CHAPTER 2: I FORGOT TO REMEMBER TO FORGET

"Bella, what's that scar?" Edward asked anxiously, pointing to new scar on my forehead.
"Nothing." I answered numbly.
"Bella, what happened?" He demanded.
"Nothing, Edward."
"Bella, come on, tell me."
"Edward, nothing."
He glared at me; concern, care, anger, exasperation and pain all mixed together to form the depths of those green eyes. And then it came to me that I had no reason to not tell it to Edward. Who else did I have except him? He was the only one. I leaned into his open arms, into his chest, letting silent tears stain his shirt, sniffing. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and pressed his lips to my forehead, letting him console me. I still felt a bit dizzy and numb. I breathed in his scent, listened to his heartbeat, letting his steady mine. I sighed.

"What happened, Bella?" And when he spoke, his voice cracked too.
"Edward, I don't wanna stay there anymore!" I sobbed a strange sounds broke out of my chest and I gasped for air. There was also that heavy pain in my chest that I wanted to end. It hurt so much that I thought that I was going to fall to my knees but Edward's strong arms kept me strong, kept me standing.

"What happened?"

"Today, I saw Alice with some guy and well, that guy wa-wasn't s-s-some good guy so-so-so I went home and I kinda rebuked her and Rhoda came and-and-and sh-sh-she, oh, Edward!"

We stood for a few minutes in silence just like that, his presence calming me and keeping me together.
"Okay, come on, I think it's gonna rain soon. We need to get out of here." He let go of me but held close to me.

I cringed. "I don't want to go there. I don't wanna ever go there!" I screamed, close to hysteria again, sobbing and shaking and screeching all at once. In an instant, he'd pulled me into a close embrace.

"Ok, we're not going to go there, we're not going to go there!" He said desperately, looking for anything to say to calm my hysteria. "I promise, okay? You can stay with Rose at my place, okay?"

I nodded as he let me go and held on to my hand.

"No!" I shrieked, panting. "No!"
I realized I was crying and gasping, tears streaming down my face. Where the hell had that memory propped? It was starting again; dreams of him.

Darn him for messing with my emotions yesterday! I thought as I wiped the tears away, making it a note to stay away from Edward as physically as mentally. No Edward would intrude my life from now on and no Edward would intrude Alice's life as well.

"Alice!" I said as I jumped out of my bed. I knew I would have to talk to Alice tonight but then I froze when I reached the handle of my door, sighing.

I was having an epiphany.

To be honest, I knew my problem with Alice and Edward was not that he'd break her heart; it was just my history with him. And Alice was famous for one-night stands and she never dated or never let anyone get to her (Excluding Jasper). And to just ruin it all for her… because of what I wanted; closure from Edward, would be one of the most selfish things I did.

Sighing, I sunk back in my bed, the heavy feeling in my chest almost painful.

So I called the only one person who did not make me feel linked to my past; my boyfriend Jacob Black. I felt a rush of guilt in my chest when I realized I hadn't called him or even thought of him the whole day. I had been too busy with my 'Edward problems'.

Not anymore.

I grabbed my iPhone and because I was too tired, I simply pressed the home button for two seconds and bringing it close to my mouth, whispered 'Call Jacob Black'. I quickly brought my phone close to my ear.

"Hello?" He said and I smiled, immediately warm and feeling safe. That was Jacob's quality; he carried an aura of happiness around him and even hearing his voice made people happy; I was already grinning. I was gripped with a sudden desire to see him.

"Hey, Jake." I whispered, chuckling.
"Hey." He breathed. "Finally thought of me, huh?"
"Sorry," I said guiltily.
"It's okay, Bells. I was just kidding."
"Yeah," I agreed. "I know."
"So…?"
"Jake…do you mind…if I come over? I miss you."

"Yeah, sure!" His voice brightened up immediately. "At the beach?"

"Great, I am on my way!"

Grinning to myself, I bounded out of my room, jumping up and down with excitement.

"Hey baby!" Jacob shouted as he picked me up and swung me around. I giggled.
"Where's Billy?" I said.
"Gone to Clearwaters'!"
"Oh!"

His expression melted into something more serious as he leaned down and kissed me.

When Jacob kissed, me it was like a sense of warmth and comfort and safety ran through my veins. It wasn't frenzied or anything, it was just safe with me being the victim and he being the savior. He ran his tongue on my lower lip, making me moan as I opened my mouth and let our tongues meet. His hands tightened around my waist and suddenly he kissed me harder, more fiercely he ever had before and his hands were under my shirt.

No. Jacob was great but sex wasn't something I was ready for. I pushed him away, more rougher than I had intended to.

"Jacob, please." I pleaded. "Not now."
I tried to not feel guilty when I saw pain rushing into his eyes but I stood frozen to the spot.

"I'm sorry. It's just that…I'm sorry."

I threw my arms around him. Jacob in pain because of me? Never.

"Jake, I'm sorry." I apologized. "It's just that I've been going through a lot and not now."

I let him go and turned to the ocean and watched the waves come and go.

"That's what you always say, Bella!" he said furiously. "But you never tell me why! You never tell me what's going on with you and why you look like you've been hurt so much. You've always denied heartbreak and whenever I tried to ask you something about that, you always wrapped your arms around yourself and looked so broken that I thought you needed space. But it's been six months, Bella! Look, I need to know what's been happening or else…there's just no point of our relationship."

"Jacob…"I tried to say but no words came out.

"I think it's time we break up." He said.

"Jacob." I whispered, my eyes filled with held-back tears.

"Wait, I'm not finished yet…" he said. "If you ever need a friend, I'm here, just for you."

I pushed the brakes and screeching, the car engine came to a halt. Who the damn hell was this damn person who couldn't care out of survival instinct to save his own life?! Jumping out of the blue at a car like that…!

Gritting my teeth, I got out of the car, glaring at the stranger.

Only as he turned around, I realized he wasn't a stranger. Reddish brown hair, piercing green eyes which depthless at the moment, perfect lips turned into an 'o' of shock, perfect straight nose, gorgeous face overall, thin but muscular all equaled to one person if I hadn't just about lost my eyesight along with my mind; Edward.

I could already get my knees getting weak. Not only from desire or anything but also because of how much I had suffered. I had just lost Jacob and what he'd done to me yesterday…what he'd done two years ago…and what was to happen now? Nothing, right?

"Be careful." I said simply before turning around to sit in my car.

"Bella, wait!"

I was half-way in the car when he'd said that so I twisted my torso just to see his face looking all pleading and pained.

"Can we be friends?" He asked. "Like before."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I can't have you break me again, Edward! I can't let you close again! I'm scared if I let you in, I'll fall in love with you. I can't; you hurt me too bad. You've done nothing but hurt me.

But the other part was wildly saying;

Yes, yes, yes, Edward. You don't know how much these two years have tortured me. I miss you so much. I wanted to say so I pretty much surprised myself by saying, "No, Edward. Not now. Not ever" before driving away.

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