Thank you to my beta, Uniquely Named for reading this even though it isn't one of her fandoms. It is just a testament to what a lovely person she is.
I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make
Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use
The tools and gifts we got, yeah, we got a lot at stake
- I Won't Give Up, Jason Mraz
True to her word, Helena didn't extract herself from the sleeping form. She oscillated between keeping a protective watch and being drug into the depths of sleep, lulled by the steady breathing of the sick young woman. Her sick young woman. With sadness, she noted Myka didn't stir during the nighttime checks of the hospital staff. It was clear the woman had become far too accustomed to the intrusion, and it was no wonder that she was so tired. The Victorian was pleased that the nurses did nothing to try to remove her from the bed, she would have hated to wake Myka in her bid not to leave her. But there was nothing anyone could do to extract her. Sleepily she concluded that Vanessa likely governed the situation, for which she was deeply grateful.
Breaking dawn strewn in through the hospital windows, falling across the bodies of the two women. Helena wished she could close the window coverings for fear that it might wake the lightly snoring woman she held safely in her arms. Getting up was out of the question. Instead she carefully examined the relaxed face of her companion. Illness had not taken her beauty, but it had changed her. The sunken cheeks and dark circles under her eyes betrayed the strain of the illness, as did the addition of small lines at the corners of her eyes. It was a face that saw horrors too young and who had bared the weight of the world.
Helena sighed deeply at the recognition of her part in the decline of the beautiful creature stretched against her. In the confusion and madness of being brought out of the bronze sector, she found comfort in the detail oriented and brilliant agent. At first she'd seen Myka as her easiest point of re-entry to the Warehouse, but without her permission feelings for the young woman blossomed in her chest. They shared a great many interests in common. In fact, Myka was the only one who seemed to value some of the comforts of the inventor's own era. On quiet afternoons the two could be found holed up in the library reading. Between pages, light hearted conversations flowed into heated literary debates. Helena smiled at the memory. They were among her happiest in this period or that which preceded it. But her time in bronze did more damage than she'd realized. The darkness and madness were beyond her control. And she would have destroyed the world were it not for the flaming green eyes that challenged her, even as a gun was pressed to her forehead.
She knew they'd made peace while she was in the Janus coin. Mrs. Frederick had been generous enough to allow Myka more extensive access to Helena's non-corporeal form. The time allowed them the opportunity to talk through most of the pain. The older woman was happy to watch her companion begin to resemble herself again, but secretly knew her own guilt over the situation would follow her for the rest of her days, regardless of anything the regents could do to her. When her mind and body were reunited, her only goal became to protect the woman she nearly destroyed. In a time she couldn't remember, Artie told her that she laid down her life and confessed her love, leaving this earth in a blaze of glory. It did sound like something she would have done. She hadn't been prepared to hear about how Myka reacted in that timeline, how she was unprepared to let her go. But her heroic unremembered actions gained her back her freedom, which she squandered until the last 12 hours.
In her heart, she believed she was doing them both a favor. How could someone, even someone as good as Myka, keep loving someone who systematically destroyed her time and time again. No apology would ever suffice for the pain she had inflicted. Surely disappearing to allow them both to start over again would have been the kindest course of action. She underestimated the depth of their connection, of their love. It was apparent she could convince herself of nearly anything, but the younger agent never stopped carrying a torch for her, even when Helena claimed to love another. With the young woman finally securely in her arms, she couldn't fathom how her decisions made sense at the time.
Gentle stirring brought her back to the present, to the unhappy hospital room, to the very ill woman who owned her heart.
"You didn't leave," a small raspy voice said.
"I didn't even consider it, darling."
"Why now? Why this time?"
"I think I've spent enough time playing the fool, don't you?" Helena paused, debating how much more to say. "I've been given enough second chances. I can't afford the risk of missing whatever this is between us just because I am scared. I can't help thinking this is my last chance."
"I'm dying, Helena."
"I think you can survive this. But even if you can't, I won't allow you to die alone. If you are leaving this life, you will have to do so in my arms."
"Before... before you walked through that door, I was ready. The medication and the pain and the last few years. I am so tired. And what was the point."
"And now, Agent Bering?" Helena asked with a gently playful tone.
"Perhaps I do have a little fight left. But don't you fucking dare leave me again."
The inventor lifted a pale hand to her lips, kissing it slowly while never breaking eye contact. "You have my word." She watched a small smile grace the face beneath her.
