A/N: Well, hey there. It's me. I'm here. Seriously. And I am doing two in one night because fanfiction is FAIL. Anywho. Enjoy the shenanigans.

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ENJOOOOOOOOY.

There were exactly 38 fan clubs in Hogwarts, and only 3 of them were for Mr. Potter. The other 35 were for Sirius Black. 9 were from Hufflepuff, 21 from Ravenclaw, and the other 5 were from Gryffindor alone. Most were only made up of a couple girls, and they were harmless, just asking for his autograph, and maybe a kiss on the cheek. One of them, a group of 7 Ravenclaw girls from sixth year, was the most dangerous.

The 'Sirius-ly In Love' girls; yes, they even named themselves.

In that group were Emmiline Vance, the leader, Dianna Farley, Leslie Rhine, Kacy Perkins, Brittany Zammeth, Natalie Shalmond, and Vanessa Hudson. People new them as the dumbest smart girls in the school. As in, book smarts didn't put them in Ravenclaw. They would stalk him in a sense, always batting their fake eyelashes, and putting on too much cosmetics. Those girls smelled like the inside of a beauty shop, and they usually showed up sometime during the feast.

Dumbledore's speech had come and gone, food appearing on the gold platters, and everyone began to dig in. Chicken leg shoved in the side of his mouth, James Potter started a conversation with a disgusted Lily Evans. "'Ow are oo 'ince tha fall on 'ee train?" Bits of the food he was devouring went everywhere, and several people scoffed angrily, turning to someone else for an educated conversation, which included the love of his life. He swallowed all of his food, almost the chicken bone, and shouted to her back, "WHEN YOU FELL OUT OF HEAVEN AND INTO MY HEART."

Remus laughed, and patted James on the shoulder. "I bet she is over there right now talking about you Prongs." He swallowed the chicken and looked down at those gossiping girls hopefully.

"You really think so Moony?" he asked. Marie snorted into her mashed potatoes. This went unnoticed by everyone except her brother. "What? She could be discussing-"

"- How much of a prat you can be," she finished. She ignored James' face at her comment, and continued talking to Sirius, and a boy named Ryan Hendricks. "As I was saying, some spots have opened on the Quidditch team, Ryan, if you're interested."

He reached up to fix his crooked glasses, and smiled. "Yeah! That would be awesome. I never really thought I could try out because James had held that grudge when I dated Lily..."

Then, she heard it.

Marie turned her head to see those plastic fan girls running up to their tables. Sirius took one look, his eyes widened, and he slid under the table. Marie turned back to Ryan for a moment, trying to return to the conversation, but the person under the table grabbed her ankle and pulled. Her arms flew up above her head and she disappeared under the table with Sirius. "What the hell? Padfoot you have hit a new low..." she whispered, half angry and half amused.

"What?" he shot back defensively. "I didn't feel like being mauled by women today. It took a week to get the eyeliner stains out last year!" This confession made his friend chuckle a bit, and he just glared.

"All right, Siri," she finally responded. "Think they're gone?"

"I dunno," he replied. Sirius crawled over to where James feet were.

"What are you doing?" asked Marie, following him.

"Getting answers," he said simply. One of his hands reached over the table, grabbed the tie around the poor blokes neck, and yanked down. James gave an audible groan and leaned near the edge of the table.

"What do you want?" he whispered in frustration, looking like he was talking to Remus.

"Are they gone?"

"Who? Your lovers?"

SMACK! "OWW!" James whined, rubbing his forehead from it hitting the table. "No need for violence, mate! They're gone." The two people under the table slowly rose back to reality, and returned to their seats, Sirius' arm wrapped nervously around Marietta's waist. Involuntary butterflies erupted in her stomach, but she hastily ignored them, and returned to the conversation with Ryan.

"What position would you like to play on the team? The open spots are beater, chaser, or keeper."

"Oh," he muttered quietly, trying to get over the weirdness of the scene that had just taken place. "I'm an okay beater, so I'll try for that at trials. When are they being held?"

"Ask James, he's the almighty captain of this team." She pointed to the person sitting across from Sirius. Ryan got a bit wide-eyed, and Marie grinned. "Yeah. The one who is rubbing his forehead and muttering to himself."

"We've met," he answered quietly.

"Shuddup Marie," James replied darkly. He looked at Ryan, and his look got darker. Ryan kind of shuddered, and muttered something before he got up awkwardly and left. "And that's what you get for trying to steal my future wife."

