*Stephenie owns all rights to Twilight references and characters. I just like messing around with them.

**Lillie Cullen rocks. You all know that! She is a great beta and I owe her.

This is two postings in two days! Yeah!! Try not to get too use to it. I may get a life sometime soon.

************************************************

After Bella was released from the hospital, we took her home to Forks and got her settled back into her own room. Alice stayed at the house for the next several weeks, 'sleeping' on the couch so she could help Bella with her human moments without embarrassment. I stayed as well, leaving promptly at nine every evening and then climbing in her bedroom window. I didn't want to leave her, not even to hunt, but it was beginning to wear on me. Every time Alice changed the dressings on her wounds I could smell the scabs. Even dried, her blood made my stomach ache. My hands would start to shake and my mind would cloud up, focused on nothing but the urge, no – the need, to taste her again. Not to kill her, just a little taste, a tiny lick just to take the edge off. But every time I would get close to her, offer to change her dressings myself, Alice would stop me. I was beginning to wonder if she was here to take care of Bella or to keep me from what I needed.

Then came Bella's monthly visitor. Alice saw it coming, quickly running to the store to buy tampons. I could hear Bella arguing with her in the bathroom that she had always preferred pads, she didn't like the idea of anything foreign going…'up there.' Finally, Alice convinced her, but it didn't really matter. I could still smell it, I still knew. I knew how to work my way around Alice. I make a conscious decision that I was going to ignore it, that I just wanted to kiss Bella and hold her tight. Alice didn't need to know any different.

When Bella came back in the bedroom, I pulled her against me and started kissing her, more passionately than I had allowed my boundaries to take me. I laid Bella down on the bed and started nuzzling her jawbone, placing open mouthed kisses on her neck and collarbone. Bella sighed as she arched into me.

"Hey Guys! In case you didn't notice, I'm still here!" Alice pouted. I didn't slow my ministrations as I mumbled against Bella's skin.

"We know, Alice. Why exactly is that, anyway?" I returned to Bella's mouth and sucked her lower lip in as I hitched her good leg over my hip. Bella gasped in shock around the same time Alice did.

"Alright, I can take a hint. I'm going out for a while." Alice started towards the door, pausing before she left. "Be good, Edward. You know what I mean."

I lifted Bella's t-shirt up to expose a small strip of skin and Bella broke away from my kiss in shock.

"Edward! What you are doing?"

I looked up at her and feigned innocence. "Are you complaining, love? Should I stop?" Bella shook her head rapidly and laid back down. I chuckled as I lowered my head and began kissing her stomach, swirling my tongue around her belly button. I was taking my time, letting the intoxicating scent wash over me; letting Alice get farther away before I went further.

Then when I could take no more, I moved my body lower between Bella's legs and buried my nose into her sweatpants above her center. Inhaling deeply, I moaned in pleasure. The blood was old, not as sweet, but still promised to be oh so satisfying. Bella lifted her head and looked at me curiously.

"Okay, Edward, I'm not complaining, but what are you doing?" She deserved the truth. Maybe if I told her, she would let me have what I needed. No. I couldn't, not like this. I would disgust my love. I can do this. I can resist this evil temptation. I will not degrade her in this way. She is innocent, pure, lovely.

I nuzzled my nose between her thighs and inhaled again before raising back up to look her in the eye "Bella, I am just cuddling with you. I wanted rid of Alice because she has been hovering over us lately." Although true, I had to hold back from her. That was best. She cannot realize I am losing my damn mind.

She smiled at me. I started to move myself up to her side to hold my angel in my arms. I can resist. I can beat this. "Come here Edward. I have missed our alone time tooo…ahhh…ahhhchoo!"

I leapt across the room. This girl was going to be the true and final death of me. "Bella, I have to leave. I think I hear Emmett calling me." I could not believe this. I was quivering. Once again, these god awful shakes were back. I started for the window since it was my quickest escape.

"Edward, what is going on with you? You are even more hot and cold than usual. I know Emmett is not calling you because anyone, even a simple human, can hear him bellow. Now get over here and talk to me." She began to stand to come after me, but her movement was too fast for her broken body and she fell forward. Trying to catch herself from falling, she reached out to her bed side table and her palm hit the corner taking a piece of flesh with it. Automatically I moved to catch her right before she landed on the floor and possibly caused even more damage to herself.

I took her into my arms and moved her back to the bed. I began to examine her body to make sure she did not sustain any more injuries. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? You did not land on your leg did you?" As I was inspecting her, I noticed the scrape on her hand. Just the faintest amount of blood was pooling on her palm. I was staring at it. Mesmerized by the ruby red color. My body was reacting in ways before thought unimaginable, unattainable. This is your chance. Just one more time and I am sure I could resist after this……

"Edward!"

Oh, shit! Not again.

"I know for a fact that all the drugs are out of my system now. Alice told me that that was why you were tonguing me in the hospital. I bought it then. But now this is just ridiculous. You are once again going at me like Amy Winehouse does her secret stash. I know you were sniffing my feminine goods earlier as well. I know you are a vamp and I sing to you but that is nasty." She wrinkled her nose as she says this. "For all the times I have longed for you to look at me like this, I was certainly not thinking you would be staring at my bloody hand."

I had to tell her, make her understand. I was not choosing to be like this. If only I could take the edge off I could think clearly again. Go back to how we were meant to be.

"Bella, ever since I drew the venom out of your hand, I have been craving your blood. Not like before. Like my body physically needs it, for more than just food. I have times where my body shakes, and I can think of nothing else but wanting a taste of you, just a tiny one. Even hunting does me no good. It does nothing to soothe the cravings."

"It sounds as though you're going through withdrawal," Bella mused. She looked to be in deep thought for a while, then she got a strange look about her.

"I don't see why you couldn't have a taste now and again. I mean, people donate blood all the time and their body just makes more. We would just have to be sensible about it. Heck, it could even be fun." Bella lifted her eyebrows suggestively.

"Fun?" I asked. "Fun how?"

"Well…" she blushed and looked down, picking lint off her comforter. "Take now, for example. You want a taste of the blood that you smell. I have been dying for you to loosen up your boundaries with me. If you think you can manage without killing me, then it could be a win-win situation for both of us."

"What do you mean, Bella?" I asked hesitantly.

"Here, let's make the shakes go away first and then we'll talk about it." Bella held out her injured hand to me. I grabbed her hand and lowered my head to it, looking up once more to make sure I had her permission. Bella nodded and I smiled appreciatively before licking her wound, taking my time to swirl my tongue around the injured flesh. I moaned against her as that taste, as wonderful as I remembered, filled my senses. My mind clouded over and all coherent thought was lost to me as I drifted away to utopia. It was dizzying in its intensity.

When I was certain the wound was cauterized by my venom and every last cell of blood was gone. I pulled back. The wound had healed over and shimmered pale silver, similar to her bite wound but not as prominent. I ran my tongue around the inside of my mouth, ensuring nothing was left on the roof of my mouth or the insides of my cheeks before swallowing deeply. "Feel better?" Bella asked with a smirk.

"I feel wonderful!" I said, giddy. I flopped back onto the bed next to her and put my hands behind my head. My body felt like it was warmed from the inside out, tingling as though waking up. Yet all I could think of was I wanted more. Now. But I had to be patient. I had to wait to learn what Bella's terms were and decide if I could agree to them.

*******************

I may not have any hot guys tied up with silk (yet) but I still love reviews. They help feed the addiction!!