"Good."
A knock at the door disrupted their conversation, but neither attempted to move much. Helena helped Myka roll onto her back as Myka insisted on using her as a pillow.
"Wonderful, you are both awake," Vanessa said in her typical soothing professional tone. She watched as the sick woman nuzzled the shoulder she leaned against. It was clear to Myka that Helena hung the moon and stars just for her. "I have news," she continued slowly.
"You have my permission to share it with Helena here," Myka replied automatically. She certainly had learned a lot about privacy laws over the course of the last few months.
"Thank you. Based on the latest blood work, I believe we've stabilized you. At Mrs. Frederick's request, the sunroom at the Bed and Breakfast was converted overnight into a medical room. So if you want, you can go home." Vanessa held up her hand to prevent either from interrupting her. "But it is going to be a long journey still. You nearly died yesterday from severe dehydration. You can expect that we will be watching you closely."
"I would still rather it be you and Helena than strangers."
"I thought you might say that. Ms. Wells would you be open to learning a bit about modern medicine to serve as my nurse of sorts?"
"Anything."
"Very good then. The paperwork is almost ready. You will be releasing yourself into my care." Producing a bag from behind her back, she continued, "Here are clean clothes. Helena can you manage getting her dressed?"
The Victorian grinned and nodded affirmatively.
"Oh and H.G., if you wouldn't mind giving me your car keys, we will make sure your things get back to the Bed and Breakfast as well."
"Of course. Thank you. They are just there in my purse."
"Thank you ladies, I'll be back in about 30 minutes with paperwork."
Helena ran her fingers through the shortly cropped hair, gently rubbing Myka's scalp. "Are you ready to go home, my love?"
"Yes. I really didn't imagine the first time you saw me naked that you would be dressing me."
"No, my dear, I suppose I didn't imagine so either," Helena chuckled. "But I think there will be time for the other as well. But for now, let's get us home."
"Home?" Myka's green eyes darkened as tears threatened to fall. Delicate fingers immediately traced her cheeks, wiping tears away before they could fall.
"Home. Together."
Getting out of the hospital and transferred back to the Bed and Breakfast went smoothly. Twenty-four hours in the hospital stabilized her, but did nothing to abate the constant exhaustion. Yet somehow it seemed easier to bear with a certain brunette at her elbow. The women were shocked at the preparations done prior to their arrival. The sunroom had been converted to the warmest version of a hospital room possible. A two person hospital bed was covered with Myka's own quilt, softening its appearance. A favorite reading chair from the library sat nearby next to a tall bookshelf. One of their most thoughtful companions had filled it with many of the sick woman's favorite books. An entire shelf was dedicated to her H.G. Wells collection. Three large dressers lined the other wall, two were filled with the women's clothing, while one concealed medical necessities. Most surprisingly, a full bathroom had been constructed. While surprises were not uncommon when the Warehouse and Mrs. Fredrick were involved, Helen made a mental note to ask how the construction had been completed so quickly.
Helena went about settling the two of them in as soon as they entered the room. She noted how much getting into the house tired Myka and quietly dismissed the small crowd with a gentle smile. Eye contact with Claudia confirmed that her actions were understood. She closed the door behind them. She helped the woman sit on the edge of the bed, before moving to retrieve clean pajamas. Myka smiled as she returned to the bed.
"See, it didn't take you too long to get to undress me."
"And it is every bit the pleasure I'd imagined."
Myka responded by playfully hitting her shoulder and then lifting her hips compliantly, allowing deft fingers to strip her down to her underwear. Even as bad as she felt, it sent a shiver through her. Dark brown eyes and an accompanying smirk confirmed that the inventor was well aware of the effect of her actions. The older woman moved to remove the t-shirt and bra to replace it with a light tank top. She ran her fingers from the center of the back at the clasp to the sides, lightly brushing the sides of breasts. The light intimacy caused the sick woman to purr in response. Helena moved the woman onto her back and into bed.
"Do you think you can sleep, darling?" Helena inquired while petting her head.
"Hmm I think so."
"Would it be alright if I took a shower while you rest?"
"Of course. I will be right here."
Helena leaned down, intending to place kiss on the pale forehead. Unexpectedly, Myka lifted her chin to capture the proffered lips. They lingered there together for a few unhurried moments without escalation. When they parted, Myka laid back and closed her eyes, sighing happily as Helena slipped into their adjoining bathroom.