"Did you get in to see him?" Serena asked. Her normal effervescent personality was absent, her face tense and drawn. She patted the seat next to her in an open invitation for Nate to join her on the plush sofa. He paused to admire the lovely picture she made, her hair bathed in the sunlight streaming in from the floor to ceiling picture windows. Her artistically, bordering on the obnoxious, decorated penthouse was uncharacteristically empty and somber. Normally teeming with manufactured gaiety from slumming socialites and various talented émigrés from the local artists' quarter, the place was unrecognizable.
Seating himself at her side, Nate contemplating the right words to describe his meeting with Chuck. "I did."
A mixture of relief, fear and hope danced across her features. "I thought you might. You're the one person I thought he might have neglected to add to his stupid do not admit list. Especially since you haven't spoken since …" Overwhelmed with emotion, she waited for the tremor in her voice to still before continuing. "I can't believe he has a list of people that are forbidden from The Palace."
"He never bothered to ban me." Nate's voice, tinged with bitterness, was at odds with the sorrow glinting in his eyes.
"That's what I was counting on, part of the reason I sent you. Well, that and I hoped that the sight of you would get some reaction out of him. Anything…"
"It got a reaction. Just not the one you probably expected."
"What do you mean?" Her delicate brows knitted in consternation, her jaw tightening, as she readied herself for Nate's news.
" Serena, it's bad. Worse than you expected." He hesitated to even say the words, knowing once spoken they would have to be acknowledged. "He sees Blair."
"What?" Her eyes widened in astonishment, her mouth falling open in shock.
He captured her gaze, intent on conveying his seriousness. "He sees Blair."
"What? Like a ghost?"
"Maybe. I don't know. " He was at a loss. He had no clue how to explain what he had witnessed. He would have thought the whole experience a dream if not for the fact he had just come from Chuck's and he was painfully awake. "I don't know. He was talking to her, like she was right there, in the room with us, standing next to me. "
Serena stood up, surprised and shaken. "Oh, God. What is he on? He actually sees her? I knew things were bad. The last time I saw him he was so weird. There were no sleazy innuendos. How could this happen?"
"It has to be drugs or alcohol. A combination of both? Maybe a mental breakdown? I don't know," he sighed heavily, his heart aching. "It's Chuck. Who knows what he's using."
Serena sat back down, looking at him warily. "I know this sounds crazy, but do you think maybe she is haunting him?" Aware of the incredulity and disbelief beginning to cloud his gaze she rushed the remaining words out before she lost courage. "They never did find her. Maybe she can't rest until we bring her home. You know she would hate being buried anywhere but the UES."
"You can't be serious."
"You're right. It's crazy." Sadly she shook her head, ridding herself of the fantasy. "I just would prefer to believe that Chuck isn't an insane addict and Blair is still hanging around in some crazy kind of after-life. "
"Me too. " Nate grasped her hand comfortingly.
Laying her head on his shoulder they sat quietly for a time, both lost in memories of Blair. The sunlight fading through the windows forced Serena back to the present. "We have to do something."
"What can we do? He's been a mess since Blair died. If doesn't matter if it is drugs or psychosis that is bringing her back, he won't want to risk losing her by getting treatment. He will stay on this path even if it kills him.
"We can't just sit back and do nothing. When Blair...when I found out..I knew that I, would never be whole again. If we lose Chuck I don't know how to come back from that." Tears filled her eyes, spilling over and rolling down her cheeks. Clumsily she brushed them away with the backs of her hands.
"I don't know what we can do. He's a grown man. What are we going to do lock him up?
"I don't know−" Temporarily tabling the suggestion, she quizzed Nate. "What exactly did he say when you saw him?"
"Not much. He may have forgotten to blackball me from his suite, but he wasn't happy to see me. He blames me." His voice resonated with hurt and remorse.
"He doesn't blame you," Serena said softly.
"He should." He exhaled sharply, shoving his hands in his pockets and slumping into the sofa.
"None of this was your fault, except the part where you used very bad judgment. Honestly Nate, what were you thinking?"
Head bowed, guilt aflame in his chest, he sighed. "I don't know. It's silly, but I never expected they would get married. It never bothered me that they were dating. Probably because I never expected them to last. You know how they were. Hating each other and swearing it was over one minute, screwing the next." Serena nodded, a smile hovering over her lips as she remembered. "When they got engaged, I couldn't stop thinking about Blair. Somewhere In the back of my mind, part of me, still expected we would find our way back to each other. Our future engagement and marriage was all she ever talked about from the time we were six. It was so entrenched in my head that every time I thought about marriage I pictured her. I always thought we had plenty of time. Then Chuck proposed and I had to at least let her know how I felt. It was only fair."
Serena looked at him in amused pity. "Nate, I love you, but you're an ass."
"I know. I was stupid. I would give anything to go back and change things. If I hadn't told Blair how I felt they never would've fought and she wouldn't have left. " He pressed his hands over his eyes to keep the tears at bay.
"Oh, Nate." Serena looked at him with sympathy, her voice aching with sadness. "I thought you knew. Her leaving had nothing to do with you. She had been planning that trip to Harold's for weeks. There is no way anyone could have predicted that the Bass jet would have mechanical problems. "
"I didn't know." Relief flooded Nate, lightening his soul. The crippling guilt he had carried for years slowly faded. All this time he had thought it was his fault Blair had got on the plane that day. "I thought he hated me, that he blamed me. I thought everything was my fault and that is why he had me thrown out of her funeral."
