I don't own TYR
Rated M
Chapter 2
I woke up an hour earlier than what I was meant to the following day. My stomach was full of nerves and the last thing I felt like doing was a day of school.
It's not a good sign that my second day in and I was already hating it. How was I going to last a year?
I showered, taking the time to wash my hair and conditioning the ends thoroughly. My hair was long, thick and dark, I use to love it as it used to have a healthy shine to it and everyone would always comment on how beautiful it was. Now it looked dull and was about a year over due for a trim.
I could hear a knock on the door, so I quickly rinsed the conditioner and turned the water off. Another knock sounded out.
"Lou, are you in?" I could hear Buck yell out.
"Give me a sec," I yelled back, quickly drying myself.
Buck lived a few trailers away. He was only a few years older than me and loved anything with a motor.
Mum and I met him our second day here and since then he has been our friend.
I didn't drive, so sometimes Mum and I relied on Buck to drive us to and from the hospital. He never once said no. I can honestly say we wouldn't have made it for as long as we did, if we didn't have him.
I grabbed my robe and placed it around my body, before running to the door.
"Morning," I smiled,
"Morning sunshine." He smiled back, "How did school go yesterday?" he asked as I moved aside to let him in.
"I'm thinking maybe it's best if I just find a job, skip the school thing all together."
"That bad ha?"
"Well it wasn't good." I sighed, "I think the problem is I just don't feel like I belong. And I don't mean the whole, they are richer, prettier sort of a thing. I mean they all seem so young, so out of tune with how cruel the real world is."
"You have had to grow up quicker than most Lou. But don't hold that against everyone. It's not their fault, and you need some friends. So don't alienate anyone this early on."
"I don't need friends. I have you." I reminded him playfully.
"That you do. But you need girlfriends." He gave me a sharp look. "I don't want to hear about your drama's with boys."
"What boys?"
"Oh there will be boys." He looked me up and down. He had a grim look on his face, "There will be boys," he repeated. "And if I have to hear about them, and I hear something I don't like…"
"What?"
"Just find some girlfriends." He told me sternly. "Now it's Tuesday, I'm hitting the store after work, do you have a list for me?"
Every Tuesday Buck did his groceries after work, and every Tuesday he would do mine. Though he stated very firmly that there would never be a time he would buy tampons. And as it was nearly that time I knew that I had to go to the store by myself this week.
"No, I need to go this week."
"Enough said." He cringed. "But if you time it right I will give you a lift home. I get off at 5."
"Ok. Thanks Buck."
"All good. I'll catch you later." He gave me a soft smile before he headed out the door closing it after him. "And lock the damn door." He yelled out after he closed it.
I shook my head, but did as he asked.
I grabbed my last yoghurt from the fridge and had that for breakfast. I placed an apple and my last muesli bar on the counter. That would be my lunch.
After I dried my hair, I dressed in some jeans and a short sleeved shirt. I made sure I had a singlet top under this one too in case there was a repeat of yesterday.
After grabbing my homework and the books I had bought home yesterday, I grabbed my lunch that I had laid out and headed out the door.
An hour later I found myself in exactly the same spot I did yesterday. The words 'groundhog day' sounded out in my mind.
Unlike yesterday, I didn't concentrate on anything or anyone, not even the music. I headed for my locker and my locker only.
"You're new," A guys voice stated from behind me while I was placing my lunch in my locker.
"You'd be wrong." I told him as I turned around. I groaned when I saw it was the dick from gym yesterday.
"Oh I can tell you, I would remember seeing you before." His eyes raked over me, "Mmm, I would definitely remember you," He wiggled his eyebrows in fun, but his eyes looked over me like he actually liked what he could see.
"You commented on my itty bity shorts yesterday." I reminded him.
"Ah, so you remember me. That's always a bonus." He smirked.
I felt my lip twitch in a bit of a smile. "Ah I'm guessing you like what you see." He lifted the front of his shirt to show off his toned stomach. Lifting his eyebrows at me his smile grew, "Never seen a six pack? I can tell you it ain't the only thing that's hard at the moment."
