Title: Linework
Rating: T, with mentions of M-rated themes
Pairing: JJ/Emily
A/N: Thank you so much for the positive reception! I was a little worried, posting an AU that was so distant from the actual Criminal Minds universe, but I'm thrilled that people are willing to give it a shot. Thank you especially to Abi for letting me bounce ideas off of her, and also to ghostwriter6647, IniTiniNini, Wineplease78, Songstress82, mxfan88, Liptony, rmpcmfan, chawkchic, Aelpharose, -Bradford021312, Ali Davis, justjibz, Angelsheart85, and guest for reviewing.
TW: The first 5,000 words or so of this chapter are very lighthearted, but the second half gets dark. Nothing actually happens, but physical abuse, emotional abuse, and sexual assault are all discussed, so trigger warning for those topics.
Linework: Chapter 2
"Show me a man with a tattoo and I'll show you a man with an interesting past." - Jack London
When JJ finally got back to her apartment, it was close to one in the morning. She plugged her phone into its charger by her bedside table and dropped the napkin next to it unceremoniously. Her skin buzzed with anxious electricity as she thought about all the personal information she shared with the tattoo artist. JJ could barely talk to her family about what was happening with Will, but she thought it was okay to dump it all on a stranger?
Stripping off her clothes and tossing them in the hamper, she hopped into the shower to clear her head. As the warm stream of water cascaded down her back, she glanced down at her abdomen, letting her fingertips ghost over the skin. It was bruised in some places, with traces of scratch marks still visible in others... but it was healing. The process was slow, but with every day that passed, the marks Will left on her body were being replaced with herself again.
For a long time, she viewed her own body and Will's markings with such disdain. Her skin hadn't felt like her own in so long... But she was making progress. Every day was a small step, and that's what counted.
It was just past one thirty when she finally returned to her bed and slid underneath her coverlet. She reached for the switch on her lamp, about to turn it off, but paused. Instead, she grabbed her phone and the napkin and quickly punched in the digits.
Hey, it's JJ, she tapped into the text message window. I just wanted to let you know I had a good time tonight. Thanks for chatting with me, and I hope to see you sometime soon.
Hitting the send button with her thumb, she tossed the phone back onto her bedside table and turned the lamp off. JJ yanked her pillow down, hugging it with her body, and fell asleep faster than she had in awhile.
Linework - Linework - Linework
Jennifer Jareau's day passed by relatively uneventfully. She headed to the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Department at her usual six thirty, where she was met with a moderate amount of paperwork. Nothing catastrophic had happened in at least a week, so JJ enjoyed one of the few days where she wasn't obligated to handle a tricky media situation. She generally hated being stuck at her desk, preferring to be closer to the action, but today, she welcomed the slower pace.
About midway through her workday, her phone buzzed with a new text message. When she saw it was from Emily, her heartbeat quickened for a reason she couldn't explain, but it slowed again once she read it. Got it, thanks, the text message said. Had a good time too. JJ wasn't sure was she was expecting, but the nagging feeling that JJ had overshared and annoyed Emily last night returned.
Pushing the thought out of her mind, JJ slid her phone back into her pocket and continued with her paperwork.
It wasn't until a little past nine in the evening when she noticed she had another text message from the tattoo artist. Hesitantly, she opened it.
Hey, I'm hanging out with Penelope and Derek at the Bullpen. Come join us?
JJ stroked the side of her phone as she leaned back in her office chair. It would certainly be nice to see Emily again. She wasn't sure of the reason, but the tattoo artist kept making an appearance in her thoughts throughout the day.
At the same time, she still had some paperwork to finish.
Glancing from her phone, back to her desk, back to her phone again, she made her decision. On my way, she tapped back to Emily and threw the case file back onto the stack.
Linework - Linework - Linework
Upon her arrival, it didn't take long to find Emily and her tattoo artist friends - the three of them were not exactly a quiet bunch. JJ made her way over to their table and spent a couple moments observing the three of them from a few feet away. She had no idea what they were all laughing about, but each of them seemed so happy to be in each other's company. Clearly, the chemistry they had at Body Art Unleashed still existed outside of work hours, and JJ felt a little envious. She got along well with all of her coworkers - JJ was sweet, caring, and supportive, all characteristics that the police officers in Jefferson Parish liked - but they weren't the sort of colleagues that got drinks together after work.
Before she had a chance to snap out of her reverie, Emily glanced up from the table and noticed her. "JJ!" she exclaimed excitedly - a little tipsy, perhaps? - before beckoning her over to the table. A smile spreading over her own face, JJ made her way over to the three of them. Emily had her arm outstretched, and JJ met her sideways hug warmly. The tattoo artist's arms tightened around her waist, and the blonde's heartbeat sped up a little bit.
"Hey, buttercup!" Penelope greeted with the same enthusiasm JJ had seen her exhibit the day before. "You came!" Morgan shot a wide grin her way and pulled back a chair, beckoning her to sit. Thanking him, JJ graciously took the offered seat between Morgan and Emily.
"Yeah, I was having a pretty wild night with my paperwork, but Emily pulled me away somehow..." JJ said with a laugh, glancing over at the brunette. Emily responded by playfully shoving JJ's shoulder, and JJ admired the youthful smirk that seemed permanently etched on her face.
"Ooh, paperwork. Sounds exciting," Morgan said with a chuckle.
"Very. The piles on my desk could be mistaken for Mt. Everest."
"Ohh-kay then, golden-haired ink virgin, you've succeeded in depressing me, so I am going to go grab my best buddies Jose and Cuervo, and they are going to help us fix this situation," Penelope said with a flourish, and she dashed away from the table before JJ could blink.
"Golden-haired...ink virgin?" JJ said with a puzzled expression, and Morgan and Emily exchanged a look before bursting into laughter.
"You'll get used to her, babe," Emily assured her.
