Chapter 2

2 Months later….

I woke up this morning like things were the same
I didn't know that you were in pain
I brushed my teeth, I combed my hair
I went to the closet and decided what to wear
I grabbed my keys, kissed my husband goodbye
And now I sit here trying my best not to cry.
I felt fine you see, there was no pain to share
I didn't even know that you were inside of there
You were what I wanted, this I hope you know
But it wasn't you time though I wish it wasn't so
You were the missing piece to complete my happy world
I wouldn't have cared if you were a boy or girl
You were a surprise, a very happy one
But I never knew about you until our time was done
I woke up this morning, and things weren't the same
I knew something was wrong I could feel the pain
First the tares and then the cramping
I knew from that very moment what was happening
I was losing you, you were slipping from existence
I ran to the bathroom hoping I could give you a chance
But it was too late you had slipped from me
There was nothing to identify nothing to keep
You didn't have a body, you could be more than a week
There was nothing I could bury or anyone to hold
No one will ever understand but everyone tried to console
I just hope you know I loved you hope you know I cared
I would have told you every day if I'd just known you were there
I wish I could have kept you but there is no sign of you I can salvage
This is a moment I will never forget, the day of my miscarriage

She's been thinking about the things that Linda says, and writing in her journal. That poem really sums up how she has been feeling every day for the last two months. The only things that she has been feeling is that and sorrow. She took something from Lucifer he'll never get back. A family. She never even thought it was a possibility, and she never knew how much something like this could truly be until the doctor's confirmed that was what happened. She had lost a little baby. It was barely a month they told her, but it didn't matter, she had a poor little angel up in heaven and it saddened her more than anyone at the hospital could possibly know.

They all told her it's okay, and the baby is in heaven, and they even told her that he was with God. Thinking that was a comfort to her, and she should have known that a psych evaluation probably was going to be called once she said, well she didn't want it to be with God. She wanted her baby to burn in hell! She did though, she wanted him to be in the pits, and her husband could pop down and get him, and they could watch him grow. They could tell him stories, and she could let him know how much he was wanted and loved. She never even had a chance to tell Lucifer, he found out the same moment he was going to be a father that he wasn't. That was not fair. It also didn't help that every time she looked up either he or Maze were there just caring. She needed them to stop caring. She had failed them. She was the true failure and she didn't want to feel better.

-H-

He just wanted her to feel better. He wanted her to feel better and to smile at him. A real smile, the kind of Decker Smile that he would see and immediately know that everything was going to be okay. He needed that right now, but he knew it would still be awhile. He could see it in her face, she was broken. He didn't know what it would take to fix her.

"Hello." He answered his phone.

"Hi Mr. Morningstar, this is Chelsea over a Baby Love Furnishings, I was calling to tell you that we got the alterations you wanted on that cradle done. We just need to confirm your address, and we'll send it on over." She beamed.

Lucifer felt his insides twist. He could hear her smiling on the other end of the phone. It made him remember all the things he had asked of her that day, and she could tell how excited he was. She was patient and didn't comment on the fact that he wanted horns on it, as a little inside joke for him and Chloe. He had left there so happy, and he didn't call her back. Chloe was important after he left there, it slipped his mind.

"Oh Chelsea, I'm going to need to cancel that order. I tell you what, how about just keeping it for me, but take your fee of course. If you find someone who happens to like it you go on and sell it, I don't know if or when I'll need it."

Chelsea didn't want to seem nosy, but she remembered the little British man, he was so happy, that was why she was so eager to do what he wanted. It had nothing to do with the money he was throwing around. It was all about the joy that was on his face.

"Is everything okay Mr. Morningstar?" she asked.

Lucifer could feel the compassion oozing off the woman from the phone, he couldn't be snippet with her. She had been nice that day.

"We lost our little one Chelsea, there's no one to enjoy the bed."

"Oh, I'm so sorry Mr. Morningstar. I will take the money at your request, but I'll keep it here in the shop for when you need it. Be well, once again I'm so sorry."

"Yes, so am I." he sighed hanging up.

Chloe had been watching him the whole time. He was taking all the calls and explaining to everyone why she was such a bitch. He was her rock, and she would give him his family if it was the last thing she did.

"Who was that?" she asked curiously.

"Oh, it was just the young woman down at the shops. I had special ordered a cradle, I was informing her of our misfortune." He smiled at her.

"Oh." She smiled leaning back in the chair.

Lucifer knew the moment that lightbulb went off. He knew his mistake. He knew that this was going to go badly.

"You ordered a cradle?" she asked confused.

"Yes, when I left that morning, it was the surprise I was going to bring home that night. That night you kissed me and went to bed I could smell it."

'You could smell what!" she shouted rising to her feet.

"I'm an angel still love, we've gone through this. I can tell when life has entered this realm, as well as when it's out. Not to mention my own spawn. I didn't quite understand, and then you gave me that kiss goodnight and I could feel that you'd picked up a passenger, but I wasn't sure. That morning though, it was fresh and to the surface."

"You knew. You left me lying in that bed happy, and our child was dying. You could have told me, I could've done something, this is your fault!" she shouted.