I rolled my eyes at him but couldn't get rid of my smile all together as I pushed my way past him. I didn't need to be distracted by him or any other guy for that matter.
But the hands that suddenly held my hips from behind, had my feet frozen solid to the floor and the smile that was on my face to disappear.
I tried to wiggle out of his hold, but his hands tightened, "Please take your hands off of me." I went from finding him amusing to creepy in just seconds.
"Your acting like a frigid virgin," his mouth breathed in my ear, "But your smile before tells me you're more than up for what I've got."
"Are you telling me that because I found your act amusing, that gave you a green light to harass me?"
"Been back five minutes Lou and you're already making yourself known to the schools quarterback." Dorthia's voice chimed from behind me. I reluctantly turned in her direction knowing that this wasn't going to go down well. "You'll get a name for yourself." I wanted to hand her a new one but I was thrown back by the sight of her hand firmly secured in Jed Hunter's.
I chanced a good look at him, wishing that he would acknowledge me in some way. Oh god I missed him, I missed them all. I wasn't prepared for the indifferent look he had on his face as he stared right through me.
I felt myself frown when I realised he was looking at me like I didn't exist, like he didn't even know me at all.
An arm came around my shoulder, but I didn't nudge it off. I don't even think I could even if I tried. I felt weak and tired all of a sudden.
"Make sure you tell Kid I found her first." I saw a flicker of something in Jed's eyes as this dick with his arm around me staked some kind of claim on me.
I didn't …hang on…what?
I managed to finally free myself from him. "You saw me first?" I scoffed, "Like I'm some object that you happened to stumble across?" It was only a few minutes ago he was calling me a frigid virgin and now he acts as if he wants me. Where the hell does he get off?
"Come on baby, you were into me." He laughed, but if I didn't know better I would say it was a nervous chuckle as he stared over my head.
I looked him over and yes I thought he was hot. He had that cocky handsome boyish charm, but that was only for the first two minutes of him talking to me. Then once he had grabbed my hips and spoke to me the way he did he turned ugly straight away.
This boy had a mean streak, I was sure of it, and I didn't like it.
I decided I wouldn't even give him a response to his statement and I also wouldn't give Dorthia a show. I just walked off.
"Cock tease," he laughed, and I let him have that. Just this once he could have that.
I looked at my schedule and saw that I had a free period up first. Damn it. If I had studied my schedule yesterday I wouldn't have had to rush this morning.
Who was I kidding?
I had nowhere else I needed to be and I could use this extra time in the library catching up.
So I gathered up some books and made my way to the School's library.
Emily was there sitting at a table by herself. I took a chance and headed for that one. "Hi Emily, do you mind if I sit here?"
"Whatever." She said indifferently and without even looking up.
I placed my books on the table and got down to it. I actually decided that I wasn't too far behind with most of my subjects, but the ones that I was struggling with seemed to be so far beyond my comprehension.
"Are you following me around?"
I wasn't even going to respond to that. I gathered up my books and just walked away from the table.
"Play hard to get, just makes me want you more." Tyler yelled out after me.
The rest of the morning seemed to drag on. I found myself tuning out during class and when I realised I was missing what the teacher was on about I was already lost.
When lunch came around I knew that I had to get some fresh air and wake myself up. I couldn't do this, I needed to be focused and on my game.
A large crowd was gathered around a podium that had what seemed to be every jock in the school. Kid was up front talking to the crowd. From what I could gather he was talking about training for the up and coming season.
I really didn't know much about football, but I did know that it was usually the quarterback that led everyone. So why wasn't Tyler up there?
"Hey Lou," Ike nudged my shoulder.
"Shouldn't the quarterback be the one giving the speech?" I whispered to Ike, confused to why Kid was up there talking and not Tyler.
"Everyone looks up to Kid. They care what it is he has to say." Ike whispered back. I looked at Tyler and knew that wasn't true.
He stood to the side of Kid with the sourest of faces. Tyler was obviously second best, and maybe that didn't just include the football field.
"Emily told me something today." Ike suddenly announced. He actually seemed excited to tell me.