"Nicknames are her specialty," Morgan added. "They're always sexual, my favorite was that night last month when she called Emily a ha-"
"That story, Derek," Emily interrupted pointedly, "does not need to be shared at this time. Or ever, really."
JJ turned to Morgan, who raised an eyebrow at her conspiratorially. I'll tell you later, he mouthed. JJ winked back, and Emily rolled her eyes.
"I hate you guys," she muttered.
Emily's hand drifted to the back of JJ's chair, which didn't go unnoticed by JJ - but she certainly didn't mind. "I'm really glad you could join us," the dark haired tattoo artist said sincerely, and JJ smiled back, admiring the way that one side of the brunette's lips lifted lopsidedly when her lips parted.
"Me too. I was bored as hell, thanks for letting me tag along," JJ responded.
"The more, the merrier!" Penelope's voice sang out from behind her, and a couple tequila shots dropped in front of JJ before Pen took her own seat again.
"Oh, you are not playing around, are you?" JJ questioned with a laugh.
"Welcome to the BAU life, darlin'," Emily said, and when Penelope clinked her shot glass to JJ's, both women downed the tequila.
Over the course of the next few rounds, the group drifted from the table (where many inappropriate conversations took place that JJ couldn't quite follow, but enjoyed nonetheless), to the pool table (where Morgan not-so-subtly found himself checking out Penelope and JJ hopefully-more-subtly found herself observing the brunette a little more than was appropriate for a new friend), to the dart boards (where JJ played well but eventually let Derek win to avoid showing them all up), back to the table once again.
"Ooh! Ooh! But imagine her with a geometric neck tattoo!" Penelope said enthusiastically, scooting her chair closer to JJ and examining her neck with an intensity that left JJ in confused laughter.
"Emily? What is she doing?" JJ asked, keeping her head perfectly still as Penelope started scribbling on her napkin with a pen.
"Did you miss the debate they had about half an hour ago? The one about which type of neck tattoo would look best on you?" Emily replied with a giggle.
"A neck tattoo?! Yeah, I missed that one," JJ said, shaking her head.
"Don't move!" ordered Morgan and Penelope simultaneously, and JJ stilled her head again with an exasperated smile.
Penelope finished scribbling and shoved her napkin in front of Morgan's face. "See? See? Look at that!"
Derek took the napkin from her and studied it for a few moments before tossing it back onto the table. "It's not bad, but Baby Girl, look at her jaw line. JJ, can you turn your head a li- yeah, perfect, hold it there. See, if you take a tribal approach-"
Garcia rolled her eyes. "Not every tattoo needs to be tribal, Derek-"
"Oh, but it sure doesn't hurt," Morgan said with exaggerated swagger, rolling up the short sleeves of his t-shirt to expose his muscular, tattooed biceps in full. "See, there are centuries of culture, centuries of history decorating these guns of mine-"
"Put the sleeves back down, Derek, no one caaaares," Emily drawled back, and Morgan obliged, straightening out his shirt again with a grin.
"Wait, okay, slow down for the - what did you call me again? 'Ink Virgin'?" JJ interrupted, her voice loud, free, and a little tequila-laced. She could feel Emily's eyes on her, and she glanced back at the brunette, shooting her a little smile before turning back to Morgan. "You guys have been throwing out terms like 'tribal' all night, which I'm assuming are types of tattoos."
"Oh, Baby Girl, tribal was the only type of tattooing back in the day-"
"Derek, I swear to God, if I had a nickel every time you sounded like a giant douchebag-"
"Well, you don't, Prentiss, otherwise you could buy out the BAU and make me shut up," Morgan shot back sassily. "But, since that hasn't happened yet..." He turned back to the blonde. "Tribal, Black and Grey, New School, American Traditional, Japanese Traditional, Watercolor, Photorealism - if you can think of it, there's probably a tattoo style based on it."
JJ nodded, recognizing the terms from the rapid, seemingly nonsensical conversations that had taken place over the past hour and a half. "So, the tattoos you have - they're all tribal?"
"Tribal to the bone, baby," Morgan confirmed. "Traditional Samoan artwork, if you want to get exact. The word 'tattoo' comes from the Samoan 'tatau.' You know any of the history?"
JJ shook her head, and Morgan smiled, a fire flaring up in his eyes as he began talking. He passionately told her about the significance of tattooing in ancient Samoan culture - how tattooing was a craft passed from father to son, how getting tattooed was painful and dangerous but served as a rite of passage signifying a boy's passage into manhood, how unfinished tattoos were considered a mark of shame - and the blonde listened with rapt attention. JJ was aware that tattooing practices held varying levels of importance in different cultures, but she had no idea of the severity it could hold.
Presumably, Penelope and Emily knew all about it, and they were both suddenly very quiet and focused on their phones. JJ tried to catch the dark-haired woman's eye, but she was staring intently at her phone screen with a slight frown on her face. A small feeling of worry passed through JJ, but she turned her attention back to Derek.
"And that's why I'm attached to this style of artwork. I consider it an honor to carry that remembrance. The European missionaries tried to forbid the Samoans from continuing their tattooing practices, calling them barbaric and savage and evil, but the Samoans refused to let it die," Derek explained, finishing up his little speech. He moved his drink aside and placed his forearms on the table, offering JJ a better view of his arms. The blonde scooted closer and peered intently at the ink. Now knowing some basics about the significance, his tattoos felt a lot more familiar to her eye than they did before.
JJ let her eyes sweep over the older man's artwork, happy to appreciate it up close. "They're beautiful. I really like how th-"
"Dammit, Pen!" Emily exclaimed, slamming her phone down on the table. JJ's eyes darted to Penelope, who was giggling profusely with a gleeful expression on her face. "I will fucking strangle you, I swear to God..."
Intrigued at the reason for Emily's sudden frustration, the blonde glanced over at the tattoo artist's phone, and she couldn't keep a giggle from escaping her.
