"Tell me the truth…" – Loki x Reader Chapter 2

(This chapter was pretty much written to 'The Reason' by Hoobastank, 'Wherever You Will Go' by The Calling, and 'Iris' by The Goo Goo Dolls… just in case you were wondering :3 )

***
It was true… Loki and that guy had… Stop. Just stop thinking about it. You inhaled deeply before heading off towards your room. Not the room you shared with Loki, no, you couldn't be around him at the moment. You had to go back to the room Tony had given you when you first moved into the tower. You had to be alone. You had to be alone to think about everything that had just happened.

All the while, there was a little voice in your mind asking: Why were you so upset about it? It was all in the past… right?
***

When you reached your room, the first thing you did was jump in the shower. Some primal notion in the back of your mind said that if you cleaned yourself, the entire situation would be erased… And considering you were less than willing to talk to anyone, it was the best shot you had at clearing your mind.

However, even under the steaming heat of the water, your mind wouldn't stop. Why did the thought of Loki having a relationship with that man worry you so much? Why did your stomach feel like it was spinning? Why did you feel like breaking down and crying?! You leaned forward and rested almost all of your weight on the cool tiles. Thank Odin the water was running. It made the tears feel less real as they travelled down your cheeks. You sighed and wiped the tears away, in vein. It was kind of a sad fact, but the shower was the only place you felt safe to cry. There were three main reasons you felt this way, no one else was around to see your moment of weakness; the warmth of the water made the cold ache in your chest semi-bearable, and, most importantly, the water raining down on you would wash away any evidence of your tears.

After a good ten minutes of just standing under the continuous stream, you had very nearly cried yourself out. The tears in your eyes dried, well… as well as they could whilst standing under the shower, and slowly your self-pity began to irritate you. It only irritated you because you hated receiving pity from… anyone… Loki included. Just thinking of him made your chest tighten, and stomach churn. You sighed bitterly and sharply turned the shower off before stepping out into the biting cold air. Quickly you reached for the fluffy, white robe and moved back into your bedroom.

Immediately you wanted to turn around and hide back in the en-suite, but Loki grabbed your arms before you had a chance to retreat and pulled you to his chest.
"(Name), please listen to me…" he said as you struggled against his tight grip.
"Loki, I don't want to hear it!" you just managed to shake his hold, and quickly stepped away from him, your arms crossed over your chest.
"(Name), let me explain," he said, stepping forward, but you were having none of it. You didn't want his explanations. You just needed to be alone! Why did he not understand that!?
"Just stop Loki! I'm too tired to deal with… this... at the moment," you used your hands to gesture to all the room.
"(Name), please… I never-,"
"Don't lie to me!" You felt the sorrow and powerlessness in your stomach return as tears stung at the corners of your eyes. "Loki… you can't lie to me… So please just don't even try." You had no idea if he was lying or not, even after being around him for so long, you still found him incredibly hard to read. But there was something in the pit of your stomach that told you he wasn't telling you the truth… On the off chance that he was being truthful, he would fight harder to convince you of it, right? But, there was nothing… no remark… no attempt… nothing… Your breathing started catching in the back of your throat and you couldn't hold his gaze any longer. Your water filled eyes lowered from Loki's emerald green orbs. "Please Loki… I just need to be alone for tonight…" your voice cracked through the entire sentence, causing you to mentally wince.
"You're really doing this now?!" Loki growled. Your eyes snapped back to his intense gaze, "You have overlooked so much more, but you linger on something so small?! You linger on a relationship that didn't even mean anything?! You forgave my attack on New York! And chose not to linger on the fact that I am of Jotunheim! But you cannot forgive a relationship that is long in the past!?" Loki was screaming, you had never before seen him so angry. Why did it frighten you so? Why were your hands and legs trembling? Why could you not control the tears sliding down your cheeks?

Having sensed your unease and anxiety, Loki took a moment to calm himself before speaking again,
"(Name)…" he started, slowly reaching forward to clasp your hands. "Please… we've been through so much… Do not throw it away because of this." Loki's grasp on your hand tightened. It felt so nice… the physical contact that told you everything would be fine… it gave you a sense of safety… But even that wasn't enough to quell the nagging voice in the back of your mind.
"I'm not throwing anything away Loki…" you started, pulling your hand away from his, even though it pained you to do so. "I… I just need some time to think… Okay?" Your (e/c) eyes were pleading with Loki to just let it be for the night… But the fiery emotion in Loki's told you he was hurting just as much as you were…
"Fine." He growled before turning on his heels and leaving you alone, not forgetting to slam the door on his way out.