"Well are you going to tell me?" I asked
"Apparently Tyler DeWitt came up to her and was asking questions about you."
"About me? Why?"
"I don't know, maybe he likes you." I looked up at Ike. "He asked her if you knew Kid and Jed."
"What did she say?"
"Emily came from public, so she honestly doesn't know."
"Know what?"
"That you were their step sister."
"Can you please never say that, to anyone?"
"Of course. I mean it's no one's business but your own."
"Exactly."
"But Lou, I doubt I'm the only one who remembers."
"Yeah I know. But I just don't want to be reminded of it constantly."
"So are you interested in Tyler. Obviously he is in you."
"No Ike, he would be the last person I would be interested in. The boy's a pig, so please don't tell him anything about me."
"You aren't like the other girls."
"What do you mean by that?"
"Well girls always seem to fall at any of their feet." He indicated towards the football team.
"Surely not all girls." I laughed. "I mean I don't see someone like Emily falling at their feet."
"What do you mean girls like Emily?" I smiled at the defensive tone in his voice.
"I mean she is smart, she is obviously not into that macho bullshit. I would picture her with a guy like you over someone like that any day." I kind of got a feeling yesterday that they had a thing for each other, but I wasn't sure. I hope he takes the bait and tells me if I was right or not.
"Emily doesn't see me that way." Ike told me seriously, "And anyway girls like you do fall at their feet."
I smiled, he does like her. Hang on. What the hell did he mean when he said girls like me?
"What do you mean girls like me?"
"Beautiful," he grinned nudging me with his arm.
"Ike, you're making me blush." I smiled because he too was blushing.
"Well its true and beautiful people seem to gravitate towards other beautiful people."
"I can tell you right now, there is nothing beautiful about that boy up there. Tyler may have a handsome exterior but he is vile and ugly on the inside. I am not interested in that."
"Far enough," he smiled down at me seemingly happy with my answer.
"How about you walk me to our next class and you can check over my homework for me?" I fluttered my eye lashes for a dramatic effect.
"You're on."
The rest of the day flowed by without drama. I made sure I stayed out of everyone's way and as if they knew I was making the effort, no one seemed to bother me also.
After school I made my way to the supermarket. I could have gone to the one closer to home, but Buck was going to give me a ride home so I went to the one forty minutes away in the opposite direction.
By the time I made it there, my feet were screaming at me. It had been a hot day and I swear they were so swollen I was going to have trouble getting my shoes off tonight.
After getting everything I needed I made my way to Buck's work.
He was a mechanic, and from what I'd heard, he was fast becoming one of the best in town. He didn't own the business but he did run it. That's a huge achievement for someone so young. Well I thought it was any way.
"Hey Lou," he greeted running up to take my shopping from my hands.
"Buck," I smiled back, "Thank you. My arms felt like they were going to drop off."
"Harden up," he joked placing my bags in the back of his pickup. "You need to do anything else while we're here?"
"No. I need to get home and start with my mountain of homework."
"I don't miss those days."
"Do you know of anyone hiring?" I enquired as I stepped up into the truck. "I need to find a job after school or in the weekend's maybe."
"Not off hand, but will certainly keep an ear out." Buck started the truck and pulled out of the lot. "You don't think that maybe it will be too much? School and working?"
"Probably. But what other choice do I have? Mum's money isn't going to last forever and it really wasn't much to begin with after I paid all the hospital bills. I need money to survive."
"I wish I could help you out more."
"You already do so much for me."
"What if you move in with me? It may help you out going halves in everything."
"I can't do that. That's not fair on you, hell I'd mess up your game."
"My game?"
"Yeah, with the ladies." I smirked at Buck's obvious discomfort of where this conversation was going.
"Ladies?"
"Oh please Buck, I'm not blind. I've seen a few ladies leaving your trailer late at night or early in the morning. I know there's ladies."
"And what the hell are you doing up and out of your trailer in those hours?" He questioned me.
"Don't you turn this on me."
"Ok, so moving in won't work." Buck finally declared.
I laughed. "I'm sorry for teasing you."
"Tease all you like. I'm just happy to see you smile for a change."