"Online Scrabble? That's what you're angry about?" JJ said, still giggling.
"Pen's just getting lucky, I swear to fucking God..." Emily shot Garcia a death stare. "But I will get back at you if it's the last thing I do..."
JJ watched as Emily flicked four tiles onto the letter panel. Her thumb hovered above the "Play!" button, and JJ burst out with a loud, "No!"
Emily turned to the blonde inquisitively. "No, see, 'lyre' has an 'r', and the 'l' is over a double letter tile-"
"That's the best you've got? Seriously?" JJ questioned haughtily, her tipsiness amplifying the sass she was feeling.
"It's a good word!" Emily protested. "Look, it'll get fifteen points-"
Before she could finish her sentence, the blonde had snatched the phone out of her hands, and she swiftly swiped "pyrrhic" onto the scoreboard. She hit send, and explained to Emily how she had not only gotten the 'c' over the double letter tile, but the 'p' was over the triple word tile.
"God dammit!" Penelope erupted from the other side of the table, and JJ and Emily both smirked.
Penelope shot back a "villify", which JJ quickly defeated with a "quixotry." Riled up, Pen parried with a "hamper," but JJ attacked with a "syzygy."
"That is not a word!" the bright-haired woman shrieked from across the table.
"Yes, yes it is," JJ replied snidely, laughing at Penelope's flustered appearance.
"This is witchcraft! Witchcraft, I tell you!" Pen exclaimed. "Emily, that cute petite blonde of yours isn't allowed back here, you hear me?!"
JJ giggled and turned to Emily, but she noticed how the tattoo artist's cheeks flushed red before she laughed it off. The blonde tried to meet the older woman's eyes, but Emily awkwardly fiddled with her empty beer bottle for a few seconds.
"So, you're really good at this, yeah?" Emily said to JJ, her cheeks twitching in a warm smile as the awkwardness passed and she met the blonde's eyes again.
"I'm not horrible at it, I guess," JJ said with a shrug.
"Syzygy, my ass..." Penelope grumbled. "You're almost as bad as Reid."
Morgan and Emily both let out deep laughs, and JJ glanced up, confused. "Who is Reid?"
"Spencer Reid," Emily clarified, looking at the JJ. When the blonde's face remained blank, the smile dropped off Emily's face. "Oh my God, you really are an ink virgin..."
"Okay, well, pop my cherry, Emily," JJ replied. Oh, thank Jesus Christ we're at a bar and I can blame this on the alcohol. Get ahold of yourself, Jennifer, she thought as the rest of the table started laughing again.
"Spencer Reid," Emily said more forcefully. "Owner of Boy Genius Tattoos and Piercings, a friend of ours, and probably the most famous New School tattooer in the States. New School fanatics fly in from across the country to get inked by him."
"New School tattoos?" JJ immediately asked. She had gotten over being embarrassed about her lack of knowledge several drinks ago.
"Pretty much the opposite of tribal," Garcia told her, grinning triumphantly at Morgan, who just narrowed her eyes back at her. Peeling off her sweater, Penelope scooted closer to JJ and presented her left upper arm.
"Most of my ink is New School, but this is one of the ones Spence did," Penelope told her, running her fingers over her shoulder and bicep. A big, colorful, cartoon-like octopus adorned her upper arm, and it was eating - what was that? Lines of computer coding?
"New School is a much more recent style, originating in the 70's or so," Garcia continued, smiling as she looked lovingly at her skin. "The outlining is thick, the colors are bright... It's all about being bold, and modern, and just... filled with energy!"
"So pretty much the tattoo style equivalent of you?" remarked JJ, and both Emily and Morgan smiled.
"I'd like to think so," Garcia said with a bright grin before turning her attention back to the tattoo. "Anyway, this is Spence's work, and while it's impossible to pick a favorite tattoo, this is the one I'd pick if I had to."
JJ peered closer and hesitantly ran a fingertip down Garcia's skin. "This is incredible," she murmured. "It just looks so three dimensional... I had no idea you could even do that with a tattoo!"
"Well, most people can't," Garcia told her. "Get close? Sure, but no one can replicate Spencer Reid's work. But that's because tattoo artists work with their hands and eyes, and Spence works with algorithms."
"...Algorithms...?"
"Oh yes, you heard me right. This guy's a genius - a real one, hence his shop being named Boy Genius - and he can create craziness you couldn't even dream of with that mathematical head of his. He created algorithms and equations that help him design tattoos with depth and brightness and three-dimensionality that no one else on this planet has been able to top."
"Wow, that's... incredible," JJ said with disbelief. "It really looks like the octopus could walk right off of your arm right now... Wait, okay, but what is it eating? Is that computer coding?"
Penelope's face broke into a wider grin, if such a thing was even possible, and she glanced at Morgan and Emily before continuing. "Oh yes! Lines upon lines upon lines of glorious, fabulous, incredibly sexy coding. Inking is my latest love, but coding - oh boy, she's been the one true love of my life for a very long time."
"That's awesome! Coding is quite the art form, yeah?"
Pen's grin turned more mischievous. "Yes... Oh yes..."
JJ sat back, having accepted that this crazy bunch had thousands of stories she had no idea about.
"Okay. I'll ask. What's the story behind this particular bit of coding," JJ stated more than asked.
"Well! If you insist," Garcia responded enthusiastically. "This chunk of coding was the start of the script I wrote that put me on an FBI watch list."
The blonde rolled her eyes. "You're kidding."
"No! No, I'm not!" Penelope replied, indignant at JJ's doubt. "You're in law enforcement, aren't you? Look up the FBI's watch list for potential cyber terrorists! I'm on that list and I earned my place!"
"I work for a tiny Louisiana sheriff's office, Penelope, not the FBI," JJ said with a laugh.
