Weasel, the best friend and roommate of our mighty hero, was woken up at three in the morning when Deadpool got home. "Wade, why were you out so late?"

"Remember how I told you I refused to let someone from my past randomly showing up bother me?"

"Um..yeah that was a week ago and doesn't explain anything."

"Well, it started bothering me, so I went on a soul searching walk in the middle of the night, and bought this white board."

"I'm going back to bed."

"Wait Weasel, you have to help me."

"I'll help you in the morning."

"It is morning."

"I'll help you at a sane time then." Weasel went back to his room to sleep. Later, at a saner time, he awoke to Deadpool having bought another white board while he was sleeping, and he had written out several names on one of them. On the other he wrote out everything he knew about the Femme Fatale from a week ago. "What's all this?" Weasel asked.

"This list of names is all the people I remember from before Weapon X. One of them had to be that chick that knew me. The problem, and this is where you come in, is that with my memory being as messed up as it is, not all of these people actually exist."

"So you need me to help you figure out who's real and who isn't?"

"The voices have been no help, so yes."

hey, we've totally been helpful

/I told you erase all the males from the board/

"Yes, and I appreciate that, but what else have you done?"

/um.../

nothing really

"That's what I thought."

Weasel was now sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee. "Stop talking to yourself and tell me what you remember about the first person on the board."

"Valery Nightingale, she was my girlfriend in college. We met when-"

"I'm going to stop you right there Wade, you never went to college."

"I didn't?"

"You joined the army when you were eighteen."

"How do you know this?" He pointed his gun at Weasel.

"You told me."

"Oh right." He put the gun away. "Wait how do I know I can trust me?" He now pointed the gun at his own head.

"Why did I agree to this?" Weasel mumbled. "I've seen your army record; that actually happened."

"Oh okay." Deadpool dropped his gun in the candy bowl. "Let's see who's next on the list? Oh the lovely Veronica Jones, I miss her, she made me feel special in a way no woman could."

"Who was she?"

"My elderly neighbor. I mowed her lawn, and she gave me candy. It was great."

"She's probably dead now."

"Veronica, nooooooooooo"

/You should have seen that coming./

rest in peace Veronica

"I'm going to need more coffee to get through this." Weasel got up to get himself more coffee. "Look Deadpool, not that this isn't fun or anything, but I have things to do today."

"What!? What could possibly be more important than helping me?"

"I have a job, a legal job. And I need to get to it, so I'm not fired."

"That's not any fun. Fine go to your job, but we're picking up where we left off when you get back."

"Yeah whatever." Weasel left before Deadpool could change his mind.

By the time Weasel got home Deadpool was gone, he left a note though. "Meet me at the strip club down the street." Weasel decided to head over there right away. It was ladies night at the strip club, and it annoyed Weasel that Deadpool didn't mention this. "Why would you be here if it's ladies night?" He asked while sitting next to Deadpool.

"I'm an equal opportunity lover."

"Why did you tell me to come?"

"A few reasons. First I want to pick up where we left off before. Second I want you to put this bill in this fine gentleman's banana hammock."

"Why don't you do it?"

"Then people will start talking. I have a reputation you know."

"Can we just...get back to your mystery woman?"

"Aw you're no fun." Deadpool pulled out a notebook where he wrote everything from the whiteboards. "Let's see who's next on the list? Ooh, Ms. Hannah! She was my hot piano teacher."

"Do you even play piano?"

"No, so I guess she gets crossed off the list."

"Why don't you just skip to women who actually look like the chick from last week."

"Fine." He crossed several names off the list. "Okay that leaves Angela Smith, Victoria Merryweather, Kira Strande, and T'rea."

"What kind of name is T'rea?"

"She's an alien."

"Okay, she's definitely not real."

"What we had was special!" Deadpool crossed her name off anyway. "Hey look over there some guy dressed like Alan Scott just came in!"

"Wade! try to control you ADD. Also, why is he dressed up?"

"There's a comic con going on near here. I wonder if they showed my movie trailer?"

"You don't have a movie. Now can we please focus."

"Which of these lovely ladies would you like me to tell you about first?"

"Just pick one."

"Victoria it is then. As you can tell I really have a thing for girls whose name starts with V, which I think V for Vendetta is about."

/That's not what it's about./

what if we met a girl whose name was vendetta?

/As a code name or actual name?/

either one.

/Well, that'd be pretty hot./

"Would you two shut up, I'm trying to tell a story. Anyways she was a cheerleader at my high school. She was also my only competition for my first crush, Mark something or other. I don't actually remember his last name."

"Do you think she would become a merc?" Weasel asked.

"Don't know. Maybe. Speaking of mercs check this guy out." Deadpool was pointing to a stripper wearing an outfit that partially resembled his own. "I like this guy. Papa's gonna make it rain now." Deadpool threw all the ones he had on him in the air showering the stripper.

"What about these other two?" Weasel tried to get Deadpool to focus again.

"Right Angela and Kira. Kira was like the sister I never wanted, but she could be pretty cool sometimes. She gave me my first pair of katana. As for Angela, well she was a waitress at a diner I frequented. She was the first person I told I was terminal."

"Wow... you must have been close to both of them."

"Yep, which is why neither of them can be the merc I ran into. They wouldn't take my job like that. It has to be Victoria, she hated me."

"I'll look her up, see if I find anything." Weasel knew Deadpool's logic wasn't very sound, but he was going to look up Victoria anyway, and while he's at it he's going to check out the other two. He got up ready to leave.

"Oh no you don't." Deadpool grabbed him and made him sit back down. "The reason I'm here is about to go up on stage." A stripper dressed like Hal Jordan came up on stage. "Now I'm going to make it hail."

"Oh no..."

Deadpool opened all his pouches revealing they were full of pennies. He got up on stage and dumped them all on the stripper. "Suck it, Hal! I've got my own movie now! Your plan to steal Ryan Reynolds from me failed!" Deadpool was quickly thrown out by the bouncers.

"Was that really necessary?" Weasel asked after following Deadpool outside.

"Yes. He had to know my feelings." They heard police sirens approaching. "They called the cops on me? Unbelievable." He took his mask off and put it on Weasel. "Hold this for me will you."

Before Weasel could question that, the cops arrived and Deadpool was long gone. They arrested Weasel mistaking him for Deadpool.