"It feels good too." I told him honestly.
After Buck dropped me at my trailer, and he gave me strict instructions that I was to lock the door, I placed my groceries away and settled in for the night.
.
.
I had no idea what time I had fallen asleep last night. When I got home I planned to settle in, but once I opened my homework up I realised I had so much to do. I also had to sort my washing so I could do it after school today. I honestly felt like I had just closed my eyes when my stupid alarm sounded off.
After having a long hot shower, I sorted through my clothes deciding what to wear today. This was the hard part, I didn't own a lot of clothes and the little I did have was most likely not appropriate to wear to school, but I couldn't go in the same clothes as I wore yesterday, that much I did know.
I looked outside to see that we were being graced with yet another summer's day, so I pulled on my black tube top but then slipped on my pink and black tank over top and teamed it up with my cut off shorts. I did think that maybe they were a little short, but decided that most of the girl's skirts were shorter yesterday.
My feet were already doing a happy dance that they would be in flip flops all day.
After eating some yoghurt and grabbing an apple I gathered my books and headed for day two of school.
As soon as I made it onto school grounds I was instantly regretting my clothing choice as one or two boys yelled out.
"Hot damn little Mamma," I was suddenly pushed up against a car. Tyler, once again had his hands on my hips and his face in mine. I instantly dropped my books so I could push him back.
"Get off of me," I grunted as I tried to wiggle free.
"That's it baby keep wriggling, just like that." He moaned causing his friends to laugh behind him.
"You fucking pig, get off of me."
"Tyler lay off," I knew that voice but I made no move to acknowledge it. Tyler strengthened his grip on my hips.
"Lou and I go way back, so back off Kid," Tyler said as if that explained everything.
"She doesn't look like she wants to know you, so lay off until she says otherwise."
Tyler placed his lips to my ear, "We'll finish this another time," he whispered before licking the shell of my ear.
He stood back from me then and smirked down at me. Anger spread through me and my hands curled into fists at my sides.
I didn't even think I just threw everything I had in me into that one punch but it was enough to clock him in his mouth and make him stumble back.
"You fucking bitch," he snarled as he stepped into me, but Kid and Jimmy were faster as they grabbed his arms and kept him back.
Me, I just smiled and picked up my books before turning and walking towards the school. I had to shove myself through the crowd that had gathered, but that didn't matter because I was doing everything in my power to not cry at the pain that now radiated up my arm.
"Lou wait," Jed called out but I didn't dare turn around, but a hand grasped my elbow.
I swung around with every intention on hitting him regardless of my swelling fist, but he was already prepared and blocked me as my arm swung out.
He then wrapped his arms tight around me and pulled me between two large trucks parked either side of each other. I didn't fight him because I knew that this conversation had to happen sooner rather than later and I for one needed it to be sooner so I could get on with the rest of the school year.
"Cody, get the door," Jed puffed as he lifted me and deposited me on the back seat of the truck. Way to make a girl feel fat when he's huffing and puffing after carrying me only a couple of feet.
I sat up and made myself comfortable before looking up at Jed and Cody. I knew the other two wouldn't be far away so I adjusted my top and my flip flops that had both slipped.
"Where have you been?" Jed asked almost desperately which caused me to flinch. "We came home and you were just gone. Your stuff was gone and your mum was gone." The sadness in his voice crumbled the last of my resolve and I felt the tears pool in my own eyes.
I looked past him to see Cody was doing his best to block us from everyone's view, his back was to Jed and I giving me the pretence that we were alone. Not that I would care if we were or we weren't. I wasn't getting into this now.
Not at School.
"Answer him. Out of anyone we deserve and explanation." While Jed sounded sad, Kid was pissed. I didn't blame either reactions but I didn't think I could do this here.
"I've been here," My voice sounded small even to my own ears.
"You're lying," Kid roared, but I shook my head,
"I'm not. I promise I'm not."
"For two years we haven't seen any sight of you, so no I think you're a liar." He seethed.
"Kid," I think it was Jimmy, said carefully.
"No fuck that, we deserve an explanation."