"Well, just hack into the FBI's database and look for yourself! Oh wait, you can't do that," Penelope said smugly. "Okay, well, you want proof? I'll hack into your email. I'll hack into all your files! Here, I have my laptop, I can do it r-"
"Don't," Emily ordered, reaching across the table to grab Garcia's hand. "No hacking into my friends's files, Pen. We've talked about this."
"But Emily," Penelope whined, her pout resembling a five year old's. "JJ doesn't believe that I'm on the FBI's watch list."
"It's proclamations like that, sweetheart, that make airport security a bitch to get through with you," Emily said, patting her hand lovingly.
Emily and Penelope continued to bicker, with Derek chiming in now and again, and JJ sat back in her seat, enjoying the display. Her cheeks burned from smiling so much, a feeling she hadn't experienced in a long time. She felt... good. Happy. Alive.
After another forty-five minutes of playful banter, hard-to-follow stories, and the three tattoo artists explaining the history behind various tattoo styles to the 'virgin,' the four of them were ready to call it a night.
Filing out of the bar, the group spent a couple more minutes chatting outside in the soft New Orleans air before parting ways.
Derek gave JJ a smile and a fist-bump, and Garcia gave her a hug so tight that the blonde stopped breathing for a moment. JJ returned the gestures with equal warmth, grateful that they had accepted her with open arms and knowing she would find herself laughing over their antics for days. Finally, Derek and Garcia had ambled away, and just JJ and Emily were left outside the bar.
Emily shifted back from one foot to the other with timidness JJ had never seen from the tattoo artist before. She pushed a lock of blue-streaked-brown hair back behind her ear and looked at the blonde.
"Thank you for hanging out with us tonight," Emily said, her voice uncharacteristically soft. "Those two take a little getting used to - all three of us, actually - but they adore you. And it was really fun getting to spend some time with you."
JJ beamed back at the older woman before hugging her. Emily wrapped her arms around the blonde in response, and they held each other close for a few long moments. "I had a great time, Em," JJ said sincerely, enjoying the feeling of Emily's body wrapped around hers. "Thank you so much."
Emily didn't respond verbally, instead pulling her a little tighter and letting her eyelids flutter shut. JJ's hair was so soft against her cheek, and knowing that the previously icy blonde had felt comfortable enough to let loose with the BAU artists warmed something deep inside of her. She let her hand run lightly down the smaller woman's back before finally letting go.
"I'm gonna start on your sketch soon, y'know," Emily told her with a lopsided grin. "So you just let me know when you're ready to get to work, okay?"
"I'm ready to roll whenever you are," JJ said with a smile. She turned to leave, but then paused, facing Emily again. "Oh, and Em?"
Emily looked back at her. "Yeah?"
"My online scrabble username is 'cheetobreath.' Add me."
Linework - Linework - Linework
JJ spent the next few days texting the tattoo artist sporadically and engaging in an ongoing game of online scrabble. It came as no surprise that JJ crushed her every time, but they both enjoyed the experience and the accompanying taunts. Emily doubted the legitimacy of half the words JJ played, but slowly, she found her own gameplay improving.
Once, JJ stopped by the BAU on her way home from work, and she was delighted that the three artists welcomed her warmly. The three of them had seemed to genuinely like her at the bar, but JJ had wondered if their friendliness was just a result of alcohol consumption; relief washed over the blonde when she saw that wasn't true.
The shop's closing time was approaching rapidly, and this time, Morgan was the only one working in the back.
After a couple moments of quiet observation, JJ leaned over to Emily and whispered into her ear, "That's American traditional, right?"
Emily turned to her, eyes and smile sparkling, and nodded proudly. "Look at you, Jayj!" JJ's stomach flipped a little at the use of her nickname again; she could get used to that.
Once Morgan's client was finished up, the artists left the shop open for a half-hour longer, lost in conversation and playful banter with JJ.
"Are you free on Saturday, cutie?" Penelope asked her as the four of them parted ways.
"I should be," JJ replied.
"Good. Keep it that way, we're hitting up that karaoke bar on Magazine St. and you're coming!"
JJ laughed at Penelope's bossy tone, and Emily shook her head. "Looks like you don't have a choice, darlin'."
"Wouldn't dream of saying no," the blonde told Emily. "There is no way I'd pass up the opportunity to see Emily Prentiss, Goddess of Linework letting it loose on stage..."
"Oh, this is such a bad idea," the dark-haired artist called out, and with one last shared laugh, they all parted paths.
Linework - Linework - Linework
At 11pm the next day, JJ was about to slide into bed and go to sleep when she heard her phone ping. Swiping open the screen, she saw Emily had played a move in their scrabble game. 'COFFEE,' the tiles read.
JJ quickly flicked 'paradox' onto the board, chuckling smugly as the 'x' fell onto the triple letter tile, and opened her text message conversation with Emily a couple seconds after.
Hey, good job with 'coffee'! she typed into the screen. I didn't know you knew any two syllable words!
Only a few seconds passed before Emily's reply popped up. Ha, ha, you're hilarious, the message read. But I'll have you know, I was cleverly and charmingly asking you if you wanted to grab coffee. I have a sketch done.
JJ smiled down at her phone screen. The older woman was definitely charming. Coffee? At 11pm?
Of course, came Emily's quick response. Don't tell me you're one of those assholes who refuses to drink coffee after 4pm.
I'm more of a tea drinker once the sun has set, it's true, JJ typed back. There are so many great blends. I could make a tea drinker out of anyone - even you, Prentiss.
Impossible. But fine. Would you care to join me while I drink a delicious caffeinated beverage, and you can sit across the table, judge my choice, and reflect on how great life is as an herbal-obsessed yogi?
The female form of 'yogi' is 'yogini,' by the way, JJ typed. But I'd love to... How did you know I do yoga?
Read over your past few texts to me, darling. It's pretty obvious you're one of them.
