Hey! Here's the second chapter- I altered the story so its a bit different to the actual script- to make it more interesting…so I hope you like it!

Disclaimer- don't own anyone or thing

----Chapter 2- Bras and Nose Bleeds----

"Miss Lint! Are you alright?..."

"…Shh, let 'er lie…"

"…Jack! Don't look at her there!!"

"…Wot?"

I heard voices. I feigned unconsciousness just to listen to the rest of their conversation.

" …She is a woman, Jack , not a whore, do not look at her inappropriately !..."

"But Will, me boy, God created us in his image! Surely he would want us to admire a women's body since it is made in his image, I think it rather inappropriately of you that you do not feel the need to appreciate God's wonderful body…!"

True. But no reason to let him stare.

"…God created men in his image…" I gritted my teeth, ready to punch him out.

"Oh MY! William! What a sexist remark! Wait till the lady 'ears bout this…!" Yeh you wait, Orlando. Will!

"I-You know what I mean, Jack. I know it sounds sexist, but I do believe god is a man…" At this I opened my eyes slowly. They didn't even notice me, each were kneeling beside me and glaring at each other.

"Oh my virgin ears! William said sex! S-E-eeeX, SEX!!" yelled Jack, smirking

When Will didn't say anything Jack went on.

"Wellllll I do believe that God is in fact a woman!" Jack, said professionally, clearing his throat. "When I go to heaven I will see his…her face. Just imagine all the lovely this God and I would do in heaven…William, heaven is women, therefore God is a woman." Jack concluded.

I couldn't take it anymore. Pausing to think for only a moment I reached out and grabbed two fistfuls of dreads under his headscarf and yanked hard, hoping that Jack Sparrow was somehow Johnny Depp wearing the pirate wig. If Johnny Depp had said all those things…well I don't know.

"Ow! What d'you do that for, woman!" screeched Jack, clutching his head.

Ok. I rest my case. I give up! Will Turner and Jack Sparrow are in my bedroom. And I daresay I believe it.

"Just checking if you're real…how did you uh get here?" I couldn't believe I was talking to the fictional character who was played by an actor I had met recently are the premiere, with my ex, who thinks he's Will Turner.

"Captain Jack Sparrow…you, my pretty luv, may call me Jack…" said "Jack", completely ignoring my question and taking my hand without invitation, planting a soft kiss on it.

Will grimaced, turning to Jack. "Don't call her that" he spat.

"Yeh, Jack. I'm not worth talking to since I'm not a man" I glared at Will

Will gulped, looking uncomfortable. Jack smirked at him

"Don't you start, Sparrow! I'm sick of the both of you!" I screeched at him.

"Fine. Ugly luv, then" Jack had the nerve to say, grinning idiotically at Will, still.

"How did you get here?" Will asked, agitated.

"How did you get here?" mimicked Jack

"I asked first"

"And I asked second, what's ye point, whelp?" Jack said. The weird thing is, that when he says something it actually sounds smart. It kinda freaked me out.

Will sighed, still glaring at Jack.

"Well. Last thing I remember was your dearly beloved Elizabeth, kissing me!" smirked Jack. "No. that's the second last…I remember being eaten from the kraken because of said second last point"

Will looked like he wanted to strangle him. I swiftly stepped between them, facing Jack. I stared menacingly, daring him to say more. He looked a bit uncomfortable, opening and closing his mouth idiotically. I think he felt a bit intimidated, since I was a least a centimetre taller than him. I guess being tall does have its perks.

I got it now. Somehow, both Will and Jack had left off from Dead Man's Chest- a fictional movie, and ended up in my house. I had no idea where the real Orlando and Johnny were. I sighed, turning around, to see Will still glaring with hatred towards Jack. When he realised I'd turned he quickly converted to a friendly smile. I rolled my eyes, stepping out of his personal bubble, allowing him to glare at Jack again. I walked across my large bedroom to my bedside table and dialled Orlando's number on my BlackBerry. Something I'm supposed to be not doing.

It rang seven times, before the usual monotone woman's voice came on saying that the person was not available. I groaned in frustration, and dialled again. From across the room I could see Will and Jack looking at my phone as if it were a hand grenade. Will stared suspiciously when I smacked it down, when no one answered again.

"Wots that?" asked Jack

"Oh my cell phone? Its an electronical device that converts sound into electrical signals that can be transmitted over distances and then converts received signals back into sounds" I recited, remembering the time in high school when my teacher made us say it at least 50 times. I proud to say that I remember it

Will and Jack gaped at me like I was talking nonsense. Jack frowned, then rolled his eyes at me.

"Which means?"

"Uh it's something you use to talk to each other without having- wait no um. You talk into it, and the other person on the other erm side can hear you, without having to be next to you- they can be anywhere" I explained hopelessly.

Jack still looked as confused as if I told him that heaven was not women. Will looked surprised, nodding. Thank god!

"What year is it Will?" I asked curiously, wanting to know if I'd travelled back from time- which was impossible, or it was just him.

"1723" answered Will lightly.

I was shocked. 1723?? That was like 300 years!

"Noo its 2007"

Will looked at Jack. Jack gave Will a stare as if to say this woman is mad!

"Ok. Look around the room, guys- sorry men. Do you see anything you recognise?" I asked each. Both Jack and Will looked around the room, surveying my TV, my lamp, air-con, my laptop, a few scattered pens and pencils and other pieces of junk on my desk. Unfortunately Jack went in the bathroom, turned on the shower, the bath and the sink, water spraying everywhere. I heard a few bangs, and saw Jack come out, soaked but looking calm.

