Okay so here is chapter 2. I said I wouldn't update this until chapter 3 was done and until I updated my other Twilight story but I got caught up in reading the last few days and haven't been writing...lol. But I highly recommend Cassandra Clare's Mortal Instruments trilogy...the first two books are out and it's amazing. But I'm back on track seeing as the third book isn't out until March...lol. Thanks to all who reviewed and added me to their faves. I'd love it if you all reviewed, it'd make me happy!! LOL Thanks though.

Again, I own nothing.

August 10th, 2011 - Astoria, Oregon

I closed the worn black leathered notebook and shoved it in my jacket pocket. I didn't need a jacket for I did not feel the fair 66 degree temperature but it had its uses when I needed to hide things.

I guess that is what I was good at now days. Keeping secrets and hiding things. Sneaking off to the woods and staying for hours on reading as I re-read the past. My past. The past that I was not proud of but wished to go back to if, it meant being with her again.

That right there was wrong and selfish.

It was wrong because I would be changing lifestyles again and going back to do the things that my current family had been trying to get me to stop. It was selfish because I wanted to go back to another woman, the woman that I left, while I had one here with me now. It was wrong to do that to Alice.

Alice is my wife.

My head fell back onto the tree and I sighed. Why did everything have to be so complicated? I would love a little bit of simplicity every once in a while. Why did I still have this God forsaken notebook with me? Why had I written down every aspect of our relationship? Why had I fallen for her in the first place?

Moreover, why did I steal time away from Alice to come here and relish in that past love?

I felt like I was cheating on her. Part of me wondered if she knew what I was doing whenever I left like this. I wondered if she saw me coming to this river and sitting under the same tree to read about my past.

If she did, she did not show it. Each time I left, she let me go with a sweet kiss and a bright smile. I hated myself for doing this to her. I tried throwing the book away. I tried leaving it in another town and I almost burnt it. But I couldn't. It held my past, my history and my memories.

It held the last remaining piece of her. It held our love. I could not just let it go like that. It was too strong to simply forget. Besides that, I had made a vow to her. I might feel that I was cheating Alice but at least I kept the promise that I had made Temperance all those years ago.

I would never forget.

A light crunching of the leaves snapped me out of my reverie. My head looked over to my left and I relaxed. I could tell she was nervous. I wasn't sure why but she was. She also wanted to talk.

"Uncle Jay." she greeted and slowly walked over to sit next to me. Her curly bronze hair was pulled back into a messy bun and she had her bangs pulled down over her forehead. She looked so much like her father it was unreal. It wasn't until you looked her in her eyes that you saw her mother. I still looked at her in awe sometimes. The fact that she was born just 8 years ago and looked like she was 18 was still a shock to me. Trust me when is say this, there isn't much that does shock me.

We had all been smitten when we first saw her. It was an instant attraction to the gorgeous baby with such a unique story. She was half vampire and half human. She fed on blood and human food. She had a beating heart but her skin was as strong as mine was. She was quite the talker to, just not in words. The stories and things she could tell you with one small touch, still blew me away.

She was special and I was damn proud to call her my niece.

"How are you?" she asked, fiddling with her fingers.

I smiled at her nerves, "I'm good. How are you?" She looked at me with an incredulous look and I chuckled.

"Like you don't know." she smirked. I held my hands up in mock defense.

"I was respecting your feelings." I declared and she laughed lightly.

"I wish dad would respect my mind," she mumbled and I chuckled again.

"We all do, Nessie. We've wanted that for years." I smiled. I saw her lips press into a firm line and she began to pluck blades of grass from the ground. I could feel her frustrations so I sent a wave of calm to let her know I was here. I saw the corner of her lips turned up and she dropped the blade of grass.

"I start school tomorrow." she sighed and I leaned back onto the tree. "I'm kind of scared." she admitted and I threw her an odd look.

"Why on Earth are you scared of school?" I asked and she looked at me sadly. Her brown eyes were wide and worried.

"Well, I've never been to a real school before. Dad and Grandma Esme have taught me so I never got to be around humans all that much." she trailed off and I reached over to grab her hand. I knew this time would come but I never thought that she would be scared.

