Morning all~~! ^_^ I'm so happy to get so many reviews, and I love how everyone had the same thoughts I did on one of Godot's Lang Zi's XD Yes, I will be incorporating that one into the story at some point. In fact, I'm gonna use all the ones suggested at some point so keep reading because you may come across your Lang Zi Says in a later chapter. In the mean time, let's carry on with chapter 2~~! And look out for a familiar face ;)
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Chapter Two- Formidable Opponents
-Date: Saturday, May-
-Time: 1.10pm-
-Place: Random Field-
"Let's get this party started~! I can't wait to see what trials await our contestants this year!" Kay was busy doing a very complicated gymnastics routine on the stage as she expressed her excitement. Stopping suddenly and looking at the contestants in front of her, she smiled and pointed at a certain scruffy detective.
"Gummy, we didn't get much of a chance to see you last year so would you do the honours of starting us off this year?"
"Sure thing pal! I've got a really good Lang Zi, I thought really hard about it!" Gumshoe grinned, obviously proud of the Lang Zi he was going to dish out. However, before he could reveal what it was, Edgeworth came up to him and said in a hushed voice so only the detective could hear, "Unless you don't want your salary to be cut, you will give this Lang Zi to the old lady."
Gumshoe was surprised at this, it wasn't usually Edgeworth's style to target someone so obviously, the prosecutor preferred to go about things in a more subtle way.
"That's not usually how a gentleman behaves sir," commented scruffy absentmindedly.
Miles sighed, knowing full well that he shouldn't really target someone so early on, let alone an old lady. But she harasses me constantly, I can't let her stay around too long or who knows what she'll make me do! So regardless of the fact that I'm shunning chivalry, I have to get her out!
Not wanting to go against the silver haired man's request, Gumshoe cleared his throat and said, "Wendy Oldbag, Lang Zi Says: Climb that tree over there pal!" Gumshoe pointed to a tree that was very familiar to past contestants, and they all looked shocked at the idea of this poor (yet annoying) old lady having to go through the ordeal that would inevitably occur. Even Edgeworth, who wanted Oldbag out more than anything, wasn't sure he should allow her to be subjected to the horror that would soon unleash itself.
"Nice twist Gummy, giving us a taste of the vintage Lang Zi's from last year~!" Sang Kay. "Well let's go Ms. Oldbag, climb that tree~!"
"Whippersnappers!" Exclaimed the old bag, "How dare you give such a strenuous task to a poor old lady? I tell you, young people nowadays have no respect whatsoever! It's just like the time I was a security guard, and some kids were messing around! I went to tell them to go away but did they listen to me? No! They carried on and called me the most shocking names you've ever heard! So I-" There was just no stopping her once she got started. After five minutes of deafening ranting, Wendy finally shut up. No matter what anyone may have thought before, there was now a unanimous feeling of: climb that tree right now and accept your fate!
"Umm... Ms. Oldbag? You have to do the Lang Zi now," Kay was doing her best to remind the grey haired lady of what she had to do, without angering her and setting her off on another rant.
"Silence whippersnapper! I know what I have to do! Honestly, young people these days have no respect..." She started mumbling some angered words at the youth of today but she went up to the tree she had to climb and set about her task. All those years of working as a security guard had made Oldbag rather formidable, so she pulled herself onto the first branch with ease. She made light work of the bottom branches, ascending at a constant rate. Despite gaining loads of enemies due to her excessive ranting, she gained respect from the others as well. After all, here was this old lady of at least 105 climbing a tree and doing it at an impressive speed as well.
Sadly, those who were here the previous year knew that her ascent would soon be brought to a crashing halt, and sure enough a rustling sound became audible and the tree started to shake. At first, the shaking was fairly gentle and so Wendy disregarded it, but in the space of a few seconds the shaking became rather violent. The shaking wasn't the only thing becoming more and more hostile, the old lady's mood was rapidly heading in the same direction. "WHIPPERSNAPPERS! What is the meaning of this?"
Wendy soon found out what the meaning of it was, as a rapid blur of grey collided into her and she started falling from the tree. However, as I mentioned before, all her work as a security guard had made her formidable and so right before she hit the ground she managed to grab onto a branch and land neatly on the ground. No one could believe what they just saw, but that was nothing compared to what was about to happen.
The man eating squirrel clearly remembered the intruders in his field from last year, and was not in a good mood at all. He flew at Oldbag, who used all her guard skills to block the attack and swing a quick punch, which landed cleanly on her opponents right cheek. The squirrel was thrown backwards, but quickly regained its composure and flew at the old lady once again. Being the age she was, Wendy wasn't the quickest person in the world, and so she had no hope of dodging. The squirrel managed to swipe at her left arm, tearing through the material and causing a cut. This was a fatal mistake on the rodent's behalf.