"I promise I will give you one, just not here and not now."
"When then?"
"You can come to my place, tonight, we can talk there."
"Where are you living?"
"Bucannon's Road," I looked down at my hands as I whispered, "The trailer park, mine is the one at the back left hand corner, its blue and white."
I slid from the seat and once again grabbed my books and finally made my way inside. I didn't look back, and I really didn't expect to see them tonight but for the next six hours that didn't matter as I had work to do.
For the rest of the day I walked around school in a daze, and sat in my classes in a dream. My hand continued to throb from this morning, but my mind was busy worrying about what was going to happen tonight.
As I left school for the day I caught sight of Tyler talking with Dorthia in the carpark. Neither noticed me, but they both seemed to be in deep conversation.
A small part of me worried that he was going to treat her in the same disgusting way he treated me, but when they both started laughing I carried on walking.
I walked home as fast as I could, feeling a mixture of apprehension and excitement. Was I allowed to even feel that? I had no clue.
Once I got to the trailer I quickly raced around and opened all the windows allowing air to flow through. I grabbed a jug of water and went around and watered all of my plants. I had a small but flourishing vegetable patch that would hopefully see me through the winter months.
I just hoped the wild rabbits and the crabby man three trailers down left them alone.
I decided to get comfy so I grabbed my yoga pants and a singlet top and put them on. I looked to my mum's picture, "The boys are coming. We missed them, didn't we?" I kissed the tip of my finger and pressed it to her picture.
I didn't think I could eat before they got here, so I grabbed my homework and got down to business.
Two hours later and I was starting to lose hope. It was going to be getting dark out soon, and my stomach was now growling at me to eat.
Just as I decided to get some food the rumbling sound of a vehicle had me pausing. I had a quick look around the trailer making sure nothing was out of place before waiting for them to come to the door.
My heart started to pound as the sound of four doors being slammed reached my ears. "This is it," I muttered to myself.
Cody was the first to poke his head through the door. I got up from the ratty sofa and walked over to him.
"Come in," I told him noting that his eyes were scanning the inside of the trailer. That annoyed me but I didn't say anything, I just wrapped my arms around myself as one by one they came in.
The trailer seemed so small in that instant as these four huge guys stood in the middle of it.
"You can sit if you want," I gestured towards the three seat sofa and the one arm chair as I moved to sit on top of the small kitchen bench top.
I watched in disgust as they seemed to contemplate it. Their own features held their own disgust at my choice of seating.
"Have a seat, you won't catch anything." I snapped, "Or how about you just go. This was a bad idea."
"No, we're sitting." Jed pushed the boys towards the sofa while he took the chair.
The silence was thick and uncomfortable. I didn't know whether I should just start talking or wait for them to. Deciding I would rather not talk I sat and waited.
"So…we're waiting,"
"Why are you being so cruel?"
"Because you left, without a word."
"I'm sorry, I'm truly sorry but I didn't see any other choice at that stage."
"No other choice? If your mother made you leave you could have written us a fucking note. Even Dad had no idea what the hell happened. He was sent divorce papers weeks later and then that was that."
"I didn't have time for a note. I promise I didn't. Mum was hurting…"
"Did she accuse our father of fucking hurting her? Is that it? Cause she is a fucking liar if she did."
I slid from the bench and stormed up to Kid, to which he stood from the couch, and I slapped him.
"Don't you dare speak about my mother that way. She loved you like you were her own."
"Ha, funny way of showing it. NOT ONE WORD FROM EITHER OF YOU!" Jed roared. Both Cody and Jimmy stood next to the boys trying to get them to calm down. I was shocked that Jed had yelled like that. He was the calm one, always. I never knew him any other way.
But it didn't matter, none of it mattered. They would never understand, never know what it was like for us walking away from them, from that house. I know my mum loved them with everything she had in her. She truly did think of them as hers.
I was livid that Teaspoon hadn't told them the truth. I really didn't think he would stoop lower than he already had when he slept with that receptionist, but I thinking telling his sons he had no idea what had happened with Mum was most definitely lower.
