We Stark may be a lot of things because yeah, we're not perfect. Not even the Kennedy's came close to perfection. But you can count on us for two things: Having your back and telling it like it is.

"It's not that bad… it was on the color palate for Vogue last year. It's not that orange, it's more of a deep sandish color. I think Liz Taylor used it in her wedding"—Well not Sansa, Sansa will always try to make you feel good even if she ends up doing a shitty job. I take the champagne flute from her hands.

"Elizabeth Taylor married eight times, EIGHT! And the last time she married was in the nineties. I'm having a wedding that follows trends from almost thirty years ago"—Jeyne sulks as she downs her drink.

"Isn't that what you posh girls like to call vintage?"—Ygritte says drinking strait out of the bottle cuz she's gangster like that.

"Do they even use the word vintage beyond the Wall?"—Jeyne smirks. Not Jeyne Jeyne, the other one; the Poole Bitch. Why is she here again? Oh yeah, Mom invited her.

Massive orange flowers arrangements give space for the fine cutlery on the tables. Giants chandeliers with a somewhat dim light give the venue a weird, yup you guess it; an orange light. Sensing a theme? Mommy Dearest put herself in charge of the wedding decoration and of course she chose to use the service of Baelish Entertainment Inc. The Orange Color was used because apparently it meant joy, warmth, heat, sunshine… everything we Starks of THE NORTH are not but hey; Littlefucker got his paycheck didn't he?

"Jeyne. Did you or did you not marry the man of your dreams?" I tell her because my feet are tired from standing at the bar and the Poole Bitch's perfume is making me sick.

"Of course I did, Robb is my everything!"—Jeyne says in a dreamy voice making everyone go all girly saying awwwwww.

"Well it's kind of legal now. As in: if Mom wants a divorce she'll need two signatures. Yours and Robbs. I know Robb will prefer having his head cut off than leaving you. What about you?"

"Hell no, I am his and he is mine!"—She declares standing up and sloshing her orange drink on her white dress. Mommy Dearest is going to adore that little bit.

"You're married, it's your day. Yeah, the decorations are tacky but you got the ring and you got the guy. Can we please just get drunk?"

"Arya… you! You'll make a fantastic husband one day!"—Jeyne says giving me a hug already drunk but hey, it's her wedding. Hopefully she'll only have just one.

I smirk "Don't you mean wife? And don't get your hopes ups with your 'I do's'. If someone is getting wedding fever it isn't me"

Jeyne's eyes go wide and exclaims an adorable yet disturbing 'ops' but Ygritte cuts in to drag her away "Ok Wifey, let's go dance and sober you up before we get you even more drunk"

The Poole Bitch fixes her silicon boobs and makes herself scarce while I remain standing watching the crowd with Sansa in comfortable silence. Its sad how bad things have to happen to make people come together. While she comes and hugs me from behind I remember the day Sansa came home all bloodied and beaten yet she still wouldn't talk to me out of pride. It took a lot more beatings on her part, me taking her responsibilities and Dad dying for us to be together like this. I'd take Dad back in a heartbeat but the other things? I guess sometimes in life you need to get your ass kicked to get smart. I lean back and snuggle into her.

"We're doing good aren't we Sans?"

"Dad would be happy. He would have liked Jeyne. It's a shame he didn't get to know her"—

"Yeah… I think you guys will always wonder what would have Dad thought of your choice of person to bump uglies. Jon and I are safe on that front" She says nothing but over the years I've learned that Sansa's silence speak louder than her words. "What's wrong Stark? Talk to me" I say turning around, putting my drink at the bar and properly hugging her.

"Arya are you happy? With Smalls?"—

"The guy is more loyal than Nymeria. I'm good, thanks for asking"

"I didn't ask if you were 'good'. I asked if you were 'happy' or more importantly; if you are in love"— On cue Smalls appears in the corner of my eyes. He's by the children's table letting them use him like a human jungle gym. He loves kids, maybe that's why he's been with me since such a young age. Am I happy? Yeah, you can say that. Since Dad died you can say that I've finally found a balance. I'm going to college, I have a stable, dependable boyfriend and my people (my family) are good. Am I in love? No, but sometimes love is not worth the trouble. I swear there are days I wake up with a hurt inside my heart so deep that I have to talk myself to not go to the hospital. The man I loved the most out of the whole wide world died and he's never coming back, that void will never be filled. I don't love Smalls but I don't not love Smalls either. He's my friend, he's family, he loves me and has done a lot for me. Me staying with him is just another form of love. It's also the price I have to pay for being a Stark.