Renesme had been insisting to go to a real school since we realized that she had stopped growing, which was only 6 months ago. Edward wanted to hear nothing of it. He did not want her to go 'through the hell that high school has to offer.' He wanted her to 'lead a normal life.' That opened a whole other assortment of problems from, not only Nessie herself, but from Rosalie, of all people, and me. I, for sure, thought that Rose would want to keep Nessie at home and away from humans but she thought it would be best for her to learn to be around humans as we did.

After all, she was half-human.

So after a few weeks of debates and a lot of yelling, Edward agreed to let her go to a real school and interact with humans.

That would have been the ending to that but then little Renesme, filled with her mother's stubbornness, wanted to alter the deal. She wanted to go to high school by herself. Edward decided to play the dumb card and ask what she meant. He nearly died, again, when she told him that she did not want anyone of her family in the same school as her. She wanted to do this without her father, mother, aunt's and uncles looking over her shoulder. He tried to counter that by telling her that we all went to school together.

She was not having it though.

After more yelling and debating, Edward gave in. He sulked for weeks and drove everyone, mainly me, insane. He eventually pulled his miracle child to the side and told her that he was afraid of loosing her and that he would miss her being away from him all day. From what she told me about that conversation, she pulled out the first images of her and Edward and showed them to him. She even made his day by telling him that she could hear him when he would talk to her through Bella's stomach.

That was the sealer.

"If you're afraid that you'll hurt some, Ness, don't be." I spoke and she shook her head.

"That's not it, Uncle Jay." she sighed and I cocked my head to the side.

"Then tell me. You know you can talk to me." I reminded her and she smiled a little.

"It's just-well, what if they don't like me?" she asked and her hand slid out of mine. "I have a funny name and I know I'm going to be one of the smartest at the school. They will think I am a nerd. I see what people do to nerds at school, Jay. I see it on the television all the time. Plus, a werewolf nick named me after a freaking mythical sea creature." she exclaimed, her hands going very which way as she ranted. "I just don't want to be the odd girl out. I know you all kept to yourself and people talked about you guys. I want to fit in and do normal human things. It's all I've ever wanted but I'm afraid that I'll be some weird girl and miss out on that." I could see the tears filling her deep brown eyes and I reached out to her. She moved into my welcoming arms and I pulled her to my chest.

"Nessie, first things first, you will not be the odd girl out. We purposely stayed away from humans but you are different. You are not full vampire. You deserve that human experience just like Bella did before she was changed." I told her softly as she cried into my chest. "You are crazy to think that you will be the odd girl out. You are gorgeous and smart, people that single you out are jealous. They are stupid to not like you and want to be around you. You have nothing to worry about. Just be you, okay?" I felt her head nod and I moved my arms so she could sit up. Her lips were pouted from crying and her nose was red.

She looked adorable.

I used my sleeved to wipe her tears way and she smiled.

"Thank you, Uncle Jay." I smiled back and pulled my hand back.

"One more thing though." I smirked and she frowned. "Don't let your mother, or mine, hear you insult your name. It's special to them." I reminded her and she sighed.

"I know that and I like it but it's not like anyone else's. I don't want people to pick on me," she pouted and I shook my head.

"Get that big bad wolf on them then." I winked and she blushed. I swiftly got to my feet and held my hand down to her. "I think we should get back before someone sends a search party." She took my hand laughing and brushed her pants off.

"That won't happen. That wife of yours would see us out here." she smiled but mine faltered. This brought back the thoughts from earlier. I did not want to admit it but there was a big possibility that Alice knew what I was doing out here.

"Uncle Jay?" Nessie snapped her fingers in my face and grinned. That was Edward's grin. "Will you?" she asked and I was confused.

"Will I what?" I asked sheepishly. She faked a glare and crossed her arms

"It's rude to ignore me," she stated and I held my hand up again.

"I'm so sorry, almighty Renesme Cullen," I relented with a smirk. "Queen of the Mythical Sea Creatures." I added and she let out a squeal.

"Brat!" she laughed and jumped on my back. "I'm going to tell Grandma you said that," she threatened and I faked crying.

"No, please! Don't tell Esme." I cried and she hit my shoulder.

