Painting Lessons- the rewrite
a Graire story
Chapter Two: I See You Believed That Cheesy Advertisement
My first reaction to what I saw before me was shock, and only after my jaw dropped and my suitcase slipped out of my hand did I start to smile. That little upward curve of my lips turned into a cheeky grin. Then, clutching my belly and almost falling down, I started to laugh. I don't even know what was so damn funny, it must have just been the whole idea of that stupid relater tricking me. The irony of this was killing me!
Last week I made arrangements with this guy, Zach to ship me here to Mineral Town. He drove me himself on his own little boat, and it took at least all night. I even managed to puke all over his when we finally pulled up to the dock, I realized that I had no idea where I was going. I wondered around the beach for a half an hour before I found these stairs that led to the town square, fortunately having a map on the bulletin board.
All the roads in this town were apparently brick and I was tripping over loose ones for two hours before I came to a fork in the road. They also didn't have cars here, so I couldn't even use my girlish charm to get a ride. I had looked down to the left, the way the map said to go, but couldn't see anything. I thought to myself, "This is really gonna suck ass when I need something from in town." By the looks of that map, most of the stores were in the upper half of the village. I had just passed what looked like a blacksmith shop and two farms a while back.
The total amount of time it took to get here was a night and half a day. And now that I was finally done laughing, I slowly started to feel pissed off.
"Hello!" called a hoarse voice. A fat man in a red suit and top hat came into my vision, his thick graying mustache quivering over his thin chapped lips as he spoke. "Are you a tourist?"
"Um. . . Not really." I said, noticing how short and old the guy looked. "This relater guy told me I could have this place. He made it sound refreshing"
"MT Relater told you that you can live a refreshing farm life?" he repeated.
"Isn't that what I just said?"
"Your the new farmer?" he started laughing, big and deep from his head to his toes. "You've been tricked! Ha ha!"
What an asshole. "Yeah, I've realized that." I stated icily.
"This used to be a gorgeous farm, but not since the owner passed away! As you can see, no one's been taking care of it." the fat man bellowed.
"What the fuck!?" I yelled, clenching my tube of lard was really pissing me off. I felt like breaking something.
"Not many people want to work on the farm now, so they decided to make the advertisement more attractive. Every now and then people who have seen the ad come here. Just like yourself!" He just would NOT shut up! "But as soon as they see the farm they leave. Just like that. It's been a while since the last one, though."
"You annoying bastard! Just shut up!"
"I see you believed that cheese advertisement." he chuckled. I clenched my fists tighter until my knuckles turned white and then decked him right in his fat, skin cancery face. The moron stumbled back and fell on his wide ass, stirring up some dust in the dead wintery grass. He covered his face with a dirty paw and gasped at the blood dripping from his nose.
"Look here, mister. I am goddess damn tired of idiots like you trying to trick me! You have no idea what hell I've been through just to get here! I am out of fucking money and have no where else to go! Now get up off your lard ass and fix this shit!"
The man let out a little wine, collected his top hat and slowly stood up. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry! Just. . . Please don't hit me again!" Was he actually afraid of me?
After the deal binding hand shake Mayor Thomas (MT Relater) and I made, I stepped into my "new" farmhouse (shack.) It was grody, yet quaint. There was only one rectangular room, cabin-like with rough wooden floors and walls. The faint sent of mildew lingered in the stale air, and cobwebs were everywhere.
On the right side of the room sat an old bed. I carefully walked over to it, the floor boards creaking eerily under my weight. An ancient moth-eaten quilt was lazily spread out over the mattress. It really didn't look like I wanted to sleep on it. Nevertheless, I sat down on it, the pitiful sound of the rusted springs sighing and moaning as they were slowly compressed. It reminded me of the snake with the back trouble from Disney's Jungle Book movie.
Fresh dust stiring in the air, I fell back on the bed and closed my eyes with a short peaceful sleep consuming me.
I know it's been like forever, but the lack of reviews wasn't really motavating. Thanks to the one person who did!
This is short, I know, but I'm lazy.
Review and I'll be your best friend! Not really, but still.