"So?" I asked Will, after a bit of exploring.

Will shook his head slowly.

"See? Its 2007 not whatever year you think it is." I concluded.

"Well I know what this is, and I happen to quite like these!" commented Jack lightly, and hoisting his wet self onto my bed. My eyes grew wide, as I shrieked at him to get off, grabbing the ends of his pants and starting to pull, before let go shortly, as he thudded onto the floor.

"Ow!" said Jack on the floor, rubbing his head. "You know, there are more ways to get me pants off…you can just ask?!" said Jack, smirking.

I fumed, slapping him across the cheek. Jack clasped his hands on his face and started cursing.

"Before you say anything, you definitely deserved that." I said angrily. "I've seen the movie and I know what your like, Sparrow" oops.

"Muovee?" asked Will, his innocent little brows knitted together in confusion.

"Yes, Will it's what you do for a living, shouldn't you know?" I said, irritated. Double oops!

Will looked even more confused, and stopped talking. Jack, however got up from the floor and grinned.

"Whats ye name, luv?" he asked.

I glared at him, refusing to talk. Jack looked uneasy again, and whispered something in Will's ear. Will rolled his eyes.

Jack cleared his throat. "May I please ask your name, miss?" he said politely.

I sighed, before answering "Francesca Lint…"

"How old are ye Cesca luv?" he said, back to his normal voice.

I winced, hearing the shortened version of my name that I used to hear from a certain person that was standing beside Jack. "twenty one…how old are you Mister Sparrow?" I asked.

"Tis a mystery you shall never not find out…" said Jack proudly.

"What d'you think, Will? I reckon hmmm…probably a few years short of my dad…but even he doesn't have that many wrinkles…" I asked Will conversationally. Will smirked.

"I'm thirty-two! Do I look that old to ye?" said Jack, offended.

"Ha, that wasn't really that hard Sparrow" I smirked. While Jack sulked I turned to Will.

"How old are you, Will?" I asked curiously.

"I'm twenty-four, Miss Lint" answered Will meekly. I blinked. He was supposed to be 30!!- I remember going to his birthday party just last month!! Although he did look a bit younger.

"Huh…okay"

I asked a bit more about Will, even though I already knew about his whole life. I've watched a movie about his life- how ironic. Meanwhile Jack had somehow gone into my closet and was waving around a packet of tampons in one hand and a black lacy bra in the other.

"Wots this?" asked Jack loudly, holding the tampons in between me and Will. Will looked curiously at it, before handing it back to Jack. Jack opened it, and dozens of tampons fell to the ground. He picked one up, unwrapping it, and waved it around my nose.

"It's uh…for nose bleeds. You know, when you get nose bleeds, err you just shove them up and it, uh eases the flow!...invented in the erm nineteenth century…" I gushed, half embarrassed and half furious that I was in this position.

Will and Jack actually looked thoroughly convinced. I sighed, bending down to pick up the tampons. I shoved them in and threw the packet on the bed.

"Whats this then?" asked Will, snatching the bra from Jack and examining it carefully.

"Oh that's a bra. Designed to keep women's breasts in place and to make them look better" I said a bit louder than usual to his face. Will blushed, handing the bra to me.

"Hmm I like the sound 'o that" exclaimed Jack, smirking. Unfortunately I didn't have even energy to hit him.

"Anyway…I have somewhere to go- in about an hour…so erm...i'll fix you guys something to eat and then…yeh…I've just got to change clothes…so just uh stay here" I exclaimed tiredly, realising that I was still in my pyjamas.

I went across to my closet and fished out a pair of denim shorts, white tank top and a bra and then locked myself in the bathroom. My jaw fell as I discovered exactly what damage Jack had done. The whole bathroom was wet, and half of my makeup case was spilled. I picked them up and pulled on my clothes. I then brushed and straightened my hair, washed my face, and put a bit of foundation and mascara on. I dabbed on a bit of perfume and went back into my bedroom.

Jack was leaning on my bed, with a huge grin plastered on his head, looking at last months issue of Vogue. Will, obviously having nothing better to do, was peering in next to him. I walked briskly over to them and discovered what they were looking at. It was me. I was wet and waist deep in a dark swimming pool in my bikini. Jack was looking with a hint of jealousy at a topless Adrien Brody next to me, with his arms around my waist, and we were advertising a Gucci perfume.

I snatched the magazine out of Jack's grubby hands, and stuffed it under my pillow, not wanting him to see more than he had already seen. Jack smirked, and turned his attention to me. Both men raised their eyebrows at my outfit.

"Yes??" I sighed.

"Well I 'aven't got a problem with wot ye wearin' but me thinks ye beauty is too much for William to handle" smirked Jack. Will turned to glare at him.

"These" I gestured to my shorts "Are called shorts…women wear them these days…not dresses anymore, so get used to it…and its hot" I explained to them as patiently as I could.

Will nodded, still trying to avoid looking at my bare legs. Jacks eyes, on the other hand couldn't leave them. It was all too much. I escaped the tension by quickly darting back to my closet and taking out a pair of Levi's. I went in the bathroom again and pulled off my shorts and tugged on the jeans, then returned to the room.

"Better?" I asked Will, who just smiled in return.

"Not" pouted Jack.

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