"Hush you." she demanded and got comfortable on my back. Her arms were wrapped around my neck and I had the crooks of her knees in my arms. "Now I asked you to run me back home. Will you?" she asked.

"Of course." I smiled and took off through the forest. This was a vampire trait that little Renesme was never equipped with. She had speed better than humans did but not as fast as the rest of us. She could hear and speak as we could, fast and below a whisper, and she was just as graceful as any other vampire was as well. However, it was the running that she wished for but was not granted. Therefore, for the past 8 years she has made us her transportation on many occasions and had us carry her. I did not see the big deal or fascination with it honestly. However, Bella often told us that letting her ride made her 'feel more human.' She said that Nessie go the same thrill out of it 'as I did before I was changed.' Bella referred to it as a remarkable memory that she tried each and every day to hold on to.

As you might see already, Bella talked a lot, mainly about Renesme. She would gush over the memories and stories that Nessie would share with her. Saying that Bella was a good mother would be the understatement of the century, and saying that it was not easy would be just as foolish. Bella had come to me many times to talk about her and Renesme. She was worried that she would mess it up or not pay enough attention to Nessie. She did not remember too much of her human years so she worried when all these feelings started to arise. I had sat her down one day and told her about her and her relationship with her mother, Renee. I told her that the roles were reversed for them in that Bella was acting as the mother and Renee the child. She had been upset when I told her this but she understood where the feelings came from. Since then she tried her best to be there when Nessie needed her but not too clingy. She was her mother and her friend, never one more than the other was.

"Why do you come out here?" Nessie asked as I weaved through the trees. My pace slowed and I slowly dropped her to her feet beside me. She looked confused at first but I pointed to the small opening that lead to our house. Another blush.

"Just to relax." I answered and she looked at me cryptically.

"Isn't that something you can take care of yourself?" she teased and I cracked a smile at her. She was very witty. "Or do you mean you want to get out of the house and all the emotions?" She was smart too.

"Yes and no. I could focus on someone who was calm and do it to myself but I hate using other's emotions for my own benefit." I told her honestly. "But it does get a little overwhelming for an empath who lives with that many vampires. Even if all are calm its a little stressful feeling what everyone else is feeling." Her eyes were scrutinizing my face and I felt her hesitation.

"I saw you reading," she whispered and bowed her head. She was ashamed now. Why? "I was kind of spying on you," she added and I frowned. Her face fell when she saw mine and she shook her head. "I know it was wrong but I wanted to see where you were at. Alice and Rose were trying to dress me up for school, Dad was playing really pitiful tunes on the piano, mom and Esme looked like they were about to cry and Carlisle was taking my measurements again." That confused me and I cut her off.

"Why?"

"I think dad wanted to see if I had grown any," she growled and I chuckled. "He really does now want me to go to school."

"He's just going to miss you, that's all." I assured her and wrapped an arm around her. She sighed heavily and lolled her head back.

"That's the thing. I'm going to miss him too but I'm not being all melodramatic about it!" she exclaimed and I laughed aloud. There was no better word to describe Edward than melodramatic or any word that had dramatic in or around it. Edward turned into a big baby since he became a father. He would pout when someone else held her, he's get upset when he missed something important and he's get annoyed when she wanted to share a memory with someone other than him. He liked to hog his child but I guess I would to if I had one under the circumstances that he did. She was, again, the miracle baby.

"Anyways, I had to get out of there. It was annoying and I realized that you were gone again and I see how you always come back all relaxed so I wanted to see where and what you were doing." she admitted. "I saw you reading that brown leather book and you looked so peaceful, Uncle Jay. I didn't have the heart to bother you so I waited until you stopped to move again." I felt her sincerity and embarrassment.

"I'm not mad at you, Nessie. I'm a little bothered that you did spy on me, so to speak, but after you put it the way you just did, I can't be mad." I smiled and she breathed a sigh of relief. "Just don't do it again." I warned and she nodded her head quickly. We walked the rest of the way to the house in silence. I could tell that she wanted to talk but she did not want to push it.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" she asked as we jumped onto the back porch. I walked ahead and opened the door for her with an apologetic smile.