"I've been with the same guy for 3 years and I've known him all my life. Let's talk about your love life. I think it's time for you to get your grove back on, no douches this time!" I go for diversion and thankfully Sansa doesn't mind. She smiles.

"You're right. Robb's lovefest has got me thinking and I think I'm finally ready to date again. Should I ask Robb's friend to dance with me?"—She says pointing over at Hot Guy. He's standing by the whisky fountain (yup, you read correctly) while the Poole Bitch is all over him like white on rice.

"I said no douches" I mutter taking my drink again.

Apparently Hot Guy has a name and its Gendry Waters which surprised me since Robb always talked with so much love and respect towards this Gendry Waters; his college roommate turned best friend. Well I didn't met Gendry Waters, I meet Hot Guy Le Douche who took every chance to eye fuck me and stalk me whenever he could. To say I was hot and bothered was useless. I'm a sexual person; that's rich slang for 'horny as fuck' and maybe it's because with all the wedding crap and me staying back at the Manor that I haven't had sex in ages but I feel things, I feel things I should not feel when Hot Guy, sorry; Gendry looks at me. It's not even fair. Look at him! "Oh…"—Sansa says noticing the obvious.

While the Poole Bitch yaps away Gendry is looking straight at me, he's been doing it all night. He laughs at his own little private joke as he scans me from top to bottom, he licks his lips, winks his eye or hits me with a smirk and I. JUST. CAN'T. I need sex.

"Arry think you can clean this real quick? Some poor little girl got sick on me"— Smalls walks over interrupting my wayward thoughts.

"Gotta go Sans!" I say dragging Smalls out of the ballroom, walking as fast as I can trough the Manor. The house is packed. Both Jeyne and Robb gave Mom full access on the Wedding except on location. Winterfell Manor is kind of a castle… ok, it is a castle, I'm trying not to sound pretentious. Anyway, it was built by the first Stark, warden of the North, blah, blah, blah. My grandfather got married here, my father got married here, Robb was getting married here and here we are. Waiters, valets, guests swerve around us as I find the laundry room and lock the door once inside.

"Shirt off!" I say once I already threw his jacket on the floor and I'm hiking up my dress.

"Poor little thing. I think she ate too many chocolate truffles. They're really good, did you taste them?"—

"I'm not in the mood for truffles Smalls"—I say as I take his shirt off throw it in the washer, close the lid and sit on top of it. "C'mon here" I say not caring where my panties land and open my legs.

"Uhmmm Arry, what are you doing?"- 'Not much up there in the head department is there?' Gendry words and his deep, rich voice fills my head. I try breathing trough my mouth.

"I've missed you. It's a wedding, people have sex" I pout trying to drag him closer to me with my legs but the man is a human brick.

"Arry I told you, we can't have sex. You'll entire family will know"—

"Smalls I lost my virginity when I was 13 and have been living with you since I was 16, nobody is going to say anything if I marry in a red dress"

"Don't say things like that…"—Smalls frowns as he walks further away and I'm disappointed because you need proximity to have sex, at least with another person. "I care about what people say about you. You're my girl, I promised your Dad I'd take care of you and that's what I'll do"—

As Smalls caresses my face with his giants hands my libido dies and I give up.

"Ok" I say jumping off the washer and fixing my dress down. "Check inside Bran's room. Everybody got dressed there. Maybe you'll find a shirt your size"

"Thanks Arry. Have I told you you look beautiful today?—He says giving me a quick peck on the cheek. I look hideous in this dress. Yes; he loves me… I smile back as we both walk out, Smalls goes up to the second floor to change and I go back to the reception hall but remain at the door. A therapist would have a field day with me because I want to feel like how Dad made me feel; loved. I want to giggle like Jeyne does when Robb smiles at her, I want to punch something like Ygritte does when Jon does something romantic without even trying, just because he loves her. With Smalls I feel protected and taken care of, I feel safe but I don't feel that spark. I've always wanted it. Even before Dad died. I didn't have an easy teenage life, hormones and Catelyn Stark made me take some pretty bad decisions but I will say I did then looking for that spark but I never found it. I have Smalls. Smalls loves me.

