Summary: Ok this is somewhere in series 5ish! BUT Kochanski's in it because I like her. So imagine that she came in it a series early if that helps because Rimmer is still a hologram and Holly is a woman so get used to it I don't want tantrums cause it isn't correct with the series' I am the biggest red dwarf fan ever so I know that its not right! I go to the convention dressed as Kochanski every year.

Kate came out of the shower drying her hair off with a towel. She felt like she was fitting in just fine. Rimmer came out but became slightly embarrassed because she just had a towel on.

"Erm Kate, Hello, we were just wondering if you'd like to come and play poker later on? Kris won't be playing so if she's still feeling hostile it should be ok."

"Thanks Rimmer maybe, why won't she be playing?"

"Well I think she doesn't like the fact its strip poker" He said with a smug grin on his face.

She laughed. "I'll probably pass, but thanks"

She put on her PVC crew uniform and went into the hold were the Cat was drying his hair.

"Oh hello I didn't know you were here."

"Hey officer bud babe, looking hot. How are you and other officer bud babe sisters anyway? Did you have the same mother?" The Cat sad stupidly as he usually did.

"Yes and father!" she said smiling with a shocked look on her face she was beginning to wonder how all the crew of half wits had lasted so long in space. Kryten entered at that point hovering using his groinal attachment to hoover the deck floor. She couldn't help but snigger at how ridiculous he looked.

"Morning Kryten." She said sniggering.

Kris sat up at the table Opposite to Lister eating 'Branston Pickle' out of the jar. Her hair stuck up she didn't seem happy.

"Kris come on cheer up she's your sister?"

"That she might be but I hate her."

"What's she ever done to you Kris?"

"Always stolen my thunder!"

"Kris she hasn't stolen your thunder." Lister told her sympathetically.

"Yes she had and I've seen the way you look at her and Rimmer."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean looking at her like she's a life time supply of vindaloo and lager."

"No I don't. Maybe a lager but she's a woman Kris before you arrived even Rimmer looked good." Kris laughed. "Why anyway?"

"What do you mean why?" She demanded.

"Why you so bothered?"

"I'm not bothered."

"You're jealous" Lister said laughing. At that point Kate walked in.

"Morning guys." Kris imitated to herself like a child. Lister rolled his eyes.

"There's food in the fridge we raided a derelict not so long ago. There's tons."

"Oh thanks" She smiled sweetly and Lister felt like melting. Kris raised her eyebrow at him but he didn't notice he was too busy watching her bend down to the cupboard. She stormed out with hate on her face.

"Good morning Miss Kochanski." Kryten said happily.

"Shut up you demented ironing obsessed droid from hell" She said back. He lowered his head and went into the kitchen where Kryten started cleaning and Lister was still staring at Kate.

"Mr Lister sir, Is there a reason Miss Kochanski resembles an angry Ken Dodd this morning?" He said looking confused.

"Don't let her hear you saying that Kryte she'll hang you by your groinal piece." Kate laughed at Listers remark remembering his groinal attachment from earlier. She sat down where Kris had been sat with a bottle of water and decided to get comfy. Holly came on screen.

"Hey guys is there a reason Kris looks like an angry Ken Dodd this morning? Anyway what was I saying? Oh yeah all the lights have gone on floor 4."

"Whys that Hol?" Kate said.

"Oh I don't really know."

"Lot of good you are, its probably just Cat using his hair dryer short circuiting it."

"Well hang on if that's the case then me and Rimmer can't go in there because we'll shut down."

"Well you won't Miss Kochanski because you're an extreme hardlight hologram."

"Yes of course."

"Holly reboot all power systems." Kryten said.

"I can't my reset task forces take place on that deck."

"Ok then, we better get down there. Miss Kochanski ma'm perhaps you can help."

"Yeah of course."

"I better come too." Lister said following after Kate.

"Mr Lister perhaps it would be best if you and Miss Kochanski booted the ship up from the inside and I sort the door override."

"Ok." Kate said walking in with Lister. It was dark and nobody was in there so it probably wasn't the cat's hair dryer. Lister stood next to Kate looking around. Suddenly the ship came to an immediate holt causing Lister to fall on top of Kate.