"WHIPPERSNAPPER!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "Honestly, animals these days have no respect! Why, it's just like the time I was walking in the park and there was a pond so I brought some bread to feed the ducks. But were they grateful? NO! All they did was ask for more and they didn't even say thank you! Why, I tell you-" Yelling at the top of her lungs, the squirrel's tiny ears couldn't take the abuse. Oldbag saw this, and picked the man eating squirrel up by the scruff of his neck and yelled even louder before eventually, the poor creature had passed out. With that, the old lady simply said, "Hmph! Doesn't even have the decency to listen to this poor old lady," and tossed the squirrel over her back so it landed in the tree.
The infamous WTF faces that look like this: O_O were back, and appeared on everyone's face. They could not believe what they had just seen, it looked like Oldbag used epic ninja ranting skills to weaken her opponent and then strike a critical blow. Lang couldn't help but be impressed with this fighting tactic, but he was still suspicious of her because of the way she acted towards Miles.
Kay was the first to enter reality. "Well, this competition has already taken an interesting turn, with Wendy Oldbag defeating the Random Field's man eating squirrel like it was nothing! Is there anything this old lady can't do?" Kay resumed her lively skipping routine about the stage, "It looks like she'll be one to watch this year!"
"Edgey-poo~! Did you see what I did? Were you impressed, my darling?" Wendy sauntered up to Miles and put her arms around him. "Looks like we can still be in the competition together~!" You could actually see sparkles surrounding her. Lang growled at her but she simply said, "Leave us alone, whippersnapper," which angered the wolf more and caused Edgeworth to nearly die there and then. If no one gets her out soon then Lang is going to lose it...
"Ahem, I know we are all full of anticipation to see what will happen next and so..." Kay started to spin quickly in circles before randomly stopping and pointing at someone. That someone was a certain notorious 'ladies man'. Kay smiled, "Larry Butz, would you please issue the next Lang Zi?"
"You bet!" Said the eager man, grinning widely. He looked at Franziska, who gave a death glare in return.
"You're even more of a fool than I thought if you really think you can give me a Lang Zi!"
"Don't worry Franzy," he said cheerfully, although the use of this nickname earned him a lash of the prosecuting prodigy's whip. Nevertheless, Larry withstood the pain and proceeded to give the Lang Zi he had been thinking of ever since he saw the game last year. "Franziska von Karma, Lang Zi Says: Go out with me." The sparkles that had surrounded Oldbag previously were now attached to Larry, he was positively glowing at the prospect of having the blue haired woman as his girlfriend. Everyone looked at him awkwardly. Miles was the one who said something in the end.
"Are you actually that much of an idiot Larry?" he sighed. "You were here briefly last year, and you know full well that Franziska is already in a relationship."
"Yeah I know, but I thought that would be kinda irrelevant cuz aren't ya supposed to do whatever someone says in this game?" Larry had a point. Franziska gave another vicious lash at the brunette.
"How dare you have the nerve to even think you could go out with me, who is perfection personified?" She snarled.
"But... scientifically speaking, don't you have to go out with him? I mean, it is the rules of the game," reasoned Ema.
"I refuse to allow it!" Franziska smacked her whip on the ground to show that she meant business.
"Well then... according to all the scientific laws you should be out..." Ema's voice died down a bit towards the end of her sentence because the young von Karma shot her a look that would turn even Satan into a sniveling baby.
Unsure of how to proceed, the competitors looked at Kay who was bound to have drawn some conclusion as it is her game. She paused for a moment, looking deep in thought before she said earnestly, "That is an illegal Lang Zi. We have standards in this game, and we do not condone forcing someone to have an affair."
Despite agreeing with the thief on that point, Miles found it difficult to not say: "So you're okay with people getting mauled by squirrels, whipped half to death and losing every shred of dignity they have, but when it comes to a small argument between partners you draw the line? That doesn't make any sense!" However, he thought better of it because he knew that Kay wouldn't listen to reason.
Once Franziska heard that the Lang Zi didn't count, she breathed a sigh of relief before looking at Larry in a way that said: You better start running because I'm about to kill you.
Three harsh lashes in and Larry was nearly reduced to tears, but he pulled whatever strength he could together and gasped out, "Fine! If I can't have that other Lang Zi then Lang Zi Says: Burn that whip!"
The prosecutor stopped.
Larry regained his breath and stood upright.
All the other competitors wondered why the hell they hadn't thought of that Lang Zi last year. That would have made life so much easier! They all thought, especially Gumshoe who was taken out of the competition prematurely due to one of Franziska's vicious attacks.
"Burn my whip?" The blue haired one repeated slowly.
"I see nothing wrong with that~!" Kay hummed tunelessly. "Well, burn that whip! C'mon Miss. vK, here's a flamethrower to get you started!"
Kay rummaged around back stage for a minute or so before emerging with a flamethrower.