A couple seconds later, Emily sent another text. Is the coffee and tea house on the corner of Carrollton and Veterans okay?
Perfect, JJ replied. On my way.
Linework - Linework - Linework
When JJ arrived, the coffee shop was almost empty except for Emily in one corner and a couple off on the opposite wall. She ordered a chai, watching the tattoo artist adding some lines here and there in her large sketch book, and smiled. Emily's hair was pulled back in its typical messy ponytail, the small blue streak making the already beautiful woman that much more striking, and a frayed Guns N' Roses shirt hung loosely from her torso. Her eye caught on the woman's right upper arm, and though she didn't have a good vantage point, she admired what appeared to be a snake wrapping up from just above her elbow, onto her shoulder, and disappearing under her shirt.
"Ma'am?" the barista prompted, and JJ turned back around and took the chai from him. "Thank you," she said with a nod and then headed towards Emily's corner.
"Hey, Em," the blonde greeted as she sat down on the other side of the small table. The brunette's eyes twinkled as they met hers; JJ loved that.
"Hey yourself," the brunette replied and beckoned towards the tea. "Special Yogini Blend of Herbs and Boring Uncaffeination?"
"Just a chai, actually. But good guess."
JJ and Emily chatted for a little bit, catching up on the past day. Mostly, Emily was just trying to figure out if JJ had a Dictionary of Strange Words That Will Never Be Useful in Daily Conversation installed in her head, and JJ asked Emily about Penelope's stories from the previous week.
"Seriously, though," JJ had questioned, determined to get a straight answer. "She isn't actually on a watch list, is she?"
Emily laughed, and JJ knew she would be no closer to uncovering the truth. "The less you look into it, the better off you'll be, dear."
"Is being cryptic a requirement to get your tattooing license?" JJ asked with an eyebrow raise.
"Yes. Yes it is. But, speaking of tattoos..." Emily flipped open the large sketchpad on the table and turned it upside down for JJ to take.
JJ did, and as her eyes swept over the sketch, her lips parted in disbelief.
The piece was absolutely gorgeous. Emily had drawn a couple marks of body outlining around the edges to indicate the tattoo's scale and placement relative to her torso, and as she took in the piece, she understood why Emily's client had said no one in town could do better linework than she did. Each detail JJ mentioned over a week ago, Emily had remembered and included in the sketch with astonishing grace.
She first drew her attention to the bottom, near where Emily had indicated her hipbone would be, and admired the gorgeous way that the lower half of the tree trunk seamlessly morphed into chains, and then into ropes, frayed and free at the end. The lines were deliberate, but fleetingly elegant in their execution. The frayed ends of the rope spilled effortlessly down where the hipbone would be and faded into nothingness. Emily had chosen a variety of brown tones - JJ couldn't help but think of the artist's eyes for a moment - and her impeccable shading helped convey the motion of the work.
Then, she traced the trunk upwards, where it splayed out in lively green foliage, where the most beautifully drawn blackbird she had ever seen stood vigilantly in the nook of the branches. It was soft, and tenderly shaded, and almost haunted, but the linework conveyed an underlying strength JJ didn't know was possible to create with a pen. Looking into the blackbird's eyes, she felt like she was looking into herself.
JJ's eyes were starting to flood with tears as she traced the tree branches up to beneath the drawn body's breast and along the top of the rib cage. Woven into the delicate branches were the phases of the moon, a careful adornment and elegant contrast to the soft foliage of the tree branches, and JJ brought her finger to the paper, tracing the progression of the moon. The lines held a sort of reverence in them.
Finally, her eye drifted to the bird's egg and nest to the bottom right of the blackbird. One small tear spilled over her bottom eyelid as she brought her finger to the egg. The nest was soft, warm, and safe, and the egg was delicately shaded with light green tones.
Emily had been watching JJ silently, letting her have a little privacy to observe the sketch, but trying to read the blonde's body movements with rapt attention. She noted the initial shock of seeing the detail of the sketch, the flicker of awe as JJ saw her mind's creation carved into paper, and the moment when her gorgeous blue eyes began to water up.
She glanced down at the sketch, watching the way JJ's finger tenderly - and somberly, perhaps? - traced over the little egg and nest.
"Hey," Emily said softly, coaxing JJ out of her reverie and causing the blonde to look up at her. JJ quickly blinked the tears out of her eyes, and Emily saw the way the blonde put her mask back on. "Is it okay? The sketch?"
JJ let out a breath before smiling, though her eyes still seemed distant. "It's... it's perfect, Em. I can't put my thoughts into words. But it's incredible. Exactly what I had hoped for."
Emily nodded, happy that her work had met JJ's criteria, but concern still stuck in the pit of her stomach. "What changes do you want me to make? It's still a sketch, so we can take as much time as you'd like to finalize everything."
The blonde swept her eyes over the piece a couple times before bringing her finger back to the egg and tapping it. "Just this. Can you make it light pink? I should've specified."
"Yes, of course," Emily said with a nod, and reached into her bag for her eraser and set of colored pencils. Less than a minute later, Emily had erased the green and re-shaded the egg with a delicate pink, and JJ nodded her approval.
"This is perfect. This is everything I was hoping for."
Emily smiled at her, but JJ's eyes had dropped back down to the table. When the blonde was finished observing the sketch one last time, Emily closed up the sketchpad and put it safely back into her bag. She observed the younger woman, noting how her walls were back up.
"Jayj?" Emily tested, and the blonde's eyes met hers. "You definitely don't have to if you don't want to. But are you still willing to swap stories? One piece of your sketch for one tattoo of mine?"
JJ wiped her eye again once more before nodding in confirmation.
"You don't need to feel pressured to. I understand better than most how personal a tattoo's story can be."
"It's okay, Em," JJ assured her. "I trust you. I'd trust you with the whole story, I just... I enjoy our new friendship, and I don't want to dump everything on you. That's not fair to you."
