Chapter One: Love Remains The Same
"I shut the world away from here
Drift to you you're all I hear
As everything we know, fades to black"
Serena leaned her head against the window, looking out at all the people walking along the streets of New York. It was hard to believe that she was back. Sure, she had only been gone for a year, but it felt like a lot longer than that. A part of her wished that she had never left, but it had been necessary for her to leave. She could've kept in contact with everyone but it was just too hard. The car stopped and Serena recognized immediately where they were. When her car door opened she climbed out, confused.
"What are we doing here?" she asked the driver.
"Your mothers orders Ms. Van der Woodsen. The Waldorfs are having a party, you're mother is there." he informed her. Serena ran a hand through her hair, walking towards the building, moving up the steps slowly. This hadn't exactly been a part of her returning to the Upper East Side plan, but she would have to work with it. When she walked in, all eyes were on her, and she had to admit it was making her a bit uncomfortable. She had been used to it before, but being away from it had changed things. After a couple minutes of searching, she found her mother in the crowd.
"Mom...mom." she said, trying to get her attention.
"Serena!" she exclaimed, hugging her daughter. "I'm so glad your home!" Serena smiled softly at her, biting the inside of her cheek.
"Me too...but uhm, I think I'm gonna head home. I'm really tired. Jet lag." she lied. She wasn't tired at all; she just couldn't be there anymore.
"Alright honey, but why don't you say hi to Blair before you go." she suggested, glancing around for her.
"Mom I really-." She stopped speaking when she found herself looking into the eyes of Nathaniel Archibald. A soft smile appeared on her lips, butterflies flying around in her stomach. He had always done this to her, made her a nervous wreck. She figured that after being gone, the feelings would go away...apparently she was wrong. He shoved his hands in his pockets, something he tended to do when he was nervous. He took a tentative step forward, wanting to talk to her. Before he could go any further, he felt Blair grasp onto his arm, stopping him in his tracks.
"Why don't we go say hi to Serena?" he suggested, trying not to sound too eager.
"I'll go say hi to Serena, you stay. And close your mouth, you're drooling." she said, rolling her eyes. She kissed him quickly, to show Serena that Nate was still all hers. Blair always wondered if maybe the two had a thing for each other, but if they did than they would be together, and they weren't. "Serena!" she said, faking excitement as she walked over to her. "It's been so long!" The two hugged for a moment, and Serena tried not to seem too awkward. After the little public display of affection she had just seen between Nate and Blair, she knew that they were still together. A part of her wasn't too surprised. Why would he end things with Blair? Serena had left, and it wasn't like he knew when she was coming back. But she couldn't deny that she was a bit disappointed. She was hopelessly and irrevocably in love with him, but he wasn't hers.
"Hi B." she said with a smile. She felt like her knees were gonna give out; she needed to get out of there. "I'd love to stay but I'm still really tired from the flight. We should make plans, do lunch." she suggested, slowly walking away. "I'll see you around, we can hang out." Serena let her eyes connect with Nate's once more before turning and hurrying away. She had wanted to talk to Nate, but she hadn't realized how badly she wanted to talk to him until she had actually seen him. She climbed into a taxi, trying to figure out what to do. Serena had wanted to talk to Nate, but them having a real conversation at the party would be physically impossible. After a few deep breaths she flipped opened her phone, dialing Nate's number. They had to talk somewhere where they could be alone. She had to tell him everything before she lost her nerve. She had to tell him how she felt before it was too late...
"Where'd Serena go?" Nate asked, a bit disappointed.
"Who knows, who cares." she said, trying to shrug it off. "Let's go get a drink." Nate nodded but then he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He pulled it out and saw Serena's face flashing on the screen.
"Why don't you go get the drinks and I'll meet you in a minute, I have to take this." Before she could respond he was walking away from the party, shutting himself in the bathroom. "Serena?" he asked quietly as he answered the phone.
"Hey Nate..." she said, unsure of what to say.
"You left before I got a chance to say hi."
"Yeah...sorry about that, it was just too weird, you know?" she asked with a sigh. "Uhm, anyways, I was wondering if there was any way you could leave the party."
"Why, what's up?"
"I just really need to talk to you...just you." she emphasized the just you part, she didn't want him to bring Blair with him.
"Where are you?"
"I'm going back to my house...meet me there?"
"I'll be there soon." he whispered, his nerves shaking him to the core. Why did she want to talk to him so badly? Maybe she was finally admitting that she had feelings for him...maybe this was their chance. Or maybe she wanted to end it once and for all. He couldn't be sure. He walked back through the crowd, finding Blair. "Hey, I gotta get going...my dad needs me to do some business thing for him. I'll call you." he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek before walking away. The only thing Nate could think about was Serena. His legs shook and he had to refrain from telling the cab driver to speed it up. After what seemed like hours, he finally pulled up in front of Serena's place. Nate paid the man and walked up the steps, knocking gently on the door. "Hi." he said softly as she opened the door.