That night was the worst of your life. You lay awake until the wee hours of the morning, and what was worse, your mind never slowed, even when you somehow managed to find sleep. What made it worse was the empty space next to you. For the past year, you had found a way to sleep next to Loki, even if it required ninja skills to accomplish it… but now? Now there was nothing more than a cold, empty space next to you. Was it so wrong of you to feel the way you did? No… there was a better question to find an answer too, it was one that you asked yourself over and over again: Why? Why did you feel that way? Why did you lose control of your emotions every single time you thought of Loki with that man? Why…?

You woke-up the next morning, more tired than when you went to bed, and not in a better mood at all. You should have jumped up to get ready for the day… but you just couldn't. You lacked the motivation and physical energy to move a single inch. You were too exhausted to even get angry at yourself for your irrational behaviour. The night had brought some clarity to your questions. At the very least you were at ease that the relationship between Loki and Alex was over, and you knew Loki still loved you… But the night's restless dreams didn't answer why you couldn't overlook the relationship. You weren't homophobic… that would just be ridiculous… You had a few friends who were Bi and Gay, and even some family members! You had no issues with them whatsoever… You bit your lower lip anxiously. So why?! You groaned and pulled the covers over your head, wanting to forget the past day, the argument, your emotions… everything that reminded you of your situation.

3rd Person POV

After he yelled at (Name) he felt awful… He had learnt there was no excuse for acting such a way, but her words and actions infuriated him to no end. She refused to understand, or even try to listen to his side of the story. (Name) was incredibly thick and stubborn at times, it was one of the many things that amused Loki within their relationship, but, at times, it could get them both into trouble.

He sighed softly and pinched the bridge of his nose. Dreams had eluded him for the entire night; in their place were nightmares and ridiculous scenarios that his mind played out over and over again. One was (Name) permanently leaving, and refusing to see him ever again. Another was far more gruesome; (Name) couldn't cope with her emotions, and when Loki went to try to reconcile, he found that she had killed herself. Loki woke up in a cold sweat when he dreamt of this, and around five in the morning he gave up on sleeping completely. Instead choosing to watch Midgardian television, though, there was nothing much on he actually liked. By eight thirty, there was stirring from The Avengers, and before long Loki found himself being interrogated by them. He took a mental note to get Barton back in the worst way possible for letting his love life become common knowledge, and Stark even more so for making it public on 'social media'. Loki still didn't entirely understand all of the Earth terms, but he knew that if it involved the Billionaire, it probably wasn't good.

Loki suppressed his need to roll his eyes. They were being ridiculous with the amount of questions,
"Okay, so you and this Alex guy were… involved… and, what? What happened?" The look on Clint's face as he asked the question irked the raven-haired man. It was a cross between an intently focused child and gossiping woman.
"Does it matter?" Loki replied, looking away from all of the gathered bodies in the room. No sleep and arguing with (Name) were a bad mix for the God of Mischief. He could only 'play nice' for so long before he snapped, and having Clint asking all of the questions shortened that time considerably. He was partially thankful when Natasha hushed Clint.
"If I can get (Name) out of her room, will you consider talking to her and straightening this out?" she asked. Loki wasn't sure why, but something in her question infuriated him, so much so that he completely lost what little self-control he had left.
"WHAT DOES IT MATTER?!" he growled, standing from his place on the couch. "(Name) refuses to talk to me, and refuses to listen to any reason!" He gave the group one last glare before leaving for the solitude of… anywhere… Anywhere that didn't remind him of her… Anywhere he could hide away and not shame himself with any more emotional outbursts. Anywhere where he could hide away and ignore the all of the fools around him…

The Avengers watched as Loki stormed out of the room. They had all seen a change in Loki when he met (Name), he started settling down, gained more control over himself, he had become… well… Good. But the threat of losing his emotional anchor was devastating him; it was devastating the both of them. Natasha knew (Name) was awake, but she refused to let anyone in her room, and now Loki was inconsolable. Clint wasn't faring well either. The guilt of ruining a once happy relationship weighed heavily on him, and, like so many other people in Stark Tower that night, sleep didn't come easily to him.
"We've got to do something…" Nat finally broke the silent tension in the room.
"Like what?" Tony asked his eyes still fixed firmly on the door Loki had exited through.
"I don't know…" the red head said, turning to Clint. "But we have to fix it…" she said sternly. Clint nodded,
"I'm in…" he said, immediately a chorus of 'same' and 'I'm in's' filled the room. So that was it. The Avengers were going to try to fix Loki and (Name)'s relationship, by any means necessary.