"Jennifer," Emily said and touched her hand. Her full first name felt comfortable coming from her lips. "I told you, I'm your ink therapist. There's nothing you could tell me that is too overwhelming for me to hear."
JJ studied the artist's chocolate brown eyes for several moments before accepting Emily's sincerity. "Which part of the sketch do you want to know about?"
Emily took a sip of her coffee before speaking. "The bird's egg."
The blonde nodded before picking up her own beverage. She knew she visibly lost it a little bit with that part. "The bird's egg... Yeah, okay." JJ took another sip before putting her tea back on the table. "The egg represents a lot of things. New birth, future potential, but most importantly, it represents my son."
The tattoo artist was caught by surprise. "I didn't know you had a son, JJ."
JJ laughed mirthlessly with a shake of her head. "I don't, Em."
Emily examined the other woman carefully, trying to figure out what JJ was telling her. "Sweetheart, I don't understand..."
"I was pregnant," JJ spilled out, her features contorting in pain. The tears she had managed to blink away came back in full force, and JJ couldn't stop them from trailing down her cheeks. She wasn't even sure she wanted to.
The dark-haired woman breathed out sharply, feeling like the wind got knocked out of her.
'I..." JJ continued, taking another breath and searching for something other than Emily's face to focus on. She was aware they were still in public; they were the only patrons in the coffee house at the moment, but this still wasn't an acceptable environment to fall apart in. "I was with him for three years, I told you that, right?"
Emily nodded carefully. "You did."
"It wasn't easy. We were okay for six months - that's when I fell for him, but after that?" JJ shook her head. "He's a detective. Not with the Jefferson Parish Sheriff's Office, but in the parish over. And Will... his father - his father died during Hurricane Katrina, and everyone had assumed that was the reason, but Will got the idea that it was something deeper. His father was a detective too, see, and there was an unsolved case Will thought was related. And he just... became obsessed with it. And everything changed. He started taking all of his anger out on me. He wasn't careful, especially when he was drunk, and he didn't bother hitting me where others wouldn't see. I tried to tell my friends, my family, everyone that it was just clumsiness, but everyone's heard that excuse, y'know? You can get away with it the first time, but you can't do it for two and a half years."
Emily kept her hand firmly on JJ's, and the blonde squeezed the artist's hand like a lifeline. She had to get it out now, or she wouldn't be able to continue.
"My friends were supportive at first, but there's only so long they can be there for you. They urged me to get out of the relationship, but I couldn't. I refused. I defended him, and eventually, they distanced themselves. I don't blame them for a second. I had to distance myself from who I became, too."
"It wasn't your fault," Emily told her adamantly. "None of this. You hear me? Do not blame yourself."
JJ shook her head sadly. "Maybe not, but I could have made different choices. I wish I had been able to escape from him for my family, or for my friends, or for myself. But I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to do it."
"Sweetheart-"
"I got pregnant, Em," JJ explained, nearly choking on the words as they came out of her. "I stopped sleeping with Will, voluntarily at least. But when he was drunk... it didn't matter. I didn't matter. He'd just force me down onto the bed, and tell me to deal it. 'This is what women are for, Jen,' he'd yell."
At this point, Emily's own eyes began tearing up. She knew what that felt like more than JJ knew. And she wished she had some way, any way, to take this pain away from her.
"Things happen," JJ choked out with a humorless laugh. "One day, after a couple weeks of feeling nauseous and dizzy and missing a period, I took a pregnancy test. Five, actually. And that's when I found out."
The blonde pulled her hand away from Emily's, instead wrapping them around her tea. "I cried when I found out. I cried for days. But then I started to feel happy, y'know? I've always wanted kids. I've dreamed of being a mother for awhile. And soon, I'd have a little baby. His name was going to be Henry. And I wouldn't let Will be the father - I never told him about the pregnancy, and I was planning my escape." Her eyes dropped again. "But I... I didn't do it in time."
"I'm so, so, sorry..."
JJ looked off into the distance again. "When I found myself at the bottom of his staircase, I knew what had happened. I knew I lost him. The visit to the hospital only confirmed what I had already felt." Taking a few deep breaths to steady herself again, she ran her thumb quickly under both of her eyelids to wipe away the residual tears. "And that's when I left him. If I had gotten myself to do it earlier, he wouldn't have - I'd still have a little b-..." Another deep breath. "I lost him. And I will never get him back. But I love him, even if I can't meet him, and the bird's egg is a testament to the life he never got. And it reminds me I have to push myself to keep moving forward anyway. Henry will never be born, but the future is still ahead of me. And I refuse to make the same mistakes. The mistakes that cost me my son."
Emily let her eyes flutter closed, trying to swallow the tears back down. She had no right to cry - JJ was sharing her trauma with her, what right did she have to be losing control of her own emotions? - but when she opened her eyes again, she looked at JJ with a new kind of love. JJ saw it, too. There was pity swirling around in Emily's dark brown eyes, but more importantly, there was acceptance. There was support. And there was admiration, a sense of awe that JJ had gone through those three years and made it out the other side.
JJ's breathing had steadied, and her voice no longer wavered. She looked into Emily's eyes firmly. "The shade of pink I asked you to color the egg? That would have been his birthstone color."
Emily let a long, shaky breath out.
"Did I share too much?"
"No, not at all," Emily told her firmly. "Honestly, I'm honored you shared this with me. You've been through hell and back, Jayj, and however hard I wish you haven't gone through as much as you have, the fact that you survived all of this is nothing short of incredible. JJ, look at me, please." The blonde raised her eyes and met her own. "You are incredible. You have a strength that very few people possess, and I'm truly honored that I get to call you my friend."