"Hi..." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, a sure sign that she was nervous. "Come in." he walked in, waiting for her to lead the way. "Let's go up to my room." she suggested, making her way up the stairs. Nate followed eagerly, making sure to remain at a steady pace as he walked. When they walked into her room he couldn't help but smile. They had spent a lot of time in here, there were a lot of memories.
"So are you back for good?" he asked hopefully, sitting on the edge of her bed. His hands ran over the smooth material of her comforter, remembering the feel of it against his skin from his nights spent with Serena. She nodded her head softly, sitting down next to him.
"Yeah...it was tough being away from here." It felt awkward, but maybe that was just because it had been years since they had seen each other. Maybe because she was preparing to tell him how she felt.
"It was tough being here without you." he said quietly, looking over at her.
"I bet Blair helped ease your pain." she said, unable to hide the slight bitterness in her voice.
"Serena..." he said cautiously, surprised by her tone of voice. "You know I'd give her up for you in a heartbeat." He hoped he wouldn't scare her or anything, but he figured he might as well be honest. If this was their chance, he wasn't going to let it pass him by.
"Wh- what?" she asked softly, a bit surprised. Did he still really feel the same way about her?
"I want to be with you Serena...I always have. You know that." he whispered, glancing over at her. She couldn't believe it. Her whole reason for asking him to come over was so she could tell him how she felt, and now he had told her how he felt first. Serena stood up, running a hand through her hair. Now it was like everything was thrown off and she wasn't sure what to say or do. "You're back now...we can be together." he added, standing up and resting his hand on her shoulder.
"Nate..." she whispered, turning to face him. Anything she had planned to say completely escaped her when her eyes connected with his. Looking into her eyes, he was given a sudden burst of confidence. His fingertips brushed against her cheek, stepping closer to her. "We shouldn't-." Her words were cut off as his lips crashed into hers. Her head was screaming at her, warning her that this was wrong. But her heart kept reminding her that this was the rightest thing in the world. He cradled her face in his hands while her hands gripped the back of his neck. Their mouths moved together as one, soft moans escaping from both of them. Nate pulled his lips off of Serena's, his forehead resting gently against hers.
"I knew you still felt the same." he whispered, his thumb brushing against the smooth skin of her cheek.
"I can't…" she replied quietly. Her words completely contradicted her actions as her fingertips brushed against the hair on the nape of his neck. "You're with Blair…"
"But I don't have to be. You're back now, we can be together." he said, repeating his words from a few minutes ago.
"Nate, if we were supposed to be together we would've been a long time ago." Nate shook his head softly, refusing to let her run away from them again.
"Look me in the eye and tell me that this doesn't feel right…tell me that you could walk away from me and never look back…" She looked past him, taking a deep breath. Serena couldn't tell him either of those things, because it would be a complete lie. "See? This is supposed to be…we are supposed to be." Serena didn't want to deny this anymore. She had been in love with Nate for as long as she could remember, and she was tired of hiding those feelings in order to keep Blair happy. For her entire life she had always done whatever it took to make sure everyone around her was happy. It was her turn to be happy, her turn to get what she wanted. Instead of responding to him, she pressed her body into his lightly, her lips brushing against his. Nate responded eagerly to her kiss, smiling softly against her lips, taking this kiss as her answer.
"So, what are we gonna do?" Serena asked, her voice hushed. Of course there was the obvious dumping of Blair that Nate had to do; but she knew that once Blair found out her and Nate were together, she would completely destroy Serena's life. After thinking about it a bit, she knew that being with Nate was more than worth it.
"It's not gonna be easy…" he said quietly, knowing she already knew that. Nate was willing to go through anything and everything if it meant he got to be with Serena. He just hoped that she felt exactly the same.
"I know…but I don't want to run from this anymore…" she whispered, her eyes connecting with his. For once she was going to do what she wanted to do, and deal with the repercussions as they came. Serena pressed her lips against his eagerly, wanting to escape from the world and just enjoy this moment here with him.
A/N: So here it is, chapter one. I know some of you may be thinking that I pushed Serena and Nate together too fast, but…just because they are in bliss at the moment does not mean that things will be easy or that they will stay together for very long… I hope you like it, and I will definitely be updating a lot more consistently. Song is by Gavin Rossdale; I own nadaaa. Reviews are appreciated!