Hey! Well, I got one notification on this story...
But I like writing song-fics, so I'm posting another chapter.
Who am I even talking to?
Disclaimer-I don't own Harry Potter or the song "November Rain" by Guns n' Roses.
...
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
November Rain-Guns n' Roses
...
It's hard to see anything when your eyes are filled with tears.
Everything is just a glimmer-the lights of the ambulence and the fire and the streetlights. And the reflection of the sequence of Hermione's dress and the glass shattered on the street from the lights seeming to come from everywhere, increasing my headache, increasing my pain.
It hurt. It hurt so, so bad.
And at first, I couldn't understand what hurt. It was like my brain had shut out anything from that night, as the cold rain began falling on me, and I couldn't remember why I was crying as violently as I was.
All I knew was there was an evil gash in my heart, and I could hardly stand it.
The healers sat me down inside the ambulence out of the rain and placed a blanket around me. For the shock, I recall one healer telling my Best Man, Blaise Zabini, and for the cold rain, said another.
Was it shock that had made me forget what was happening? That was making me shiver uncontrollably, sobbing my eyes out without knowing the reasons why?
It all hit me when I saw them lift her mangled body out of the car.
It briefly passed through my mind that I hated white being the colour of wedding dresses, as I could clearly see every drop of blood she'd lost.
Hermione Granger Malfoy had died. I sat in my tux, and she was hauled away in her wedding dress, the one she and Mrs. Weasley and Narcissa and Ginny had so painstakingly slaved over to make the grandest dress any wizard had ever seen.
My heart ached and I tried to chase after them, but I couldn't walk. My left leg had broken, and the gashes in my forehead were making me dizzy.
Blaise pushed me back down. He wouldn't look me in the eyes. "She's gone, mate."
It made me cry harder hearing the confirmation.
My wife of four hours was dead.
...
I didn't see many people for the next couple of days. I sat in my too large house on my too large bed, wondering why I was alone. Why had no one come to visit me?
I couldn't tell if I was happy to be alone, if I needed to be alone, or if what I really needed was comfort from others. I didn't know.
It was still raining on the day of her funeral, but we went on with it anyways, covered in our black robes. I stood with her parents. They were heartbroken. It had been their idea to ride to our hotel in a limo and not my original plan of riding Buckbeak, something she had wanted to try out again.
My fingers were shivering. I was shivering. It was so cold, my fingers were so stiff and the candle, charmed to burn brightly even in the wind and the rain, did little to warm my frozen fingers. I stayed by her grave in the cold all night.
When I woke up the next morning, Blaise was in my home, but he wouldn't look at me. Sometimes you need to be on your own, but I couldn't tell if I wanted to be alone or if I wanted comfort from my friends. Obviously, they didn't know either, and they were all pulling away from me, giving me the space they thought I needed.
The space I wasn't so sure would help me.
...
I found a new girl three years later. Her name was Astoria Greengrass, one of the kindest Slytherins I had ever met. But she always told me that I was so distant.
It was something I'd picked up when the people around me had tried to keep away from me.
I told her I was fine, and I truly was falling in love with her, but she didn't seem to give...she was holding her love away from me. Maybe she was trying to protect me, I couldn't tell. All I knew was that she must have feared some sort of breakdown from me, and was afraid I would change if she gave in to me.
Couldn't she see that I loved her, that I knew she loved me?
I wouldn't tell her I loved her, but couldn't she see it in the way I held her and spoke to her?
Couldn't she see that I felt the same about her that she did about me?
I needed her to love me back. I wasn't sure if I could be alone anymore. November was approaching, the month I'd lost Hermione, and when the rain came, so would my pain.
I couldn't go through it again this year.
I told her so. If she loved me, she didn't have to hold back.
But she did.
Everybody needs some time on their own.
But not all alone. I needed people, but they couldn't seem to find the right words to say to me, and rather than risking hurting me, they left me to my thoughts.
And it hurt.
I needed somebody. Hermione couldn't have been the only one for me.
But that Novermber, I walked through the cold rain to her grave all alone, wondering why it was that when you lost someone close to you, you lost everyone else as well.
...
When I look into your eyes Do you need some time...on your own Sometimes I need some time...on my And when your fears subside Don't ya think that you need somebody
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain
We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away
If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you
own Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone
And shadows still remain, ohhh yeahhh
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one