"No. I'm sorry." I told her and she nodded her head sadly. "Maybe one day. Okay?" A bright smile made its way onto her face and she skipped into the open door. I did not follow. I let it shut gently and walked over to the wood railing of the porch. I leaned down on the ledge and hunched over, dropping my head between my hands as I took unnecessary deep breaths.

Now I had Nessie wondering what I was up to. I'm sure a few of the others wondered where I was but they did not bother asking. We all wanted our personal times but I doubt they were thinking about past loves during theirs.

I shook my head and shook the guilt off as I did. I was not doing anything and I honestly believe if I kept thinking that I might believe it one day. I lifted my head back up and stared out into the forest.

We now lived in Astoria. We did not stay in Forks much longer after the whole Volturri incident and them trying to take Renesme. People did not expect to see Bella and Edward with a baby and most were told that she was dead, which she was in a sense, so we moved. We went to Alaska for a long while. Esme and Carlisle were handing a helping hand to Carmen and Eleazar after Irina and Kate took off. They eventually came back and grieved as they were supposed to and then we left. We spent about a year in Toronto before coming here to Astoria and settling. It was as close as we were going to get to Forks so Bella could see Charlie and the pack.

Charlie knew of our moving and visited us frequently as we moved around. He loved seeing Renesme and was quite happy when he found out that she had stopped growing. It was hard for him to see his grandchild keep growing and growing. For a while we thought that she would not stop but she kept slowing down until she did stop at the body of a young adult. Charlie did not ask too many questions, as he was a man of his word. He just wanted to see his daughter and granddaughter. I loved that he was a simple man.

Jacob and the pack also visited us, much to Rose's dislike. Mostly it was just Jake, Seth and Lean but Quil, Embry and Billy came along on occasion. Bella and Renesme loved it when they came to visit. Bella said that having them around made it feel normal. She was able to keep them over her change and it kept some human memories alive. Nessie just loved seeing Jake and everyone knew why. No one spoke of it though, unless you wanted Jake and Edward to tear the house down. That had happened twice so far.

It was when Jacob came to visit that I sued my ability the most. I grew tired of the tension and angry from Edward, the nerves from Bella, the hate from Rose, the unending lust and hormones from Jake and the aggravation from Nessie. I had to give the mental chill pill or I would pull my hair out. Luckily, Carlisle settled for making rules for the visitations.

No hitting, name-calling or rude/crude jokes. No hitting, biting, scratching or throwing objects or each other. Renesme and Jacob had to have supervisions after nine at night unless they were on a date and her curfew was midnight.

The list went on and part contradicted others as he tried to please everyone. Apparently, no one else noticed that Nessie just wanted to spend time with Jake. They would flirt but Jake was not going to push his limits. He might have felt those hormones but he was not giving into them. He cared deeply for Nessie just as she cared for him.

"Jasper."

A small smile formed on my lips and I turned around. Alice was leaning against the doorframe with a smile. All thoughts of Temperance vanished and I focused on Alice. That was my rule. Alice did not deserve to share out time with someone else so when it was us, it was just us.

"Alice." I greeted. She moved from the half open door and walked over to my side. I looked down at her and smirked. She was so unbelievably short. My 6'3" and her 4'11" made for a lot of laughs and funny looks.

"Did you enjoy your talk with Nessie?" she inquired. Her golden eyes looked up to meet mine and I nodded as I brushed a piece of her hair from her forehead.

"Yes, I did actually. I'm glad she knows she can come to me." She smiled and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"She knows you listen and she knows you can feel what she feels. You're the best option out of all of us," she told me. I hooked an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to me. "I love you, Jasper." Her declaration was unexpected. I could feel an odd emotion that I had never felt from her before.

A tinge of sadness and loss. This hurt me. Alice was never sad. She was always happy and chipper. What caused her to feel this way?

My body tensed when I recalled what Renesme had said earlier.

That wife of yours would see us out here.

Alice had just asked about my talk with Nessie. If she could see that, she would most definitely see me by myself because she still could not see Renesme clearly. She had to focus on who Nessie was with to see the vision.

She knew what I was doing. I had made her feel this way.

I felt her move in my arms and looked up at me oddly. I gave her the best smile I could.

"I love you too, Alice."

Then she was happy again.