"Kay! Where did you-" But Edgey didn't even bother with the question in the end. After last year, am I really surprised that she has a flamethrower? Despite this, he still didn't think that anyone was safe as long as the flamethrower was in the hands of the young Yatagarasu.
Deciding that a flamethrower isn't the safest thing to casually fling at someone, Kay handed it over with caution. Franziska just stood there, motionless. Those fools expect me to burn my whip? Did they not read my moving story from last year's tournament about why I'm so attached to it? This is an outrage! Whips hold sentimental value!
But whether they held sentimental value or not, the young prosecutor had to complete this Lang Zi or risk being the first one out. And as I am pure perfection, I will NOT allow that to happen! Although... I'm not 100% sure that burning my current whip will be safe...
Laying the coveted whip down on the floor, Franziska aimed the flamethrower at it.
"Wait a minute, isn't that dangerous? We're in a field full of grass, so won't you just end up setting the whole field on fire?" Everyone nodded at Lana's wise words.
"That's not a problem!" Kay beamed as she ran off the stage for a brief moment and reappeared with a giant hose. "This'll put out any fires, should they occur. I'm sure you'll remember this hose, right Mr. Edgeworth? You to Wolfie," Kay winked. Lang smirked at the memory the thief was referring to, while Edgeworth just cringed. That you Kay, for bringing back painful memories, he thought sarcastically.
"Wait!" Lana said again, more urgently. "I really think this could be dangerous so... why don't you just give the whip to me?" The district attorney tried to sound casual but it was obvious that she wanted the whip in her possession.
"Err... sis, after last year do you really think that's the best option?" Ema asked uneasily.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Lana waved her hand at her sister as though to shoo away what she had just said, but she eyed the whip as she did this. "I merely think that giving it to me would be safer than burning it."
"You fool! After last year do you honestly think I'd allow you possession of my whip? Never!" Franziska was resolute in her statement.
Hose poised and at the ready, Franziska activated the weapon she held in her hands and bright orange flames shot out, engulfing her whip.
"Burn, baby burn~!" Kay sang, disregarding her duty as emergency fire stopper and swinging the giant hose around her head like a lasso.
However, after thirty seconds of burning, the whip showed no signs of disintegrating into ash. "Just as I thought," the blue haired one muttered, "then it shouldn't be long now until..."
A huge explosion suddenly engulfed the majority of the field, yet nothing seemed to be burned or damaged. The flames roared higher and higher, the source of the flames was the whip. Everyone stood back and eventually a dark shadow from within the flames became visible. The shadow started to take on some sort of form, it was like a giant four legged beast. A mighty roar erupted from what could only be presumed to be its mouth, and everyone was sent staggering backwards slightly due to the force of it.
"I WILL NEVER BE DESTROYED!" And with that, the beast and the flames burst so that a huge flash of blinding light dispersed rapidly through the field.
Once it was safe to open their eyes, everyone stared at Franziska with those WTF faces we know so well.
"Explain. Now." Edgeworth said firmly.
"I shouldn't have to answer to you, little brother! Don't you know that I am per-"
"Yes, yes you are perfection. Now explain what on earth is up with that whip!" Miles pointed to where the young von Karma's whip lay, completely unscathed.
"I had a court case a while back that involved Kurain Village. While I was there I saw this whip," she explained as she picked her whip up from the ground. "As I was doing them a favour by prosecuting against someone that had stolen something important from their village, they said I could have this whip. But..." Franziska stopped, gathering her thoughts before she continued. "But they told me to be a bit wary of the whip because it contains the soul of a demon."
"So, knowing that this whip was demonic, you accepted it?" Pressed the silver haired one.
"Yes," Franziska said simply. "All my whips get worn out so quickly, especially when I'm on a case with Scruffy over there." She indicated to Gumshoe, who was smiling sheepishly. "When they told me that this whip was virtually indestructible, I simply couldn't refuse. That is all, now let's stop with trivial stories and get on with the competition." And with that, the prosecuting prodigy handed the flamethrower back to Kay and joined the rest of the group.
"Ummm... Okay then. Right, let's see who will have to face the next Lang Zi then~!"
Miles sighed, "Nothing will deter her from this stupid game."
"Heh, I think it's kinda cool. Not even demons from the underworld can put her off!" chuckled Lang who was by Edgeworth's side, keeping a close eye on the old lady who had been all over Miles earlier.
"Okay, here we go~!" Beamed Kay, twirling all over the stage.
The Lang Zi Says Tournament was about to get a whole lot more interesting!
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Alright~! So, thoughts everyone? I hope you're ready for the next chapter, where I will work in some of YOUR suggested Lang Zi's ^_^ Keep your suggestions coming, and don't forget you are more than welcome to leave questions for me and/or the characters for the final chapter~! Please review my lovely readers~! :3
Thank you so much for reading my fic *bows*
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