Dirty
Takes place during season six. Buffy/Spike.
I Disclaim... Nothing is mine
Buffy felt dirty.
She didn't love him. Barely even liked him. He was everything she hated. Evil and soulless.
But he loved her.
That almost made it worse. When they made love – Fucked – he was hoping for something more. Something she could never give him, not even if she wanted to (and she didn't). She was using him.
And that made her feel dirty. Cheap, bad, dirty.
But it was better than feeling nothing.