"James?" asked Remus, a small smile playing at his lips.

The dark look faded quickly, and James looked up. "Hmm?"

"You're children will be the most bizarre gingers ever."

James had this ecstatic look on his face. "You think we'll have children?"

Everyone sighed, and went back to eating, while he had a slightly dreamy grin on his face and stared at the ceiling, missing his mouth with his fork.

The feast came and went, with small amounts of chatter between every bite. When it was time to collect the first years and move to the common room, Marie, James, Sirius, and Remus hung back. Then it struck Sirius. Something funny.

"Has anyone seen Peter?"

James furrowed his brow, and looked around, through the crowd of students running around. Their sear friend was no where to be found. As the Slytherin's filed out, there was Peter, talking with the attackers from the train. "Uh," muttered James, "found him."

All of them turned in the same direction and sucked in a betrayed breath simultaneously. Marie kind of resembled a scared guppy. Sirius scratched his head, and Remus was awkwardly looking at EVERYTHING else.

"Maybe… he's confronting them!" They all then looked at Marie. "Well, maybe. None of us have seen him all summer. He could have a backbone now…" But she got very quiet after that.

They all spent a few more moments staring at Peter's back before they were joined by their Ravenclaw comrades. Dorcas Meadows, Marlene McKinnon, and a boy named Alaric Brighton. They all walked together to the main staircase, sharing more stories of the summer, when Sirius whisper-yelled, "PLACES. No, you know… yeah. GO GO GO."

The Marauders split all around the room, finding suits of armor to hide behind. James tried to hide behind Filtch's cat, and was promptly bitten. "JESUS-"

"SHHHHHHHHH."

"Right."

Remus, being closest to Marlene and Cassy, grabbed all three of them, and pulled them over. Marlene raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to do something stupid?"

Remus smirked. "Never stupid. Well thought out, good hearted fun."

"How many did you send to the Hospital Wing last time?"

"Uh. That's… not the point."

"Riiiiiight."

Everyone was really quiet until their targets came walking through the doorway. Lucius Malfoy, looking pompous as ever, was leading them all through the corridor, heading towards the first set of stairs. There was a vanishing step on the first flight, but everyone knew that. Alexander Thomas was following far behind. He was the only Slytherin that was tolerable, and happened to be Marie's close friend. As he passed Marietta's little hiding place, a hand reached out and grabbed his ankle. He went flying, face forward, into the ground, and was dragged behind a pillar.

"Ow, I- what in the name of-"

"Shut up."

"But, Marie-"

"No, silence."

He stopped trying to speak, and waited for an explanation. As the Slytherin group reached the steps, a confundus charm came whizzing from where James was perched, hitting Lucius square in the jaw. He fell into the vanishing step. The others all turned in different directions and yelled, "Stupify!"

Three of these spells were lucky enough to hit Marie, Sirius, and James. James' body was shoved upward into the air, and he hit the floor, knocked unconscious. Sirius was thrown into a different corridor, landing on his face with a thud. Marietta tried to dodge, shoved Alex out of the way, and was hit in the ankle with the spell. It tossed her, spinning, out in front of everyone. And her wand was in the complete opposite direction.

She looked up from the feet of Regulus black, and smiled nervously. "Oh, hello."

"What a pleasant surprise," he replied, failing to notice the last Marauder hiding with his three friends.

Remus hit his forehead with the palm of his hand, and sighed. Now how was he to go with the plan. What he failed to notice, as he watched words being exchanged between Reggie and Marie, was Alaric peeking his wand out.

"Confundus." It whizzed right into the back of the head of Narcissa Black, as she tried to help Lucius out of the step. She fell in too. No one noticed. They were all staring at Marie.

Both Cassy and Marlene looked at each other, and grinned. Both took out their wands, and sent two more charms out, hitting various members of the group. McNair and some big guy slowly sank to the ground, one with his hand in the step, and the other stuck by his knee.

Marietta quickly realized what was happening, and proceeded to hand-signal Alex to get Bella. It only took a flick of his wand before she, too, went down.

Marie let a huge, toothy grin spread across her face. Confused, Regulus Black looked around, and then turned his suddenly frustrated face back to the Gryffindor on the floor before him.

"You-"

"Confundus."

And he meandered on top of Lucius into the step.

Everyone peeked out of their spots, and got to their feet. They all turned to Marietta who had also risen. The huge grin was still on her face, and she asked them, "so, who has the garden knomes?"