I turned my back and willed the angry tears away. "Your Dad knew," I seethed, "he knew so he could have told you too." They needed to know what sort of man their father is.
"Stop lying,"
"I'm not. Mum found your dad pounding his receptionist that is why she left. If you don't believe me look at the divorce papers it states it as the reasoning." Maybe not in those words, but adultery was certainly there
"If that was true we would have stuck by your side, picked her side."
"No you wouldn't have. He is your father, your blood, you would have never…"
"See you don't get to make that assumption because you never gave us the heads up. So fuck you and your mother." Kid's tone was so hateful.
"OUT!" I pointed to the door and took a step back, "Get out," I swiped at the traitorous tears. I couldn't keep them back now, not even if I tried.
"No not until we talk…."
"I will not let you sit here and talk about my mother like that. Get out." I interrupted Kid having heard enough.
"Lou?" I squealed as the sound of Buck's voice, he caught me off guard. It was Thursday and he was going to take me to do my washing while he did his.
"You ok?" he asked as he stepped into the trailer. He placed a small box on the counter then he walked over to me never taking his eyes off the boys. He grabbed my face in his hands and with his big thumbs wiped my tears away.
"Are you in trouble Lou?"
"No they were just leaving." I told him seriously.
"Lou no, please can we just talk. I promise no more yelling." Jed pleaded.
I looked up at Buck at the same time my tummy rumbled. Buck smiled down at me. "Have you eaten?" I shook my head no. "You're coming outside with me." He didn't leave any room for arguing so I followed behind him, on his way out he grabbed something from the box he had bought, and then we headed out towards his truck that was parked behind the boys.
"Eat this," He passed me an apple. "Mrs Davies gave them to me, but it was a huge box so I have given you half."
"Thank you." I grabbed the apple but I couldn't bring myself to eat it. Not while my stomach was in an unsettled state.
"Do you want me to stay? I can hide out here or your room, in case you need me." I did seriously contemplate it but shook my head no. The boys wouldn't hurt me. That I was sure about, "Well if you do need me holler real loud, I'll be listening."
"I will, thanks Buck, for everything."
"Anytime kid," He smiled which caused me to smile also. "We'll do our washing in the weekend." He smiled as he hoped back in his truck.
I gave him a small wave before I headed back inside with my apple in my hand and a heavy heart in my chest. I placed the apple on the counter next to the box. I don't think I could eat even if I tried.
I looked back towards the boys and decided to just give it to them straight.
Life was too short for games, and I needed to get this out so I could get on with the school year.
I slid down the back of the small kitchen counter. I pulled my legs up to my chest and wrapped my arms around then securely.
"Mum was sick. Cancer." I let that hang there for a minute, "She went to see your father and found him as I said before. I found her that afternoon, she wasn't doing to good and she told me everything, about your dad and about the cancer. I decided that I had to take her from that house. I needed her to not have that stress on her mind. I packed us up and somehow mum drove us here." I didn't let my eyes find any of theirs as I continued.
"I left school to take care of Mum. I couldn't drive, I didn't know how, but Buck," I pointed towards the door as to explain who he was, "drove us to and from the hospital. He helped us when we needed it and for that I will forever be grateful." I swallowed the lump in my throat as this next bit was hard for me to talk about. "Mum died two months ago."
I still didn't look over to them I just stared at my knees. "I'm living off the money I got from selling her car and her life insurance. It's not much but it seems to be enough to survive. So there it is. The truth"
It remained silent for such a long time, that I was starting to wonder if any of them were even in the trailer still.
I took a deep breath and after a minute or two I allowed my eyes to wander.
My eyes found Cody first. His forearms were leaning on his thighs and he had his head in his hands rubbing his hands over his hair.
Jimmy was looking over at Jed and Kid, so I turned my eyes to the both of them. Jed was leaning as far back in the couch as he could get. His elbow was propped up by the arm of the sofa and his head was leaning on his hand as he stared back at me.
Kid looked how I felt. Drained and completely lost.
Did I have enough in me to care?