"So… what kind of name is Smalls? I mean he's my size and I'm everything but. Are we talking trouser department?"—I don't even flinch. I felt his presence slowly walking over me as I came back. By now I like and invite how his voice washes over me like watered honey. Gendry hands me a shot of jack which I down in a second. He smirks, drinks his as well and signals to a waiter to bring two more.

"His name is Jon. Jon Umber. Which is also my brother's name…"

"I get it. I once dated a girl named like my mom. It kind of ruins things in the bed department"—

"Exactly. His dad is also called Jon but they call him Greatjon; Umbers only come in one size. Naturally people call him Smalljon; ergo… Smalls" I shrug as we fall silent watching people around us.

"You've changed since the last time I saw you"—

"I'm sorry…" I say genuinely taken aback. "We've met before?"

"Yup…"—He replies with emphasis on the P. "You were fifteen and you certainly weren't with Smalls"— I freeze. I did not do what people would call 'proper things' when I was fifteen. Hell, I don't remember much from those years. Drugs will do that to you. I'm ashamed and Gendry seems to know that as he comes closer to me and takes my face in his hands just like Smalls did a while ago but it feels different. How can a same act cause different emotions? His large hands holds such delicacy that I feel naked, specially under his blue gaze "But your eyes are the same… a sad, beautiful grey"— I feel everything but I feel nothing as his face is just a breath from mine, in fact we're sharing the same air and I know he wants contact as much as I want it.

Kiss me… I don't know if I said it or thought it but when I grab Gendry by the lapels of his jacket I hear my mother's voice.

"Excuse me, can I have your attention? Please I urge you to take your seat as we're about the hear some words from the Best Man and the Maid of Honor"—

"M'lady?"—Gendry offers me his arm and I take it. He knew me when I was fifteen and I 'certainly wasn't with Smalls'. I cringe. How does he know me? Looking at him as we walk to the main table I doubt that he was into any of the heavy shit I was let alone that Robb would associate with someone like that. No, Gendry looks like a man who has known what he wanted out of life since he was born. He doesn't walk, he strides commanding attention from both men and women. I see Smalls parents looking at him but for different reasons and I lament the fact the when we get to the table that he's sitting on the other side next to Robb.

Sansa goes first. The Princess up for show. She has the crowd in the palm of her hand laughing, crying, and clapping on cue. All an act since she has a pretty serious anxiety disorder that she's been battling for a while so naturally I'm the one who laughs and claps the most at her jokes. It's Jon's turn and he isn't even standing when people start to laugh since Jon and public speaking? Just. No. Robb stands up.

"Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen. Thank you for joining me and my wife on the day we begin a new adventure together"—

"Really? You are giving yourself a speech? I told you I was better than Snow with all things oral"—Theon says making people laugh. Jon blushes up a storm while Ygritte flashes everyone a smug smile that makes you think the exact opposite of what Theon is saying.

"Since Theon isn't allowed to speak in public"—Robb says smacking him in the back of the head "And my Best Man is in fact kind of shy; the honor goes out to another man I consider my brother. You may not have seen him in church since trust me, having him here is rare occurrence but the big guy is worth it. He's had my back through really tough times and… "—His voice breaks but steadies when Jeyne grabs his hand. "Well, this is my pal who hopefully won't embarrass me. Gendry?"—

"Don't worry. I won't tell people how you instructed Theon to kick a hornet's nest at you so you could land in the hospital with the hot nurse"—Gendry's voice booms all over thanks to the microphone as its Robb's turn to blush. Jeyne jumps up and down on her seat shouting 'I knew it!'

"Good evening"—He says as if he need to gather people's attention. Like I said, people gravitate towards him. Gendry is not only big in size, he's also big in presence.

"I'm sorry to interrupt you on this lovely evening since apart from the bride and groom and a couple of people of this table I really don't know anyone but I'm honored to be here. The sentiment goes both ways Robb since I also think of you as a brother. Our 'tough times' were ours to bear so I'm not going to get into any kind of details, I'm just glad we made it through the other side, that you're weren't allergic to bees and that Jeyne wasn't allergic to idiots."—The crowds howls in laugher and raise their glasses once Gendry lifts his up and toasts in the name of the bride and groom. He walks over and embraces Robb in a man hug. They speak for their ears only but I swear Robb says my name and they both look at me. I try to seem unaware but I see Gendry nodding something back making Robb smile.