JJ blinked back tears. "Yeah, well, you have to learn better scrabble words from someone, now don't you?" she said with a slightly choked laugh, trying to lighten the mood a little bit. Emily beamed a smile back at her. "But really, Em. Thank you. I know we haven't known each other for very long, but I hope you know just how much I appreciate you. Both for listening to me - for helping me process my own emotions - but for not letting it tarnish the way you look at me. You treat me like a normal friend. The people in my life who know tend to walk on eggshells around me. Like I'm this horrible ghost of a person because I spent three years with Will. You? You laugh with me, you drink with me, you banter with me. Thank you for that."
"I'm just thrilled you put up with my antics," Emily said with a laugh. "Words can't express how much I enjoy having you around. And I applaud you for managing not to punch me and Derek and Pen all in the face."
"There's nothing to 'put up with,' you three are the best," JJ told her, smiling as she thought of the artists together. "Maybe I should drop this whole media liaison thing and learn how to tattoo..."
"If you ever want to learn, JJ, you're welcome to be my apprentice," Emily replied. "Pen's been doing this for a few years and is basically on her own now. Which means Derek and I have no one to train."
"I'll keep that in mind," JJ told her jokingly. "But okay... Is it my turn to ask you about one of your tattoos?"
"I believe it is," Emily said with a grin. "Any one you want. Sorry they're not all visible."
"It's okay, I think the shop owner will kick us out if I ask you to strip down," JJ teased. Emily's cheeks blushed a little bit. "Let's see... The snake on your upper arm. Can I look at it?"
Emily nodded and scooted her chair from across the table to the spot adjacent to JJ. She dropped her shirt strap and bra strap - JJ tried not to linger too long on the bare expanse of skin from her shoulder to the nape of her neck - and let JJ observe as much of the tattoo as she could.
JJ observed the tattoo, recognizing that the snake looked kind of New School, very similar to Penelope's but a little less boisterous and cartoonish. The snake head began right above her elbow, its expression sassy and bold. A cigarette hung lazily from the snake's toothy mouth, and a military-style dark blue beret sat on its head, adorned with a patch on the front that read "defensor fortis." The snake wrapped around her arm several times before trailing along the underside of her collarbone. The tail of the snake ended near Emily's sternum, resting on the inside of her breast, and coiled around a small dagger.
"I love it. New Age, right?" JJ asked.
"Nailin' it, blondie," Emily said with a grin. "Alright, anyway: the story. I don't think I've told you that I spent a little time in the military, have I?"
"No," JJ replied with surprise. "How long were you in it for? I had no idea."
"Four years in the United States Air Force. One contract," she explained. "It was never something I wanted as a career, but I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life before I began tattooing. I come from a very political family, so really, I wanted to escape, do something that mattered for a little bit, and figure out my own path after."
Emily brought her hand up to her arm and tapped the head of the snake. "'Defensor fortis' means 'defender of the force.' That's the Security Forces motto. Was a Senior Airman by the time my contract finished and I decided to get out."
"That's great - Security Forces, sounds pretty exciting. Did you deploy?"
Emily nodded. "Just one deployment. Iraq, during the Gulf War. And I thought SF would be exciting, which is why I signed up for it, but really, it's a pretty boring job when you're stateside. I mean, SF exists to keep the base guarded, but who in their right mind would try to attack a fortified Air Force Base?"
JJ chuckled, enjoying the sass in the tattoo artist's voice. "Guess I've never thought about it that way."
"Deployments are different, of course - tons of crazy shit happens overseas - but the work I did stateside is a big reason I drew up this snake the way I did." Emily rotated her arm back and forth, tracing the spiral of the snake up her arm. "We had this thing that we called the 99% to 1% rule. You spend 99% of your time coiled and ready to strike while absolutely nothing is going on. And you do it for that 1% of the time when something bad happens, and you are desperately needed."
"May I?" JJ asked, hovering her hand over Emily's arm, and when Emily nodded her consent, the younger woman traced her thumb tenderly down the artwork on her arm. Emily held her breath, subconsciously trying to distract herself from the soft scent of the blonde's shampoo.
"The beret, that's part of the Security Forces uniform?"
Emily nodded. "Many different specialty units across the branches wear similar berets, but this one is ours."
"And the cigarette? What's the significance there?" JJ asked curiously.
Emily smiled and shrugged, the piece shifting slightly with her movement. "There isn't any. I just thought the cigarette looked cool."
JJ sat back in her seat, satisfied. Emily pulled her strap back up, assuming story time was over, but the blonde turned her attention back to the tattoo.
"And the dagger? Is that decoration too?"
Emily froze. She purposely hadn't mentioned it, and she wasn't expecting JJ to ask about it on her own. She studied JJ's eyes carefully, and JJ could tell she had stumbled into darker territory.
"I'm - I'm sorry, you don't have to-"
"No, no, it's okay," Emily said. "I was just startled. You've shared much more than this with me, and I trust you. I trust you a lot."
JJ nodded slowly, still feeling guilty that she had asked about something Emily hadn't offered up. "I hope you don't feel obligated to tell me. Just because I've spilled my guts to you - that doesn't mean you need to do the same."
"I know. But I'm willing to share the more personal ones, I just... I don't want to dampen your mood anymore than it already is."
"I'm okay," the blonde insisted quietly, offering the older woman a supportive smile. "I'd like to hear, if you're willing."
Emily played with the handle of her coffee mug; it was her turn for contemplation - to find the words to explain a piece of herself. Instead of leading with words, she dropped her shirt strap again and leaned closer to the blonde.
"You see this?" she asked JJ, looking into her eyes as her finger circled around the tiny dagger on her chest. "Look carefully." JJ peered a bit closer, trying to keep her face a respectful distance from the woman's chest, but could make out some distortion in the dagger.
"The image isn't clear," the blonde offered, not seeing anything else wrong with it. "It looks less sharp than the rest of it."
Emily nodded. "Run your finger over it."
Timidly, JJ reached forward with her hand, and with a coaxing nod from Emily, she ran her finger over the dagger.