"It is not! It's no one's fault, it's one of those things that just happens. Our child was a victim of circumstance, even if would have told you and been right there with you, there is absolutely nothing I could've done."

"Why not! You go on and on about being the devil, and great and powerful. I've seen you have people drop at there knees and pledge allegiances to you, you save people repeatedly and you couldn't save our child. This happened because I was carrying the spawn of Satan, and even God couldn't let that slide!"

"Mother!" Trixie shouted hopping to her feet.

She instantly could see the hurt on her stepfather's face, and she knew that this was something that her own mother would regret in the end.

"She doesn't mean it, dad." Trixie smiled.

It warms his heart every time Trixie calls him that. He thought that Daniel would've been angry, but it's not like she stopped calling him that, it was just now she had two dads, and she was cool with it. She was 14 and growing into quite a lovely young woman, but she was not his. He wasn't worthy of her, he wasn't worthy of a child of any kind.

"This couldn't be prevented Chloe, you of all people know that if I could've…...I'm just going to give you some time alone.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Maze asked from the other side of the room.

"No, you stay here, keep them safe." He smiled and exited his home.

"How could you do that mom, no matter what you are feeling how could you do that to him?" Trixie asked all in her mother's face.

"You heard what he said, he knew. He knew that I was pregnant and let me think that it was a stomach bug. I could've saved him!"

"You couldn't have mom. Deep down you know that it's true, you knew that it was true the moment that you opened your mouth and you said it. I'm just confused on how you could do that to him. He gave up everything to be with us, everything. He could've been redeemed, he could've had his family back, but he chose us. He chose you, and for you to use a word that he used as an endearment for me with such malice well how could you do that to him?"

Chloe took that moment and really looked at her daughter. She really was quite wiser than her years. Lately, she forgot that she was a child due to everything she had seen since she decided to bring Lucifer into their lives permanently. Had she been so selfish wanting him? No, she knew that Trixie wanted him just as much as she did. He loved her as if she was his own child and she had just….

"Oh God Maze!" she shouted making eye contact with the woman.

"Don't worry Decker I'll find him and bring him home. You get some rest."

-H-

Getting shitfaced was a good idea when had left the house, but now he realized that it really wasn't. Chloe was around to make it, so he could get drunk, so he just sat here in this unfamiliar bar drinking. He would get a strange look every now and then of people trying to understand why no slurred speech, or any other signs of bewilderment. He could feel himself sinking back into the darkness that took so long for Chloe to get him to climb out of, but what would happen now since there was no Chloe to help pull him out. She had told him the truth, what if he would have told her?

"Hey barkeep two shots of whiskey straight up." Maze announced taking the stool beside Lucifer.

"Maze, what are you doing here? Is Chloe alright?" he asked hoping from his seat.

"Chloe is fine, don't worry about her right now. I'm not here for her, I'm here for you."

"What?" he looked genuinely confused.

"Lucifer you are hurting right now. What happened was horrible, and I don't think it was one of your father's tests. I also know that in the morning Chloe will have a little spawn running around living her life, and you will have nothing."

"I will have Beatrice, she loves me you know that she even calls me dad." He smiled.

"I know, but it won't be the same." She gives his arm a little squeeze.

Lucifer looks down at her arm, and wonders how dare she? What is her endgame? In the beginning, she didn't even want him and Chloe to get together, and now she and Dan were the ones trying to have a baby. This was quite a comfort to him, he never wanted a spawn, everyone knows that.

"So, your weekly talks with Linda really are helping you with your emotions I see. You have them now, well I assure you, I don't need your sympathy. There's no such as sympathy for the devil, and I sure don't want it from the likes of you." He spat trying to get a rise out of her.

Normally she would say something back to him and insult him, but he was right. She had been talking to Linda about emotions, and she could tell that he was hurting. Chloe was hurting as well, but he had always put her emotions before his own. He had lost something that she knew he wanted, she was with him at the shop no one else so that look in him. He hadn't even cried, and Lucifer needed to cry, and that is what she was here for.

"Rather you realize it or not, you've always been a dad to me." She told him gently.

"I'd hope not, because the things that we did in the beginning, well they would truly be sinful."

"I don't think about that anymore. You created me Lucifer, you made me be there for you always, and I have. I was your slave, but I didn't have to stick around after you set me free, and we have had a row every now and then, but I always come back Lucifer, and I always will. I love you, and you're right I'm the one trying to have a spawn. I want to give it to Dan, and then we'll be a family, but I always knew that my little one would always be a part of you as well. It's okay to feel Lucifer, I felt him when he slipped away too. I'm here for you, you don't have to be this way for me. I'm the keeper of your secrets you know that."

"I was going to be a dad." He said, and then the dam broke.

Mazikeen took her former lord and master in her arms and let him cry. She gave anyone who dared look upon them a look, and if they dare say anything that would be the last thing they ever did. Her father was hurting, and it was her duty to be there for him. He would've been a great dad.

End Notes: Yea I know. I said I was going to post this story all on the same day, but I wanted to get some more comments, but don't look like it's happening. I'll post the final chapter tomorrow. Then something new, and more updates. Remember comments are love, and I love all the kudos as well.