"Nate, no one blames you." This time Serena reached out to comfort him. "Chuck doesn't hate you. After the funeral he told me he didn't blame you for trying since he would've done the same. What he couldn't forgive was that when she left they were fighting about you. That's why he had you thrown out at the funeral. He couldn't bear to see you." The knowledge that she could have prevented some of this twisted and turned painfully within her. She had known Nate was pining for Blair, but she had assumed, given lack of encouragement, that his feelings would quickly ping pong elsewhere. He had yet to prove steadfast devotion to anything or anyone. She knew she couldn't have prevented Blair dying, but she could have prevented Nate's foolish declaration. Without it, Chuck would have never had reason to shut his best friend out. Together they could have prevented the suicidal downward spiral Chuck was now stuck in. "We need to do something. Maybe rehab or therapy? If he continues like this we will lose him too."
"I know you don't want to hear this, but Vanessa works with a lot of addicts over at the clinic and the one thing she's learned is you have to want help. We can't help Chuck unless he wants to be helped.
Serena shot him a look of withering disdain. "Vanessa?"
He stiffened, momentarily abashed. "She's been a really good friend." Under Serena's scornful scrutiny his voice wavered. "It's not like that. I care about her."
"Right." Her mocking voice lengthened the succinct word into a sentence
Suddenly wary, he chose to ignore the current direction the conversation was headed. "I don't know what we can do short of kidnapping and locking him up."
"Can we do that?" She asked her voice crisp and clear.
He gave her a side long glance of disbelief. "Serena−"
"We have got get him out of that hotel and into rehab. He will never go willingly if there is a chance he is going to lose his Blair fantasies by getting clean." While Serena abhorred manipulating and scheming, often finding herself an innocent participant in Blair's plans, for the first time in her life she thanked her best friend for the unwilling tutelage she had gained spending hours at her side.
"I don't even know if it is a substance abuse thing. Maybe it's some kind of breakdown. When I was there I only saw him drinking."
"It doesn't matter if it is drugs, alcohol, a psychotic break or all three. We are going to fix this." When it came to her loved ones, Serena's courage and determination knew no bounds. She knew things would never be the same, but there was a chance if they could reach Chuck, they could build something new. "I know this is drastic, but I think we should try and have him declared incompetent. That way we can force him to get help. "
"Are you serious?" He stared at her, complete surprise on his face.
"Perfectly. We can't let him continue like this. If anything happens to him Blair will come back and haunt us both. "
"She would, wouldn't she?" Nate shuddered. Thinking about Blair stopping in on his shopping trips and criticizing his choice of clothes, disparaging the amount of time he spent in Brooklyn, critiquing his relationship with Vanessa horrified him. Maybe there was a way to commit Chuck. Especially since he had gone all Howard Hughes on them. There was only one solution. "We have to go to Jack."
"No! Absolutely not."
"Serena, think about it. He is Chuck's only living relative. If anyone is going to have any clout in getting him committed it's going to be Jack."
"No." Her voice rose, hostile and angry.
Nate countered: "Be reasonable. There's no way a judge is going declare Chuck incapacitated without a relatives testimony. Besides he is the only logical choice for guardianship.
As much as she hated it his reasoning almost made sense. She felt dirty even contemplating the idea. "No. If we turn Chuck over to Jack he will have him locked up forever. More than likely he will bribe someone to poison him. "
"I know you hate him, but he isn't going to risk something like that. He already has what he wants. Chuck gave him power of attorney over his company shares soon after Blair died. As long as Bass Industries continues to makes money, Chuck wants nothing to do with it. That isn't going to change even if he does get better. There are too many memories of Blair there for him to ever go back. "
Serena bit her lip, considering. "You're probably right about that. Bass Industries was their kingdom." Her eye lit up in amusement. "Who would have thought Blair would have gotten that involved in business? "
Nate looked at her pointedly, sarcasm evident. "It wasn't like her at all to enjoy managing 1000's of minions. She wasn't opinionated at all about how things should be done."
"Right, she got to be Queen B. Except in a businessy, you control billions of dollars kind of way."
Nate took pleasure at the laughter that bubbled from her Serena's lips at the memories of business Blair. It had been so long since he had heard that lovely golden sound. Throwing her head back she groaned. "Ugh, I just hate dealing with Jack. I still can't believe Chuck hired him back after what happened with my Mom. "
"I think he realized no other hire was going to be as obsessive about the company as Jack was. As unpleasant as it was, he did apologize to Lily and they have managed to be cordial over the years. Besides I think he's changed a lot since then. I heard he got engaged. "
Serena considered a kinder gentler Jack for a second before dismissing the notion entirely. She knew from experience that leopards can't change their spots. "Poor girl, I hope she knows what she's getting into. My Mom may be civil to Jack, but she still hates him. She only tolerates him for Chuck. She didn't want him to lose the only blood family he has.
Nate silently agreed, but he realized that Jack was their best hope. Better to deal with the devil you know. "If we really want to help Chuck, Jack is the key. He has the power and clout to get legal guardianship of Chuck. Without his help we are left appealing to Chuck's sense of self preservation and we know how that will go."
"I hate this. I just don't see any other way. Do you think he will ever forgive us?" Wistful her eyes searched Nate's for benediction he was unable to give.
"I don't know." His voice faded to hushed stillness as the remaining sunlight fled the room.
A/N: I was planning to let this stand as a one-shot, but I couldn't let it go. Thanks go to my wonderful reviewers flipped, hopelessromantic549, SnowedUnderNJ, Dystopic Entropy and Felicia. Without your reviews I never would have continued writing. Your kind words were directly responsible for my other story Never Be Free. Let me know if I should continue this, perhaps adding a soap operaish twist.