"It's bumpy," she remarked. "This is scar tissue, isn't it?"
"Bingo," replied Emily sadly, and she tried her best to maintain eye contact with the blonde, though it was hard to. She took a couple breaths, wondering where to start. "When I deployed to Iraq, it was a hard time to be a woman in the military. Don't get me wrong, it's still hard today, but it was worse then. Especially in a field like Security Forces, where all the guys want to prove how 'masculine' they are. Having a woman do a hands-on job like that makes a lot of guys uncomfortable."
JJ nodded, thinking of the gender relations she had witnessed at her own workplace. The female detectives around her had to work twice as hard as the men, yet very rarely had their own achievements attributed to themselves.
"My direct supervisor's name was Doyle. Staff Sergeant Doyle. He didn't seem to be too bad at first, but it was clear how he viewed women. Allowing women into the military was the government's biggest mistake, if you asked him, and he hated the women in his troops. All of his subordinates knew Doyle was mixed up in some bad shit - drugs, most likely - but somehow, OSI never investigated him."
The blonde nodded sadly. In the midst of her own emotions, she had noticed a little glint appear in Em's eyes when she mentioned Will's sexual abuse, and she could sense where this was going.
"Doyle hated me less, though. Hit on me all the time - it made me uncomfortable, but I was just happy he wasn't treating me as badly as he treated the other women." Emily sighed again and rubbed her neck with her hand. "Anyway, long story short, deployments get lonely. There was this girl, Senior Airman Clemmons - Beth, she was the same rank as me - and, I don't know, we flirted a lot and one thing led to another, and we started seeing each other."
Emily studied JJ's face carefully; JJ didn't strike her as the unaccepting type, but still, they were in southern Louisiana. Nothing changed about the blonde's face, so Emily continued, a little relieved. Emily had no way of knowing that JJ's heart quickened a bit or that JJ gulped self-consciously when Emily's eyes finally left hers.
"Anyway, it was dumb, and it was unprofessional, but Beth and I found comfort in each other. Which made the first half of the deployment a little less shitty."
The tattoo artist glanced around the coffee shop again. She was glad they were the only two occupying the quiet space. "I guess we weren't very discreet, because Doyle found out, and he wasn't happy. He though I was his or something, and the fact that I don't fuck men bruised his ego. So he decided to take it out on me one night. Most of our unit was on patrol, so when he called me into his makeshift office, there was no one to help."
"I'm sorry," JJ whispered, reaching out across the table like Emily had earlier, but Emily kept talking, her voice monotone.
"He stripped my uniform off, and I was able to grab my Bowie knife from my belt just in time. But his combat training had surpassed mine, and when I tried to bring it up to his body, he twisted my wrist and pushed down. He didn't push hard, but the tip of the blade cut me pretty bad, and that's how I got the scar. Doyle did what he did and left."
A few moments of silence passed before JJ spoke. "Was he punished for what he did? Did you tell anyone?"
Emily nodded, and JJ sighed out a little bit in relief. "It was tough, but I reported Doyle to the officer in command, First Lieutenant Hotchner. Hotch - that's what he let us call him, which annoyed Captain Strauss, his own boss. It was a tough battle, because Staff Sergeant Doyle was considered the 'prodigy' of Strauss, but eventually, Hotch got it taken up the chain of command."
JJ nodded, but when Emily's eyes remained distant, she sensed there was more.
"I hope you understand that overall, I loved my time in the military. I met some of the most incredible people in the world serving, and I have an enormous respect for anyone who makes the choice to enter. But sometimes things slip through the cracks, and Doyle was one of them. When they transferred him from one set of hands to the other, he escaped, and as far as I know, no one has found him since."
The blonde's blood ran cold, and she looked into Emily's eyes, seeing a despair that was masked with layers and layers of confidence.
"I doubt he'll come after me. Forensics have gotten better, and if someone takes me out, Doyle is the first person law enforcement will expect. Plus, it's been over a decade, and nothing has happened yet. But it took me awhile to feel comfortable. And there are moments, even after a dozen years, when I feel terrified." Emily turned to JJ. "I have no idea what you've been through. Hopefully I will never know the level of despair you felt for three years, and will most likely continue to feel for a long time. But I do know a little bit of what you felt and what you now feel. So please believe me when I tell you that I will always be here to listen, no matter what."
JJ's hands were lightly touching the tattoo artist's forearms now, and she squeezed them supportively. "I'm sorry you went through that. But I appreciate you sharing that with me."
Emily smiled, most of the darkness dissipating from her face. Not quite all of it, though. "If he ever tries to find me, he'll have a tattoo machine firmly in his eye socket. But there you have it, that's the story of the dagger. I initially got it since it was the right shape to hide the scar tissue, but I really like it now. It sucked, but it strengthened me... armed me. I'm not in Security Forces anymore, but God knows I'm still coiled."
Together, the pair sat in comfortable silence for a little while. JJ appreciated how the two could let loose and have a ridiculous time as the Bullpen, but also were able to trust each other the darkest corners of their souls. She studied Emily's face and admired the strength she saw in it. Emily had experienced trauma, but she didn't let it consume her. JJ imagined it had taken her a while to overcome it, but Emily's face struck hope in JJ's chest. The dark-haired woman got hurt, but that didn't stop her from being who she was today - a passionate, friendly, charming, and happy woman living a life she loved. JJ was determined to do the same.
Linework - Linework - Linework
"It's my diary. Every mark I've had drawn on my skin connects me to where and who I've been - so I never forget who I am and how I got here. And you know what the real beauty of it is? Nobody can take it away." - Charles de Lint, Someplace to be Flying
Author's Note: I didn't mean for that to be 10k words long, but it just kind of happened... Thanks for reading, and please leave a review if you can! The storyline is flexible, so if there's something in particular you'd like to see, just let me know. Thanks!