The music starts and I jump from the table like a bat out of hell. The mere implication that Gendry saw me during my bad years makes me want to vomit. They were bad, really bad. Yet no one ever saw me at my worst. I was mad at the world, angry at Dad, furious at Mom so I took it on myself and I've been paying for it ever since. When the only person responsible for it is walking around high as a kite.

"Arya my dear, may I have this dance?"—I turn around and there he is; Petyr Baelish in all his glory. No matter how much of my father's money he splashes on himself he still looks like the cheap little fuck he is.

He knows what he's doing. The press is around taking pictures for the Sunday papers, I can't make a scene without ruining Robb's day. I take a deep breath. "A dance, just once"

"I should be so lucky"—He says leading the way to the dance floor.

I feel like eels are sticking to my body were he's touching me. I don't touch Petyr Baelish, I don't talk to Petyr Baelish. It's a rule, literally. The day I agreed to take my part of responsibilities over this family I demanded two things. One; the live outside of the house and two; to never have to speak to Petyr Baelish. I ran with the wrong crowd for a while. I was tempted to have him killed but I never got to it. He's not worth it.

"Your brother looks happy…"—He says. I ignore. The music keeps on playing.

"Now your mother? She is more than happy. I feel as if this was what the family needed you know? To get together and celebrate something. When was the last time we did something like this?"—

"Well since no one went to your wedding with Catelyn I have to say it was my father's funeral" We stop dancing all together and square off. Petyr Baelish likes me as much as I like him. He smiles. I don't. The music keeps on playing.

"You know Arya it's time you start changing your attitude. You've reached an age where a young woman has to decide what she wants in life. Don't wither away morning death. Celebrate life, celebrate love…specially love. A wedding may be closer than you think. Eighteen in two weeks am I correct?"—He smiles, I don't. The music keeps on playing.

"Walk away Arya, walk away"—Jon says. I didn't even realize I have my hands filled with his shirt and that I pushed him against the wall. Petyr smiles, I don't. The music keeps on playing.

I storm outside. It's already nightfall. I want to cry, I want to fight, I want to break something. Drugs. Now that's the easy way out, my candy flavored booster upper was cocaine but it wasn't enough, it never was. I was wanted to feel something, anything and the more I took the deeper the void.

I see a light from out far, someone's at the crypts. With the press around I don't want to take any chances at someone taking pictures at my father's last resting ground. The crypts are vast, a looooooot of dead Stark around here. The entrance his wide and it leads to a small stairwell lit with torches. When I open the doors the light goes out from the gust of wind but I manage to see a familiar figure. Dark hair, broad shoulders, impossible height. Smalls. I check my watch and notice that it's 11.14pm. Smalls is normally knocked out dead by 9, he must be looking for some quiet and peace. He tends to come down here with me whenever I need closeness to my father, he doesn't talk, he just lets me sit still and think.

"Please don't shut me out again…" I say as I soothe my hands over his back, under his jacket, up and down. "Kiss me"

This time Smalls doesn't back away from me. He turns around and kisses me with caution, like he's afraid he might break me but I don't need gentle. I need rough. I push him to the wall and plunge my tongue down his throat. I'm a sexual person, I already told you that. Smalls certainly knew it. I slept around, it was my first act of rebellion. FYI to all the prissy little princess's that called me a slut? Guess why you are on your third marriage and can't keep a man? A vagina is just like any other body part, learn how to use it! I'm the alpha in the relationship. I'm always the one who has to start things up. Smalls likes to make love, I like a good fuck so I'm more than surprised when he pushed me with enough force that I slam back against the opposite wall. He's on me in a matter of seconds hoisting me up, maneuvering my legs so I straddle him. The size of his hands are a plus as he manages to touch me all over, quickly finding my center and growling when he realizes that I don't have any underwear on. I must have left it back in the laundry room.

"I need to taste you, I have to taste you"—He says settling me down. One leg on the floor, the other one over his shoulder. I should have recognized the voice, I did recognize the voice. But I was too far gone. I've never been this wet in my life and his tongue is lapping up, drinking every last drop of me like a man dying of thirst. He's good, reaaaaally good. The perfect combination of tongue, teeth and finger as he fucks me with his mouth. I howl like a bitch in heat as I come like I have ever done in my life, my scream echoing to eternity through the stone walls. I grab his hair; just fucked hair that I remember constantly gets in his eyes so I shove it over his forehead.

"Gendry…"

"Arya…"—

I. FUCKED. UP

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