"Your Mum died?" Kid shook his head as if to clear it, "And you don't tell us?" I watch as his face soon loses his grief and concern. Anger is now clear in his eyes and the scowl on his face. "She was our Mother too. For six years she was our Mother too and you didn't think we had the right to know?" I saw Jimmy shuffle to the edge of the sofa as if he was preparing for something to happen. "I get that she was pissed at Dad but what did we do to her that had her leaving us?" He gestured to Jed and himself. My lip trembled and tears freely fell from my eyes.
"We had no idea where you were, where she was. I was scared and hurt and for two years I just didn't get what we had done that was so bad you up and left us. And now here you are telling me you were here all the FUCKING time, and you needed us…" he was up and out of his chair so quick I barely had time to stand on my own two feet.
Cody rushed over to me and pushed me behind him, blocking me from Kid.
"You had no right. No right at all." Kid seethed.
"Your dad knew." I whispered from behind Cody. "He knew she was sick, he knew she had an appointment that morning and yet he didn't care enough to go with her. He went to his office and screwed his secretary while my mother is getting told she's dying." I cried, "He knew we were living here because he sent the rest of our stuff to us, so if you really wanted to know where we had gone all you had to do was ask him." I cried out even more as my heart crumbled into sharp edged pieces slashing their way through my body. "He knew,"
"I don't believe you." Kid spat before he shoved Cody into me. I lost my balance briefly but caught myself on the wall before I completely fell to the ground.
Cody retaliated just as quick with a sharp punch to Kid's jaw. Jimmy rushed from the couch to intervene, all three of them yelling at each other, while Jed just stayed on the couch in the same position he was in before.
"I know you're pissed, but don't you ever use me to hurt her," Cody seethed in Kid's direction before leaving the trailer.
Jimmy was now blocking me from Kid.
I didn't know what hurt the most, the fact that I needed protecting from one of these boys or the fact that I realised that Kid and Jed were right in hating me.
I didn't once look at this from their point of view, though I always thought that since their father knew then they had to know to.
I placed my hand over my stomach suddenly feeling very ill.
"I'm sorry," I whimpered, "I didn't know, didn't think that you had no idea. All this time I thought you stayed away because you chose to, I never once contemplated that you didn't even get to know that there was a choice to make." I looked to both brothers, "But would you have chosen us even if you did know?"
"You don't get to ask that, that isn't fair all things considered. He's our father, but your Mother raised us. We loved them both."
"I need you guys to leave." I said as strongly as possible, but my throat was hoarse and I felt too weak at this stage to feel strong.
Kid didn't say anything. He didn't even argue as he stormed past me and through the door. My body jumped when I heard the slam of the truck door.
"Come on man," Jimmy gave Kid's foot a small kick with his own foot to get him to move.
"We loved you to," Kid whispered as he walked past me and this time there was no way I could keep the cry of anguish from ripping through me as my body collapsed in a heap on the floor.
I curled my body up in a ball and cried on the floor. My mind was going over everything that Kid said, for two years I didn't think that they cared. For two years I felt alone with no one to lean on while my mother leaned on me. I was her rock, her care, her daughter, her nurse her everything, which I would do time and time again if I needed to, but there were times I was so lonely so sad and so scared that I wished I had those boys. And all this time I may have been able to have that if only I had asked.
"I'm sorry, so sorry," I cried over and over again as I stayed curled up on my floor.
I didn't know how long I stayed there, but I jumped when a set of strong arms picked me up and carried me to my bed. "Hush now Lou, it's just me." Buck's gruff voice whispered in my ear. He laid me on the bed before he went over and closed the window.
It was then that I heard the sound of car doors shutting and the start of a motor that I realised that the boys had still been out there. I went to get up and rush out there to tell them I was sorry once again but Buck stopped me.
"They've already gone Lou," I deflated back on the bed at his words, "Do you want to talk about it?" I quickly shook my head no.
I didn't want to talk full stop. "Right, well I'm going to take the sofa," I went to protest, "And before you start that shit I'm not taking no for an answer." He flicked my light off, "Get some sleep. I have a feeling you're going to need it."
He closed the door after him and I had to admit it was nice knowing that I wasn't alone.