from behind her.
"No," She said to herself, pushing open the door and relishing the gust of cold air that cooled her senses slightly, "I'm just more likely to fall in love with you again."
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They didn't talk at all on the drive back.
And there was no conversation as Van accompanied her in the elevator to her apartment, aside from Hitomi's proclamation that the action was completely unnecessary.
So when they stopped outside her door, Hitomi assumed there would be a brief and semi-awkward goodbye and that would be it.
Not the case.
Sighing, she attempted to initiate the proceedings.
"So—"
"You're not inviting me in?" Van asked expectantly, leaning his shoulder on the doorframe beside her and feigning disappointed surprise.
Hitomi frowned.
"Do you really think that's—"
"Polite? Why no, I don't." He cut in, smiling lop-sidedly at her, "Especially after I so graciously took you out for dinner."
Hitomi took the door key out of her purse, "If I remember correctly, you were too stingy to actually purchase any food."
"And you hold that against me?"
"Yes."
Van chuckled; a wonderful, warm sound.
"Fine," He said eventually, running a hand through his hair in a manner Hitomi had always found strangely attractive, "but I expect you to bring me a coffee tomorrow morning in apology when you come to my office at eight o'clock."
Turning to the door, Hitomi shook her head and rolled her eyes.
"I'm not working for F & F, Van. It goes against every one of my morals and makes me—"
"Rich? Popular? Eternally grateful because you get to see me every day?"
No, you misunderstand. That's the reason I DON'T want to work there.
"Van—"
"No, listen." He said, his voice turning slightly more serious, "I know you're a great lawyer, and that's how I know you can be so much more than you are now. Please, Hitomi."
Hitomi sighed and shook her head.
"But—"
"No 'buts'." Van reached across and tilted her face towards him, his finger underneath her chin, "I'm not taking 'no' for an answer." He said quietly, smiling wickedly again.
Hitomi swallowed.
Her gaze dropped to that smile…
…to those lips.
"I just…"
Van leaned in closer, much to her dismay, "Oh come on, what can I do to convince you it's the right choice?"
You could kiss me senseless.
Wait, where did THAT come from!?
"You could stop bugging me and let me go to bed." She managed quietly, wanting to move away, knowing she should just move away and yet…not being able to.
"Too easy." He stated, moving closer, "Something else."
She felt a blush creep to her cheeks.
"Van…" She laughed timidly, her gaze darting to the floor, "you're making me nervous…"
He gave her one of her favourite, roguish grins.
"That was not my intent." He said, his voice velvet smooth.
Hitomi swallowed again.
And asked him a very, very stupid question.
"Then what was your intent?" She caught his eyes.
They widened slightly at her words before settling again, heavy lidded and beautifully shadowed.
Van ran a thumb over her lips softly.
"This." He breathed, before closing the remaining distance between them.
Oh God.
And she realised then that her memories had done Van's lips absolutely no justice.
They moved over hers slowly, gently, taking them over and over in soft demand and wicked skill, and making her head rush at the thought of everywhere else they had touched her. Van wrapped his other arm around her, bringing her body into contact with his own, solid one; bringing heat together with heat and igniting a fire within both of them that a year had barely smothered.
"God," He whispered heatedly against her lips as they broke apart, "I've wanted to do that all day."
Hitomi tried to calm the rapid beating of her heart. She couldn't seem to form a coherent thought.
"Van, I…"
He brushed his lips over hers, "Don't tell me to stop…" He breathed, "Don't…"
She responded helplessly, gasping once and then twice as he took her mouth again, this time less gently, and in a manner that practically made her swoon with longing. She felt herself melting into him, felt herself answering his luscious kisses with her own, exploring the silken heat of his mouth, weaving her fingers through his thick, ebony hair.
Holding her waist with both hands, Van brought her back against the door softly, kissing her soundly as he did so. She felt him smile as they pulled apart slightly.
"This brings back memories." He whispered, his voice slightly rougher than before.
Hitomi swallowed, leaning her head back against the door with a light 'thunk'.
"I thought we decided to erase those memories…" She said quietly, her gaze darting to his parted lips.
Van's smile widened.
"Hypocrite." He stated, sliding his hands up her sides lightly, "You've been thinking about it all night."
She blinked.
"Wha—"
"It was obvious, Hitomi." He brought his mouth next to her ear, grazing the rim, "Don't deny it. Your blushes told me everything," His hands wandered further, "your eyes went dark," and further upwards, "you shivered."
She shivered then, when he touched her.
"Van…" She breathed unsteadily, her hands clenching in his hair.
His mouth moved back to hers again, "I was thinking about it too." He stated calmly, "I was thinking about how the memory just wasn't enough anymore."
Hitomi's breath caught in her throat as she processed his words. And for the first time since he'd started kissing her, she found some ounce of sense.
She pulled back, "You…no, Van, we can't."
"Yes, we can." He tried to kiss her again, but she turned her face away, causing his lips to run a searing path along her cheek.
"Not if we're going to be working together." She regarded the key she'd dropped at her feet, "It would be too—"
"So you are coming tomorrow then." He spoke against the skin of her cheek, slowly moving his mouth downwards towards her neck. He made an amused noise, "Now I know what to do whenever I need convince you to do something."
Hitomi couldn't help but laugh slightly.
Van ran his lips along her jaw, "So are you letting me in or not?"
Fighting the urge to shudder helplessly in his embrace, Hitomi turned her head back to him, sliding her hands from behind his neck to rest on his chest.
"Not." She said quietly.
Van looked at her for a long moment, his expression unreadable.
And after a few seconds, he sighed in defeat and rested his forehead against hers.
"You're killing me." He said, and in a way that made her believe him, "Truly, you are."
Hitomi frowned, "I'm sorry."
After breathing deeply in order to gain some semblance of control, Van stepped away from her, his hands leaving her with obvious reluctance.
"Tomorrow morning," He said eventually, watching her through heavy eyes, "you'd better bring me a double espresso."
Hitomi bent to pick up the key lying by her feet, wanting to avoid his gaze, "And why is that?"
She straightened to see him smile slightly, "Because I certainly won't be sleeping tonight."
And, after running a hand through his thoroughly dishevelled hair, he turned and went, shaking his head as he did so.
Hitomi watched him turn the corner without looking back.
And once he'd disappeared from sight, she leant back on the door, closing her eyes.
"Me neither."
Right...
Well, my apologies for the rather long time it took you to read this chapter, because now you're blatantly thinking "Well...that's ten minutes of my life I'll never get back."
If, by any chance though, you have read it AND enjoyed it slightly, do leave a review - they make me a much happier person!
Next chapter soon :D